#imma curl in a corner till it passes

[residentlesbrarian]

The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities

Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee

Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?

Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!

It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!

I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.

McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.

Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.

Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.

Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.

The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!

One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.

My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.

Queer Wrap-up:

Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.

So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.

Links:

Shannon McGee Website

The Storygraph

Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”

Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!

#Of Gryphons and Other Monsters #Shannon McGee #resident lesbrarian #3 unicorns #questioning girl #lesbian #heavy wlw romantic subtext #ya novel #ya fantasy #go to your local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals

[zvkos]

CH. 6: DELETED SCENE

wassup my loves!! it’s been a month since the last instant crush chap, and i feel so crappy that i haven’t been able to give y’all anything sooner. i have a part of chapter six that i wrote and then got rid of, but i thought: “instead of deleting it, why not post it as something separate?” so that’s what imma do! give you all something to tide over the wait till chapter seven. it’s short and sweet (and unedited :p) but pls take this as a peace offering 💕 

SUNDAY

Sundays are lazy days for Clementine. They always have been. She'll wake up to the muffled sounds of the vacuum cleaner seeping underneath her door. She'll go downstairs to find Lee vacuuming the living room, singing along to the crooning of the television.

Undoubtedly on the 80s music channel.

He'll greet her before she pours herself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. That bowl of cereal will accompany her in her room as she works on homework until A.J wakes up and demand she join him in watching the newest episode of his latest cartoon obsession. They'll spend quite some time like this—curled up on the couch together—until Lee makes A.J clean his room and start on his forgotten homework. Then Clem is left to her own devices.

Most teenagers are out with friends on Sundays. Some have extracurricular activities that keep them busy during the weekends. More often than not, Clem has nothing.

This Sunday is the same.

With only four months left in the school year, it’s too late to join any clubs. She contemplates texting Ruby and seeing what she’s up to, but decides against it for fear of coming off as clingy. The idea to text Sophie appears in her mind for a split second and disappears just as quick.  

No, instead she resolves to help Lee with laundry because… why not?

She’s folding A.J's shirts when her phone loudly vibrates on top of the dryer. Lee is separating the dark and light clothing when his head jerks up at the harsh sound.

Clem grabs her phone and checks the notification. Lee's watchful eye has her controlling her expression, but she can't stop the small smile that breaks through.

[3:16pm Louis] U ever feel like ur brain is melting out ur ears?

[3:16pm Louis] Bc that's me doing my calc hwk rn

She shoots a quick reply back and continues to fold A.J's shirts—periodically stopping to reply to Louis.

The cold loneliness she felt melts away. He’s so easy to talk to. She was nervous to text him after Saturday night, not wanting to disturb him. According to everyone, Louis is a social butterfly. He probably has plenty of people vying for his attention.

So she's pleasantly surprised he texted her at all.

She doesn't miss the way Lee watches her out of the corner of his eye. If he’s curious about who she’s talking to, he doesn’t say anything, choosing to stay silent.

She's grateful for that. She doesn't know how many more times she can say “a friend from school” before he insists on knowing who.

The texts continue long after she's done with the laundry. They're still going strong, even after the sun bleeds a deep orange into the sky and disappears behind the horizon. It's nearing six o'clock when she realizes they've been talking for two hours—going on three.

She only peels her eyes away from her phone when A.J appears at her door with his arms folded. “Who're you talking to?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Louis,” she answers, sitting at her desk. Two new speech bubbles pop up on her screen as Louis replies.

A.J gasps and rushes to her, gripping the back of her chair as he peers over her shoulder. “Can I say hi?”

“I'm texting him, A.J.” Clem holds up her phone so he can glimpse at the bubbles of text. “I'll let him know you said hi, though.”

A.J frowns in confusion. “Why not just call him?” Before she can register what's happening, A.J snatches the phone out of Clem's hand and presses the button to video call Louis.

“Whoa—! A.J!” Clem twists around in her chair and reaches for her phone, but A.J is too fast. He darts away from her, holding the phone above his head.

“A.J, I swear—” Clem lunges for the phone at the exact moment Louis picks up the call.

She stops mid-action when his face takes up the majority of her screen. “Hey,” he says, looking slightly puzzled but still smiling. “If I had known you wanted to video call I would've—oh, you're not Clem.”

The phone is maybe four inches from A.J's face. “Hi, Louis!” the kid exclaims with a huge grin plastered on his face.

Louis says, “Hey, A.J!” Then adds, “You're a little close to the camera there, buddy. I can only see your forehead.”

A.J stretches out his arm so the phone is farther away. “Better?”

“Yup, better.”

Clem simmers off to the side, out of the camera's view. A.J can be a real pain sometimes.  

“So, uh, is Clem there? Or did you steal her phone?”

“Clem's here!” Before she can tell him no, A.J is shoving the phone in her face. “Say hi, Clem!”

She was not prepared to see anyone today, let alone Louis of all people. For one, she's still in her pajamas--which consists of an old, faded college shirt from Lee and grey sweats—and her hair is a mess. She's not one to fret over appearances, but this is a bit much. She wills her cheeks to remain their normal shade as she greets him with a wave. “Hey, Louis.”

“Hi, Clem.” He appears to be in his room—if the bed and books are anything to go by. He's wearing a white t-shirt, looking relaxed. “I'm assuming A.J is the one who called me?”

“He—”

A.J turns the phone towards himself, interrupting her with his own sentence. “Yeah! I wanted to say hi.”

Louis chuckles. “I'm flattered. How are you, little man? Doin’ okay?”

“Mhm,” A.J hums. “Can I show you my Monster Alliance collection?”

Louis blinks, caught off guard. “S-Sure thing.”

Clementine stands behind A.J and rests her chin on his shoulder so their heads are side by side. She mouths, “I'm sorry” to Louis, unbeknownst to her little brother. Louis’ mouth twitches in a smirk.

“Lemme show you my room,” A.J says before he's off, gallivanting out of Clem's room and down the hallway.

“Don't hog the phone, A.J!” She calls after his retreating form. “I need it back!”

“I won't!”

Poor Louis. Clementine laughs inwardly, comparing his situation to a prisoner being carried away against their will. She's sat through one of A.J's Monster Alliance lectures before—they're not short. The kid knows enough information about the game to conduct his own class on it.

It's a good thing Louis is kind enough to listen. However, Clem finds herself restless in the absence of their conversation. She wishes A.J didn't have to interrupt their conversation.

Chatting with Louis was the highlight of her Sunday. Clem doesn't remember the last time she felt so comfortable talking to someone who wasn't her immediate family.

Yes, she's comfortable with Ruby, Omar, and Aasim—but there's an uninhibited comfort that can't be explained with Louis.

It softens her—makes her feel mellow.

But now she has to wait for A.J to finish talking to him and who knows how long that'll take.

So she pulls out her notebook and starts studying for her biology quiz because now's as good a time as any.

An hour full of microfilaments and microtubules passes before A.J barrels into her room a second time.

“So Vextaur doubles as a support and a defender,” Louis' voice comes from the phone in A.J's hand.

“Yup,” A.J says. “But a lot of players only use Vextaur as a support. That leaves their backline open for attack.”

Clem furrows her brows, not understanding a word of their conversation.

“Wow, I gotta remember that. Good tip, A.J,” Louis says.

“I can show you how to play next time you come over!” A.J stands next to Clem while she sits on her bed. He covers the screen with his hand and whispers, “Can you invite Louis over so we can play Monster Alliance?”

Clem snorts. “He can still hear you, A.J.”

“Please, Clem!” A.J begs.

“I’ll come over soon, little guy, I promise,” Louis says, his face still blocked under A.J’s hand.

A.J removes his hand to show his sudden grin. “Okay!”

“A.J!” Lee’s deep voice travels from downstairs. “Come here!”

Clem and A.J glance at each other in question. He hands the phone to Clem as he says, “I have to go! Bye!”

“Alright! See you, buddy!” is Louis’ farewell. A.J is gone in a second, leaving Clem in her room by herself.

“I’m so sorry,” Clem says, situating herself against her pillows. “How was A.J’s lesson?”

Louis seems to have his phone propped on something because both of his hands are free as they drag down his face. “My head hurts.”

Clem laughs. She knows that feeling.

#sorry if it ends abruptly #i stopped in the middle of this scene and abandoned it LOL #chap 7 will be out hopefully this weekend #i know i always say that but im rly writing it nonstop rn #love u all #instantcrush #clouis #louisentine

[petri808]

Pizza and a Movie

@nalulovelovefest -Day 5 Ecstatic.  Lol, I know the title is horrible but I couldn’t think of anything else.  FT City Hero inspired.  Rated M- NSFW  @random-rave thank you for the idea!

Chief Makarov Dreyar called his current star enforcers into his office.  For cracking the largest potion smuggling ring in Magnolia’s history, he decided to give them the weekend off as a reward.  “Get out of here you brats, I don’t wanna see you all weekend is that clear?  I don’t care what you do with your time just enjoy your bust.”

Officer’s Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfillia thank the Chief and head to the locker rooms to gather their belongings but as they exit, their friend’s corner them in the breakroom to see what their plans were.  The others had hoped they wanted to party, maybe at a bar or restaurant but the pair feign exhaustion with plans to get take-out food and relax.  Of course, there was some light teasing about where this relaxing would take place or more like in whose arms they’d be relaxing in. But both of the officer’s act like they had no idea what the others were talking about, they were just partners and best friends that was all.  

“Uh huh,” Officer Gray Fulbuster taunts his friends, “I doubt Team NaLu is just gonna kick back with a pizza and a movie, unless it’s an action  movie.”

But Lucy just pats Gray’s cheek, “you can go make an action movie with Officer Loxar, me I’m more into romantic comedies.”  They leave the blushing Fullbuster, stuttering and fending off said Loxar who’d miss-heard the cues and came rushing over.  “Have fun Gray!”  

They were pretty sure he was cursing them out long after they’d left the station house and walked the few blocks to Lucy’s apartment.  “So,” Natsu teases his partner, “am I the romantic comedy?”

“Mmm,” Lucy taps her chin, “sometimes…”

“Oi, sometimes?” ticking her sides, “how much more romance do you need?”

She giggles and swats at his hands, “you’re like an action comedy.  But I’m not your girlfriend just for the romance.”

Natsu smirks, “you like my action  huh?  Sure, seemed like it when you were callin my name the other night.”

Her face turns crimson and she punches his arm in a faux indignation, “stop making me blush in public! If anyone sees us…”

“Eventually everyone will figure it out.”

“Well for now, I like keeping it a secret just between us, kinda like a jewel we’re hoarding for ourselves.”

“Okay, okay,” he laughs, “so what are we gonna do tonight?  Pizza and a movie didn’t sound like a bad idea.”

Lucy looks up at him with a coquette grin, “Sure…. Maybe to start with…”

While Natsu waits for the pizzaman to arrive, Lucy decides to take a nice hot shower.  It’ll be nice to get out of her uniform and into something more comfortable all fresh and clean.  She figures it’ll be at least 30 minutes anyways till the pizza gets there so she follows her routine, touching up on her shaving, washing her face, then sets the water running.  Just as she’s about to pull the shower curtain closed, Lucy hears the front door open and smiles.  

A few minutes into her lathering, rough hands encircle her waist, “mmm, do you need assistance ma’am?”

“Oh, I don’t know officer, maybe you could help me with a few areas,” exaggerating a lack of reach, “that I can’t seem to get to.”  

Lips ghosting against her lobes, “I’m always willing to help out for the greater good.”

Natsu takes the sponge from Lucy squeezing it over her breasts to let a trail of soap run down. His hands take control, spreading the suds across her skin, rubbing, polishing, making sure to catch the valley’s and crevasses under the large mounds.  He teases her nipples, pinching and rolling the perky little knobs until their nice and taut.  His lips torment her ears, she has the cutest little ears, perfect for nibbling in his opinion, worrying the ridges, tracing them with his tongue, pulling out delectable shivers and sighs from his woman.  

But she wasn’t the only one on the receiving end, her hand woven behind to stroke Natsu’s manhood while the other weaved into his hair.  Lucy fondles his cock, massaging the shaft, thumbing along the sensitive areas, even molesting his balls to gain a few extra groans from the man.  The more groans he makes, the faster her strokes increase.

“Are you having fun,” his whimpering moans bring a smile to her face.

“Yup,” the smirk evident in her tone.  

Well so much for light teasing.  “Ooh, you little vixen,” he chuckles, cause two could play at this game.  Without any warning, no taunting of her clit or toying with her pussy, nope, Natsu slips two fingers right on in her hole, shoving them as deep as he can reach.  Lucy squeaks from the sudden intrusion.  He nips the nape of her neck, “Now imma have some fun…”  

Pumping his fingers at an intense pace with a slight curl at the end, Natsu gives her no reprieve, even keeping a tight grip on her hip to keep her from wiggling away.  Lucy’s moans escalate and her molestations of his cock stagger or pause.  The fingers she had playing with his hair now tug the harder he pumps.  “N-Natsu..  s-stop! I don’t wanna…. nyaa… not yet….”  

“Should’a thought of that sooner my love, you know how competitive I am.”

“P-Plea…se…. too… clo…”

He switches tactics, pulling out his fingers spreading her legs with his knee, and shoving his cock inside her.  Natsu keeps up the relentless pounding on her pussy, rocking his hips with such force, both of her hands reach up and hold on around his neck for dear life.  He keeps his hold around her waist or hips helping to drive her back onto his cock like a two-prong assault.  

But she really had been on the verge and in no time at all, her walls clamp down around his shaft. Lucy’s screams echo in the small bathroom as each wave of her orgasm hits, spurred on by the continuing friction his cock was generating on her pussy. Bloody hell, the climax wasn’t coming down!  And Natsu wasn’t stopping either, his thrusts only escalating in force.  Over and over he rammed his cock into her hole like man a mission to conquer.  

“Fuck Luce…” his own grunts start to turn a higher octave.  Natsu didn’t wanna go out just yet, but her freaking muscles were squeezing the hell out of dick!  His assault weakens a tad from quick paced jabs to longer strides and plunges letting them both savor the heated contact for a little longer.  “You always… do this to me…”

“M-Me!” she wails, “it’s you and your competitive shit!”

“You feel to fucking good!” Natsu feels the damn about to burst...  “Aww fuck!” But that’s all she gets when Natsu turns her towards the wall.  On instinct, Lucy’s hands prop against it while his legs began to tremble slightly.  But he pushed through, his moans mirroring the pulses from his cock, and his thrusts easing back like a record winding down. With his forehead resting against the cool tile, “wholly shit.”

“That was intense, my fucking arms are like jello,” Lucy wants to just collapse.  “We really need a shower now!”

“Yeah…” chucking too, “waters cold already but I can heat it up…

Two hours later when shift change was finally over, Gray, Erza, and a few others rush over to Lucy’s apartment hoping to finally catch the pair doing something.  They suspected that their friends were no longer platonic despite their insistence.  Gajeel picks the front door lock and the whole group barges in, “Busted!...”

But all they find is movie credits rolling on the TV, a half-eaten pizza on the counter, Natsu sitting on the couch with Lucy’s head simply resting on his shoulder passed out. Nothing remotely sexual going on.

Erza slaps Gray’s shoulder, “you said we’d catch something!”  

“Oi they’re asleep, fight outside you idiots,” Levy pushes everyone out the door, “told ya nothin was going on between them!”

Once Levy’s got everyone out and is about to close the door, she takes one last look and sees Lucy’s peaking up from Natsu’s shoulder.  She gives Lucy a knowing wink and gets a ‘thank you’ mouthed back by Lucy.  

“Hmmm…” Natsu stretches and throws an arm around Lucy’s shoulders, “what was that noise?”

“Oh nothing,” she kisses his cheek, our secret lives on…

#nalulovefest #nalulovefest2018 #day 5 #ecstatic #nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #NatsuxLucy #natsu x lucy #natsu and lucy #nalu fanfiction #nalu fanfic #fan fiction #petri808

[estonem1]

When I told you Imma start getting over you I hoped so. “Wounds heal over time”. For whatever or whoever they are. At least thats what people say.

But the sad truth is my wounds didnt heal. Not fully. Not yet. But neither the world ended as I though it will. Doors open and close, people come and go. All the time i was standing in the corner hopeless, convincing myself it will all pass; most times i hit the ground grasping for air with pain in my chest so intense I wished I was dead. I swear I hope that not even the people that did me dirty to experience this. So am not so sad about some things as i used to be but thats not healed i think cuz tears keep falling down my face when I remember. Imma say Im used to it. Cuz its the only thing I could do. Many times I ve asked myself why this have to happen to me? Will everytime I start to get better something worse have to happen to bring me even lowest. Till when? I fear happiness. I really do. Like nothing good ever stays with me. I lost myself many times but somehow Im always back on track, soul hurt but never hardened even after all. Feelings are for the brave they say. So I guess I am brave. I got this on my own rn and I always did.

But in the world where everything is so temporary choosing to be permanent is insane I think. It hurts being the only one tryna hold on everything, its foolish. Its useless and it leaves you bleeding.

But I guess some souls are restless and yet never tired. Somehow they always find strength.

And I refuse the world to make me hard. I ll never be like them. I hope so. I will never lose you because of my pride. I will triple text and not be ashamed to show you that I care for you. And if I say that I care for you more than I care for me, dont ever doubt that. Also I wont show less attention and interest in you just for you to not take me for granted. Never. I’m letting you know that you mean the world to me. That my feelings for you wont fade. I trust you with my secrets. You ll have me by your side as long as you decide you want to. They all say trust my words but I ll tell you watch my actions and judge by them. My words fail many times and you know Im tongue before brain. I may sometimes say things that dont look like me (like tryna appear unbothered) and I keep forgetting that you know my soul. Also I wont ever leave you wondering.

But lemme keep this straight. I wont beg for you. Wont beg for you to stay and be by my side. Thats the most heartbreaking thing ever. And my heart aches remembering my mothers eyes begging for my dads presence. Me begging for dunno what cuz i was so confused like i had to carry the whole weigth of the world on my shoulders. Feeling so small and worthless while you have whole universe inside you so loveable.

I dont know what happend that thought you and shaped you like this. You remember times when I told you that I cant figure you out but i know there s something. For everything there s a reason. I believe there s much more to be understood underneath the surface. I wont even beg you for you to open up to me I ll just ask from you to trust me with your soul. To give me your hand in mine, fingers intertvined with mine and trust me that everything you go through I am by your side always. Let me be your strength. Help me understand your reasons.

Cuz there is a reason for everything.

Like there is a reason that I met you. That you walked in my life and flipped it upside down. I had my trust broken, my heart was betrayed and shattered into milion pieces tried to handle it all , all by myself. So I know how being introvert and all alone feels like and Im glad that Im not like that with you. Its not that I wont be able to live without you the thing is that i dont want to. Dont ever want to remember how life before meeting you felt.

So Pleasepleaseplease. I know that you arent as you used to be and that you are not the same with the others and me and Im glad for this. Open up to me try it you are not weak not shame not worthless I promise you!

Tell me your problems from the past and presence, your shitty days, your fears, your passions, your dreams- lets share everything. I know I never stop talking but Im such a good listener. When I overreact its because I love you and I care for you. Trust me with your secrets. Its just me and you.

Being like this in a world like this hurts like hell aint gon lie but whats the point of being like all? Pretending that u dont give a fuck about anything or even worse not even pretending. Is that how its supposed to be? Am i the one who s wrong or its the others? I m giving you my hand and in the other you got the gun with you finger on the trigger.

So teach me :)

At least thats real love I think. Finding that one person and showing them how vunerable you are and they deciding to never leave your side. Loving you when your are least loveable (You when I was all curled up in bed, face black from the ruined make up, shaking and crying my soul out)

And remember Its was worth it, it is and it will be. Because in the world so temporary you made me happy and glad that im yours so many times that i ll use them wisely enough to survive for a lifetime❤️

At least I ll try

I hope this never happens, Me to never be without you and you to be the one that decides to always be by my side and never gives up on us. But whatever happens, wherever life brings you if you r ever in doubt just remember my eyes watering when Im telling you “I love you” and remember my body warmth when I hug you- I ll be always by your side.

Ps gotta stop now mom s bringing me a lunch and my face s all red from crying ily

#dedicated to u #spilled thoughts