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eldritchlulz-blog · 7 years

Text

that went well

nick and moire have irreconcilable differences

LAST WEEK

eldritchlulz

so are ye gonna eat paper airplanes all through class tomorrow too or ye gonna tell me what the problem is

nickatnightwalker

my appetite for paper airplanes is endless munro

eldritchlulz

great

hope yer hungry for that shiny stuff they print photos on

nickatnightwalker

ugh cmon that shits so bitter it's like letting advil dissolve in your mouth

eldritchlulz

ye know the terms of the deal walker

ye'd be doing yer stomach a favor

nickatnightwalker

it's not liver damage but we all have our vices

eldritchlulz

that's true

but yer liver's probably not gonna thank ye for bitter advil paper either

what if i made a really big one out of a whole newspaper

antonov an-225

nickatnightwalker

at least buy me a latte to wash it down with

ALSO LIKE A WEEK AGO

eldritchlulz

[moire makes good on her promise in class today. nick gets an expertly-aimed airplane to the cheek within the first ten minutes of class. it's folded from stiff glossy photo-printing paper, which she bartered from the amorphous art supply guardian in exchange for a memory. then he gets another airplane to the temple. and another. and another. long months of fucking around in class have made her an expert at predicting how long professor mothman will have his back turned to the board.] lattes are for when yer not being a dick, [she tells him after class, peeling off down the hallway to physics] i’ll make ye tea though if ye manage to eat em all

TWO DAYS AGO, post sharing dragon videos

eldritchlulz

so are we friends again or nah

YESTERDAY

nickatnightwalker

i cant read this over the noises my stomach is still making as it digests photopaper

eldritchlulz

ye could have had tea

nickatnightwalker

it was a pride thing

eldritchlulz

i didn't think ye had any left after the third airplane

nickatnightwalker

you would be shocked at how much i manage to retain no matter what i swallow

eldritchlulz

i guess we all have our talents

nickatnightwalker

damn straight munro

some are just more highly sought after than others

eldritchlulz

who knew airplane eating is so decidedly respected

nickatnightwalker

anyone in the aviation industry duh

eldritchlulz

well don't forget who helped launch yer career when yer famous and shit

nickatnightwalker

yeah ill try not to forget the little people

eldritchlulz

yer like a foot shorter than me

nickatnightwalker

oh well obviously im talking about personality

eldritchlulz

then yer like two feet shorter

nickatnightwalker

hair doesnt count

neither does punching

eldritchlulz

luckily those aren't personality traits

nickatnightwalker

exactly

which is why youre the little people and im not

eldritchlulz

lmao all ye have in yer corner is being tiny and rude

nickatnightwalker

youd be surprised how far those two things can get you in life

eldritchlulz

good for ye

nickatnightwalker

thanks it's been an uphill battle but 18 years in im starting to get the hang of using that stuff in my favor

eldritchlulz

great

TODAY

nickatnightwalker

since youre technically millys aunt im donating a full sentence of real talk which is that i dont really fuck with public drinkers

eldritchlulz

why not enough personality for ye

ye get high all the time

nickatnightwalker

yeah, and all that happens is i chill out

eldritchlulz

is this because of the movie night?

did we do something to ye?

nickatnightwalker

no it's just not my thing ok

i dont babysit lightweights and hanging around them always turns into that anyway

eldritchlulz

lmao i mean ye didn't and no one asked ye to

nickatnightwalker

no offense but have you ever hung out with drinkers because no matter the fuck what eventually

eventually

nickatnightwalker

it's the one sober person's job to console whoever just started crying and stop the fights and driving and unprotected sex and i have plenty on my plate right now without heading down that road so i really, really prefer not hanging with people who get drunk on wine during disney movie night like you do you and shit but it's not my scene

eldritchlulz

i know yer from like

the city and shit

but here i’ve only ever drank with misha and some of the girls in proteus and it’s never been like that

i don’t know in what world ye think ye have to take care of us

eldritchlulz

i don’t want that lmao and i definitely don’t need it

nickatnightwalker

good to know but there's still that second hand embarrassment factor and the smell of rancid grapes to figure in

like i just dont like hanging with people drinking it's not that deep

eldritchlulz

good thing ye’ve never done anything embarrassing like proposition yer supposed cousin over the pa system

that’d be real fuckin awkward

whatever walker

if yer gonna ditch cus one night out of the months ye’ve been here we did something that ye didnae like that didnae even affect ye

then seriously

whatever

nickatnightwalker

lmao at least i did it fully aware of what i was doing

nickatnightwalker

like damn munro cant a guy choose his company based on personal preferences

eldritchlulz

lmao weak

i do enough embarrassing stuff sober too kill me for having a good night where i didn’t worry about shit

and ye sure can

my personal preference is hanging out with people who don’t flake without even a heads up

evens out

nickatnightwalker

it's not flaking if we never had plans like ho ly shit why is this such a big deal you wanna get shitfaced and turn your head into a fish that's your prerogative and it's mine not to stick around while it's happening i dont particularly care why you did it im sure being drunk was a blissful reprieve from your tortured thoughts or whatever and i respect that i just dont want to be there

eldritchlulz

gods ye are literally the one who made this into a big deal nick i just said whatever like three times ye dinnae have to justify yer weird hypocritical bullshit to me

no one said ye had to watch when there were a thousand other things to do and pay attention to that night but yeah ignoring a friend for weeks and not letting them know what’s up is a shitty thing to do and i was trying to like check in but it turns out the mistake was thinking that we were friends in the first place so like i said

whatever

nickatnightwalker

i was doing plenty of other things that night and i really dont get why you cant run it through your hair that i dont fuckin like hanging around drunks and forgive me for not realizing we were at the bffs for life stage and thinking it wouldnt be a big deal to drop off your proverbial sea charts

eldritchlulz

oh nice so i'm a drunk cus i had some wine that’s incredibly reasonable of ye top of the fucking class

i wasn’t saying we were bffs lmao yer supposed to be the human don’t ye have a basic concept of how human relationships work ye don’t have to be bffs to not be a total asshole

nickatnightwalker

you were drunk i dont know what gentle terminology you want me to use here like was i supposed to hand you an official notice like dear mr and mrs munro this is a letter of resignation on the basis that i dont fucking roll with public wastedness

nickatnightwalker

god i thought you were buried deeper in your hypermasculinity than getting ratty because i decided i didnt wanna hang with you your boy and a bottle of something that could strip paint off a car

eldritchlulz

the utter fuckin logical leaps yer going through to make hanging out with us about drinking constantly is amazing ye gonna mentally photoshop bottles of liquor into all the times we hung out where we weren’t drinking too

and ye can fuck off with the hypermasculinity bullshit it’s bad if i am and bad if i’m not to ye sorry i don’t fit the perfect image of rambo lmao almost like the way ye stereotype everyone isn’t the way they really are

i don’t get how i’m the fucking unreasonable one here for thinking that i’d fucked something up and wanting to fix it and instead getting a thousand word essay where ye reiterate the point that got old the second time ye said it

luckily ye can consider yerself off the hook

nickatnightwalker

if ive said it so many times then why isnt it going through

nickatnightwalker

and like damn do you think youre like picking away at my layers of carefully crafted denial to get to the real reason i dont wanna hang with you guys anymore or something like i told you it's not that deep and just because i expected you to be oozing masculinity like a frat boy's sti doesnt mean it's a good thing that usually you are

eldritchlulz

trust me i'm not under any delusion that yer deep lmao

it came through loud and clear the first time

so like i said four fucking times

whatever

yer off the hook

see ye in class

nickatnightwalker

yep, this shallow bitch'll catch you later than you overhyped blowfish

eldritchlulz

also weak

nickatnightwalker

yes, i know, your muscles schwarzenegger youll be back etc etc etc

#rip kids #no one is reasonable #ooc #im #nickatnightwalker

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