#im too anxious and too paranoid and too scared whenever i enter a relationship because i don’t want to do something unforgivable.

[finalhaunts]

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#.txt #fuck man. #thinking about my ex. agh. #i dont know how i feel about things i guess #ive moved on and im happy he’s happy /gen but also whenever I think about him I just get so upset #I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong. its been over a year and im still just so upset whenever i think about it #because it had been nearly two years since we got together and he just. broke up with me out of the blue. #and I never got an explanation as to why. even when I asked he didn’t tell me #and part of me is thinking ‘’well i should just respect whether he wants to say or not’’ but at the same time don’t I deserve some closure? #he said it wasn’t because of her at least. but part of me can’t help thinking he left me because he was happier with her. #I feel like maybe I was just too much. and thats why he left. #im too anxious and too paranoid and too scared whenever i enter a relationship because i don’t want to do something unforgivable. #i dont want to hurt anyone. that’s the last thing i want. I don’t want to push anyone away. #and im hurt that it didnt work out and i want to know what I did wrong but #at the same time i feel like im. happier. now that im out of that relationship #he wssnt a bad guy and he still isnt /gen. i just. i dont know #looking back on the relationship i don’t feel like i was happy. and once we broke it off we drifted apart quickly #and even if he didnt do anything wrong i feel Very uncomfortable over the thought of us interacting again. even just as mutuals or whatever #I think I’ve honestly just given up on trying to find love. its never worked out for me #ill just stick to the fictional ones. thanks. #also if anyone readjng has any clue who this js please dont mention it #this isnt like. a callout or me trying to smear him or whatever he’s genuinely a great guy #im just. having a lot of mixed emotions. even after so long. #vent