#jjxreaderangst

[mrsmaybank]

Six Months - JJ x Reader Angst

Summary: After a huge fight, JJ and the reader break up. Six months later, they see each other again. 

Inspired by Born To Die by Lana Del Rey :) Listen while you read!!! 

Content: Angst

TW: Language, Angst

A/N: Kinda sucks, kinda long. Sorry :(

“JJ, I swear. Get the fuck out of my face.” 

This was your biggest fight with JJ ever. You were both stubborn, and hot-headed. Like two toxic versions of each other, and in the back of your head, you always knew this relationship was born to die. 

“Y/N fucking listen to me! You have to!” he shouted back at you.

You laughed sadistically, “That’s where your fucking wrong JJ. I do not have to listen to you! Nothing that comes out of your mouth can be trusted anyways.” You spat. 

He scoffed, “Why?”

You practically screamed. Was he seriously going to play dumb right now? “You lied to me, made me feel like shit, all so I could hear from Topper of all people, that you fired a round of shots at a Kegger at the fucking boneyard? Give me a fucking break JJ. What was going through your fucking head? Oh I know. Nothing. You don’t think before you act. And that-” You scoffed, “That’s fucking dangerous.” 

“Oh god, alright mom. This is the way I have to handle things.” He got up into your face and looked right into your eyes, “Some of us have real problems that need to be dealt with. It’s something you wouldn’t understand.”

You spoke before thinking, “I’m not your mom JJ.” You stepped away from him. “I actually give a shit about you.” 

His eyes immediately filled with rage, he ripped the necklace he’d gifted you from your neck. Throwing onto the floor before telling you coldly, “Get the fuck out of here.” 

Your eyes stung and tears flooded out, “You piece of shit.” 

You ran out of the Chateau hysterical. The pain was visceral, and hard to put into words. You hopped in your car and drove through the dark road fast, too fast. The street lights were blurred with tears as you raced out of The Cut. You never wanted to be on this side of the island again, a burning sensation that your parents and old friends were right. JJ wasn’t for you. He was a reckless and stupid piece of shit, and you couldn’t change that. You arrived at your house for the first time in days, your mother opening the door to see you in tears, with a look on your face she wouldn't forget. It was the look of heartbreak and remorse. She bit her tongue, not wanting to tell you, “I told you so.” 

You old-new friends didn’t give you that courtesy. The first time they saw you, their words were filled with fake pity and intentions of embarrassing you, with cruel jokes pointed at JJ just to see if they could get a rise out of you.

“How’d your mission trip to The Cut go?” 

“Is Pogue sex crazy?” 

“Did you feel like a Red Cross worker or something?” 

At first you’d defend The Cut, but slowly you just laughed. Your break-up with JJ made you want to be something completely different. You wanted to change everything JJ liked about you. And slowly, you did start forcing yourself to change. You shallowly enjoyed the luxuries you were privileged with, instead of shenanigans in the van, your weekends were filled with country clubs, coke and Kooks. It was all meaningless though, as time continued, your pain could no longer be numbed with a false new identity.

It had been 6 months, half a year exactly since you’d seen or talked to JJ. You had a few words with John B and Pope, but they were short and dull, them mostly being weirded out by you now that you weren’t with JJ. 

The only one who had made an effort to keep in contact was Kie, and today was her birthday party. No matter how fucked up things had ended with JJ, Kie was your friend, and not attending her party would make you a bad one. 

You showed up to the Boneyard, a keg already set up and reggae music blasting. It was mostly Pogues and Tourouns, barely any Kooks seeing as this was Kie’s party. You quickly said Hi to Kie when she split from the other pogues for a half a second. She gave you a warm hug and told you to have fun. She’d invited you out of courtesy. Not out of friendship. 

You sighed and decided your best option was to get absolutely fucking wasted.

Two hours later, you were on the hammock, beyond drunk. Your soul ached for JJ. All you wanted was his arms around you and his lips on yours. You wanted to tell him you loved him, and that you were sorry. That he was your world, and you were so wrong. But you couldn’t, you just couldn’t. 

Had JJ known you were at this party, he probably would’ve been a mess. The only person who was going through it worse than you, was him. He was heartbroken and angry with you, but he’d lost the love of his life, for what he thought was forever. He’d seen you while working on Figure Eight, happy with your Kook friends and lifestyle. He’d noticed how all his favorite things about you had seemed to change. He couldn’t help but feel like he was just a phase in your life. A phase that you were relieved to finally be done with. 

His coping mechanisms were Pogue-style sure, but similar. Partying, weed, meaningless hook-ups, but he didn’t have any methods to completely change who he was, even though he wanted to. 

Tonight, he had been macking on a blonde Kook named Cassie, who he thought had the potential to be the next Kook turned Pogue. He hadn’t realized, but he was trying to find your replacement, and it was not working at all. 

He led her towards the hammock, unbeknownst to him that you were sitting upright in it. Sobbing hysterically. 

When you saw him, his arm around the waist of Cassie, your soul left your body. You gasped for air and a sob left your mouth. He quickly pulled away from her instinctively. ‘Get away from me.” he told her. She just scoffed and walked away. 

You vomited, and passed out.  

You woke up on JJ’s chest, his hands gently caressing your forehead. You looked around, JJ not noticing you had woken up. You guys were in JJ’s room in the Chateau.  You felt his hands go into your hair, giving you light scratches on your scalp, just like you would do to him. 

You felt tears fill your eyes, mostly because you knew how much you missed this, and how much you would miss it tomorrow and the next day, and the next one. You twitched a little, and he peered over, his bloodshot eyes looking into yours. You twisted upwards looking directly at him. He’d been crying. He gulped hard, “Can we talk?” 

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