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iamnotlanuk · 22 hours ago
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what we really need is tumblr minus, where you can pay to delete someone else's post
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pruane2 · 23 hours ago
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brunch is only available when breakfast and lunch kiss
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gayarsonist · a day ago
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if billionaires try to make space travel into a luxury holiday thing we should just put them all in one big rocket and shoot them into space and leave them there
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castiellesbian · a day ago
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When a mutual likes a post after a while of never showing up in my activity
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I love how when you pick up a cat they can veto that decision simply by altering their gravitational field
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liberalsarecool · a day ago
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Armchair athletes need not reply. Racists STFU.
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pukicho · 22 hours ago
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Video game culture consists of ‘who’s your favorite pokemon’ and ‘kill the baby’
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thyrell · a day ago
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chillin on the weekend like usual
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straycatj · 18 hours ago
i drew a famous jason with j-san! i hope you like it.
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オレ トモダチになるジシンない…
I'm not confident that I will be able to be a friend of him... 😑
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gayarsonist · a day ago
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me: *coughs and when i take my hand away there's blood* i'd be the most fuckable person in victorian england right now
everyone else: we were going to call you an ambulance but actually however quickly this kills you won't be fast enough
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straycatj · a day ago
Hello J-san! I love your name. The pronunciation of J-san, sounds like the name 'Jason' and i think thats very cute! I hope you, landlady and the apprentice all have a safe and lovely day, thank you for making me smile!!
Ah... I'd like to know about the most famous Jason in Japan... He is wearing a mask and living near a lake...
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bunjywunjy · a day ago
So I learned that horses can make enteroliths, which are like rocks, inside their guts. Horse pearls. Any cursed details on that?
HORSES GOT ROCKS?????
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enbyzombies · 20 hours ago
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dude youre making this vivisection really difficult can you just like stay still
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charlesoberonn · a day ago
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Me: Babe, you’re so funny!
My Boyfriend Who Sees All of Time Simultaneously : We have 1429 days before your tragic premature death. You will betray my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you.
Me: Awww, that’s sweet of you!
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neil-gaiman · 20 hours ago
Neil, about Good Omens in the airbase scene. When Satan came everyone was clutching their friends, except Aziraphale who was just ignoring Cowley lying on the ground and suffering pain. Was there any reason for this? this reaction from Aziraphale was probably not what any of us expected.
He didn't ignore him. He did what he had to do to get Crowley to save us all...
Aziraphale is humbled and amazed that they survived. Crowley drops to his knees. He’s in sudden, stabbing pain.
CROWLEY
No. No no no no nono no no no NOOOOO!
AZIRAPHALE
What’s happening? I can feel something...
CROWLEY
They did it. They told his father.
AZIRAPHALE
Satan?
CROWLEY(nods)
And his Satanic father... is not happy...
The tarmac starts to shake and shudder. Everyone is staggering.
NEWT
Perhaps it’s a volcano.
ANATHEMA
There aren’t any volcanoes in England. It’s really angry, whatever it is. I can feel it... it’s getting closer...
A huge judder and they are thrown to the ground...
Pepper and Brian and Wensleydale hold hands. They look at Adam. He reaches out and holds Pepper’s hand.
SHADWELL
What’s happening?
AZIRAPHALE
Well, you can call me an old silly, but it looks like the Devil’s coming. Satan himself.
SHADWELL
That’s the way it is, then?
Shadwell waves the Thundergun. He stands in front of Madame Tracy.
SHADWELL
Anyone who wants to hurt the hoor of Babylon is gonna have to get past me!
MADAME TRACY
(pleased)
Ooh, Mr Shadwell!
Crowley turns to Aziraphale.
CROWLEY
Right. That was that. It was nice knowing you.
AZIRAPHALE
We can’t give up now.
CROWLEY
This is Satan himself. It isn’t about Armageddon. This is personal. We are fucked.
Aziraphale picks up the sword from the ground, and holds it awkwardly, as if it might go off. He’s not threatening Crowley with it, just making his point that he can do dangerous out of character things if he needs to.
AZIRAPHALE
Come up with something, or... Or I’m never going to talk to you again.
Crowley nods. That one hurts. What the hell. Crowley snaps his fingers... and time stops.
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pukicho · a day ago
If you were rich, would you still say “eat the rich”?
Hmm honestly I think I wouldn't have a right to say it after a certain threshold, idk where that threshold is tho, and that threshold is different for everyone - I personally know quite a few families in the +1 million range, they're not any less human for their successes, so I think having a couple of mil isn't too morally repugnant - for me, it's more of a philosophical thing, where, ya know, hoarding most of the worlds' riches for your own personal gain is a fundamentally anti-human approach to existing, and so it's really only scalable to the upper-echelon of rich bitches, those of whom I would never become, because I'd have to morally fuck myself-over in order to garner such heaps of cash in the first place.
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thyrell · 22 hours ago
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i am going to deepfry a bratwurst
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maykitz · a day ago
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oh mein gott friedrich zis girl calls herself a "mom friend" but wont even breastfeed us
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snommelp · a day ago
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"There is no ethical consumption under capitalism" does not mean "all consumption under capitalism is equally unethical"
For example: you could buy your craft supplies from Michaels, who (probably) pays employees minimum wage, which is substantially lower than an ethical wage. Or you could buy your craft supplies from Hobby Lobby, who (probably) pay a wage comparable to Michaels and also engage in the illegal smuggling of ancient artifacts.
idk guys, these seem equally bad to me (/sarcasm)
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chickenkeeping · 18 hours ago
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Sometimes it's okay and valid to have a chicken living in your bathroom because its too hot outside for her frail little chicken body to handle
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