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shinichirosbabymama · 7 years

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Happy Birthday Daddymenrah!

A/N: So today is the birthday of real bad bitch and GOAT @daddymenrah I decided to write her a little something following a hilarious conversation we had over whatsapp. Plus I’ve always been kinda equally horrified and fascinated by the thought of your fave finding your fanfic blog. But here we go, enjoy!!

‘Come on you guys, it’s bed time.’ Jeffrey cooed in a low voice to his chickens as they clucked and squawked as they made their way into their pen. It was dusk on the farm and time for his evening ritual.

Jeffrey made his way inside, stopping first to grab a beer from the fridge before firing up his laptop. It was once again his favourite time of day.

Jeffrey squinted at the keyboard over the top of his glasses as he slowly tapped in tumblr.com into the search engine (after searching for google directly through google chrome).

Once he had accessed the site he went immediately to the Neagan x reader tag - his personal favourite. Hell people really fucking loved this character and how could he blame them? He gave a low chuckle to himself at his own narcissism as the page loaded, his eyes searching anxiously for any new posts.

His heart skipped a beat when he spotted a new one - Professor Neagan. The title alone made the blood rush to his cock as he began to read. The story got hot really fast to the point where Jeffrey almost needed to palm himself out of frustration. This girl knew how to fuck. He could have spent himself on the first read right there but he decided to indulge.

He clicked on the URL - he had no idea what a 'menrah’ was but the daddy element was certainly attractive. He kept the imagine open in a separate tab as he began to scroll through the blog, the site of his own face across numerous gifsets pleasing him greatly. Maybe there’d even be pics of her.

His need continued to increase as his eyes flitted between the blog and the writing until he came across something that made his blood run cold. A man, who looked younger than him, was sprawled across the screen in front of him writhing around in some bed sheets.

'The fuck…’ Jeffrey hissed as he examined the tags daddymenrah had adorned this post with.

'Fuck’

'Daddy’

Each one was like a stab in the chest. Jeffrey cursed himself for allowing to think that just for a moment, he was her daddy and not this skinny little kid – Rami Malek.

What was so fucking special about him anyway? Against his better judgement he continued scrolling only to be met with more pictures, writing and declarations that she wanted to screw him. That was it. Jeffrey opened up her ask box (after taking 2 minutes just to find the damn thing) and typed out a quick message, the sound of his fingertips clattering on the keyboard filling the room.

Are you a Neagan blog or not? I don’t know who this other guy is but I like your Neagan writing the best.

Jeffrey rubbed the facial hair above his lip after he’d hit send. He hoped he hadn’t upset her with his impulsiveness. The thought stayed on this mind until he noticed a reply on the blog an hour later.

Well this is my blog after all if I want to write other characters then I will. Neagan will always be my priority but I’m open to other stuff. If you don’t like it don’t follow.

Jeffrey felt a stab of guilt in his chest – he’d been completely foolish to just message her so suddenly like that. He knew he had to make amends. Agitated, he began to think. After a few moments Jeffrey shoved his glasses higher up his nose as he focused on the screen. He knew what he had to do.

Jeffrey’s knowledge of tumblr had been limited to start with. But making his own blog took on a whole new level of technophobia. His paranoia led him to create a whole new email address which took nearly half an hour in itself. For the next six hours he carefully crafted his blog – titling himself Neagan’s bitch as he slowly filled the page with gifs and pictures. His follower count grew but barely.

Late that evening, exhausted by staring at the screen for hours on end, Jeffrey hovered his cursor over daddymenrah’s ask box once again. This time there was anonymity, no hiding. It was time to be Neagan’s Bitch.

Hey so I only just joined this site but can I just say your writing is fucking amazing. You write Neagan so well and so dirty! I think that’s my favourite part haha. Sorry if this is weird.

Jeffrey steepled his fingers until his chin, hoping that his little note was enough to make amends. He relaxed back into the couch, hoping to get out of his mind with some TV and the beer he’d long forgotten about earlier.

Jeffrey jumped awake a few hours later. The glow of the TV filled the dark room and he could feel dampness on his thigh where the last of the beer had spilled from his hand. He shot upright to grab a towel to dry himself with when he noticed tumblr still pulled up on his laptop.

As he approached the screen to shut it down he noticed something had changed. A box had appeared in the corner of the screen and Jeffrey’s heart palpitated with horror when he realised it was daddymenrah.

Thank you for your message. Your cute as hell. More people need to recognise Neagan as the god of fuck that he is. JDM can get it too tbh.

Jeffrey let out a choked sound at the sight of his own name. His hands shook as his fingers danced across the keyboard in swift reply – barely processing what was even happening.

I agree I don’t think enough people recognise Neagan’s sex appeal, I think most just think he’s some old dude lol.

Jeffrey perched on the edge of his seat as he waited for the reply. It came quickly once again.

Old dude? That’s exactly what I find so attractive about him though. He gets better the more he ages.

Well that certainly piqued his interest. Jeffrey ended up staying up most of the night talking to this girl. He felt like a bit of a creep but it was (mostly) innocent and in all honestly she fascinated him. He learnt that she was from the UK (which would explain why she was wide awake and he was dropping off), she was younger than he was (but totally legal! He reminded himself over and over) and totally infatuated with, well, him.

After that night Jeffrey didn’t let his phone out of sight. He constantly waited for her to text him. As soon as his phone screen lit up he snatched it up, searching for any information she was giving him. It was strange honestly – he couldn’t place what had led him obsessing over this girl online but that didn’t seem to stop him. She, on the other hand, was far more aloof. They communicated often and she made him burst out laughing with a deep chuckle often but he knew she probably wasn’t waiting for her phone to ping like he did.

Jeffrey had to constantly balance between revealing too much about himself and going too far in the descriptions of his on-screen characters. Even his vibrant strand narcissism could only go so far. But daddymenrah continued to indulge him without even knowing it.

This went on for a long time. Longer than he thought actually. He knew his girlfriend suspected him but he only grew to resent her. She didn’t talk about him the way daddymenrah did. She didn’t appreciate him. As he and daddymenrah got closer and closer he began to understand that she didn’t just want his body – she really understood him. She’d studied him a lot. And she liked what he saw. He knew her real name but he tried not to call her it for risk of her materialising too much for him.

Eventually he could tell that she was growing suspicious of him. She never got upset about anything but Jeffrey could tell she was kind of pissed that he didn’t share much.

I wish you would tell me more about yourself looool I hate emotional shit but I wish I just knew some stuff.

You do know stuff we talk all the time.

Yeah. About me.

Jeffrey sighed. She wasn’t wrong. But what could he do? If the truth came out she would never speak to him again. And his career would be in ruins. But at the same time he couldn’t bear to throw this away. What a ridiculous thought – a grown ass man getting caught up with a girl who writes stories about him online. Jeffrey continued to scold himself as he fell asleep that night but he knew that a decision was inevitable.

The day started like any other. Jeffrey and daddymenrah texted first thing in the morning and then sporadically throughout the rest of the day. Jeffrey smiled and swore loudly when he drooled toothpaste all over himself when he was distracted staring at one of the many selfies she sent him reacting to some stupid joke he’d made. Sometimes she pulled the most horrendous faces but they always made him laugh. He loved to see a woman so uninhibited.

That night Jeffrey settled down on the couch of his empty house. He felt sick but he knew it was now or never. He had to make her understand. Hands shaking, he typed out a message.

Do you want to Facetime? I thought it would only be fair.

YES OF COURSE I DOOOO

Okay but first let me just say something.

Aight shoot.

This isn’t a prank or one of those fake videos or whatever. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you I just didn’t know what else to do…

Daddymenrah didn’t reply to that and instead the sound of the incoming Facetime call blared out loudly from his phone. Jeffrey swallowed down the bile that had been rising in his throat and answered the call, holding the phone as thought it were a grenade.

The girl he’d been talking to for all these months gazed back inquisitively from the screen and then froze completely still, a frown overtaking her features.

'Surprise doll.’ Was all Jeffrey could muster in a low voice laced with embarrassment.

'This isn’t fucking funny.’ Daddymenrah began to laugh, a high-pitched wild laugh.

'It’s not a joke…’ And then Jeffrey said her name and she stopped, going very quiet.

'WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK-’

Jeffrey had to hold the phone a good few feet away from him to cope with the noise as it bounced around his whole damn house.

'Please try to calm down. I said I was sorry – I couldn’t just tell you from the start darlin’’

'Shut the fuck up just book me a plane ticket. I’m coming over there right now motherfucker.’

Jeffrey let out a loud laugh. So this is a thing now – he thought.

#jeffrey dean morgan #neagan #neagan x reader #JDM x reader #@daddymenrah #daddymenrah #birthday crack love

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