#if the fucking bahn worked and was punctual for once but there's no punctual trains in this godforsaken country

[tardis--dreams]

God i could have such a chill evening if it wasn't for that doctor's appointment tomorrow morning looming over me

#this wouldn't be so stressful if i didn't have to take a train to get there #the ride is only 4 minutes but i have to walk to the dr's office for 1.8 km which is about 24 minutes #but i haven't really been to this town before and don't know the way so i have to use maps to get there #and the appointment is at 8:30am and the train i would Like to take is scheduled for 7:54 am which would be fine #if the fucking bahn worked and was punctual for once but there's no punctual trains in this godforsaken country #so my anxiety tells me that this train will arrive 8:15 am at the earliest instead of at 7:58am #so i would be late and i can't be late i would just kill myself #but if i want to play it safe i have to take the train 30 minutes earlier which would mean I'd have one hour #to walk there and I'm Really not in the mood of just spending 30 minutes waiting outside like a weirdo because i have too much time left #so my options are either take the risk and be relatively punctual rather than having 35 minutes left to spare #or just waste an hour of my life because I'm too afraid to potentially be late #also the fact i have to wait for a train back home again and cannot plan this at all because idk how long I'll be in the office #is so annoying #and also I've never been to this doctor and i don't know how the whole thing will go and how the rooms and everything look like #and it's stressing me out #also that i have to plan at least 2 hours for an appointment that probably won't take longer than 5 minutes #because of the fucking trains #anyway #i should go to sleep now #40 hours without sleep and not more than 4 hours on average the days before have left me broken lmao #i gotta practice my lines though. i cannot go in without a rehearsed script. gotta be careful around doctors and choose your words wisely #otherwise they won't take you seriously or think you're overdramatic and dismiss any concern as 'anxiety' #yeah no i don't trust them- i hate relying on them- let me be free ahhh #void screams