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aria-greenhoodie · 3 years

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My opinions on every Dream smp character (/rp /c! /lh)

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE CREATORS THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THIS IS ALL SAID LIGHTHEARTEDLY!!!

Dream - die.

George - Does he even exist??? I think he just stays asleep in a shroom forest until Dream XD drags him out for “fun time.”

Sapnap - Pet Killer. >:( But is engaged to Karl and Quackity who are both cool so I guess it’s fine.

Callahan - All knowing and terrifying, but fantastic and great.

Sam - What the fuck??? Is??? Going on with this man??? He’s fucked up. I don’t think hes a bad person but he needs someone to tell him to fucking stop, because he has done bad shit, even if I dont think he’s bad, like, what in the fuck. I kinda wanna bite him.

Warden - IM SORRY IM SORRY DONT KILL ME FUCK SHIT PISS BALLS IM SOR

Sam Nook - The best Sam. I’d kill and die for him. irl. /gen. This is not a joke. I love this robot. SO MUCH. Love so muchh. <333

Alyssa - Exists? I think???

Ponk - I don’t know a lot about her but I want to know more and I know they are WONDERFUL AND DIDN’T DESERVE WHAT SAM DID TO HIM, SAM WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PUT IN FUCKING LINE, PONK WAS SO NICE TO YOU EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, WHAT THE FUUUUCK

BBH - Bit fucked up. Not that pleasant.

Tommy - Big Man. Always correct. Don’t argue with me about this, I'll bite you. And he probably will too. He reminds me of me when I was in middle school and because of that I will side with him always.

Tubbo - Awe, what a little lad! Oh, he’s a bit fucked up. O-oh… he’s a LOT fucked up… Still a little lad though! Also pretty gender. Also according to literally every single “WHICH DSMP CHARACTER ARE YOU?” quiz I take I’m him, so that’s cool!

Fundy - I hold you very gently and tenderly but also very far away at arms length just in case.

Punz - Punz

Purpled - Funky fucking alien boy!!! Good builder, really cool, deserved better, I got really sad when Quackity blew up his UFO because it looked fucking sick and if it was mine I would have cried.

Wilbur - Seems very polite, but also maybe a little unhinged…

Ghostbur -pspsppssps sweet man so polite come back to me please pspspspspspspps come here pspspspspspspss yes I would love some blue now come closer pspsppspspspspss

Revivedbur - Sir please do not fuck this up I’m rooting for you because I know you can do great things please do not make me regret this please sir I believe in you please

Schlatt - Drunk bitch. Fuckin died. L.

Skeppy - Wait what even is your lore? You got corrupted by the Egg at some point but did you do anything after that?? Do you even still EXIST????

Eret - King, Queen, Royalty at its finest, you have tried so hard and I love you for it, also you’re violently gender and kinda pretty ngl so I may be biased but stfu you fucking kill it you funky fucking Herobrine ily <333

Jack Manifold - ON THAT JACK MANIFOLD GRIND! THE JACK MANIFOLD GRIND NEVER STOPS!

Nikki - Babe ily you deserved better, I may be rooting for Revivedbur but if you wanna punch that mf in his undead face I fully support you ily ily ily

Quackity - YOU! YOU!!! FUCKING YOU!!! I’M GOING TO VIOLENTLY ADORE YOU!!! YOU ARE SO FUNKY!!! YOU’RE ONE OF THE ONLY CAPITALISTS I WILL ACCEPT!!! FUCKMAN!!! LOVE YOUR WORK ON ALL THOSE WARCRIMES!!! <3333333

Karl Jacobs - Funky Time lad! Also really pretty. And kinda gender, but only a little bit. Those cool drawings of his old skin that the fandom came up with where he's a weird colorful rubber-hose-armed marshmallow human thing are more gender than what he is now, though.

Hbomb - Furry /pos. Seems nice enough.

Technoblade - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! TECHNO NEVER DIES! LOVE ME AN ANARCHIST OLD MAN PIG WHO WILL DESTROY ANYTHING IN HIS PATH! Also Piglin /pos.

Antfrost - Furry /neg. He’s actually fine, but I don't actually have much to say about him.

Philza Minecraft - is quite old, he is married to a woman, which I find interesting. I love him but would also like to punch him, just once. Just one little punch. Nothing super hard, just a little punch. Love ya, Dadza <3

Connor - Sonic Kinnie. I know he has lore but I cannot understand it and only know 1/10 of it so I can't actually say much about him. He seems depressed all the time though, so I feel bad for him.

Captain Puffy - The best Father I have ever seen <3 Also the only semi-fucking-responsible adult??? Like Sam used to be too but then he… yeah… I love her!

Viky - Doesn't exist in cannon I think??

Lazar - Does he exist in cannon either????

Ranboo - YOU!!! You <333 YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! I love you!! You make me a little sad sometimes but also INCREDIBLY happy!! My little hypocrite <3 my little walking contradiction <3 also REALLY gender, VIOLENTLY so. And Enderman /very pos.

Foolish - I like you! I don’t know much about you, but I’m learning more! I like your builds and attitude! Nice man :)

Hannah - I know literally NOTHING about you at all but I want to because you seem so badass and cool holy shit

Slimecicle - FUCKING WEIRD ASS SLUDGE MONSTER FROM THE BEGINING OF TIME???? YES PLEASE!!! SO GENDER!!! SO COOL!!! LOVE!!! LOVE LOV ELVOEKJDENJJW!!!!!!!!!! I love this fucking man <3333333 Filled with bones and meat and not slime at all <333333333

Michael McChill - Dream Stan /neg I don’t know much about this guy, actually, pretty neutral on him.

Michael _Beloved - Nice boy! Very polite! Probably could kill me if he wanted! Good lad!

Michelle - Oh she would whoop my ass. Great and fantastic!

Yogurt - babeyy,,,,,, boi,,,,, come hereee,,,,,, pspspsppspspsspspsp,,,,,,, i love youuu,,,,,,,

Foolish Jr. - Seems energetic and excitable! Good lad!

Finley - Fantastic, wonderful girl!

Shroud - I LOVE YOU. I WILL FIGHT ANY WAR YOU ASK ME TO. I WILL KILL MY FAMILY FOR YOU. SHROUD SUPREMACY. AAAAAAAAAAAA.

Mexican Dream - Eyyyyyy look at he! Look at the he!!! I like he :)))) he’s cool.

Dream XD - Oh so you’re THAT kind of asshole. Love it. 10/10. Also biblically accurate angel inspired designs for this mf??? So gender. Violently gender. Love that shit.

Drista - YOU!!!! ARE!!! SO!!!! COOL!!!! I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR YOU!!!! LET'S BLOW SHIT UP TOGETHER!!!! CHAOS!!!!! ARSON!!!!! YES!!!!!

Mamacita - p, prett y wom an,,,

Mumza Kristin - If anyone doesn't like Mumza I’ll cut their body into fourths and burry the pieces under a Denny’s <3 She’s so poggers.

Friend - Friend! :DDD

#dsmp #dream smp #aria ramblings #im not tagging everyone that would take effort and I am tired #dream smp shitpost #dsmp shitpost #c!dsmp #dsmp opinions #is that a tag?#dsmp opinion is that a tag?#I dunno #Im tired #long post

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mpregstoriesetc · 3 years

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Slime and Punishment - deviantart

Vik’Tor, being an alien and all that, found himself learning new things about Earth every day. Like how it was fine for men to go topless in public but not for women, or that it was inappropriate to talk about your sexual exploits with strangers. Strange. Luckily, due to his meek personality, he managed not to embarrass himself too much.

More to the point, there were so many things from his culture that he took for granted, but humans had no knowledge of! He was the only Torran on Earth, at least as far as he knew: the rest of his tribe generally turned out to be warmongering morons, and they only took interest in visiting planets when they wanted to conquer them. Things were peaceful here, and he’d found a cozy little town that accepted him.

Now he was working odd jobs, mainly to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He was only 29 moon-strides old, after all...he had plenty of time to discover his passions. Today’s job was filling in for a rich family’s gardener. Apparently the man had been struck by a car and flattened like a pancake, and someone needed to take over while the doctors were reinflating him. Vik didn’t mind the work: in fact he quite fancied a good day of honest labor. But, come lunch time, he was positively famished.

He tucked into a double-decker mustard and eggplant sandwich and swiftly downed a concoction of his own creation, lemonade and Bloody Mary mix. Others found his tastes revolting, but he loved finding new flavor combinations. The real star of the show, however, was dessert…

“Pardon me, but what is that you’re eating,” came a soft feminine voice from behind him. “I simply must know, it smells so wonderful!” Vik turned around, locking eyes with a slender young woman with caramel-colored skin. Or perhaps it was a particularly short man. He wasn’t sure which, nor did he know if it even mattered.

“Ah, this?” Vik remembered just in time not to talk with his mouth full, and promptly swallowed. “We call it korrupa, it is a traditional dessert amongst the Ulvions.” He held it up: a shimmering orb of green that seemed to have a life of its own.

“Oh, so that’s what your tribe is called? Fascinating.”

“Well,” said Vik awkwardly. “Not exactly. My people conquered their planet and slaughtered all of their men.”

“Oh.”

Even with his obvious lack of social skills, Vik could tell the conversation was grinding to a painful halt. “Well, the good news is that it is quite easy to get korrupa delivered. Did you know that this town has one of Earth’s only transdimensional portals?”

The short one shrugged. “I’m not surprised. I’ve lived here all my life and I learn something new about this place.” He fidgeted, looking plaintively at the glossy green glob that Vik was devouring. “Do you mind letting me have a sample of your korrupa? I’ll take just a tiny bit, but my chef’s curiosity is just eating me alive! I must have some!”

Vik paused. “Well, Missus, or Mister, or whatever Earth honorific suits you best, I don’t know if you would be suited to trying some...it is quite filling, and you are quite small.”

This earned a little titter from the short one. “I’ll be able to handle it, I assure you. Oh pardon my manners! I haven’t even introduced myself. Camille, no Earth honorifics necessary.” Camille offered one hand out to shake, the other to take.

“I am called Vik’Tor...but you really must consider! It could be ill-suited to your digestive tract! Or perhaps there would be some other unforeseen consequences…!”

Camille stuck his tongue out cutely, reaching out and grabbing the korrupa. Vik realized then how tiny the Earth creature was in comparison to him; his hands were like a child’s in comparison to Vik’s own, hefting up the wobbly substance and bringing it to his tiny little mouth.

The young man moaned softly, his slender lips wrapping around the korrupa and slurping it up eagerly. Within seconds the shimmering green mass—about the size of an Earth coconut—had disappeared down Camille’s gullet. “Oh! Pardon me,” he said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to eat it all...but it was like it had a mind of its own! Hehe. It was remarkable, though! Absolutely delicious.”

Vik looked noticeably crestfallen at the loss of his dessert but didn’t bring it up. However, something that Camille had said sparked a realization inside him. “Oh, you did not know? Korrupa is a sentient creature, it would be quite accurate to say that it does indeed have a mind of its own. Were you not aware of this?”

Camille’s cheeks went noticeably green at this. “Oh dear. Did I just devour an alien without knowing?”

“Fear not,” said Vik, waving his hands quickly. “They are not harmed by this. In fact, they often reproduce inside warm, damp enclosed spaces. Us Torrans have rather dry insides, so we are not affected much. But I do not know about Earth creatures...”

Said Earth creature went even greener. “Oh dear...oh dear indeed.” His cheeks bulged slightly, as if about to gag. “I might have made a rather costly mistake…” But now Vik saw a truly bizarre sight: Camille’s face starting to glow. Not from the skin directly, but almost beneath it somehow. Most prominent were his cheeks—a bright lime green—which had really begun to puff up now. His lips, starting to run out of room on his face, began squashing into an askew O shape, the tiny opening revealing a growing colony of korrupa inside his mouth.

His belly began harboring the telltale green glimmer of his cheeks, the boy’s shirt quickly becoming near-translucent as the slime found a larger reservoir to reside in. Camille’s midriff, previously so thin as almost to be famished, started to bloat rapidly. Although not quite resembling pregnancy, his stomach was now so round and fertile as to immediately invite the comparison.

Camille gave a throttled moan, the korrupa inside his mouth jiggling as words tried in vain to escape. He gave Vik a desperate look, his hands unsure whether to cradle his burgeoning belly or try and unload the cargo inside his mouth. After a slight hesitation, they chose the latter. But as his fingers tried to pry apart his lips, a thick strand of the sentient goo snaked out and slapped away his hands.

“Korrupa do not like the breeding process to be interrupted,” said Vik weakly. “Although they do have a vested interest in keeping their host alive, so you will not have to worry about bursting or suffocating.” Small solace to Camille, who was now bent over with the weight of his ballooning belly.

His shirt, now so tight and see-through as to be mistaken for plastic wrap, was quickly starting to lose structural integrity. The only factor impeding the growth of his gut was Camille’s thin leather belt, now drawing taut and threatening to bisect his torso. The boy lurched forward, his hair falling over his face; if he could talk, it would undoubtedly be a deep moan of discomfort. Momentarily impeded by the belt, the korrupa moved further south to Camille’s rump, making it expand in much a similar fashion.

“I am aware it is rude to say ‘I told you so,’ but I did try and warn you of possible side effects,” mumbled Vik, avoiding eye contact and twiddling all four of his thumbs. “Had I known this would happen, I might have been more cautionary in my advice.” It brought him no pleasure to see this Earth creature inflate like a balloon, especially considering that korrupa could incubate for quite a while depending on compatibility with its host. Should he try and contact other family members? He knew they’d be around soon; would it look worse if he left Camille? Or if he just stayed there passively? There wasn’t much he could do at this point anyway.

Ping! The belt popped off, sending Camille’s belly wobbling like a bowl full of jelly. It might be mistaken for jelly at any rate: glossy, jiggling jelly that had an unearthly shine to it. It was a near perfect orb of green, only dimpled by his sunken-in navel, hanging off his torso rather awkwardly. It had become so big and distended by this point that it hardly seemed like an actual part of the young man, like a second-rate prosthetic. But there it was in both sets of his cheeks too, drawing his skin tight as more and more goo forced itself inside him. His face had become comically wide, two coconut-sized mounds of glistening green alternatively pulling his lips together and apart as they bounced softly. His behind was starting to catch up, though, his buttocks blimping up and making short work of his shorts.

Camille was short, even for a human, but nonetheless it was a surprise to see his tummy touch the ground. It was certainly less of a strain on his body now that gravity had done its work, but nonetheless he wasn’t exactly happy he’d gotten this big. His rear had already broken free from his shorts; but since Camille’s crotch was awkwardly mashed against his underbelly, his dignity was somewhat preserved. Were things slowing down? He was so enormous now that it was hard to tell.

Vik, having inwardly cursed himself for his inaction, decided to finally take off his upper garment and lay it across the boy’s bare butt. However, one last growth spurt caused the fabric to suck inwards, instantly getting lost inside the cleft of Camille’s ass cheeks. Well, he had tried. The young man could only sit there helplessly, the weight of his posterior threatening to pull him backwards, only anchored by his much larger stomach. Vik didn’t know every detail of domicile etiquette, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t a good idea to be standing near-naked in your backyard.

“Well...I should probably get back to work,” said the alien awkwardly, slowly shuffling away. “I hear your family has a dinner party tonight...it would certainly be embarrassing if the garden was only half-finished.”

And, seemingly unaware of the supreme irony of that statement, went back to planting the petunias. Maybe Camille would share some korrupa once he was done breeding it...

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