#im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually

[spiked-mall-goth]

heyyyyyy <3 <3 i feel terrible.

i had planned to stay off longer but i genuinely have had like three nervous breakdowns since i left bc right as i decided it was abt time i just chill for a little bit everything started happening all at once. so i came back to see my silly little internet friends, but like the second i logged back on some ppl were talking smack abt me sooooooooo... ya know. my day (two weeks) be so fine,, then BOOM my entire schedule fills up and i become hollow on the inside! (hey sorry like vent post n tags i need to get things out of my brain)

#spikes rambles #i was happy there for a minute too :< #heres what its looking like rn.... #i have three weddings. one of which i am a bridesmaid for and was left to get my own dress #but i cant afford a nice dress that matches. so i have to make one my damn self. and in two weeks. #i have a graduation.. and a graduation party both for different ppl #even tho i had to push back my own graduation by a full year bc things were just not going as planned. and now everyone thinks im a failure #im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually #wants nothing to do with me and was forced into this but i was under the impression that we would be teaching TOGETHER #and not her being an assistant. so now i have to call her and be like heyyyyy what the fuck is going on i need to know the lesson plan #im also volunteering for a church summer thing. if i could i wouldnt be doing this but my self made mother figure asked me personally #to help and i cant say no to this. we get to hang out and i get to paint like murals and shit and we've been doing this together for years #i have to spend the weekend with my bio mother to go to a celtic festival thing bc my younger brother wants to go. #i'm having some pretty severe best friend problems which i am honestly not well equipped enough to deal with and its eating me away inside #summer has officially started here so that means 24/7 headaches and sensory problems. straight up category 5 autism moments #i had to pick up the slack and become a paternal figure to my youngest brother. which is just sad that i have to at all #my dear beloved friend is trying very hard to make a young adult like hangout (???) thing in own town and really wants me to go #but i just dont wanna. i dont really care for social gatherings #hey guys btw all this has happened or was planned for next month in the two weeks i was gone #what the fuck.