#im a pushover. im easy-going. im a very understanding person. i get it bc theres also very few days per week that im free to socialize

[heyitslapis]

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

#yes yes i know adult life leaves little room for spending time with people who you care about & even if we have time we're burnt out #but my whole adult life has been white-knuckled clinging to relationships or people that barely if ever send that energy back #as soon as theyre onto the next person that will entertain them. as soon as theyve found something to fill the time that i usually take up #as soon as theyve gotten all they wanted from me emotionally. as soon as its inconvient to see me. almost as soon as theyre bored #then suddenly its me waiting for a text. waiting for a day to hang out. hearing over and over again that yet another thing is more importan #than me. and i get it. life happens. schools important. work is important. rest is important. but at the point im at in my life #im looking for people who actually make an effort not just give months and months of excuses as to why they suddenly cant hang out #im a pushover. im easy-going. im a very understanding person. i get it bc theres also very few days per week that im free to socialize #but i cant keep letting myself act subservient to everyone else in my life. i always put my friends & potential friends so high on pedestal #i treat them & their time as precious. now i refuse to let someone do anything but the same for me. my time/energy/love is just as precious #i dont deserve only a text when you need something from me or just to act as a treat to tide me over until the next transgression #and i certainly am NOT going to be the person that you can stand-up and then expect to still answer your text. not anymore. #in prioritizing my mental health lately ive realized that this pattern HAS TO STOP. i cant allow myself to continue the same harmful cycles #i deserve better. i need better. i WANT BETTER #emma vents #vent tag #healing tag