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johnbukowski-blog · 5 years

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What a stupid thing to do! As the bus came around, it stopped and opened only the front door, the one close to the driver. This was because there were only two people there, and perhaps he was disturbed by the shadowy and pale presence of both of us. What a strange world we live in, to go from ecstasy to the pinnacle of the ordinary and the This duality has to be the core principle upon which all realities operate. I however did not wanted to go, but perhaps out of my timid and proper nature I boarded the bus with out giving any special impression to the driver. I hated my decision as soon as my mind had settled on it, and ans soon as I saw myself with my entire body inside it. As soon as I heard the distinct sound of the bus driving off, I began to imagine. I imagined that in stead of us boarding the buss, a concrete slab that belonged to the old building behind us, would have loosen up and fall on the plastic roof that made up the bus stop. And in the pile of rubble, our pale skins would blend in with the complex shades light gray tones, with only one major difference: thin strands of blood gently flowing from the pile. I smiled as I added the final finishing touches to my imagery. I always a had talent, and inclination for the visual, for the aesthetic, and imagination was for me my only escape as the bus drove away to nothingness, to the nothingness which became my life. Imagination was always an escape for me. In fact one of my oldest memory was when my mother confronted me about the ware about of her bed sheets, which I stole one spring morning in order to attach sales to my newly constructed wooden boat. Imagination and lying, my only real friends. I started to forget that the years had seasons. That’s how much my life had become a repetitive in nature. But during the summer just before my 29th birthday, there was a reshuffling that happened in my parents house. Just before september 2019, my sister had moved from our house into her new apartment with her husband and child, sow the room in in which she sat for several years together was suddenly empty. Since most of her furniture was hers, she took it all and left the room almost empty. It was bitter sweat in a way, after all this was the room where I’ve spend most of my childhood in. This was the room I where my grandmothers large mirror sat, the one in which I saw my ‘double’ for the first time, no dought an event which changed my life completely. This was also the room where the family books where, where during the long cold winter days, or the dry summer ones where spend by me sitting on the carved up space inside the large, imposing teracota heater that seamed to keep vigil over the whole room, and read, read, and dreamed. One day, right after they had moved out, I gently walked inside the room once more. The room was of an emptiness of which I never thought I would see it in. Here and there, there were scattered furniture pieces and rols of packaging material, no dought a from a hob left to be finished the next day. The silence which I was enveloped, now repulsed me. It was as if I was witnessing a pale, rotting carcass. It’s features which gave it it’s character, its very life were still intact: but for how long ? No longer will I hear my little nephews laughter in it, no longer will is see his shadow through the glass of the door. I felt as if this room did not deserve such a deserting end. I moved around the place as memories came gently one after the other. Only the noise of my footsteps on the old wooden floor accompanied me. I stepped into the light of the day, and looked once more into the distance. Suddenly, I was distracted by noises from the streets. The layout of the room was, and still is like this: On my left side there was another large window, at a 45 degree angle to the one I was looking through. One showed the front garden, while the other the street. As I turned my view to window next to it, I saw a group of neighbourhood children playing the middle of the street. I gazed at them from the safety of my room, from the anonymity of my silent act, from the cold touch of my desperation. I felt a tenderness grow inside me as I continued to watch them. As it was all to nature for my weak character, I quickly became absorbed by the beauty of their abandonment. Summer magic in it’s full force. I feel to the conclusion once more, that there was a force outside of me which manipulated me at times to remember, to relive certain memories which tie in almost perfectly, as a form of special meaning to the very physical moment in which I happened to find my self at that particular time. That moment of trance like abandonment was no different. Another memory rushed my mind. It was the middle of my 12th summer. The year was 2002. In the small community where I lived, I could hardly call it developed. I remember my world consisted of only 3 windy street, which where unpaved for the longest time. Our empty , childlike lives consisted of lounging at any given sidewalk corner, for whatever reason one could not remember. The only thing that comes o mind, puncturing my conscious is the sound of a distant car that came and rushed in front of our very eyes, lifting a could of dust with it, disturbing the lazy tranquility of the day. Dust rising ,dust falling down. The neighborhood (which at that age I thought consisted off only these 3 streets) where surrounded by open, animal grassing fields, and a long 5 mile hillside we called the Observatory. It was in these places where our wild nature and our never ending appetite for freedom showed itself, for all day long, wether it was on the weekend free days, or after we came home from school, one could always find us playing in the short grass until sun set. I remember there was a field, in particular, one surrounded from all sides by a low hanging fence. As you entered you were greeted by a path way, which was barely visible from the tall grass which grew to cover it. We simply werent supposed to be there, but on one particularly memorable august day, me and a band of children, regular suspects I might add, jumped the small steel wire fence, and began our walking towards the small hut. I remember my senses becoming more refined and alive to everything around me. Unnoticed things, like the curvature of the fence we just jumped. As we were getting further and further away from it, as sense on sadness erupted from it, as if it was warning me of something. Quickly, the sound of the ruffled tall grass surrounded me it infernal, shredding sound. My friends diden’t seem to be disturbed: it was natural for them to be rebellious, for me it wasent. This state of things, I would learn to utterly regret in life as I grew up. We couden’t stop talking, pushing each other, testing ourselves .It was as if we were wild hares, living in a world of concealment, in which we could act out our most craved fantasies, as our destination drew closer. The hut was surrounded from 3 sides by wall nut trees. As we got with in ten feet of the place, we started to circle it as we continued our talking, unconciously as it were, as if it was our strange way of greeting the final point of our destiny. The bent aluminum sheets that constituted it’s roof tilling reflected sharp rays of sunlight to my eyes. I suddenly and for a mere split second felt a bitten feeling of deception enter my hearth, like the horrible taste one gets in his mouth when biting into a decomposing sun flower seed. Soon however, we entered the ‘hut’. Inside we found a desolate place. The where only two wooden, windowless framed standing in a corner opposite of the door and nothing else. But the mutual feeling that we all had upon finding whats inside filled us with the sweetest wonderment and joy. It’s sad that this particular quality of a child’s soul, that of finding a ‘something; to wonder about even in the midst of total emptiness does not survive the cynicism of adulthood. Perhaps knowledge ruins it, but I personally think there is something entirely else at work. Soon however something unexpected happened. My friends have all but left, almost with out sound, with out a single added gesture. Some of them began playing with the empty frames in the tall grass just outside the hut, while others where climbing the trees and talking to each other from a distance. I remember, because I cannot forget, just how much I felt in soul the distance between them and me became horrifically amplified, almost to infinity itself. Was I afraid or distressed? No. I was dying to see just what will happen next! However soon I noticed that in the room there was another person. I young girl, which was about the same age as me, that i would give her the name of Maria, in order to keep her anonymity. She had short, black hair and a round face. There was a calmness which was unnatural for a child, I thought, and felt as if she was one of those girls which are somewhat “forced” to mature as quickly as possible, on account of her strict religious upbringing. I was even then, a helpless presence. To shy, to frail, to afraid of being afraid even. I stood still as she looked out a small, dirty window. Wich stood opposite of me, thus I had a prime view of her back. I became enthralled by what she was doing. She was peeling the dead and curled up white paint on the bottom of the bent and raged frame with her perfect finger nail, with her perfect finger, with her perfect purpose and resolve. As she was doing this, she was staring at something outside, at what exactly even my wildest fantasies could not produce an answer. Perhaps there is no vision in rare moments like that. Only the mind seeing with the back of it’s eyes worlds impossible to calculate. I know for sure, she did not noticed me being there, behind her. For her, everyone had left the room and she was left alone as she probably deserved, as she probably wanted. My perverted eyes immediately became fixated at her ankles. It’s true that in that particular summer my fixation with the human body had ‘progressed’ or rather should I say ‘regressed’ towards the human ankle, particularly the female ones. She kept raising them up and down, gently, as to not reveal to much muscle tension or a tendon popping through the skin. Lets now begin an exercise of imagination. Lets conjure up the image of a mad genius doctor, who has lost his entire humanity, and now in a secret laboratory, has concocted a being which at every step of the way, at every moment in which it’s natural life force is expended outwards, converts the superfluous and the decorative into it’s exact opposite: into substance, into pure meaning. Thus only from the hands of such a imagined ‘creature’ can beauty achieve the highest ordering known to exist in the universe. One can become pure evil at the sight of such something like this. Under the effect of this powerful sight to behold, my body felt like a training dummy, profoundly helpless in an open field, repetitive hit by different adversaries one after another. The wind current slammed the door over and over again, as I could barely see a patch of gray clouds gathering somewhere in the distant sky. I continued to contemplate her ankles as if her entire soul was somehow located inside that area. Like the petrifying eyes of the Gorgon, she froze me in place. She turned to me and I quickly saw her eyes. I couldent distinguish what color where they, green, light blue. At this age I was made to believe, by the words of the older children on my block, that the people from whom you cannot decide decisively what eye they have must be evil in nature and supernatural. Now it all made sense. Now I was certain she was not of this world. In short, her eyes , with their strange color and ‘stifling’ capacities had somehow sucked all the oxygen in the tiny, ragged ‘hut’. I felt far to compelled, far to humiliated by the moment. I felt like a poor, ill equipped animal caught in the crossfires of a skillful hunter. He pules the trigger and with out disturbing the grass under me, I fell with out a sound. The incapacity and futility in front of a form of absolute beauty. She looked at me and said: “Should we leave? Her voice sounded uncaring, as if the response was all ready set in stone beyond my possible will otherwise. My mood and my spirit suddenly changed. I responded to her with my own gazing, which could never rise up to the shear power and intensity of hers. I was full of revelry, as if i was a schoolboy that had just heard the long awaited bell that announced the end of the classes for the day. In my hearth however, pored a satisfaction akin to stupidity. And perhaps cowardice as well? Was I really glad to get away from her unforgettable presence? Or was this just my pride trying to quickly and unconvincingly cover the power that her presence had over me. Better yet, my incapacity to somehow alter, act against this beauty had become unbearable. I never knew self hatred before like I knew then. An yet,it was in those unfaithful moments did the unexpected. I took two timid steps forward and quicker than I imagine my lips where touching hers. I was to be my first and perhaps last theft. With this act, all of a sudden my world was violently cut in half. In between them, inside the ‘cut’ that split reality into two sides as it were, I was standing alone,with a perfect view of both of them, of both of these ‘worlds’. On one side there was the world I knew all to well, the world that my perpetually undecided mind my weak constitution allowed to it to be drenched and overfilled with an imagination that was out of control, which was only a a justification for the complete lack of courage to act when ever my conscious dictated it. To many times in my life I allowed a thick and heavy layer of imagination to take over when I in reality I should have acted in stead. The other half was the unexplained sensation of her lips touching mine, particularly the tips, the top rim. In a split second I opened my eyes as the kiss continued. Bad call. I closed them faster that I felt could be measured. On my mind an image became imprinted. There she stood, the improbable beauty of her face, her alien like sophistication, perfectly detached from the world around us which only that year stated to understand, and learn to detest. I gently pulled back and never looked at her face again, never hoping even in my deepest fantasies of ‘earning’ more from the moment. However, with ever anticipating it, I quickly glanced at her as she stood there, frozen and with out response. She looked like a pale candle inside a abandoned room.As much as I wanted to stay there, in that solitude perhaps until the end of our lives, I got out the room and started walking through the tall grass towards the hunched piece of the fence that we hoped earlier. From the distance I heard the voices of my friends,some felt as if where aimed at me, others at themselves, it was a mess of words and sounds ultimately aimed at nothing. I felt that everything around me, everything I encountered was incriminating me. I was sure at first that the bend fence reacted more like a spring than ever before when I attempted to clime it. ‘’Something is wrong’’ I said, trying to comfort my self somehow. I stumbled on the way back home. Houses with their broken shindlers, peoples the cherry trees with their white flowers blasted by the winds, all of these accompanied my journey to the safety of my home, whispering accusation of what I have just done. I had no one to tell, none I wanted at least to tell, to confess, only to myself. Trapped in daily routine, the members of my household did not notice my odd behavior. I climbed the ladder which lead to our attic, and there I sit on an old mattress which had an aluminum frame that barely hanged on to support even my light weight. I’ve placed my hand behind my head and looked through a broken piece of a shingle, that was a bout the size of a large coin. I squinted my eyes, as the light reach them like sharp needles. It was there that i became inexplicably tired for some reason, and soon I fell a sleep in the most unexpected way. I don’t remember having a habit to sleep in the afternoon, but for some reason that day I just couden’t help my self to stay awake. I slept and I dreamed that whole time. In the first dream I imaged myself running back home after I had kiss that beautiful girl in the small abandoned house. I dreamed that her parents came to my house and started to argue with my father as if something terrible and unpardonable had happened between her daughter and me. I saw a fight ensue, shouting and throwing fists, it all looked like a dramatic theatrical play was unfolding before me. The next one was even stranger and in a disturbing way resonated with me more than the first. I saw my self back inside the empty house with her. She was on the floor, sow quiet was she, than she seamed as if she was sleeping for days on end. But there was something profoundly wrong. I saw a pool of red blood(it could have only been blood) shallowly emerging her ankles which were sitting one next to the other. In my hand I felt the vague sensation of a object. I looked down to my right and I saw a small hammer in it. Even thou this would have constituted a perfect moment to be horrified, on the contrary, I felt a distinct and compelling sense of freedom, of a peace which lye's beyond a every border, beyond anything my mind can understand. The whole scene was kept in a state of petrified beauty, and all of it’s elements were working at unison. The next and last dream was more ’casual’ in nature. In it, after we kissed,me and her would have decided to live there inside the small room as husband and wife. All of a sudden, she grabbed my hand and gave me a hard shake. ‘Come!’, she said looking at me with a rock like determination. I had no excuse to say no. When we got out the door and in an instant she called for the kids that were playing outside to join us. She said something to them, looking at them with uncanny determination. In my dream I looked at her lips to my right but I could not determine what she was saying, nor could I hear anything in that moment. I always wondered why my senses failed me in that particular segment of the dream? After she finished talking, her lips became once more silent and staunch. I felt as powerless as a slave. The pressure of her hand had become such a common sensation, that I had forgotten completely how it was before, how my hand felt when it was empty. Sow this is how truelove must be,I said to my self as i was dreaming. The total destruction of one way of existence in order to bring in another, Vrabies Mihai, Towards a Poetic Life

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robot-radar · 7 years

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2017 Buick Enclave Review

On the off chance that what you need is something to help you meet your regular schlepping family commitments, there are various feasible choices. In any case, on the off chance that you are searching for a hybrid SUV with seating for eight and a first quality interior, your choices are more constrained. This conveys us to the 2017 Buick Enclave, a top of the line, yet commonsense hybrid that decreases extravagance equals in cost.

Notwithstanding its particular styling, the principle contrasts between the enclave and mechanically related Chevrolet Traverse (updated for the current year from GMC Acadia) you can better observe the inside of the Enclave’s astoundingly tranquil lodge.

It moves out and about like a huge Buick must, with the solace tuned suspension retains the unevenness of the territory and has added sound protection to keep the wind clamor going.

The inside has a third column of seats offering appropriate settlement for more seasoned kids and youthful grown-ups, something few adversary models with three lines can assert. The arrival is helped by the secondary passages standard open and standard second deck seats that can slide up and off the street.

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2017 Buick Enclave Configurations

2017 Buick Enclave Interior

2017 Buick Enclave Colors

In the event that it’s the tow limit you require, the enclave offers a liberal 23.3 cubic feet of space behind the third line and having a huge load with all the collapsed raise seats.

While the enclave stands out and about, it is not precisely dexterous in day by day driving. It is likewise one of the more established models in this section, and this is reflected in the date data and amusement interface for the Buick and mileage and speeding up are not as much as stellar.

In any case, the redesigned rendition of the 2017 Acura MDX is sportier to drive, to cooler determinations and enhanced efficiency. You can likewise get the Infiniti QX60 and Volvo XC90 for their smart and top of the line renditions of the Dodge Durango and Ford Explorer on the off chance that you need more power.

Generally, be that as it may, Buick Enclave 2017 is difficult to beat with regards to reasonable transportation to more travelers in style and solace.

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2017 Buick Enclave Convenience

2017 Buick Enclave Leather

2017 Buick Enclave Pictures

2017 Buick Enclave The Hardware and Attributes

The 2017 Buick Enclave is a channel with three columns accessible in three levels of gear: Comfort, cowhide and Premium.

Every Enclave comes standard with line sort second commander seats and a limit of seven travelers. A moment line of seats, which expands the limit of eight travelers, is discretionary in premium and calfskin models.

The standard gear for the level of solace that is just accessible in front-wheel drive variants, incorporates 19-inch compound wheels, programmed xenon headlights, warmed mirrors, raise windows, raise electric entryway, raise stopping sensors, starter engine Remote motor, a programmed aerating and cooling framework with three zones, a movable (in addition to lumbar alteration in both bearings) power driver’s seat and eight-way, a front traveler situate with two headings, movable directing wheel in stature and extending lined In calfskin, speed controller and a self-dimensional mirror.

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2017 Buick Enclave White

2017 Buick Enclave Spy

2017 Buick Enclave Price

The electronic serial rundown incorporates OnStar telematics (with 4G LTE and Wi-Fi zone), Bluetooth sound telephone and network, a back view camera, a 6.5-inch touch screen, IntelliLink Buick interface Voice reconciliation and brilliant radio application), two USB charging ports and a six-speaker sound framework including a CD player, a helper sound info, USB sound interface and satellite radio.

The cowhide trim framework includes calfskin upholstery, warmed front seats, an eight-control conformity for the front traveler situate, warmed guiding wheel, memory controller settings and a visually impaired cautioning with the invert course cautioning.

Brilliant premium models incorporate the majority of the above alternatives and 19-inch chrome combination edges, versatile headlights, electrically collapsing mirrors (with programmed driver-side trimming), early impact cautioning, a ventilated fumes Front seats, an electrically flexible directing section, route framework and a Bose sound framework with 10 amplifiers.

Choices in cowhide and premium models, for example, 20-inch compound wheels, twofold sheet sunlight based rooftop, a video diversion framework at the back and a tow bundle.

Distribution Packages of Tuscany Edition and Edition Sport Touring offers accessible completions and particular wheels with bronze and dark glossy silk completes, separately.

2017 Buick Enclave Execution and mpg

Each of the 2017 Buick enclaves accompany a 3.6-liter V6 that produces 288 strength and 270 pound-feet of torque. A six-speed programmed transmission and front-wheel drive are standard, and all-wheel drive is discretionary on premium and cowhide models. Very much furnished with the discretionary drag bundle, the Enclave can tow up to 4,500 lbs.

In execution tests, a four-wheel drive enclave went from zero to 60 mph in 8.2 seconds, which is slower than normal for extensive intersections, some of which are furnished with capable V8 motors.

The EPA evaluates that Enclave FWD will return 18 mpg consolidated (15 city/22 thruway). Including AWD brings this number somewhat lower than the consolidated 17 mpg (15 city/22 parkway). These are numbers not as much as the normal mileage for a vast cross, with V6 motor.

2017 Buick Enclave Security

The 2017 Buick Enclave is outfitted with electronically monitored slowing mechanisms, strength and footing control, side airbags in the front seats, side window ornament airbags, raise stopping sensors and a back view camera.

Additionally, the standard is an extensive air sack that ranges between the front seats; It is intended to shield inhabitants from crashing into each other in the event of side effect. The standard OnStar framework incorporates the absence of programmed warning, roadside help on request, a crisis catch, a stolen vehicle locator and dynamic mediation and a remote opening of the entryway.

Cowhide and premium models, for example, a cross activity caution and a notice stop. The exceptional trim likewise has crash caution and path relinquishment cautioning frameworks, both accessible for calfskin completing as extra alternatives.

In braking tests, an enclave with standard 19-inch wheels accompanies a 60-mph stop on 120 feet, which is a couple of feet better than expected for this class. An enclave with 20-inch wheels’ discretionary stop at 126 feet.

In government crash tests, the enclave earned a five-star rating for five-star impact security for full front guard assurance and five-star insurance for full side effect security.

The enclave likewise did well at the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety testing, acquiring the most elevated conceivable rating of good in direct recuperation on effect testing and sidelong effect frontal effect of headlamp and hold head (Protection against whiplash).

2017 Buick Enclave Interior

Inside the 2017 Buick Enclave, you will discover a space that is exceptionally very much outlined. It is not as extravagant as some genuine extravagance models, but rather there are little points of interest, (for example, the sewed vinyl trim on the dashboard with differentiating sewing) that help set the atmosphere of extravagance.

From the driver’s viewpoint, the dashboard revolves around the 6.5-inch touch screen IntelliLink framework for Buick, which permits the reconciliation of cell phones and applications.

The screen mounts a little lower than the normal line of the driver’s view, so it is important to turn away from the street for longer than we might want. The menus are natural incorporated framework in spite of the fact that the touch screen might be ease back to react to specific data sources and the innate many-sided quality implies that it might require some investment to feel great with finding what you are searching for.

Aeration and cooling system utilizing three simple to-work catches, regardless of the possibility that a portion of the encompassing catches are little.

With respect to whatever remains of the tenants, those in the first and second lines have all that could possibly be needed head and legs. That being stated, the lower pads in the second column seats are somewhat lower, which can make the more seasoned grown-up somewhat awkward unless they slid their seats the distance back. Obviously, in doing as such, the legroom in the third line is jeopardized.

Discussing this third column, it offers respectable legroom for adolescents and youthful grown-ups as the second line tenants are prepared to surrender their seats sliding back. A drawback is that back perceivability is amazingly constrained when all seats are involved.

The space of the Enclave amplifies its freight hold. For amateurs, there is more space here behind the seat of the third biggest number of adversaries. Overlap the second and third line of seats, and has a huge space that is perfect for transporting cumbersome questions, for example, furniture.

2017 Buick Enclave In the Driver’s Seat

The 3.6-liter V6 and Enclave’s six-speed programmed impetus framework are sufficient in every day driving, yet absence of juice in circumstances where increasing speed is required up to full speed, for example, the entry of a slower vehicle on a street Double-carriageway. A few contenders, especially those with turbo V8 motors or are fundamentally more grounded.

Around the city, the 2017 Buick Enclave ordinarily feels like the huge, considerable vehicle, it is. Contract stopping move can challenge, particularly because of the crumbling of back perceivability. Out and about, in any case, the enclave emerges on account of its peaceful and calm lodge library driving.

2017 Buick Enclave – A top of the line, yet commonsense hybrid that decreases extravagance Equals in Cost 2017 Buick Enclave Review On the off chance that what you need is something to help you meet your regular schlepping family commitments, there are various feasible choices.

#2017 Buick Enclave Colors #2017 Buick Enclave Configurations #2017 Buick Enclave Convenience #2017 Buick Enclave Interior #2017 Buick Enclave Leather #2017 Buick Enclave Pictures #2017 Buick Enclave Premium #2017 Buick Enclave Price #2017 Buick Enclave Spy #2017 Buick Enclave White

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