#ik you see the sun / moon in shrek forever after through the window but.

[day8423]

thinking about fiona’s independence. the original two princesses ( snow and cinderella ) were forced to mature far too quickly, isolated from anyone who could help them grow, develop. forced to find kindness within themselves or in most cases, their animal friends. although they were surrounded by evil figures in their life, they knew what they wanted to get away from / who they didn’t want to be. integrated into a path of extreme hardship, they had goals and aspirations and ( although not human ) company. fiona only had herself. from seven to twenty seven, she had to learn absolutely everything on her own. she had to teach herself everything. yes, seven years were spent with her mother and father but, with an emotionally and physically distant father and the plain knowledge that she was different to who she was ‘supposed’ to be, set her back in terms of emotional growth. then, at age seven, hardly mature, unknowing why her parents, why her mother thought it best to be away from them, was put unwillingly into twenty years of isolation. the fact alone that she didn’t lose her mind in that tower is truly amazing.

relying only on herself, she didn’t even have a view out her window to see the world turn. as we see in shrek, when he and donkey climb the cliff top to actually make their way into the dragons keep, it’s immediately dark, as if it’s nighttime. where they’re clearly coming from the middle of the day; when the three of them leave, it’s day again outside that barrier. meaning fiona practically lived all those years in the darkness. unable to decipher when the sun would set. all of a sudden her body would change, and she’d be an ogre; just knowing she could add one more tally on the wall. her curse was always simple in terms of when she’d turn. at least she could prepare, count the hours until she turned human again. right? wrong. because of the tower, she couldn’t rely on the bare minimum. couldn’t be granted a little light. she had to be her own mother, her own carer, her own friend, her own educator. she had to grow up alone, assuming she would never be gifted any help whatsoever. “princess lonely, walking circles…” she relied heavily on her storybooks, tales of princesses living their happily ever after. but they lost their meaning and substance over time too, because why did everyone else get a happy ending and not her? she had to be her own comforter. cry on her own shoulder. wipe her tears away because no one else was going to. her favourite stories became useless.

i also firmly believe she taught herself defence skills when she reached early teenage hood. every day the question would ponder through her mind, completely obsessive: what if her prince charming arrived at night? what if he saw her, an ogre, the monster of the fairytale, and attempted to slay the beast that’s surely eaten the awaiting princess? she had to prepare herself for an intrusion. “when one lives alone, one has to learn these things, in case there’s…” fiona had to be both defender in case this ever happened, and the dutiful princess waiting on a stranger to save her. when she never should have had to be either. relying on someone else is always going to be a strange feat for her. even if she lives to become an old woman, it’s still twenty straight years of particular and specific integration. she can trust, yes. she can let people in and connect with them. but she never expects anything to be done for her, and will never request it. frankly she wouldn’t know how. her perception of trust is very frayed and warped. she’s accustomed to being the only person dependable; it becomes a form of processed habit, never asking for assistance. it’s a habit very very difficult to break.

also on that note. the one time she did rely on someone, it didn’t go the way it was supposed to. in my main verse, she relies on her prince charming to get her out of the tower: he never comes. she gets herself out. and then in shrek, she’s literally rescued by an ogre. it’s a complete slap in the face to everything she ever believed / relied on, which makes those twenty years just feel like a waste of time. her dependence failed both times, so she only counts on herself.

#ii. every princess is a beauty / every dragon must be cruel : study. #hmmm yes this is going to be a fiona rant blog. <3 #god she just deserved so much better. #I know her window is very very high. #but i believe any kind of view would be clouded by the steam and the fizz of the lava. #she might sometimes see a glimpse of the world beyond that wall. #but not very often. #ik you see the sun / moon in shrek forever after through the window but. #that is not canon to me. <3 #bc they literally changed the design of her dress / tiara for that whole five second scene. #so i don’t trust the consistency.