#itshtf
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If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Pt XVIII
This is the last part of this. Of a story that I was pretty certain I wouldn’t finish and just posted the bit I had in my scraps and snippets tag for a lark. You read that, and you liked it, and your response made me want to try and finish it. And so here we are, ~29k finished fic.
Thank you for the support.
Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, pt VI, pt VII, pt VIII, pt IX, pt X, pt XI, pt XII, pt XIII, pt XIV, pt XV, pt XVI and pt XVII.
New York is big and loud and filthy and expensive.
Kurt's first apartment had been an absolute rathole. He'd shared it with four others, and his “room” had been a repurposed coatroom. There had been just enough place for a bed and a tiny table instead of a desk. He'd only brought the most necessary in way of clothing, and with the exception of two shirts hanging from a nail in the wall he'd been forced to keep everything in a suitcase under the bed.
He'd moved out after a month, tired of never being able to keep food in the kitchen, weary of the nicks surrounding the lock on his door – he'd replaced the old one day 1, but even the best of locks only went so far – and fed up with having to carry all his valuables with him at all times.
Luckily the Warbler network had activated and Trent's older brother had offered up his guest room (and if that wasn't a sign of wealth, a student in New York with a guest room, then Kurt didn't know what was) for the rest of the year provided Kurt find someplace else to spend the night on those occasions it was needed. During the fall it'd mostly been solved by Sebastian coming to visit and the two sharing a cheap hotel room, and during the fall by Kurt spending the night at Sebastian's apartment. It had been tempting to move in with Sebastian then, but Kurt had resisted and they both agreed they'd become stronger for it.
Living together had been tough, especially since Sebastian had a lot more money available than Kurt. They'd managed to find a balance though and looking back Kurt feels proud of the work they'd put in to make it work. Three years (and counting) together and these days Kurt is willing to proclaim that Sebastian is as much of a perfect boyfriend as it's possible to be.
Yes, New York is still loud and filthy and big, but it's also full of light and laughter and love. Kurt's learned to find his way around both city and school, and he's on track for graduation with excellent prospects. Life is good.
Of course, that kind of means he's overdue for a cold shower and unfortunately it comes as cold and icy as is possible.
“Blaine. I guess I should have known you'd turn up.”
Like a bad penny, Kurt thinks. His ex-boyfriend just smiles wider at the words, clearly not picking up on the undertones.
“Yes! I'll always come back to you, Kurt. We're meant to be – you're my soulmate.”
Kurt shudders. All these years, and he still haven't gotten over his negative reaction to those words.
“Yeah, I'm pretty sure you and I have different interpretations of what those things mean. Personally I can't see how someone who walked out of my life without a word years ago could be considered my 'soulmate', but that's me.”
“That's not fair! I never wanted to leave you, but my parents made me.”
Blaine does this thing with his face that resembles what Kurt remembers of Blaine's “I've apologized, sort of, and you should forgive me now” expression and Kurt thinks that if Blaine could see himself he'd never ever do it again. It's not pretty. It kind of looks like he's about to shit his pants, frankly.
“Right. Your parents. And why, exactly, were they so determined to get you out of Lima without saying goodbye?”
Blaine flinches, and Kurt can see the realization hit him. Strange. It's as if he never even thought about the possibility that Kurt would know about the lies Blaine had told. Emotions run across Blaine's eyes and face, one after the other, and Kurt just waits without even trying to figure out what's going through his ex's mind. He's beyond caring.
“Kurt, I... I, I have a confession to make. When I got home that last night, my parents, they were waiting up for me. They made assumptions, and I, I let them.”
Blaine's face twists, and a couple of tears start falling. Kurt would be touched, really he would, except he happens to know that Blaine can cry on command.
“I know I shouldn't have, I know it was wrong, I was just so afraid! I thought they'd throw me out, and so I kept quiet and did what they wanted. I'm so sorry I did that to you.
“I love you, Kurt!”
The thing is, he can remember when those words from Blaine's lips would make him melt. That's no longer true. Now he listens to them like he would a performance, and he finds them lacking. He should have gone for soft instead of intense, a hint of tears maybe, not volume and anger.
This isn't school though, even though it very much is a performance, nor is it worth critiquing. It's not worth anything, really. Kurt sighs a little, just wanting all of it to be over and Blaine to be gone.
“Here's the thing. I understand, I guess. In your shoes I would have been worried to tell my dad the truth too. I think just about every teenager out there would be at least a little afraid to tell their parents they got drunk and stupid.
“But I also think that just about every teenager out there knows that there's some kind of middle-ground between 'I got drunk and tried to rape my boyfriend' and 'my boyfriend drugged me and tried to rape me'. Except apparently you didn't. You just went with what would get you of the hook the fastest and easiest.”
“Hey! That's not fair!”
“Oh, it isn't? You doing what you did is okay, but me calling it what it was is unfair? Now, why am I not the least bit surprised that that's how you feel?
“You know, at first I didn't understand how you could do it. How you could say you loved me and then not just leave me, but let your parents believe that I would do something like that to you. Well, that you could let anyone think I'd do that to anyone.
“But as I said, I understand why you did it.”
A triumphant look flash up in Blaine's eyes. Oh, he's doing a pretty good job at hiding it – much better than he would have been able to as a teenager – but Kurt knows him, and he's looking for it.
“You threw me under the bus because you knew it'd be an easy out. You could have told your parents something else, anything else, but you chose the worst possible lie – one you had to have known would get me in trouble. You did it because it was easy, and it would get you of the hook – maybe even get you some sympathy instead of the punishment you deserved – and you did it because that was all you cared about. You.
“I always knew you were a bit self-involved, but I told myself it was just part of you being a performer. A healthy ego's pretty much a must, and I used to think that was it. Except it turned out you were so focused on you, and your needs and wants, that nothing else mattered. Certainly not me.
“It took me a while to accept, but I know now that regardless of what you said you didn't love me. Not really. You might have thought you did, but Blaine? Love means that the other person's just as important to you as you yourself are. And I never was that to you.”
He ignores Blaine's protests and just continues, projecting his voice to be heard over the barely restrained excuses and lies.
“The truth is that your lack of empathy and care for other people borders on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and quite frankly I am better off for not having you remain in my life. Just don't expect me to thank you for it though.
“No one else will either. Do you realize how many people you worried with your little disappearing act? There was quite a few at Dalton who were convinced that your parents had shipped you off to conversion camp. They were counting down until your 18th birthday and from what I heard there was even the beginning of a fund to pay your way at Dalton if you escaped and were disowned.”
There's a triumphant gleam in Blaine's eyes. Clearly he's pleased about his friends being so worried about him and so ready to help him out. Kurt just wants to stomp that light out. Violently.
“Then when you didn't resurface after your birthday a few started worrying that your parents had you in a mental hospital, and there was talk of trying to stage some kind of rescue. That only lasted so long, of course.
“You see, somehow it's hard to convince anyone that their friend is practically jailed and in need of a rescue when they're seen out and about clubbing in L.A.. After all, these days everyone carries a phone, so the idea that you were unable to contact someone – anyone – and ask for help went up in flames pretty quick after that.”
Thad had been so angry that he'd made sure every single Dalton student that had ever know Blaine found out, and even the boy's most die-hard supporters had given up then and there.
They'd all understood not wanting to getting into a conflict with your family, especially when said family usually paid for college and any possible trust funds tended to be under the family's control for a while longer. What they hadn't understood was Blaine's total lack of communication. Email telling them that Blaine was okay but under orders not to contact anyone from Ohio would have gone a long way to ease worries, and was, they felt, the very least he owed them.
“Funny thing about you showing up here now? I can't help but remember that you turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. You didn't happen to get access to a trust fund then did you? Not that I actually care, but there are some old bets to settle.”
There wasn't, not really, but enough Warbler had warned Kurt about this very scenario with an added “I bet he shows up afterwards, thinking you'll take him back” for it to not quite be a lie.
Blaine splutters before launching into a long row of “explanations”, one more shitty than the other. It's obvious that he didn't expect Kurt to be angry with him, but instead to be welcomed with open arms. It's even sounding as if Blaine expected Kurt to take him back and just let him slide back into his life as if nothing had happened. Kurt isn't quite sure if Blaine intended for him to move in with Kurt and start a new life in New York, or if the idea was for Kurt to give up everything and follow Blaine back to L.A., but both options are equally ridiculous.
“Stop. Just, stop. I told you, I don't care. If you want to get in touch with any of your old friends from Dalton and McKinley and explain all of it to them, do so. But you don't need to explain anything to me. I don't want to hear it. Your window for explaining yourself to me closed years ago. It closed after you let your parents walk into a police station ready to have me charged with rape.
“Nothing you can say will ever make that okay. Nothing you say can make me forgive you.”
Kurt stops himself and takes a deep breath. There's so much he could say, so many accusations that could be made, so much hatred to be poured out.
Blaine's actions had gotten Kurt into trouble, and could have landed him in jails. They'd been what had stopped Burt Hummel from running from reelection after being asked – while nothing had come from the Andersons' accusations there had still been enough people who had known about it for it to leak and ruin a political career. After all, who cared if it was true when it made for a good weapon? And “local congressman buries son's rape charge” made for a great weapon.
Kurt had been willing to risk it, but his dad hadn't wanted to. Had it leaked the only way to prove Kurt's innocence would have been to make the video of Blaine trying to assault Kurt public. No good parent does that to their kid had been Burt's position, and Kurt had been grateful.
That didn't mean he wasn't aware of exactly how much that had cost not just his dad but the whole state. The man who'd replaced his dad had been the kind of bigot that wasn't good for anyone, not even his followers.
Kurt still blames Blaine for that, and even if he'd been insane enough to consider forgiving everything else he's never forgiving that. The chance of making Blaine understand any of that is minuscule though. The chance of him caring is even less.
There is, simply put, no point in spending even another second on trying to get through to him.
“You're not welcome here. Please leave. Goodbye Blaine.”
Once the door is closed and locked behind Blaine Kurt finally relaxes. He's closing the door on Blaine in more than one way, finally able to truly do that – because regardless of what he's hoped he's always known that one day his former boyfriend would pop up again.
“If he comes back you're filing for a restraining order.”
“He won't come back, Sebastian.”
“You don't know that. He did today, didn't he?”
It's obvious that Sebastian is coming from a place of care and worry, and Kurt feels himself soften. Blaine hasn't just been the monster under Kurt's bed during all of these years.
“Yes, he did, and no, I guess I can't really know. But honey, I really don't think he will. Blaine was reminded today that actions have consequences, and he found out I have the means to ensure said consequences. Coming after me and trying to change my mind is more work than he's ever shown himself willing to put in.
“After all, he's not the kind to stick around when the spit hits the fan.”
Luckily Sebastian is.
~ The end ~
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If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Pt XVII
This is the penultimate part. The last one is written and drafted - I did finish while on vacation. Expect it for next weekend.
Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, pt VI, pt VII, pt VIII, pt IX, pt X, pt XI, pt XII, pt XIII, pt XIV, pt XV and pt XVI.
It's as everything happens in May. Kurt feels as if he should be used to it by now, but this year is worse than any before. It's understandable, he guesses, what with it being his senior year, but understanding doesn't help. Some of the squares on his wall calendar has so many things on them they're barely legible, and there are days when he wants to just quit it all.
He can always work in his dad's garage for the rest of his life. Surely that's not the worst thing ever?
The only reason he's not a complete wreck when Nationals comes is the Warblers meeting held right after Regionals where David had used logic (how dare he) and suggested their approach to Nationals.
Kurt's first, immediate reaction is “we're never going to win with that” which he also says out loud, only to be met by “so what”.
“I don't say this lightly. I've been a Warbler for four years. It's been amazing to be surrounded by all of these talented people, and make music just because we like it, and that's why I've kept it up even with all the hints I've gotten that my 'future career' would be better served by me spending that time on learning another language or studying harder. After all, what use is singing and dancing for a lawyer?”
There's a bitterness in David's voice, and it's echoed in a number of murmurs around the room.
“This is the one thing I do for fun, that I do just for me, and some days the only thing that makes slogging through my mountain of homework bearable is knowing that once I'm done I can go enjoy Warblers. This year's group hold more talent of all my years here, which is why it hurts to say that I don't think we can win, no matter what setlist we go on with. We're simply not the kind of group that wins a contest like this.”
Which, probably true. The Warblers are good, yes, but they're an all boys a capella group performing in uniforms. They don't have the productions that teams who wins Nationals do. Doesn't mean that it hurts just as much to hear as it hurts to say.
“The truth is – and I'm sorry, I know we don't talk about him, but I have to – the truth is that we didn't even compete before Blaine.”
Kurt expects it to sting to hear his name. It does, but not much. He's moving past that.
“Blaine walked in here and wanted to compete so badly. He spent his first semester here trying to talk us into trying, even with all the reasons we had for not going so, and he got his way. That doesn't change the fact that this is only our second year competing, and we've surpassed all expectations by making it to Nationals. To do so again and win, or even place in the top... I don't think we can do that, not even with all the talent in this room.”
No one likes hearing that, but no one's disagreeing either. They aren't going to win. That's just how it is.
“So why not do that we like? Why don't we pick songs we like and that showcases our strengths? Why don't we sing a song that will make you happy, Kurt? And if it knocks us down in the ranking to do so, who cares? I don't.”
To hear someone say that Kurt's happiness should matter more than placement – to hear David say it, after everything the year before – causes tears to well up in his eyes. To hear every single Warbler agree make those tears fall.
They'd walked out of that meeting stronger than they'd gone in, and Kurt lets himself gather strength from that memory for a few seconds before he steps forward and lets his voice soar.
“Something has changed within me, something is not the same / I'm through with playing by the rules, of someone else's game”
They finish eleventh. It's better than they'd dared to hope, with all the absolutely excellent teams competing. It the joy is tinged with a little bitterness? Who can blame them? Maybe, more than one of them wonders, a more conventional setlist could have placed them among the top ten. At the same time they're all aware that maybe it would have have placed them dead last. There's no way of telling, and no use speculating.
They did their best, enjoyed their performance and finished eleventh at Nationals. That's nothing to look down on. In fact...
“We did better than New Directions last year” Kurt says with a smirk.
They've beaten his old team, his so-called friends, in every way possible and he allows himself to see that as a win.
Finn posts video of all their songs on his Facebook and is proud (and smug) enough to also post the “Defying Gravity” performance in the Glee group with a comment about how Kurt obviously could hit that note, tagging both Rachel and Mr Schue. It's petty, and Kurt should be big enough of a person to ask Finn to remove it, but no. If his brother wants to stand up for him Kurt isn't just going to let him, he's going to be grateful.
Feeling loved and protected is not something he's ever going to scoff at.
Nationals is followed by finals, the less said about the better, and then prom. Or well, “the Dalton Academy and Crawford County Day Joint Spring Formal”. Same thing right?
Wrong.
The spring formal is every thing junior prom wasn't. It's not really the fact that Sebastian asks Kurt properly to be his date for the formal, and compliments his outfit. It's not that even without decorations Dalton's auditorium is more grand than McKinley's gym. It's not even the grand dinner with lit candles, waiters and three courses before the dance or that there's a band that plays waltzes and foxtrot for the first two hours before the DJ is allowed to take over.
It's that even before they've entered the transformed dining hall Kurt spots half a dozen same-sex couples, a number that keeps going up during the evening. It's the fact that he gets to dance the whole evening, not in a group or with a girl, but with Sebastian and the occasional Warbler. Mostly it's Sebastian's arms he's in, and it's amazing.
It's so far from his junior prom and Blaine that it almost hurts.
“Is there something wrong?”
“No. Everything is... This year everything is perfect.”
Sebastian doesn't look entirely convinced, but decides to drop it and instead lean closer for a kiss.
The evening really is perfect.
The morning of his birthday Kurt walks into the dining hall alone only to be met with a table full of Warblers that stand up and sing for him as soon as he clears the door. There's one place left at the table, next to Sebastian, set with the kind of breakfast not even Dalton serves (fresh croissant, strawberries, a piece of brie and a one-person pot of tea) with a rainbow rose in a vase. Kurt sits down with a smile and leans over to kiss his boyfriend's cheek.
“So, rainbow roses are going to be our thing, is it? I love it.”
He spends the day with a smile on his lips, because his boyfriend took the time to do something special for him on his birthday and his friends have promised cake in the Warblers' room after dinner, and he feels loved.
“Cake” turns out to be cheesecake and presents, and more singing, and so much more smiling. Afterwards Sebastian walks him back to his room. There's no kissing though, which Kurt finds unacceptable.
“Isn't there some kind of rule that you get kisses on your birthday? I would have thought that was a part of the boyfriend experience, and to be honest I'm feeling very much unkissed.”
That nets him a crooked smile, but still no kisses. It's almost enough to worry him.
“You can have all the kisses you want, and not just on your birthday, you know that babe. However, there's something else I wanted you to have first.”
Sebastian pulls out a small package from him pocket and hands it over with a smile, which begins to fade when Kurt doesn't immediately take it. It's just, well.
“Another present? You shouldn't have.”
“Another? What do you mean?”
The truth is that Kurt fully expected breakfast and a rose to be the whole of Sebastian's congratulations, and he doesn't quite know how to take getting more than that. He doesn't really know how to explain it though, and definitely not in a way that won't start Sebastian on another rant about how Blaine was unworthy of Kurt's affection. Especially since it's not just about him.
Turns out he doesn't need to say anything – and apparently he's getting yet another present in the form of the absence of that rant.
“Breakfast was a treat. This is your actual present, which I hope you'll like at least as much as that.”
Sebastian looks a little worried as Kurt removes the paper and opens the small box inside (and if he's a little shaky to open a jewelry box from his boyfriend no one needs to know). It's a pair of gorgeous cufflinks with just the right balance between classy and unique and he absolutely loves them.
“These are amazing! They're too much, really, but they're so gorgeous that I'm going to pretend they're not. I love them!” I love you. But that's a bit too early to say, and so instead he leans forward and does his absolute best to communicate exactly that through kissing.
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If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Pt XVI
Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, pt VI, pt VII, pt VIII, pt IX, pt X, pt XI, pt XII, pt XIII, pt XIV and pt XV.
Three weeks after Regionals Kurt auditions for NYADA. It's bittersweet, what with applying there having been a Kurt-and-Rachel thing and them no longer speaking to each other. There's also the fact that he's no longer as certain he wants to go there.
Either way he's going to do his best with the audition, because anything else would be shameful. However, between school, Warblers rehearsals and Sebastian he's got quite a packed schedule. Trying to fit in enough practice for a show-stopper number... A good talk with Ben helps him see just how unrealistic – and potentially harmful – that would be.
In the end he decides to play it smart. “As If We Never Said Goodbye” is a good audition song for him, even if he'd nixed it at first because he'd already done it for Glee. But having performed it before means he knows it, and even more importantly knows how to own the song. That reduces his stress levels by quite a bit and allows him to focus on fine-tuning his number instead of doing the stressful job of learning an entirely new song.
Kurt tries to imagine how preparation for the audition would have been had he still been friends with Rachel, and almost gives himself a migraine from it. There's no way Rachel would have accepted anything but total dedication, meaning anything else would have been left to suffer and well.
Teenagers aren't supposed to have issues with high blood pressure. Kurt has no desire to stand out when it comes to something like that.
Madame Tibideaux seems to like his audition (or is extremely good at hiding her distaste while claiming to like it) and Kurt walks away feeling good and calm. It's over. Out of his hands. If he gets accepted or not is up to others now. The important thing is that he's done his best.
He still can't help but wonder, a little, how it would have been to do this with Rachel. How he would have felt having her watching from the shadows and then returning the favor.
He finds he prefers doing it this way.
(Finding out from Finn that night that Rachel had bombed her audition by choking – on her “parade number” even! – is...well. Delicious.)
“So, dude, we need to talk about Sebastian.”
Kurt's not proud that his first, knee-jerk thought is to wonder what his boyfriend has done, if his current one is as bad as his former. He is proud, however, of how he shakes it off as fast as it came.
“Oh? And why exactly do we need to talk about him, Finn?”
“Graduation is coming up, and you've applied to a ton of schools and auditioned for a couple even. Meanwhile, Sebastian's got another year of high school left. How's that going to work, him here and you in New York?
“Because you are still going there, right?”
Ah. It's that talk.
“I don't know. Not about any of it, really. My top schools are in New York, true, and I do want to live there, but nothing's settled yet. I might not get in. I might get in, but not score any scholarship money or not enough grants, and not be able to afford going there.”
Saying it hurts, but Kurt's not really in a position to afford ignoring the harshness of reality. The performing arts is a tough business, in every way, and so's New York.
“I might get accepted at another school, that does want to give me money, and go there instead.
“I just don't know.
“I also don't know what'll happen with me and Sebastian, but as it stands right now I want to try and stay together, and he tells me he wants that too.”
That had been a difficult discussion for Kurt, even worse than some of the sex ones they've had, but it had been worth it.
“Like me, Sebastian likes the idea of New York. He's applying to several schools there, or within a couple of hours. He's got enough money to come visit over the weekend at least twice a month, and he says he's willing to do that.”
Sebastian's also on track for graduating a semester early, thanks to the difference between Dalton and his former school in Paris, but since it's not a given Kurt's not bringing that up.
“Okay, that sounds good. You two going to live together if you both end up in New York?”
Finn sounds so earnest and doesn't look the least bit uncomfortable. Kurt remembers when that would not have been the case and applauds his development, but at the same time he kind of misses the Finn who would never talk about what Kurt would do with his boyfriend, because this conversation is making Kurt uncomfortable. Or well, something along the lines of anyway.
“No. Not at first at least. If we stay together then one day, sure, but I really think we would both benefit from living on our own for a little. Even if 'on our own' probably means with half a dozen or so roommates – at least for me.”
It's tempting to avoid that by living with Sebastian. So, so very tempting. That would borderline feel like Kurt's using Sebastian – and his money – though, which isn't something he want either of them to feel.
“But why?”
“If things go as planned I will have lived in New York for a while by the time Sebastian comes. I'll have had time to get my feet under me, make friends, learn the subway, the neighborhoods, the places to eat, shop and so on. I'll have a life started that's separate from what I, we have now. First of all, Sebastian deserves to have that, not just to be fitted into my life. Second, I deserve for him to have a life of his own where he's not constantly coming with me.
“A healthy relationship needs the people in it to be able to do things separately. Always doing things together, only having the same friends, and the same hobbies is... It makes me really uncomfortable, thinking about being in that position, okay? I want to stay an individual even if I'm in a relationship. I want to stay me.”
Unlike how it most likely would have been with Blaine.
“Ah, so like, how Rachel would expect me to do all of her stuff and just skip mine?”
“Well... Yes. I was thinking about Blaine, but it's true for her too. So I guess I got lucky twice.”
The thing is, Kurt's had time to think about all of this. No, it wasn't always about him and Sebastian, but that doesn't change anything. Kurt's known since before they started dating that they'd be separated after Kurt graduates, and that separation is tough on any relationship be it friendly or romantic. He's known all along that there's no guarantee that they'll end up in the same city, regardless of what they want now, or that their relationship would survive until Sebastian graduates.
Just as he knew when dating Blaine.
He's had time to think, and come to terms with reality, and he's no longer scared. Either he and Sebastian make it through what's to come, or they don't. Either way, the end of a relationship is not the end of the world.
It'd hurt like hell, yes, but Kurt knows he'd survive. He's already been through hell and come out stronger. He can do it again.
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I am very sad to see this story end. but the ending was perfect: Blaine being typical Blaine 'it's always someone else's fault and even if it's not I'll lie and say it is' and then being told that Kurt will never ever have anything to do with him and neither will any of his former Warbler fan club, and Kurt realizing that Blaine's possible reappearance has haunted not just him but also Sebastian. Kazillions of kudos, much love, and many thanks, your Basket Case anon.
Personally, I am actually both sad and not to see this end. Because yes, this is over now. But also wow, I actually finished it!
And I had such great company on the way! It hasn't always been easy to write this, but it has always been fun as I've gotten some amazing support.
I'm trying to ride the high of finishing this story into also finishing (Take) These Broken Wings and ...As Stupid Does, and I am actually willing to swear that I'll finish posting (T)TBW this fall if you're okay with switching to some kurtofsky instead.
Either way: thank you for every kind and encouraging message you've sent. They mean the world to me.
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Just finished my re-read of ITSHTF, including the latest chapter and a couple of the earlier ones -real life was interfering with my reading when those chapters went up. All I can say is Wow! This is so good and I am so delighted that you're sticking with it. Can't wait to see how this develops and find out what happened to Blaine (kinda hoping it's something with boiling oil in it...) Zillions of kudos, your 'Basket Case' Anon
Well, real life was interfering with me writing so... It happens. And regardless of how long after posting one of these messages comes (or how long after it comes that I finally manage to answer them) I always get such a rush from them.
The fun thing? I started posting this in scraps & snippets, because I didn't see how I'd manage to actually write the story. Yet here we are, 25+K later (according to the story doc, even if all of it's not posted yet) so apparently I could. And it's because of people like you, people encouraging me and telling me they liked what I was posting and wanted to know what was going to happen next.
I just love you people.
As it looks at the moment, this story has another couple post coming, and while I haven't finished writing the next one yet the last one is done. I hope you'll like it, oil or no oil....
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I loved everything about this chapter -the Warblers' "do what we want" approach; Kurt getting a solo and nailing it and Finn recording it and sending it to Rachel and Schue; finishing 11th / better than New Directions; Sebastian's caring at prom, Kurt's birthday breakfast treat, and then with a thoughtful present; the Warblers' serenading Kurt and offering cheesecake and presents...As Kurt says, "everything is perfect." Kazillions of Kudos!
Aw, thank you!
The fact that there's only one more part to go (posting tomorrow) is kind of scary when I look at this kind of support - because what if the ending doesn't live up to your expectations? And then I remind myself that there are some amazing people out there.
Doing what makes you happy is an underappreciated approach, but it's what I wanted for this, and it really pleased me that you liked it.
Thank you for another round of pep!
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Ooooh! Part XIII! I had just finished re-reading I-XII and was feeling so sorry for Finn and so angry at Rachel that I was primed for this chapter. The Kurt-Mercedes conversation was hard but also very satisfying: Mercedes needed some truth time, and Kurt needed to stand up for himself. Then, Kurt and the Warblers to the rescue! Go for Finn distraction! And it worked! And Kurt had time to think, and getting counseling is a great idea -- wish he'd encourage Finn to do so too. As always, SUPERB!
Thank you!
I want this story to be about getting in a healthier place, besides the fun I’m having with ripping certain behaviour to pieces. I think that one of the themes I tend to return to in regards to Glee is just “stand up for yourself” and this story is no different.
And yay for me having excellent timing when it came to posting then :)
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LOVED the end of Broken Wings! SO good! Kurt's smackdown of his homophobic classmates and Figgins, Dave and Kurt's dance, THE KISS - perfect! The ensuing break-ups, reconciliations, counseling, forging a strong and steady relationship together - also perfect! Most perfect of all, that you cared enough about your readers to finish the story. It's heartbreaking as a reader when you've faithfully read and commented and praised a story that gets abandoned. Thank you for NOT doing that. Your BC anon
I was always, always going to finish this story - I've had bits and pieces of even the last part written for longer than I care to admit. (Funnily enough? The story I didn't think I'd ever finish was ItSHtF. I even posted the first part stating that. And somehow that was finished first. Things are weird like that.)
Anyway. I was going to finish it, if for no other reason then because I was invested in it. You readers were, actually, not my prime reason and yet it made me so happy to see this weird little story get so well received.
At the moment I'm having a bit of a struggle with seeing the point in writing my stories down and posting them, but you - and others like you - make me want to keep doing so. You make me want to write new stories, just so I can see what you'll think of them.
That's the kind of impact that can never be underestimated. You're heard over the crickets, and I cannot thank you enough for that.
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Got a question about if I had a set update schedule for ItSHtF over on AO3 followed by a comment about re-reading in case they'd missed something in the story.
Yeah, you missed something. Like say the opening note stating I'll update every weekend...
*sigh* Humans.
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