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#so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me
skunkg1rll · 17 days
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im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.
#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w#so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me#he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine#nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am#nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me#that made me very sad nd hurt nd like#he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him#bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions#i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it#nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is#i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from#instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed#so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations#but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that#however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him#maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend#i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part#if imginna get over these feelings#i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you#then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media#then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him#but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now#my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop#since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it#but i have no idea how to stop#god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??
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ryllen · 5 months
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#mtas#my time at sandrock#mtas wei#mtas builder#fanart#i found my true love target ; v ;#the smiling type is the ones that truly snatch my heart#they bring me the utmost joy#as much ironic it is unsuur makes me unsure of the rest of the stage after confession#i just thought i marry him in case the builder parents come and there would be some kind of scene over it like in portia#till the very last minute my heart was somehow still half in about it#tho in the game unsuur is read very close as 'unsure' i actually pronounce it differently bcs it's close to something in my language#unsur : means element; i thought that's nice bcs it feels closely to rock related thing#https://translate.google.com/?sl=id&tl=en&text=unsur&op=translate#if anyone even interest the slightest on how it sounds when pronounced by me here's the google translate link#but yea i'm dying that it is literally being pronounced 'unsure'#pls help him he just needs to be given a chance to command so he can learn to do independent thinking from experience#like yeah probably there would be lots of mistake at first#but u're like a mom justice who decides everything for the child so when u ask the child they just be like don't know ask mom fshdshd#he needs to be put out there#or had that been done justice if so i am sorry ; v ;#but seriously i'm dying when i kept adventuring with justice and logan and unsuur was just told to wait like a puppy fhsdh#he needs to be taught how to decide things by himself seriously#it's honestly hard to write unsuur's character#like no matter how u tried somehow it doesn't feel as close as funny or as serious deadpan like the original#wei here is like a piece of white paper i can scribble whatever i want#it's unexpected#but i ended up liking wei
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i only just found your au and i need everyone to have a happy ending so badly im gonna cry ;-; sally is gonna be so freakin upset when she wakes up for real and sees she decimated barnaby.
oh, Barnaby already has his arm stitched back on when she wakes up! and really, even if he didn't, that'd be the Least of her worries. she wakes up into a Real nightmare - partially of her (unintentional) making
#happy endings... well... yes and no. depends on what act you look at#act one? no! actually things get So Much Worse in an entirely festive new way!#act two? eh! sorta! its more bittersweet than anything#act three and four blend into each other so much that three doesn't have an 'ending'#but the final act - act four... well. who's to say! im still workshopping what i want to happen#but i do know it's still gonna have at Least a bittersweet tinge to it#wh lights out au#rambles from the bog#there are consequences and not everyone Makes It. i dont like stories where everything wraps up perfectly fine#even if it hurts! i like it when things hurt in a good way. those stories where the ending is overall positive#but Enough Happened that its just... its an ache. looking at where someone used to be. you know?#my favorite shows and books and fics have ended with me smiling while sobbing bc it yes it Hurts but it was So Fucking Good#and while i wouldnt be able to handle rewatching/rereading due to Emotional Damage...#i think of them fondly and often and theyre Important to me#perfectly happy endings just rub me wrong. it always feels like there's something Missing despite it all being idyllic#i cant let my own stories - original or aus or whatever - have that kind of end#so if thats what people are hoping for! you've come to the wrong person and the wrong au!#i like to be kind but that rarely extends to my creative works!#i like it messy and painful and bittersweet and i like to be Ruthless with my creations with no compromise#sometimes characters need to fight. or leave. or die. or make serious mistakes. etc.#but anyway! anyway....#i will say that there isn't a happy ending for Everyone. and for others it's... complicated. again - bittersweet
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hamartia-grander · 2 months
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Going back into my cave after this but Wyllstarion x The Princess Diaries au. Wyll as Mia, Astarion as Nicholas, Tav as Andrew. You understand.
#wyllstarion#My sister made me watch this with her on her bday and I could only think “omg like wyllstarion” the entire time#Wyll having to find himself a spouse in order to rule bc of some dumb old baldur's gate tradition#His father had to marry his mother to rule but she died in childbirth and his father ruled the rest of the time alone#Wyll was cast out for the same reasons as in Bg3 but instead of him returning to save his father his father realises his mistakes first#Cause Wyll deserves it#Lady Tav is the most eligible royal for Wyll to wed because she's the duchess of Waterdeep or something#And they were friends#But Wyll loves Astarion#Obviously I'm spinning this like within the Bg3 universe not a modern au or anything so some things are different#Holy shit what if ulder ravengard had a boyfriend a man he was in love with but couldn't ever be with. For fun. Like queen clarisse#Idk who it would be but wouldn't that be funny#WAIT what if instead of a dumb baldur's gate tradition demanding that Wyll marries it's actually because#His pact with Mizora requires that he have a “level headed” spouse to “protect him from the devil's influence”#Guys I'm a genius#And no one wants Astarion to be Wyll's lover bc Astarion is a vampire spawn and they especially don't trust him#Astarion romances Wyll on the order of Cazador bc Cazador wants control of baldur's gate & astarion is the perfect candidate to seduce Wyll#But then Astarion falls in love with Wyll#I just want a scene with Lady Tav and Wyll discussing their marriage after Wyll is caught with Astarion#Where Tav tells Wyll he'll make an amazing king and she's a lady who never backs out of her word#They're friends so they're both understanding that love between them isn't happening#When Wyll returns the ring during the ceremony Tav is like oh thank fuck because Karlach is looking real gorgeous tonight#Etc etc#Bg3#Wyll Ravengard#astarion ancunin#Bloodpact#I fucking love that ship name BTW it's genius
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theygender · 4 months
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I need to finish my tasks so I can be done with work for the day but I'm just starting back up on my meds after being off of them for a while bc I was sick and taking medicine that would have had a bad interaction with them and now my brain is not working. I couldn't remember if this specific medication had any negative effects starting up but apparently it does and that negative effect is "reduces brain processing power to 1 KB"
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svtskneecaps · 7 days
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literally it's 3am where i live and i'm on mobile but FUCK IT i haven't posted any actual writing in like a YEAR on this blog whose description include the words "I WRITE" and i can't tell if i'm even going anywhere with this so fuck it under the cut is the prospective absolute mess of the first chapter of the flipo family time loop fic. (for clarity, flipo family as in slime, mariana, and juanaflippa) this covers loop 0, aka the relevant parts of canon. words: 1630
parts of it i popped off with and other parts i hate; up to you to identify them. also the italics and other formatting got erased when i copy pasted and i'm re-adding all of it by hand so if i missed a spot, no i didn't. if i missed an accent on a letter in spanish that was a typo, if i missed a ¡ or ¿ that may have been on purpose.
oh and for obvious reasons, content warning for mentions and mild descriptions of child death and child murder. no blood, and most of it is a three word mention; i'd say the brief paragraph beginning "Tilín didn't scream" is most of the reason this warning exists.
Charlie Slimecicle stepped off the train.
He’d been hoping for a bright, sunny day to start their vacation, but was sorely disappointed. The portal had apparently taken them pretty far, since they’d gone from noon to night time. Talk about jetlag. They hadn’t even been on a plane.
“What happened to the other guys?” he wondered aloud as he stepped onto the platform.
“Yeah no clue,” Phil said, scanning the empty station. “Thought they’d meet us here.”
“Guys!” one of the Spanish speakers--Vegetta, he’d said, when they��d all met up at the first station--called, from a lectern at the wall. “There is a book!”
They crowded around as he read the instructions aloud--something about pressure plates, Slime wasn’t paying that close of attention. He was a little more preoccupied with making sure it only felt like his brain was dripping out of his ears. That would be kind of embarrassing.
Which was not to say that he wasn’t enjoying the constant onslaught of people talking over each other using words he may or may not understand. In fact, it was the opposite; he was frankly thriving in the absolute chaos that kicked back up around him as a timer appeared in the wrist communicators they’d been provided along with their tickets.
“Como se dice ‘we are going to die now’?” He giggled, chasing Phil and Fit to one end of the station.
“¡Vamos a morir!” shouted Spiderman, echoed seconds later by the black bear in the collared shirt.
Giddy over the high of attempting to use his high school foreign language for the first time maybe ever, Slime absolutely didn’t contribute much to solving the puzzle, and before long the sound of the timer ticking down was accompanied by a loud buzzing alarm.
“It’s been an honor!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs. “It’s been an honor!”
The bear ran past them again, shouting, “I’m going to die!” in English this time.
“Adiós amigos!” Slime yelled.
The countdown ended.
And then his communicator buzzed, and there was a video playing on the screen, showing a cartoonish yellow duck in front of a blurry beach stock photo. He skimmed it absently--some generic welcoming message and another side quest for them--distracted by Maximus audibly losing his shit laughing across the station.
“Come on, I’m trying to take a vacation, I gotta work now?” Fit complained. “This is ridiculous.”
Slime wanted to jump on that bit, but the message cut off with coordinates marred by static and the noise of the emergency weather alert system and he lost his train of thought completely.
“I got the English book!” Spreen called, holding it with two fingers like it had personally offended him.
“English leader,” Vegetta said, seeming to find that amusing.
“English leader.” Spreen laughed and flicked the book away. Slime stepped back but somehow it still nailed him in the chest.
“Guess I’m reading then,” he said cheerfully.
“In Spanish?” Maximus said.
“Um.”
Vegetta called something, backing across the plaza with the book open in his hands. Phil backed up to the wall.
“Here,” Phil instructed, “we’ll read it here.”
“Okay okay.” He flicked it open. “So we have to get water wheel planks--”
Their peace lasted a grand total of thirty seconds as voices suddenly began shouting, overlapping in chaotic chorus.
“What is that?” Fit demanded.
“Is that coming from the other side?” Phil stared up at the top of the wall.
“This is the thinnest thick wall I’ve ever seen,” Slime said, giddy laughter bubbling out of him again. “Is this thing made out of pencil shavings? If I sneeze on it, is there gonna be a hole?”
“Nevermind, we’ll read it over here.” Phil dragged them away again, but the Spanish speakers were dispersing into the trees.
“Forget the book,” Fit said, “follow them!”
(In the end it was explosives that took the wall down, which in hindsight was a precursor to how a not insignificant portion of time on the island was spent. The first day, however, it was just funny, much like everything else.)
(That was to say, the first first day.)
The communicator had indicated that today there was something special planned, so he made an extra effort to wake up.
“Morning Jaiden!” he called to his upstairs neighbor.
“Hi Charlie!” He could hear her farming through the wall. “Glad you woke up on time!”
“Well you know, you know, El Backflipo couldn’t miss it,” he joked, sifting through his backpack. “Got any spare food? I’ll trade you uno backflipo.”
“I have so much toast, come here and get some, free of charge.”
With a quick backflip and some toast to start the day, he popped open the map.
“There’s a lot of people down the wall,” he noted, their green dots so clustered they formed one. “Wanna check it out?”
“Yeah sure.” Jaiden tossed some seeds into a chest. “Do you know what this event’s gonna be?”
“I have no idea,” he admitted cheerfully.
She laughed. “Yeah, me neither. I guess there’s an egg involved, but that’s all I know.”
He dug around in his backpack for a paraglider, nodding along. “Yeah, yeah, un huevo, I get you.” Shuffling the landmine from Vegetta to one side, he yanked out his glider and threw himself out her window. “Let’s go!”
(nothing like getting struck by lightning to wake a guy up in the morning)
Slime fiddled with the communicator as he waited for the line of people to get through the ticket machine; he already had his own, a nice B for Backflipo. The new live translations still boggled his mind. He had to fight the urge to chant weird shit under his breath, just to see what the bubbles would say.
He paid a little extra attention when Mariana walked up to the machine. That guy seemed cool. They’d done that pequeño dormir together on day one, and he had a good sense of humor. Egg parenting would probably be funny.
He was thrilled to see the B for Backflipo on the ticket Mariana stepped away with, even if Mariana was decidedly less so. This was gonna be good.
(it was, and it wasn’t)
So, Mariana wasn’t exactly the coparent of dreams. Then again, Slime was pretty sure Mariana could say the same about him. In fact he was pretty sure Mariana had said the same, but in Spanish, when he wasn’t checking the translation.
It was great. They thought they’d killed a child immediately and then decided to fake their own child’s death to get away with it, and then confessed their sins to a bilingual angel and built a farm and then he buried himself beneath an improvised cross and went into a coma until his sins were forgiven, or something, except his sins weren’t forgiven in time to save his own child’s life.
And then Juanaflippa was dead. Dead at Mariana’s hand.
His bitch wife killed their daughter.
(Everything went faster, after that.)
Slime wanted to kill him.
Slime wanted to kill him for killing their fucking daughter, but of course, Mariana couldn’t even be bothered to be around to take care of her alive, never mind to pay for his crimes when she died by his hand!
(in a better world, his rage started and ended there. in a better world, the anger fizzled out with the lack of a target.
this was not that world)
There couldn’t be an Egg Event with no eggs.
If he killed them all, it would bring her back.
(in a worse world, he succeeded. in a worse world, the Egg Event ended there.
this was not that world)
They held a trial.
If he won, it would bring her back.
(in another world, he didn’t convince them. in another world, they left his daughter in Hell.
this was not that world)
Tilín was still before she hit the ground.
Tilín didn’t scream. Maybe they didn’t have time. It happened so fast. He was sure it happened fast. Almost too fast. But everything went so fast, now, even though Flippa was back. Yet, time slowed down for this, like a rubberneck driving past a highway accident, watching him desperately trying to shock their heart back into motion.
“YOU KILL MY BEST FRIENDS,” Flippa wrote. He begged her to understand. She wrote, “i can’t believe it.”
She wrote, “I HATE YOU.”
(in a better world, the error would have been caught in April instead of July.
this was not that world)
His daughter fell to his bitch wife’s sword. The same way. The next day.
They’d only just gotten her back. And Mariana killed her again.
He only left eggxile for the funeral. She wouldn’t stay dead, but he had to be there.
Time went even faster after that. He was Gegg, or maybe Gegg was him, or maybe Gegg was Gegg, or maybe. . . ?
He went back to eggxile.
He wasn’t leaving without them. Tilín. Juanaflippa. He would do whatever was necessary. He would pray to any higher power. Lil J still owed him a goddamn favor, but the guy wouldn’t pick up his calls. Maybe if he put more shit in the shrine; angels liked shiny shit, didn’t they? He went back to the mine, where the gasses swirled in his head. He built the shrine. He mined. He built the shrine.
He went back to the mine.
He went back to the mine.
He went back to the mine.
“This is where I sit, this is where my bitch wife sits, and this is where my daughter sits, if I had one!”
He’d said that before. No he hadn’t. Yes he had.
No, he just needed to clear his head.
Charlie Slimecicle went back to the mine.
Charlie Slimecicle stepped off the train.
#qsmp#qsmp fanfiction#qsmp slimecicle#qsmp juanaflippa#won't tag his partner since he didn't get to star much in this part#this idea is at its core a flipo FAMILY fic though it starts out with slime#just. the problem is getting to that point. bc beyond these words i have like 500 more lmao#for anyone curious for directors commentary in the tags:#pequeño dormir' is on purpose; i figured that would be a mistake slime would make at day 14 on the island#i also omitted the ¿ and ¡ from slime's spanish dialogue for the same reason; it's as close to an actual accent as i can get in text#(accent as in accented speech not accented letter; speaking spanish with an american accent)#slime's quote at the end about where people sit is taken verbatim from one of his streams#at time of posting it is available on his vods channel titled 'we won the war. (qsmp)'#a lot of the day 1 dialogue and flippa's dialogue from tilín's death is also verbatim#oh and the sequence from the 'we won the war' vod carries a lot of weight in the idea (wasn't the spark but it filled some gaps)#for me the cave gases are what drives every loop; time rolls back whenever slime inhales too much gas and 'forgets'#i don't have exact mechanics about it but suffice it to say if ANYONE were to spend too much time in this random ass cave#they would also loop back in time; slime's just the one who in this timeline Happened to discover it#shut up vic#block game brainrot#yea idk i just liked some of the dialogue tbh i think this gets super messy after they get flippa and then brings it back around at the mine#it's got some messy pacing in that middle bit but the foundation of a time loop story is its loop 0#that's what every loop after it has to call back to; that's the beauty of a time loop story#how is this different from loop 0; how is it the same#we've come so far only to get nowhere at all yknow#i'm a fan of stories rhyming but ESPECIALLY time loops so this is the setup for a lot of that#dude i gotta send this i've been sitting on parts of this draft for a year#may someone besides me read these words 🙏 thank you and goodnight#if people say nice things maybe i'll finally wring more words out of my brain. idk.#long tags
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orcelito · 1 month
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I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?
Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.
Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.
#speculation nation#i think the most blatantly YTA thing id get is when i ghosted that guy i was seeing back when i was 20 or so#wasnt ever actually dating but i made it sound like i would. very much led him on.#then realized i just wasnt into cishet guys At All and dropped him out of nowhere bc i was 20 and didnt know how to deal with feelings#objectively it was a pretty awful thing for me to do. and i feel bad that i did it.#have i ever tried to reach out and apologize tho? no lmao#it happened so long ago now i feel like itd bring more animosity than relief anyways.#id like to think ive learned from it tho. Dont Date People Just For The Hell Of It.#god it rly is my romantic history where im the biggest asshole. my prior girlfriend too#i do feel bad about that. i never meant to hurt her but that sure is what i did.#it was better to break it off when i did. wouldve been better had i did it earlier but oh well.#then as a teenager and my whole fucked up romance life then...#but NO LONGER!!!!!!!! hopefully lol. im rly into my current girlfriend and after my last one ive been dedicated to. not do that again.#cant date people just because im bored. that's never ended well for me.#i learned my lesson this time for SURE!!!!!#anyways yea id say more constently id be The Asshole in these situations. but im only human man it happens.#other situations it's usually just fucked up situations with me being a toxic little shit in response bc it's all i knew.#idk. community voting doesnt matter to me. learning from my prior mistakes and shortcomings is what matters to me.#it's interesting to see the blog tho. people are insecure about some of the most trivial things sometimes...
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tonyglowheart · 2 months
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reading thru old meta posts on qian qiu and there's like, some stuff I agree with sure but there's also a lot I don't lol. w like yan wushi especially. there's a lot of. I think too much conventional-mindedness in approaching yws even from the ppl who did like him as a character. saying he's a difficult character, and is meant to be a difficult character, but then still framing him along more conventional moral frameworks. yet another apartment 'complex'? strange, I find it quite simple moments.
#qian qiu#yan wushi#sorry so many of you are still hung up over the *chapter 45* '''''betrayal''''' rip but i'm different#(though I wonder if I'd feel this way if ppl hadn't made such a big deal of it and so I was expecting The Betrayal to be like. worse lol)#like for me since I was expecting *a* betrayal when I hit it in chap 45 I was like. this is it? lmao I thought it was sth actually serious#and then ppl like I can't let it go or I can't get over him saying he doesn't regret it - like god forbid women do anything forreal#the thing about yan wushi is he is not just master-less he's also in many ways *peer*-less#and that's why to him he was so much on the 'what a shame you're like the one guy who maybe could have been my rival but you're not'#I think ppl see rival as like. could be my enemy. but it's like. someone has to be your peer to be your rival#and it's very much established that yan wushi even before his power level is like maxed up has this wild potential#there's that chap where sq reflects on what qfg said abt yws having the potential to be better than him#but also I think it's a huge mistake to see/think of yws as amoral#he HAS morals. they're just not the same as yours#he doesn't care about the greater good as a rule but he's also not completely indifferent to it#and like. I think it's also a simplification to say that 'sq breaks the rules of yws's world of human nature being inherently corrupt etc'#I think that's a belief that yws holds about human nature but I think he's also like. smarter than to believe in absolutes?#and besides. to say it that way I think frames it as if yws is in denial about sq's existence and nature#I just don't get that sense from him - imo he sees sq as more of a curiosity than a like aberration#he's testing sq's bottom line not necessarily bc he's convinced sq is secretly evil but he because he wants to see what sq's bottom line is#and he wants to know that because sq's nature is so different than his own or those he generally encounters and understands from people#he's squishing sq like a dog with a chew toy not because he wants to destroy it but because he wants to see exactly what kind of noises#he can get out of it and exactly how far he can squish it before it starts being too much#(but also I think bc he sees sq's potential to be on his level and wants to see if that can get teased out)#in a like... bonsai shaping kind of way#yes he's pruning the tree back and sometimes pruning & shaping quite hard#but as with the art of bonsai - it's an interactive dance and like only the tree can add material#and for all that you can prune & shape the tree you will never know exactly what the tree will do#SQ is also like a tree in the sense that like you have to prune to get read of dead growth & also encourage new growth#and SQ goes from that like houseplant side of the meme that's like i'm allergic to tapwater#to flourishing under the adversity and the 'i can eat thru concrete'
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fafrogke · 3 months
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GUESS WHO JUST FOUND A WAY OF DOING THE FLOWERS AFTER 8 MONTHS OF TRYING
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can't believe that until a year ago i used to hate genderbending that's so embarrassing lol glad i grew out of that and have learned to appreciate it properly
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navramanan · 4 months
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I feel so horrible
#last evening i spilled tea it was obv an accident but i should have been more careful it was through a too careless action#some spilled on the book i got from the library. i thought that was the worst part#a bit spilled on my laptop. very little. while i was busy with the book my mom wiped my laptop#my brother immediately turned it off & told me to keep it upside down overnight#so i put it upside down. for hours. at least 4. before that i picked it up to look i could still see the water#but my laptop reacted to me picking it up & showed the battery percentage on the screen like it does#i didnt do anything else and put it back upside down. so again later i picked it up to check#it look dry. this time it didnt react to my ''touch'' to me picking it up#i didnt think anything. i wanted to do something on my laptop and tried powering it on. idk if that was a mistake or not#but it didnt react. the night is over it's almost noon it's still not turning on. it's been in rice the whole night#but honestly i dont even know if that actually helps. i know it's a popular method but idk#my brother works in IT he knows computers he said he'd unscrew & remove the storage disk to be safe#and to call someone they know who repairs computers. neither of these things happened yet bc we dont have the right screw#my brother i believe asked the neighbor#i'm not really hopeful. i've slept 4 hours last night bc i was so worried i couldnt sleep#went to sleep at 3 woke up at 7 couldnt sleep again#i said i'm not hopeful but one thing about me i never think bad things like this could happen to me so there's always this#''it's not real this isnt happening'' in me. i wish it wasnt bc if it turns out to be real it devastates me#i feel i get swayed so easily by things going wrong. it just immobilizes me#it happened when my luggage got lost. i was completely scatter brained fully gone when it happened#i was staying at my aunt's place. she poked fun at me for how much it affected me. said i have euros i could raplace my clothes#i spent four days this way. i was there to see a friend. i felt i was robbed from truly having a good time. it was our first time meeting#i cried every single day. called the airport lost & found every single day. this one thing occupied my whole being#i got my luggage back but what i'm getting at is for one i actually got it back so it wasnt a real bad thing that happened. it got fixed#and two it just had me in its clutches this one incident. so now my laptop wont turn on i cant think of anything else#cant do anything else. and although it looks real and i DONT want to be hopeful so i can let go and not be devastated when i find out#it's irreparable. idk where i'm getting at with this. except idk i really really really want it to work again#nesi rants
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manga-panels-daily · 2 years
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jrueships · 9 months
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twitter(.)com/heykayadams/status/1686813346127896576
so THIS is the cause of diggs's beef with allen.... WE HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER !
diggs after refusing his gemini moonness then inputting his dob, time, and location into the zodiac finder analyzer website thing: omg JOSH can you BELIEVE we both share a GEMINI 🤯⁉️⁉️ that is CRAZY!!!! but i CANT be.. it HAS to be wrong!!!.. right? right? you're a gemini, you should know all about gemininess! it's crazy, right! right!! YOU KNOW GEMINIS, JOSH! YOU ARE GEMINI MAN!!!!
Josh, trying to deal with yet another miserable, heartwrenching playoff loss: idc
diggs:
Diggs:
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hOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ABOUT zODIACS, i HATE you you STUPID FUCKING GEMINI!!!!!!!!!1!1!11!1!!1!!!!
#ugh this is sooooo gemini of himmm omgggg 🙄🙄🙄🙄#-- diggs on his hashtag savage sag (ittarius) burner twitter zodiac account with a billion followers#here comes the unnecessary devils advocate DIMWIT !!!!#ruining FUN where the scene shouldnt be and creating FUN where the scene shouldnt be#i HAAATE geminis!! I AM NOT A GEMINI!!!!!! i am self zodiacing as... a libra moon 🥰#and then diggs reposts a bunch of libra moon star sign stuff to his insta adding in 'OMG! that is soooo mee' to it in aesthetic font#milk with dinner is a no for me MAINLY BCS it's clear and u can see any backwash or cup residue in it#and i dont want that#milk is strictly breakfast or nighttime for me#it's either solo or no go!!! i do not like combining foods with milk!#if im drinking something to wash down#i dont want it to be smthin i actually enjoy BCS THEN THATS JUST WASTING!!! EITHER FOOD OR DRINK! ONE COVERS THE OTHER#while wasting BOTH!!!! nuh uh i drink that milk SEPARATE so i can ENJOY IT bcs i am#..i have a problem#im a bit of a freak with resources and efficiency sorry i grew up poor#but my gran gran loooves milk with dinner. she always suggests milk as a dinner option even when we're havin like.#chili. it's SO WACK like. is it a southern/farmer thing to drink milk with everything cus of rural stuff???#idk anyways offtopic this is hilarious and i love seeing the way the aries analyze things bcs they always think theyre right#but at least do some research..... that supports how they think theyre right and nothing beyond that it's so funny#they can only actually learn from making mistakes. it's like a curse. i love them#ted asks#diggs/allen
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tibbycaps · 9 months
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pepprs · 2 years
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i don’t know what the fuck is going on or why its happening to me but every SINGLE day since saturday something has come up related to [data expunged]. and it is genuinely making me crazy. idk if the universe is trying to show me a sign or plunge me into misery but i would like everyone and everything everywhere to shut up about [data expunged] effective immediately because it has made things very uncomfortable very fast and i am NOT having a good time
#i made a mistake of writing about it too and now everything is weird because of it. i just want to bury my head under a pillow and let 3#weeks go by and hopefully it’ll have been long enough for the coincidences to stop and to be forgotten. but like omggggg why was the one#ig video that got recommended to me about this specific topic in the specific way that upsets me and makes me feel like a burden for things#i can’t control AND makes me feel primal anxiety / rage at being left out (🥴) AND makes me feel defective because ive redacted redacted r#redacted. lollll. and the thing is even if im not aware of it it’s never gonna go away and i have t actually act on it to make it better and#to feel less lonely / defective / left out / whatever. but how do i even do that. i live in a pit of quicksand and would never redacted on p#principle. so im doomed to be like this my whole life i guess bc clearly im never moving out of here and will always be across the hall from#redacted and around people who will always be smarter and more experienced and whatever than me. ughhjhjhhhhghrghhhhhhb mental illnessssss 😍#delete later#purrs#like i don’t understand how some social things come so easily to people. i am apparently pretty good at faking understanding bc ive gotten#by ok enough but i just don’t understand and everyone else seems to but me. and i was thinking abt this last night as i was faling asleepnwn#and i was too tired to write it down so im doing it now / here i guess: i just KNOW i will be too skittish to redacted. still. at 23. if#something comes my way or if it’s like any of the other ones i will be too skittish and i will shake it off again and i don’t know why. i#ruin friendships when i do that. i need to stop. but i can feel my skittishness when i think about it and i hate that#also for the record this is not abt anyone on here or about anything anyone on here can fix / is directly involved w. sorry
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yay-depression · 1 year
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every day i set expectations and every day i’m reminded why i told myself not to do that
#feelings past 4 pm aren’t real anyways#it’s fine#my parents: tells me a gift is one thing#me: oh ok! cool!#me then actually trying to use it and realizing it is in fact nothing like they said: oh#was it a mistake? probably.#does it fall a little too neatly into a pattern of my parents simply forgetting or messing up things for/to do with me?#absolutely :)#just once i would like to go one holiday without being reminded that my parents actually don’t pay that much attention to ne#that would be nice#they’re getting better at least#my mom is starting to remember what kind of foods i at least don’t like#wish they’d stop repeatedly asking me things bc they seem to fucking ignore my answer every time but that’s a big ask from them so…#also wish they’d stop implying that the things i mention aren’t worth talking about but that’s an even bigger ask#it’s been a rough holiday season tbh#morbid humor about attempted offing of oneself coming up#my grandpa used to say the holidays were when he got the most ‘bridge jumpers’ as he used to call them (he was a psychiatrist)#and when i went to SC everyone was like ‘huh yeah ig that makes sense kind of wonder why tho’#as i was sitting there for like most of the holiday going#‘god i fucking hate my life’ and being so fucking lonely around ppl who were supposed to be my closest family members#it’s 12:47 happy fucking new year to me#great start to the year tatum crying alone in your bed waiting on texts from two separate people that won’t come#while your parents sleep for another 9 hours before they wake up and start asking passive aggressive questions#while they give you disappointed looks when you say that you are actually trying to rest over your winter break#only to then go to the movies with you best friends who you aren’t actually super close with bc no one you know really does emotional stuff#so then you get to go back home and cry yourself to sleep again (this is literally the third day in a row i’ve done this)#and feel alone despite having ppl who are supposed to love you :))#feelings past 4 pm aren’t real feelings past 4 am aren’t real feelings past 4 pm aren’t real#i think i’m getting depressed again /gen#can you tell?? /s
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