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depressedkakashihatake · 4 years

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Can I ask a question? Why do Kakashi get pregnant every time? I mean. I'm a trans man myself, and I didn't do the operation needed to have a penis, but I still decided to close my tubes since getting pregnant is... Well, is what women do, and I don't feel a woman, and it would feel somehow wrong for me to get pregnant. So, why do Kakashi always get pregnant? And Iruka, too, I've seen, in the last couple of AUs

Ok 1) Iruka has gotten pregnant in my head cannons once and it wasn’t my idea. it was an anons and i went with it because i genuinely think Iruka would be far more open to the idea than Kakashi (There are trans men in the world who have given birth to kids. so this is a thing that does happen in reality)

2) It is a cooping mechanism for me. I may not be a trans man, but i am Non binary with a hard lean towards male. I have always hated the idea of being pregnent, i hate my chest and all of that. but i am also terrified of operations and thus am not about to go in to get my tubes tied. I would love to have a body where i have no chest and a penis, but i’ve accepted the fact that a binder and strap on are the closest i will ever get, and i’m ok with that.

Now where Kakashi comes in is out of all of the Naruto characters i quiet clearly identify with him over anyone else. He is my favorite character, his personality matches mine the most. He is the character i see myself in.

So go back a few months when i found out i was pregnant, and i did not handle it well. Was i excited to be a parent? ya. But i had issues. i hated what it did to my body, i hated the fact that i KNEW i was going to be dealing with this bullshit of being called ‘mommy’ and having everything i do from now on for the rest of my life gendered even more than it already was. Basically the only person in my family who knows my gender is my husband, and if i have told others (his mother, my parents) they have just straight up ignored me and continued to call me by female pronouns and compare everything i do to women.

So i needed a cooping mechanism because i couldn’t tell these people to stop saying things like ‘you’re going to be a mommy’ and ‘oh you’ll be such a great mom’. i’d be turned into the villain

i couldn’t vent to my husband (although he is always super supportive) because covid-19 was starting up and as a doctor he was being worked to the ground and he was stressed. it wasn’t fair to him to unload my personal issues on him when he was already burnt out.

so i needed another option

i turned to Kakashi. my favorite character. my character who i identify with.

and i went with it.

I had him find out about his pregnancy at the same point i did (30+ weeks) because i genuinely believe neither him nor i would survive 8+ months of knowing we’re pregnant. i know i would have been an absolute mess the entire time if i had found out sooner.

Now when i make my Pregnant Kakashi head cannons i keep mulitpul things in mind for him and me.

Discomfort- Neither Myself nor Kakashi would be comfortable wearing anything that shows our bump. other than my work outfit i lived in my husbands hoodies because i absolutely hated the way i looked. I absolutely think Kakashi just lives in Gai’s hoodies since Gai is about 2X his side and the hoodie would cover almost everything.

also we both severely miss our binder because you just can’t wear that shit while pregnant. you can’t. i do believe Kakashi would start wearing his again once the baby was born and his c-section scar was healed, where as i basiclly have to wait 6 months till baby is eating solid foods because wearing a binder is just...it makes pumping and breast feeding impossible and those are unfortunately a part of my life right now. i won’t make them a part of Kakashi’s.

Feelings- Kakashi feels the same way about pregnancy as i do. He doesn’t want it. He’s not adverse to being a dad, but he has never thought of pregnancy and gone ‘ya that’s for me’. I basiclly accepted it would happen to me once because my husband wanted at least one biological kid and trusting another human to carry my future kid just is not in my nature. But for Kakashi it’s more of a surprise. he’s on birth control, he uses condoms with Gai, it just happens (as it did with me. i was on birth control when i got pregnant). His feelings (and mine) are why i put him finding out so late. because it is the only way he could coop. it would be a short amount of time he knew and then it would be over. far easier to handle than dealing with the fact you’re going to be pregnant for MONTHS

Now why do i keep making these headcannons? I’m still cooping. My kid is almost 2 months old and i still have not fully dealt with a lot of things. i feel like my days are a dream and nothing i’m doing is actually happening. having Kakashi go through this with me helps me deal with it all. reminds me it’s real and that i’m not losing my mind.

But at the end of the day, it’s my headcannon. you don’t have to like it, no one else has to like it. i almost always post them under the tag ‘pregnant Kakashi’ so people who don’t want to see it don’t have to, but i really need these headcannons right now. Putting a character i don’t identify with as heavily through this with me will not have the same affect. it won’t help me coop as much.

But also, not every trans man is going to feel the same way as you. Pregnancy is a ‘woman’s experience’ if you make it so’. i didn’t dislike the idea of pregnancy because it’s a ‘woman’s thing to go through’. i disliked it because i’m extreamly anxious and have depression and i genuinly don’t think i would handle 8 months of it well (and honestly, knowing that i was pregnant for a lot of what i went through, i can state for a fact that i did not deal with it well. i just didn’t know i was dealing with it)

Kakashi, Iruka or any other trans male can look at pregnancy as a thing that happens. it’s not a gendered experience because trans men, women and non binary people can all experience it. you personally view it as a gendered thing and that’s perfectly fine for you to do, but it’s not something every single person in the world is going to do. because at the end of the day, gender is an idea. It’s just this label people put on us and expect us to fit into. If we don’t fit in, we have to adjust our ideas of gender.

so again, you don’t have to like those headcannons. i take them appropriately so that you don’t have to see them (and if i miss a tag, let me know. i’ll apologize and fix it because honestly i’m running on 5 hours of sleep a day right now and i’m likely to miss shit)

but just because you view pregnancy as a ‘woman’s thing’ doesn’t mean everyone else does. there are trans men all over the world who have given birth because they genuinly wanted to, and there are trans men who (like you) never want to because they don’t feel it’s right for them for whatever reason.

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