#so i don’t trust the consistency.

[day8423]

thinking about fiona’s independence. the original two princesses ( snow and cinderella ) were forced to mature far too quickly, isolated from anyone who could help them grow, develop. forced to find kindness within themselves or in most cases, their animal friends. although they were surrounded by evil figures in their life, they knew what they wanted to get away from / who they didn’t want to be. integrated into a path of extreme hardship, they had goals and aspirations and ( although not human ) company. fiona only had herself. from seven to twenty seven, she had to learn absolutely everything on her own. she had to teach herself everything. yes, seven years were spent with her mother and father but, with an emotionally and physically distant father and the plain knowledge that she was different to who she was ‘supposed’ to be, set her back in terms of emotional growth. then, at age seven, hardly mature, unknowing why her parents, why her mother thought it best to be away from them, was put unwillingly into twenty years of isolation. the fact alone that she didn’t lose her mind in that tower is truly amazing.

relying only on herself, she didn’t even have a view out her window to see the world turn. as we see in shrek, when he and donkey climb the cliff top to actually make their way into the dragons keep, it’s immediately dark, as if it’s nighttime. where they’re clearly coming from the middle of the day; when the three of them leave, it’s day again outside that barrier. meaning fiona practically lived all those years in the darkness. unable to decipher when the sun would set. all of a sudden her body would change, and she’d be an ogre; just knowing she could add one more tally on the wall. her curse was always simple in terms of when she’d turn. at least she could prepare, count the hours until she turned human again. right? wrong. because of the tower, she couldn’t rely on the bare minimum. couldn’t be granted a little light. she had to be her own mother, her own carer, her own friend, her own educator. she had to grow up alone, assuming she would never be gifted any help whatsoever. “princess lonely, walking circles…” she relied heavily on her storybooks, tales of princesses living their happily ever after. but they lost their meaning and substance over time too, because why did everyone else get a happy ending and not her? she had to be her own comforter. cry on her own shoulder. wipe her tears away because no one else was going to. her favourite stories became useless.

i also firmly believe she taught herself defence skills when she reached early teenage hood. every day the question would ponder through her mind, completely obsessive: what if her prince charming arrived at night? what if he saw her, an ogre, the monster of the fairytale, and attempted to slay the beast that’s surely eaten the awaiting princess? she had to prepare herself for an intrusion. “when one lives alone, one has to learn these things, in case there’s…” fiona had to be both defender in case this ever happened, and the dutiful princess waiting on a stranger to save her. when she never should have had to be either. relying on someone else is always going to be a strange feat for her. even if she lives to become an old woman, it’s still twenty straight years of particular and specific integration. she can trust, yes. she can let people in and connect with them. but she never expects anything to be done for her, and will never request it. frankly she wouldn’t know how. her perception of trust is very frayed and warped. she’s accustomed to being the only person dependable; it becomes a form of processed habit, never asking for assistance. it’s a habit very very difficult to break.

also on that note. the one time she did rely on someone, it didn’t go the way it was supposed to. in my main verse, she relies on her prince charming to get her out of the tower: he never comes. she gets herself out. and then in shrek, she’s literally rescued by an ogre. it’s a complete slap in the face to everything she ever believed / relied on, which makes those twenty years just feel like a waste of time. her dependence failed both times, so she only counts on herself.

#ii. every princess is a beauty / every dragon must be cruel : study. #hmmm yes this is going to be a fiona rant blog. <3 #god she just deserved so much better. #I know her window is very very high. #but i believe any kind of view would be clouded by the steam and the fizz of the lava. #she might sometimes see a glimpse of the world beyond that wall. #but not very often. #ik you see the sun / moon in shrek forever after through the window but. #that is not canon to me. <3 #bc they literally changed the design of her dress / tiara for that whole five second scene. #so i don’t trust the consistency.

[pookiepiastri]

Me personally I just think if you crash your car… then you don’t get to race. But maybe I’m crazy

#this is so dumb #Logan is your only driver that doesn’t consistently crash out here #i’m screaming #Logan getting p12 is better than 2 crashed cars #free my boy #justice for my american boy #Logan I’m so sorry bby #William’s is a family… interesting. #James Bowles I don’t trust u #james vowles #love you alex #formula one #alex albon #aa23 #logan sargeant #ls2 #f1 #formula 1 #f1blr #williams f1 #australia gp 2024

[yackers]

soo much of hoa’s plot could have been avoided if the adults just like communicated with the kids. victor like barely ever takes a second to think about why they would even want the mask and he knows he needs the chosen one to wear it to get the tears of gold so like why not just ask?? they have such a scooby doo villain mindset like in s3 they’re just like ‘these meddling kids wanna stop our super important and moral uncursing ceremony because they hate fun!!’ like they could’ve just gone ‘why do you want us to stop this there’s no problem with it?’ and they would’ve been like ‘oh it’s because denby is an imposter so he’ll wake up evil’ and they could’ve fixed it!! you’d think after discovering that they almost accidentally murdered like 6 kids in s1 before they were stopped that they’d maybe wanna be more careful next time

#like I get why the kids don’t trust the adults #even if maybe eddie should’ve explained things to sweet better in s3 instead of seeming like he just has a conspiracy against his teacher #but the kids have been consistently right about a bunch of the mythology stuff so maybe trust them sometimes?? #and ik that victor doesn’t actually know nina is the chosen one til the end of s2 but like he should’ve put it together #house of anubis #txt

[mumblesplash]

getting better at drawing when you’re not trying for realism is kinda funny bc it’s like wow now my art looks even MORE like the exact midpoint between old-school disney and late 2010s anime. i didn’t think it was possible and yet i’ve done it again. inspiring

#and soon? even More. #there’s also the additional layer of not being able to explain what about my art is better than it used to be #like idk what to tell u it’s just better now. all my old stuff is crap compared to this. leaps and bounds #source: dude trust me #tbh i think my artistic abilities probably seem much more consistent from an outside pov #bc i never want to draw anything i can’t draw #like if i TRIED to draw that cuteguy stoplight drawing a few months ago it would have looked terrible #but i wouldn’t have tried bc i wouldn’t have wanted to bc i couldn’t you see #that’s the thing about art it never feels any easier #if you start out frustrated by your skill falling short of your vision guess what #your vision will continue to improve as you gain skill and that frustration never goes away #but it also never feels any harder #my first experience with drawing was being pleasantly surprised to find my skill slightly exceeded my aspirations #(i was 3 and my aspirations were draw a duck) #and you know what. to this day the pleasant surprise remains #what i’m saying is dream small stay in your comfort zone and do not strive for great things #cannot recommend complacency enough #this isn’t sports you don’t get gains through effort you get gains and then the effort happens on accident #don’t listen to me i probably don’t know what i’m talking about #but i AM having more fun drawing than you so maybe i’m onto something #impossible to say #i’m certainly not smart enough to figure that out i’m an idiot have you seen the kind of advice i give #mumbling

[crookedfivefingers]

Me: Why aren’t there so many more TenMartha shag-or-dies? Let’s write a simple one!

Me, later: Let’s base it on Ten being required to bring Martha to orgasm X amount of times in X amount of ways

Me, several thousand words into new fic whilst actively ovulating: Let’s make Martha a virgin+have Ten be super empathetic and gentle about it because they’re best mates/he knows she fancies him/he wants her to be comfortable+enjoy herself as much as she can

Me, falling apart: Over and above all of that, let’s channel obscene amounts of energy into ensuring it’s in character/realistic/feels like an actual [NC-17] episode

#tenmartha #ten x martha #tenth doctor #martha jones #doctor who #just shouting into the void - don’t mind me #honestly I’ll be happy if ONE person enjoys this smutastrophe #I know the bulk of TM shag or dies are handled with pretty heavy and consistent angst #and I’m not saying this is angstless #but I really want to highlight the trust+affection between them #their friendship is so often tragically overlooked #of course there’s an emotional imbalance between them but he still adores her #and finds her attractive - which certainly doesn’t hurt #and obviously they’ve got chemistry in spades #anyway idefk why I’m using tumblr as a diary but it feels good to write it down

[sharkieboi]

had a talk with my boss today that was basically “hey this recent bout of covid has put the writing on the wall for me and I can’t do the physical aspect of this job sustainably anymore, can you help me figure out something else, hopefully here at the aquarium cause I don’t want to have to move again and I like working here, or at least can you point me to the person who can help me figure that out” and fingers crossed but here’s hoping I can just land a desk job and still be able to see my birds from time to time

#shhh sharkie #I’m preemptively so upset about this but the reality is I can’t. #I can’t be on my feet all day and I can’t scrub and clean and I don’t trust myself on ladders or with a knife #I can try I know it’s early but even if I get back up to what is my new 100% I can’t do this anymore it’s not gonna work out. #and I’ll be more of a burden than an asset to the team if i’m constantly having to need help to do the basic routine #but i love this team and this aquarium and i don’t want to have to move again so soon #or change workplaces and lose the convenience of my apartment’s location to my workplace #but like truly I can get through about an hour of standing and working on my feet and then i’m exhausted and have to sit down #like I legit took a nap in the office today and boy howdy did I need it #i’m just really sad. I don’t want this to have to end. #I always (jokingly) said that i’ll do animal care until my body tells me I can’t #and my body is telling me I can’t. #fuck this shit. I finally get a decent job and a good role and have some consistency and then wham bam fuck you.

[salsflore]

good morning! school starts tomorrow and i’m sooo not ready i don’t know what to do >_<

#i’m going to be consistently a teensy sad and disappointed everyday. like not even joking. i don’t go out of my way to be miserable but it #happens even if i tried my best Not to be like trust me #i’m still coughing :| #grrr i want to cuddle zhongli and like nuzzle him. that loser #hes so cuteeefjsdjfkd... dont know what to do with myself!! once my account gets verified i am buying those cute fanmade merch things #💭 #mika ♡ zhongli

[disengaged]

.

#permanently so scared i’m pregnant 🫤 #pussy’s always doing weird things like. wtf girl stop #pegasus speaks #i consistently practice safer sex & i do a pee test basically once a month Just To Be Sure & also my doctor says i’m infertile anyways #but i don’t trust like that

[elendsessor]

tbh every time new news about streaming and cloud gaming stuff comes up i’m given more reasons as to why i try to own games and media physically whenever possible. why sell organs on the black market to get my pc to run a game that can be taken away from me when i can just. buy a copy that i can whip out anytime.

indie games are the only ones i trust taking up space on my pc steam will only be a safe space for so long-

#also why i don’t use my pc much #the biggest issue with pc gaming is unless you have a 10/10 one or can consistently update it you don’t get far #my pc hates running shit above a certain gig limit #and i’m sorry but it’s not worth spending an arm and a leg for another pc to play one game #plus i don’t have that security #steam’s great and all but i don’t trust keeping game storage on any cloud #indie games tend to not take up much space so when i download them i can easily keep them #everyone has their preferences but you better prepare to have something to burn digital things on #because companies are making it clear you don’t actually own the things you have #shantien rambles

[lesbianpegbar]

the true trigun stampede experience is my overwhelming apathy mild rage and the rare love of trigun that seeps through once every six episodes having a never ending cage match in my brain

#genuinely one of the most confusing viewing experiences i’ve ever had god bless #i think overall i just feel painfully neutral about the whole thing #with quite a few things i could scream and cry and piss about but i just don’t care enough. lol #slightly ashamed to say that stuff like hearing millys name dropped made me squee a bit but whatever #i mean the potential with milly and meryl being together and the eriks storyline is there but also #the writing has just been kinda consistently ham fisted and bad saur. idk if i trust them #oh well. very neutral to bad experience with this show. shrug emoji #it has been fun to rant with the mutuals each week so i guess i’ll miss that<3 #trigun #mine

[starlooove]

“Jinx wasn’t trying to kill Ekko she was trying to kill herself 😢” why can’t y’all let that girl be evil bro

#y’all thought that she thought that he was gonna walk it off?? #Like Bruh #two things can be true at once #sure it could’ve been suicidal #but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t trying to kill ekko bro 😭 #this is like. the main point of what I dislike Abt jinx Stans #not a single one of her actions can be selfish or just bad #I bet money there’s ppl who think ekkos wrong for tryna get her away from silco #like if that flashback ever comes out the amount of racism and bias we’ll see #fuck #y’all already treat him as borderline predatory and stalkerish when he’s like #the only one who’s been consistently anti jinx the whole time #this whole thing where y’all think ekko is trailing after he like a lovesick puppy is so irritating #honestly #I’d argue if that dynamic existed at all it’d likely be the other way around #bc ekko does NOT trust jinx anymore and atp I don’t think he even trusts powder #the cool thing Abt ekko is that with the way things are going #I think he’d be one of the ppl who don’t separate jinx from powder #but whatever that’s a diff story

[divorcemotif]

"oh hey a real person followed me, I should look at their blog"

soon

"...perhaps I should listen to Eskew."

oh boy you caught my blog after an exciting weekend lmao

I absolutely recommend eskew! I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts, since I got into it over a very physically and mentally draining summer job and have yet to relisten, but it left an impression for sure. I will say what there is of an overarching narrative felt a bit jolty to me in places, for lack of a better term— I think you get the vibe of a show that’s figuring itself out somewhat as it goes, however the ideas are very interesting and I could make a long list of moments that really really affected me. my recent posts probably give a good sense of what I liked most abt it; david ward is just. endlessly interesting as a character imo. the writing’s good— there's a kind of.. ironically humorous edge to a lot of my favourite episodes, something I’d have to relisten to properly articulate. there's a tic of referring to one-off characters by a title instead of a name— the correspondence editor, the architect, the witness— that scratches something in my brain. in contrast with the slimy fleshiness of much of the horror, the sound design is just nice, actually— the rain never stops in eskew and the tone of the narration stays pretty level no matter what’s being described. there are only two narrators and I found both of their voices pleasant enough to close my eyes to on the subway after a long day. very solid show

#ask #eskew #I don’t usually post this much abt eskew but that jonathan sims vs david ward most sopping wet podcast man poll awakened smth in me . #got me itching to write like 1000 words abt how it’s ultimately an unfair comparison #but I havent listened to either podcast in A While so I don’t trust myself to be like. right. abt anything #I’ll just say. #eskew has its narrator in the middle of the horror right off the bat. it’s more immediately immersive and far less grounded— #early episodes you have rlly no guarantee that anything david is perceiving is real or what ‘real’ even means within the rules of his world. #even later on it’s p ambiguous how many of the people he interacts with are actually people and this uncertainty gets exploited a lot #basically. in tma the world looks broadly like our own and is being affected by outside forces where in eskew the setting IS the horror #if I were writing an essay abt this I might make it abt the ways each show plays w humour and absurdity— #the caricature of jon’s initial presentation is a grounding force at the start #where eskew consistently uses absurdity to unground you and keep you uncertain #ofc the initial security to this divide between jon and the statements gradually dissolves #but tma just has a lot more structure the whole time w both the epistolary kind of format and the world.eskew gets. abstract . #what I’m saying is david is infinitely wetter and more miserable bc his story both requires and allows for it. tonally. #and because the rain literally and metaphorically never stops. #david never gets a fucking break even when he gets a fucking break bc he can never KNOW if he’s really getting a fucking break #or if the city that loves him soso much is about to turn on him #(also hes far more chaotic morally I think on account of just being. further out of touch). #at least tma has enough supporting characters who are definitively real people by the rules of its universe #for you to have found family expectations it can repeatedly subvert. #david is a half drowned rat. #. however jonathan sims has more fans and could never lose 😔

[pussy-ache]

#bpd #could be trauma. could be an overproduction of cortisol affecting my pituitary gland #and it’s a catch 22 for me because (if i truly have BPD) i can’t accurately assess my behaviors #like. i’d like to THINK i’m not a manipulative person but what if i am? how can i trust that i haven’t been fooling myself? #and hurting other people in the process? #but i also don’t like being the center of attention. but maybe i’m manipulative in worse ways #i also fit everything for regular BPD. not just the impulsive subtype #like i do actually believe i have this the vast majority of the time. there’s just not much that can be done #it’s like … ‘’here’s this awful terrible personality disorder. you got it. it’s a list of shit that makes you an awful person. have fun!’’ #like it’s not something that i can personally investigate very often #so many studies i’ve read conclude with shit like ‘’yea this group of people sucks just like we thought. can’t trust them & there’s no cure #and i’m terrified to even ask for medical help anyway cuz it’s also one of the most stigmatized mental disorders to be diagnosed with #right up there on the same level of stigmitization that schizophrenia gets — which also runs in my family incidentally #and my family members who developed it did so in their 30s-50s …. symptoms didn’t start until super late #consistently afraid of my own mind and personality with nowhere to turn. i can’t subject that on anyone. #which proves the inabilily to retain long lasting meaningful relationships correct #i have a history of dipping early #and i’ve been called cold and distant in a relationship. i retain too much independence. #superficial stings a little #all my life it’s like ‘’wow i feel a lot. i might be an empath’’ #and in reality it’s ‘’no actually. i have a personality disorder that amounts to me being an overbearing crappy person that feels a lot.’’ #here’s some studies that prove that #i’m just a very. very. very. tired person #sigh

[festus-eats-tabasco]

“Why is Lin Manuel Miranda everywhere” I don’t know how to explain to you that this man is genuinely talented and not just a meme for y’all to hate for legit no reason

#his songwriting is incredible #don’t pretend y’all weren’t obsessed with encanto when it came out #i saw the trending page #in the heights is a wonderful musical #and though Hamilton has its problems for sure #he’s consistently used his platform to cast poc in his projects #and to get more representation #he’s also just??? a good dude #genuinely I don’t understand why people don’t like him #y’all are making him into this James Corden kind of guy #and he’s not #he’s actually talented #and frankly his music deserves to be heard #also he uses his platform to speak out on so many things #asking for hurricane relief! advocating for poc! #y’all #he’s a good actor #and if y’all are choosing now to backtrack on the #“we should trust Rick he knows what he’s doing #then to me that’s honestly really fckn stupid #idk man #percy jackson #pjo tv #lin manuel miranda

[ink-and-spite]

I stopped liking stranger things when they made hopper a complete asshole, like a horrible person to el and Joyce in season 3. They took away all his emotional intelligence and Depth and just made him angry violent man who suddenly forgot how to express his feelings and became so overprotective of el that he THREATENED Mike who he actually had a good relationship with before

I Also have many things to say about stranger things

Mannn ST is freaking SOMETHING. I still genuinely enjoy it and I’m excited for season 5 but the last two seasons just ??? What were they DOING

#my brother and i will go places to do d homework and end up ranting about everything stranger things has messed up this is a great ask hfjgo #you kind of hit the nail on the head in terms of hopper #they just are Not consistent with their characters or their growth at ALL #and they don’t trust their audience like they did at the beginning so *everything* gets overexplained and they have to have their characters #act dumb for justtt a minute so they can re explain something they’ve explained 5 times already #like broooo move ON please #auden.txt #ask #funky-writer-man

[daydreamerdrew]

back-up story to The Flash (1959) #313, as republished in Immortal Doctor Fate (1985) #3

#the scene where Dr. Fate takes Inza and like absorbs her is so intense #whereas the scene where Inza and Kent are released seems so calm #the narration says that Kent remembers everything and so he would remember Dr. Fate forcibly taking Inza while she screamed and resisted #but it seems that he’s more of reacting solely to her feelings and not to the horror of that #even Inza’s not really talking about it #… I suspicious of Dr. Fate here and if he’s messed with their minds some more #also Kent saying ‘Fate gives order to my perceptions- an internal consistency.’ #yeah honey he’s brainwashing you and not allowing you to fully understand what he’s doing to you and then hate him #also the ending of Kent saying that their problems will be worked and Inza asking how he could be sure #and Kent saying ‘trust me’ is overlaid over a panel without them and just showing the Dr. Fate helmet in the distance #isn’t a heartwarming ending at all #the implication is that their marital problems will be worked out because ‘Fate’ wills it so #I don’t know if Kent can really actually be trusted considering the hold that Fate has over him #dc #kent nelson #inza nelson #my posts #comic panels