#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it

[pierregaslays]

:(

#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it #i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it #like A MONTH #it should not be happening this long after #and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that #but it’s not fair #it’s never gonna be fair #why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this #and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me #and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am #IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!? #i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama #i literally want 2 die #tw death #i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world #did i not love her enough #should i have been better to get #*her #idk i just want her to know i adored her #and i need to hear her voice and get a hug #one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that #tw grief #i am never getting over losing her #please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk . #i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭 #i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy