#ive never ever seen anyone in aroace discussions do the same w/ “UH IF YOU WANNA THEN YOU CAN”

[lovelyrotter]

re my dumb tag ramble in my last post i guess it boils down to the bullshitery that is someone saying they dont eat. idk. donuts, bc they just dont like them, but then weighing in and butting into conversation about donut history and ppls right to eat donuts w/o getting shamed or called greedy or lustful or whatever, to just loudly declair that YOU dont eat donuts and youd rather eat LETTUCE instead and that you think donuts are kinda gross anyway. to a room full of people who enjoy donuts, or have otherwise complicated feelings about donuts. or used to be shamed for liking donuts and are just now coming back to letting themselves enjoy donuts safely. or used to be terrified of eating any kind of pastry bc of something in their past, and are only just now realizing that donuts arent scary at all and that they actually really like them! or people who like both donuts and lettuce at the same time and feel torn between liking these two things bc team donut shames them for liking lettuce and team lettuce shames them for liking donuts, and you screaming about just wanting lettuce in a donut-centric space is making them very nervous. if u say u dont sit at the donut-eating table and dont WANT to sit at the donut-eating table then dont get upset when ur opinion abt eating donuts isnt taken as the most prioritized one. when we're specifically talking about people who want to and who enjoy the very personal/complex act of eating donuts in peace. if you, yknow, get what im putting down

#my t #its just something that really burns me sometimes #we need aroace spaces to specifically talk about aroace stuff #but we also need spaces for people to talk about sex and also having sex ***especially for queer sex*** #w/o needing to interrupt ourselves with 'AND UM IF YOU DONT WANT TO YOU OBVS DONT HAVE TO YOU ARE VALID' like we KNOW #can we pleasseeee stop talking down to eachother like that its fucking weird #ive never ever seen anyone in aroace discussions do the same w/ “UH IF YOU WANNA THEN YOU CAN” #at least in the aroace spaces ive been in. there was always a 'i can finally relax cause these queers dont kiss' air to those spaces #what im saying is that the way we talk about sex (including the lack of having it) is inherently broken #if someone is talking about sex when u dont have sex its not about you #if someone is talking about NOT having sex when you do its not about you #its very simple