#i am never getting over losing her

[pierregaslays]

:(

#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it #i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it #like A MONTH #it should not be happening this long after #and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that #but it’s not fair #it’s never gonna be fair #why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this #and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me #and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am #IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!? #i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama #i literally want 2 die #tw death #i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world #did i not love her enough #should i have been better to get #*her #idk i just want her to know i adored her #and i need to hear her voice and get a hug #one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that #tw grief #i am never getting over losing her #please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk . #i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭 #i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy

[spotlightstudios]

Wizard 101: Hey kid, you just got pulled into Wizard School, and it looks like you're ready to start. Go down that path and someone will teach you to fight. Oh shit, that's Malistare, uhhhh, *one minor battle later* Good job kid. Go and do some little quests and beat up some fairies, you're doing great! :)

Pirate 101: You're in jail. Pirates are breaking you out of jail! They're... asking about your trauma. You're a pirate, an orphan, the son of a whore and a scotsman, you were raised by another group of people, now you're pulling a jail break and helping other prisoners escape! A uhhh, a guy threatens to murder you. He's the one who locked you up. The pirate guy almost dies and you have to drive his ship??? *one stressful sail later* Hey kid, go beat up this guy who stole from me. I'm gonna cheat and scam you, btw, just so you know. :)

#light's spot #W101 #P101 #pirate101 #wizard101 #I'm biased because I'm a Wizard thru and thru #but I played Pirate yesterday and am losing my mind over the shift of tone #in w101 it's like sure I'm the hero of the spiral but it's a story of training and growth and friendship #in p101 it's like I'm a wanted criminal yet I don't have a ship or a name for myself nor a crew and this Armada guy really wants to murder #me specifically??? #anyways #Silent Ryan Ironside is my mute pirate and Subodai will forever be my first mate because we're bound by mutual imprisonment and escape #<- She's a Swashbuckler and was raised in Grizzleheim btw. her parents were killed in a mutiny #pretty sure she became a mute after her parents were killed and the Grizzleheim bears gave her the name “Silent” and she took the lastname #of “Ironside” while she was in their care because she'd shoulder her way into battle #fun shift of pace from Natalie BlueFlower who was just like #huh I'm an ice wizard now- HOLY SHIT I'M GETTING MAGICKED AT- #and then never stopped being magicked at lmao

[miniagula]

atm i'm sick over charlie hauling al into a hug after he's helped her figure out the answer to something monumental, and luci can see the easy implicit trusting way she leans into him

#and like. we know he could never lose her; charlie loves w all her heart and then some #but for one terrible second he WONDERS #bc he wasn't there. #and he loves charlie ofc‚ it goes without saying‚ but he /wasn't there/ #and now she's sinking into the arms of an overlord w a smile on her face like it's all she ever wanted #truth be told i'm also sick abt how in the process of isolating charlie from her family she becomes his soft spot #& he ends up personally offended over luci's absence on her behalf #yes folks i am STILL plagued by the-bridge-scene-from-arcane-but-charlastor #that poem by Ellen bass: and life will never be the same. even when you get her back. hell leaves it's mark. #LIKE. I WISH CHARLIE'S HEARTACHE W HER DAD HAD MORE ROOM TO BREATHE #i wish a LOT more shit had room to breathe #charlastor

[revvethasmythh]

actually crazy how much I'm enjoying the heroic durge path thus far. like it's actually a shame I always hear people talk about durge as something they save for an evil run because if you are an angst enjoyer, this is simply one of the finest vintages I've had in a while. like, the limitless internal conflict, not knowing who you are, not knowing if you want to know who you were, trying to be a good person but fearing you never can be. Something is forcing you to do terrible things and you can't control it, so where does that end? is your determination to be better than your impulses stronger than the monster inside of you? what happens if you lose control and just keep falling? that's SEXY. that's fucking catnip for me personally, I'm literally living my best life rn

#I multiclassed as a cleric of tymora (because I love her) but also because: goddess of gamblers #if you know you can kill in your sleep every night is a gamble #what will happen when I close my eyes? will everyone still be alive when I wake up? #every time you put a weapon in your hand it's a gamble #will I kill the enemy? or will I lose control and harm an ally? #flip the coin. find out #the shadow cursed lands are also like. horrifyingly fantastic in general if you are an angst enjoyer (so far) #the stupid ambush where the enemies separate everyone in the party? INSANE. LOVED IT. everyone almost DIED. it was FANTASTIC #I was never more glad that 3/4 of my party members are able to cast misty step #and even THEN it was a struggle to get them able to cast! #delightful. still not over it. great fight no notes #I am having a GREAT time can you tell #rosie plays video games poorly #squad without the s

[airborneice]

ok this is very silly but i was watching a Hilda ep just now bc season 3 hype, letting the credits roll, and i spotted a ...familiar??? looking name in the credits?? anyway so this is how i find out one of the animators I work with has worked on hilda the series and i've just been unaware of that THIS WHOLE TIME

#im losing my MIND over here #i already know im surrounded by insanely talented ppl at this job but this person is like a celebrity to me. holy shit #she helped make the thing that gave me brainrot for 5 years how am i supposed to be normal abt that #ive never talked to her irl bc she's remote but she's been nice enough to finish some of my shots #for me when i've gotten too busy and fallen behind #huh. technically i've collaborated with someone from hilda isn't that cool #sorry for being insane but i need to get this out of my system before i go back to work

[3lostyears]

i can’t gif but the way the doctor literally starts SHIELDING rose with his body (and frankly everyone else’s body he literally pushes her in the middle of the crowd) is making me feral

#this entire sequence actually #he’s like i can’t save any of these people but if there is one thing i’m gonna do #it’s get rose out alive #like even before they break into the house he comes downstairs #with one intention and one concern and it is rose #and then he never lets go of her hand #until pete turns up and like…we don’t have time to unpack All of That #but in an AU where rose isn’t so emotional over her parents and mickey #and they are already shagging. the doctor is ripping that waitress outfit off with his teeth when they’re back in the tardis #and whispering that he can’t lose her #i am just saying #these episodes are the actual turning point in ten's arc to me #the most human doctor repressing his emotions going up against humans with no emotions #and saying fuck it i choose PAIN i choose GRIEF. that is his turning point #that's why idiot's lantern is a straight up date and he loses it when she's not safe #but that is another post lol my bad #timepetals #doctor who #tenrose

[littleflowerfaerie]

I know I’m a week late I’m sorryyyy I genuinely thought I already posted this,

BUT.

This episode gives me LIFE.

Look at this.

Look at Mollie full on laughing at Hatenna mimicking Chansey, look at her finding the baby Pokémon cute, look at how happy she is! I know you’re trying to pretend you’re not a Nurse Joy but the cracks are showing.

And THEN, as if that weren’t enough, this happens.

I’M??? Mollie hugging Liko. Mollie, who’s usually calm, collected, and never gives a fuck, outright yelling Liko’s name in relief and joy and running to hug her so tightly she accidentally hurts her?

The way I fucking squealed out loud when I saw this y’all, this is the most precious thing I’ve ever seen in my LIFE, look at her, she loves this kid so much and it melted my heart like you would not BELIEVE.

And THEN they blessed us again with THIS SMILE.

Like I’m not trying to be dramatic or anything but I would protect this smile with my life.

I have such a weakness for characters who don’t usually show much emotion getting emotional and this episode gave me EVERYTHING. I need more episodes with Mollie openly showing how much she cares about everyone else because she DOES, she loves them all SO GODDAMN MUCH, and she deserves to show it.

#pokémon #pokémon horizons #pokémon mollie #listen #this is precious #i am absolutely losing my mind #HER SMILE #never getting over this #she loves her crew #she loves them all so damn much

[girlwiththegreenhat]

any show finale that makes me cry like 4 times is a good finale in my book

#toh #the owl house #toh spoilers #liz blogs #look out i am about to put spoilers in the tags #leave now #ok #WAILS INCOMPREHENSIBLY ABOUT FLAPJACK'S GRAVE AT THE END #THANK YOU FOR FINDING ME!!!! SHUT UP!!!!! SHUT UP AAAAAAAA #AND HIS NEW PALISMAN IS A BLUEJAY I FUCKIGN KNEW IT..... #im glad he kept up with the bird themeing.... #i'm very happy belos's death was fucking undignified. thats exactly what he deserves #whining and bitching and then getting his gooey melty remains stomped out to death. fuck you old man fuck you old man f #the titans between realm design is fuckin Excellent. that is a man i can trust. last words to his son were a pun. respect #and all the time skip designs at the end... nobody talk 2 me. amity sidecut. lilith keeping her orange hair and her cool ass #adventurey outfit. gus has dreads now. hunters flapjack tattoo. help #im sad its over because there was totally room for that full 3rd and 4th season #disney i will never pay to watch any of your content ever again <3 suck my ass hope u lose billions for this blunder

[beautifel]

i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has. #the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

[drev-the-procrastinator]

love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too

#i had been thinking about moving to a smaller one too. but now she's ordering me to do that #and expects me to move back home #when my university and all of my two friends are in the city. #and i have TWO WEEKS to live here if she wants me to move before summer because i have to go back home anyway in early may #for my summer job. #like sure i wouldve understood like a hey. my child. your financial situation is oretty tough so i have some suggestions that could help #but she was like okay here's whay you do: option a) [something i couldnt do before fall] b) find a cheaper apartment and live in two weeks #c) move home for good and commute over an hour any day you have university stuff to do and also essentially lose access to your #friends and all and any independence you have managed to cobble together so i can treat you like a child and yeall at you #the last part wasnt included but it's what she does anyways so i assume it's part of the deal #then i would have to commute or drive an hour any time i wanted to see either of my friends. after every summer im already #tired and desperate to come back to my apartment to get to be on my own. and now she's saying i have to never do that again #and here's the fuckin thing. her husband is planning on fixing my car. my mom pays my phone bill. i know what a loser i am whatever. #she actually owns my dogs and my childhood home. i cannot. piss her ofd too much. because then i'll lose all of those #phone. whatever i can get a new one. car. slightly more heartbrwakin but like i still own it. but the house? #my dogs?? i think i would rather die atm if im being honest #so what the fuck am i supposed to do. huh. #maybe i should just walk into the sea foe good i feel like that would just so neatly solve all of my problems

[skunkg1rll]

im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.

#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w #so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me #he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine #nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am #nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me #that made me very sad nd hurt nd like #he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him #bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions #i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it #nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is #i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from #instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed #so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations #but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that #however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him #maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend #i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part #if imginna get over these feelings #i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you #then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media #then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him #but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now #my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop #since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it #but i have no idea how to stop #god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??

[dangoulains-devotion]

thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i

#(sobbing and crying and snotting everywhere) AERITH GAVE HER SOMEONE TO CONFIDE IN ON SUCH A TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY #SOMEONE SHE COULD BE AS CLOSE TO FULLY RELAXED AS POSSIBLE #SOMEONE TO GOSSIP WITH OR SHARE HER CONCERNS OR JUST. BE A NORMAL GIRL WITH #YUFFIE'S THERE BUT SHE'S JUST A KID AND TIFA WOULD NEVER WANT TO HARM THE AIR OF CAREFREE CHILDISHNESS SHE MANAGES TO MAINTAIN EVEN IF #ITS BECAUSE YUFFIE IS HIDING THINGS THAT ARE CRUSHING HER #but poor tifa . gentle tifa. is now left to regret. to blame herself. #she has barret who acts like a father figure to her sure - but despite how much she cares about him and values her frienship with him #he's not aerith. he's not someone she can just gossip about first loves with. not someone she can fully Relate to. if you get what i mean #she is left to trace back the thread of how poor aerith got caught in this mess #she was the one to ask aerith to save marlene. but how did they get there? aerith refused to let cloud be a bystander in wall market #how did that happen? she made a risky choice that put her in a position where their paths crossed. why? because cloud was briefly lost #during the bombing mission. why did the bombing mission happen? she couldn't stop it. ETC ETC #NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT... BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO DRAG INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS AT ANY SINGLE POINT #AND NOW SOMEONE WHO QUICKLY BECAME A CLOSE FRIEND IS GONE oh lord my heart #all of this added onto the things like how alone she was in nibelheim... it was just her and her dad for some years after the boys all left #and then the Incident happens and she loses that last person she had... and to an extent another she didn't even know was right there(cloud #god i could talk about her and how she has suffered more than jesus for ages (happy easter. lmao) #FF7 Rebirth spoilers #just in case?? for anyone who's only playing the remakes i guess. since this was basically already there the remakes just elaborate on it #i think about 'we found you!' 'i guess you did!' SO OFTEN #these two girls mean the world to me and i will not let you reduce them to love interest rivals #when tifa ran over to aerith's body i think everyone in the world heard my heart shattering into dust #these thoughts are a bit disjointed and don't articulate well what i mean but god. god. i am thinking about her today

[beegswaz]

I MISSED BUG. BEING CORRECT ABOUT WHEATLEY..???? WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL.

#HES NOT SHY!!!!! AWKWARDNESS DOES NOT EQUAL SHYNESS!!!!!!!! #BITCH NEVER SHUTS UP HE JUST DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CARRY HIMSELF IN CONVERSATIONS AND JUST OVER EXPLAINS SHIT #I AM SO SICK OF SHY LITTLE GUY WHEATLEY HES A MILDLY NERVOUS SHITHEAD WHO GETS CAUGHT ON THESE STUPID ASS LITTLE DETAILS #AND WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM UNTIL HES DOES TALKING OR SOMEONE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP! #can i Also just say i Hate like. stupidly Tall skin And bones blonde White guy Wheatley #just For a moment. #its A shit design i dont. Why does it. ugh #also Proud wheatley isnt The intelligence dampening Sphere fan #ok. ok ill Be normal now. #but Yeah not only has he Shown the capacity to Come up with Actually decent ideas but Also glados is The smartest thing in Aperture. #and she is So disconnected from the Attributes that can make Someone human (empathy Curiosity Morality etc etc) because Of not only the #events of Portal 1 but Also because of The chassis chamber (glados vs PotatOS. shes Still snarky but is Actually more willing to Be #reasonable blah Blah blah) that when Faced with an Entity that DOES have those Traits #she immediately Deems them as less Intelligent regardless of How smart they Actually are #now this is NOT to Say she cannot feel those emotions #but After losing the Cores attached to Her shes become very Disconnected from Those emotions and Appears uncaring And cold because of it #she Appears more like A machine than A person #and Theres a lot of Character quirks in Wheatley that make him Much more human-like Than machine (even in Chassis!!) #i Could also go On a rant about Why chassiswheatley Becoming suddenly Evil actually Makes sense according to A scientific study but #i Dont think you guys wanna hear That #nor Do you wanna hear my Machiavellian Bach analysis and How its so thematically Correct with the Story while still being true To wheatley #SORRY ILL BE.SANE NOW.

[misterradio]

its fun* playin bloodborne and connecting it to a dream i had that i was playing bloodborne (without knowing hardly anything about it) and seeing the similarities

*playing bloodborne is otherwise very unfun

#WHY IS THERE SO MUCH REPLAYING THE SAME DAMN PLACES #im never gonna get out of central yarnham i swearrrrrrr #personal #original nonsense #its soooo much 1) die 2) try and recover ur blood points where they dropped 3) die again 4) repeat. #SO. MUCH. and i got to father gasciogne and i thought he was gona be a twist villain #but he actually wasnt he just immediately tries killing u. #i also saw eileen but i onlg ever found her once now i forget where she is lol. #ummmm i also talked go gilbert and theres two people in the dream that i can talk to. #they were nice yay. #im like. enjoying it? but its SO much replaying the same part over and over which is NOT an aspect i expected or appreicate. #especially bc you die and lose all ur spending points like wtf. that SUCKS!! #this is a game ive wanted to play for a long time so i am glad im getting a chance to play it WAHOO ^^__^^

[lanayrutower]

i'm about to throw hands with this yt poll.

this is the zelda version of that twitter butch post to me.

#the best zeldas arent even here!!! if og 'i was like 8 y/o when i SHATTERED the triforce and hid it ALONE in a monster infested land' zelda #and st 'the only one with a character arc u see play in real time & goes from i'll wait here to i will STAB malladus with my own 2 hands #and alone if i have to' zelda were here they'd obliterate the competition. maybe not in votes but just in terms of correctness #BUT EVEN IN THIS CASE. ur not voting for ms. 'i saw my family home and kingdom be systematically destroyed over the course of 7 years & #stood back up said no & changed my ENTIRE self to try to save everyone largely on my own for 7! years! as a child!! only to at the end of #it all be the only person who can truly empathise with the hero who had his childhood stolen from him and return it even though i will #never have mine again'???????????? #or even ms. 'i was normal & happy & loved until i wasnt and i learnt i was the orchestrator of my own and everyone else's misery because im #not even myself & im so much bigger yet lesser than who i thought i was and if i cannot be divine then i will be less than worthless i will #be a blight who couldnt execute the plan i had tossed everyone into and they will have lived in my lie and died for nothing so i will be #divine even if that means sealing myself away for an eternity. even if i will never know happiness the way i did again'???????? #i cant say anything about twipri. i barely remember her bc i watched that playthrough ages ago and she was barely in the game idk what ur #voting for #but botw???????? /BOTW/????????????????? #girl wasnt even the best princess in her own game and she only had one other competitor smh #(<-THAT'S A JOKE. THAT'S A JOKE. I AM JOKING.) #this whole thing is half a joke. i love botw zelda (dont look at me like that. i do) and i get why she's winning but like. come on. that's #way too big of a divide. how are oot and skysw losing that much. botw zelda's voice alone should have cost her half her votes #WKSHDKSDHKKA #anyway this whole thing is for funsies so dont be weird on my post ok <3? ive had a shit three days and if being fake mad at a silky video #game poll makes me laugh then that's fair ok? and if you're weird i have the license to explode you with my mind and curse your family for #3 generations ok <333? #freya talks loz

[thebirdandhersong]

sometimes it is weirdly cathartic to watch a woman go insane on the screen/page/stage. I get that. Expression of our negative emotions so openly and unashamedly portrayed, which we are not allowed to/ought not to/were raised not to express in such a way in public or whatever. It can feel like some sort of release to see that. However. Watching Alina go from punching Nikolai in the face for lying to her to straight up murdering a crazy lady high on magical people drugs with the very same power that the Darkling used was so disconcerting that I leaned away from the screen.

#some of y'all are pumping your fists and going YEAH ALINA CORRUPTION ARC LET'S GO #not i. i am sitting here in the corner with people waving smelling salts over me. i am groaning and half conscious #the POINT OF HER CHARACTER ARC in the end is to KEEP being hope for the future???? like?????? #yes yes controversy about her losing her powers. BUT. her powers are given to others. it's like a big candle giving its light to little can #candles. they can HELP with dispelling the dark and with making the world a brighter and better place. #and she gets to be hope and light on a local level by opening an orphanage and loving unwanted children #with the kind of care and thought and love that she and mal were never given?? like??? she breaks the cycle of violence and cruelty #and her legacy is a legacy of love???? #anyway. not a fan of corruption arc alina. don't want to see it don't care for it also on another point i also don't care for sturmhond mal #who's going out into the world to find himself. like. no thanks #songbird again