#kaeya and his platonic chemistry with women

[cizzisblog]

hear me out.

we had the mond crew in golden archipelago, venti + kazuha + xingqui + ayaka for last event, itto + shinobu + yanfei + xiao + yelan this go around

all I’m saying is kaeya + shenhe + eula + yelan + rosaria + barbara would be dream team top tier comedy

#it’s kaeya and the wlws #it’s the angsty crew and then there’s barbara #it’s the cryo hydro crew struggling to get through an electro puzzle without shocking themselves or each other #it’s everyone saying if anything happens to barbara I’m killing the rest of you and then myself because she’s making them tea and bein sweet #barbara gaining all the female role models #kaeya and his platonic chemistry with women #even funnier if they end up on dragonspine somehow #make it kaeya’s big lore drop khaenri’ah quest but he just has his pack of emotional support women there the whole time #they get stuck in a cryo trap and have to get rescued but their respective electro/pyro friends

[cizzisblog]

i’m sorry but kaeya + any female character is just such a good dynamic. he and rosaria bein drinking + trusting no one buddies. part of his job is he canonically looks out for klee and noelle 😭 I feel like he would always have good advice for barbara and watch out for her (+little siblings unsure of how to talk to big siblings squad!) qiqi? clearly, klee’s new sibling. this small calm baby with a cryo vision: perfect balance for explosive pyro vision baby (definitely doesn’t remind him of him and diluc, oh no) I think he pokes fun at amber/teases her but is firmly on the amber protection squad and always teases eula about her crush on her. “lisa’s little helper” who’s fallen asleep on the library table while she strokes his hair more than once. he has undoubtedly saved sucrose from tripping in the favonius hallways because she has thirty tomes in her arms and is too excited to experiment on some monsters a new project multiple times. he probably goes to mona’s every week to bribe her with insane amounts of mora to tell him about how diluc is doing. shenhe?? they could relate to each other so much holy shit. “I feel like a monster that doesn’t belong. My original home is gone. My father abandoned me.” beidou? eyepatch buddies AND she’d think he was a riot and get him to go on an adventure on her ship (“haha why are you puking? didn’t you say your grandfather was a pirate? where’s your SEA LEGS?”). she takes him to meet ningguang, leaves for five minutes, and comes back to them in the midst of an extremely complicated game of chess while they talk and she can’t tell if they’re complimenting each other or not. when she takes him to meet xinyan they make fun of childe for a solid half an hour and she wonders how two such different people get on so well. if he actually got to sit down with diona and talk I feel he could sympathize with her situation and would apologize for the role alcohol has played in her life but encourage her to focus on something she wants to do rather than the downfall of the wine industry (and also subtly encourage her not to hate diluc lmao) kokomi and ayaka definitely remind him of barbara (and diluc in how they overwork themselves) in their own ways and you know he’d look out for them on adventures with traveler. fischl? absolutely plays along with the royalty schtick, what are you talking about? you don’t know her highness? my grandfather was a pirate and served HER grandfather at sea, excuse you. he would only feed into hu tao scaring people and be a MENACE. if you subscribe to the kaeya star eye theory he probably feels less odd around her. every other week you can find him inexplicably sitting in xiangling’s restaurant to sample the new dishes because keqing and ganyu will also be there and he will somehow poke fun at them so hard he gets them to take a break in the most roundabout backwards way. kujou sara tries to beat him up weekly for the sake of honor after he says something yet every time she gets to the agreed location it’s just a bunch of treasure hoarders needing arresting

kaeya and miko meeting is a chaotic disaster no one speaks of but they both found hilarious

ei stares at him for a while and eventually says she isn’t sure what happened in khaenri’ah, but she’s sorry, and he feels…confused. she pats him on the head and her guards nearly faint when he suggests that he teach the electro archon how to cheat in card games.

I’m not sorry kaeya alberich simply has the best platonic chemistry with women. in this essay-

#genshin impact #kaeya #he is simply a gay man with a pack of lesbians #(and bisexuals) #and little girls he protects