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rvnico · 4 years

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i’m bringing u moody keyboardist boi, nico. His bio is here and once i get my art history homework turned in i’ll work on some connections for him.

He is mean!!! i apologize for this, he’s harsh on both himself and harsh towards other’s becuase he’s a dick w/ low self esteem.

He thinks!! he is unloveable!! doesn’t see himself finding true romance ever in his life; despite kind of being a hopeless romantic on the dl

He’s closest to his bandmates, loves them like they’re family. If anyone knows him and his thoughts best it’s them.

He definitely is a “music saved my life.” kind of guy

He switched smoking cigarettes to vaping, but he still smokes weed on the dl pls give him smoking buddies.

He’s a late sleeper and can sleep until 1pm if no one wakes him up.

He’s a really good cook!! his parents left him alone so he’s basically had to parent himself, he learned cooking through watching YouTube tutorials

He’s a novel reader and enjoys sci-fi and fantasy shows, games and books.

please don’t tell him u have snacks... he will eat them all

He’s honestly really messy, he goes off on his own impulse and doesn’t always think of how his words and actions may affect others. He doesn’t actively go out and mean to hurt people, but he does sometimes without intending to and it just further fuels his own idea of being a genuine piece of shit that no one can love.

He used to write songs and post covers with his ex girlfriend, but then she cheated on him, he’s deleted the videos and hopes they won’t surface bc he wanted to marry her... smh

if you can complain about it, he will.

loves little kids and would DIE to hold them.

#rivalzintro #is this good enough i'm a mess and tired

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thesnakesaid · 5 years

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Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth #7: A romance set in the future

New Veronica Roth!! I’ve been looking forward to reading these books ever since she announced that they were coming out, but I can’t say I wasn’t nervous about the idea that I might not like them. My claim to fame with regards to Veronica Roth is that I wrote my undergraduate thesis on the Divergent series, so I’ve definitely spent a ton of time absolutely poring over them in an academic way, and that came out of the fact that I really thought that Divergent had one of the most nuanced and sophisticated messages I’d ever seen in young adult literature.

Carve the Mark doesn’t reach those highs for me when it comes to its themes, but the good news is that I really like this book and it definitely did not disappoint me like I feared it might. (To be clear, this was not because I was expecting it to be bad, but because I was hypersensitive to how sad I would be if it was bad given how it would force me to stop hero worshipping Veronica Roth in my own head).

Anyway.

I’ve been stuck for two days trying to write a summary of the plot of this book. It’s not convoluted or confusing, certainly easy to understand as you read it, but just complicated and hard to retell without retelling all the worldbuilding details as you go. I wrote and rewrote the summary and then ended up deleting all of it because to me, this book is not special becuase of its plot, but because of its characters.

Enter Cyra and Akos.

Cyra Noavek is the sister of the leader of Shotet, one of the two ethnic groups vying for power and legitimacy on the planet they live on. In addition to being part of Shotet’s royal family, she possesses the power to inflict pain upon whoever she touches, and as such, she serves as her brother’s greatest weapon in his war against his enemies. The sword that is Cyra, however, is double-edged: while she can inflict pain on people at will, she harbors the pain within herself when not touching anyone else, suffering constantly for her “gift.”

Akos Kereseth is the son of one of the oracles of Thuvhe, the other ethnic group living alongside the Shotet that is actually recognized as the legitimate governors of the planet by the intergalactic assembly of which they are a part. He lives a life of peace and prosperity until he is kidnapped by Shotet soldiers along with his brother in their attempt to seize power from the Thuvhesits. His brother - an oracle as well - is desired by the Noavek family so they can use his visions of the future to ensure that a future of their choosing comes to pass. Akos is taken as well because his power is that he can negate the powers of others with his touch, thus enabling him to serve as a painkiller for Cyra when she is not performing her duties as Shotet’s sometimes-executioner.

The two characters meet to begin a sweet - if predictable - love story, but their combination of powers and personalities has much more of an impact than merely making them into compatible lovers. As they get to know each other better, they come to understand themselves in a more nuanced way, developing a really important theme that in my opinion boils down to three basic ideas:

People are multifaceted. Both good and bad exists inside all of us, and any fair judgment of a person must bear this truth in mind.

People must apply this logic to themselves as well as others. In other words, our self-esteem (or lack thereof) cannot revolve entirely around our mistakes, because we are more than that.

Even if we do make mistakes or develop undesirable personality traits, it is never too late to change for the better.

This is what I love about this book and about Veronica Roth’s writing in general: she does a really good job of crafting a message that is both important to the personal development of teenagers and sufficiently nuanced to show that she clearly believes in the ability of teenagers to digest complicated things. This is what separates good YA lit from bad YA lit in my opinion, and I’m really excited to see that Roth’s magic is not limited just to Divergent.

November 19, 2018

#carve the mark #veronica roth

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x-rambles · 4 years

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08/13/2020 @ 11:34 PM

Gratitude:

1. My apartment: It's super cute, and having my own is great

2. I have my own full time job! I'm a grown woman!

3. I am changing my life so much, I feel hopeful!

Okay...I really need to work through journalling more regularly. I'm honestly embarrassed...

BUT, I cannot believe the life I'm living right now. First of all, I GOT CONTACTS. Not only is this huge becuase I LOOK DIFFERENT. I really stepped into my power. I accepted the narrative that "I'm sensitive about my eyes" "I could never touch my eyes" and other excuses about why I kept wearing glasses! And what's funny is....I love myself more with contacts than glasses! HA! If I have made this MONUMENTAL change in my identity, WHAT ELSE CAN I DO??? I'm so proud! It's funny it's only been maybe two weeks since I've started wearing contacts so I do feel very normal about it. I was extremely proud for the first 3ish days! Now it's normal, but a HUGE accomplishment!! I literally told myself, I'm no longer going to accept this narrative. I am going to change. I am going to do this. And I committed to it.

This entry is not only about contacts...it's about me. I am committed to changing my life. It's difficult because it's something huge to do!! I liked to do easy things, and never take risks because I was afraid of failure. That is CHANGING. I am slowly accepting that I have to just DO IT. I dont know what's going on with me! Maybe it's the phenomenon I read about in my book, your twenties really are LIFE CHANGING.

My life has never changed this rapidly in my entire life. Going away to college didn't even feel this different! With that said, I've struggled. Dating has been difficult. I am working on being honest about my standards and my wants. With that said, I have to change a lot of other things! I have to focus on my goals, and become less emotional! I have to follow the advice I've been reading. But, I am making progress!! I mean, I never thought I'd attract so many guys (ya know,[ previous] low self esteem) And, guys are following my standards! It's a whirlwind! I knew ABM was a genius, it's just wild to see these things in real time!! But again, I have to focus on following her standards, seeing things as they are, and focusing on my goals rather than emotions.

I will be honest and say I have this fear of being forever alone ): Its something I really have to work on! I do not want to approach life from a place of lack! I have to approach life from a place of faith. My life has been divinely arranged. I will acheive everything that I am meant to.

I feel my focus on relationships has me a bit lost because emotionally I am not feeling well. I feel anxious, afraid, and just very INTENSE emotions. I know this isn't right! I must be doing something wrong. It may be that I shouldn't be dating in this moment. I do feel it's odd/sad that guys express interest then disappear in short amounts of time?? I don't understand what that's about!

I am not used to failure (as someone who only did easy things) So taking risks by trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone is NEW. I have to accept the growing pains, and learn from the experience and keep pushing!! With that said, I also think I should try to center myself a bit more before continuing to date. I think I have a lot of the practices together, I know what standards to hold, I know what to say, etc. I just am not CLEAR ENOUGH about what I want, and it's messing things up!!

If I'm being honest, I may have started dating because of my fear of being alone. That fear, and coming from a place of lack and a place of anxiety is not healthy. I'm deciding if I should delete tinder to do more internal work of centering myself and fleshing out my goals. Focusing on goals usually helps to calm me down.

Although dating has been odd and a bit disappointing, therre is so much in my young adulthood to celebrate! I'm doing so many things I've only ever dreamed of. I am so thankful. I do have, SUCH A LONG WAY to go. I feel there's a lot of pressure in me being honest with myself and my wants Cont

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