#kmky chapter six

[nalgenewhore]

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Ress, Ress, wait,” Elide exclaimed, skittering to a stop as she tried to turn the corner. Her soft spoken bodyguard had been acting strangely ever since they had invited Fenrys to the palace. 

He reluctantly stopped, not meeting her eyes. “Hey, Elide.” Ress slunk away when she tried to touch his shoulder and she dropped her hand, a little pathetically. 

She tried to smile, tilting her head to the side, “I-I feel like no one’s seen you for ages, Ress. You know, if there’s ever something wrong, you can talk to me about it.” 

“Not about this,” he whispered. Ress looked down the hall, looking for a way to leave. 

Elide tried again, not ready to just let him leave, “Was it your boy?” She had a slight smile in her voice, trying to get a rise out of him or at least make him blush. His kind eyes hardened and she knew she had said the wrong thing. “Wait, Ress, please, I’m sorry- I-I didn’t mean to–” 

“Elide.” He said, his voice hard, brooking no room for argument. “I don’t want to talk about this and definitely,” he huffed a icy laugh, “definitely not with you, so please. Leave me alone.” Ress brushed by her without another word, walking quickly down the hall. 

Elide stood in shock, trying not to cry. After too long, she walked over to her old rooms, which they were fixing up for Fenrys. She nodded and tried to smile at the painters, whispering greetings to them. 

She sidled up to Lysandra, who was directing movers. “Hey.” 

Lysandra’s warm grin fell at Elide’s expression, “Hey, lovie. Wh-what’s wrong?” She ran a soothing hand down Elide’s back. 

“I think something happened with Ress and his boy and he- I think it’s my fault but I don’t know why,” Elide said, trying to not cry by tilting her face upwards. 

“How could it be your fault, El,” Lysandra asked, putting down her tablet. “He just wants a little space right now, I’m sure.” 

Elide nodded, not believing her friend in the slightest, but hoping she was right all the same. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan’s phone rang and he didn’t bother looking at the caller before he picked it up, “Hello?” 

“Lor, is that you, you fuckin’ bastard?”  

A lazy grin pulled at his lips and he sat back in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk, “Marama.” 

Fenrys laughed brightly and Lorcan could almost see his friend’s shit-eating grin. “Heard you're trying to steal some poor girl’s throne, hmm? Seems fitting for Hellas’ spawn.” 

Lorcan rolled his eyes, “Yeah, and you’re the poor guy they called to slap a ring on her pretty lil’ finger.” 

“Ooh, she’s pretty?”  

Elide Lochan was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, but Lorcan kept that to himself. “She’s… nice to look at.” 

“Mmm, is that jealousy?” 

Lorcan felt something grow in his chest and he swallowed, some of his joking swagger leaving him, “Have at her, Fen. She’s feisty. I think you’ll like her.” 

Fenrys chuckled again, “Tell me again how many times she’s slapped you. It brings me such joy.”  

“Sadist,” Lorcan grumbled, rubbing his forehead. “And twice. The first was an accident.” 

“And the second?”  

His cheeks burned and he was grateful he was in his rooms with no one around, “I… uh, I might’ve called her ‘sweetheart’ or something.” 

“Hellas save you, man. You really are a fucking dumbass.” 

Lorcan rolled his eyes again, “I realise that, Fen. When’s your plane getting in, anyway?” 

The man on the end of the line hummed, “Mmm, in a couple days. Did you know I get a fancy room at the palace?”  

“Yeah, well, me too,” Lorcan shot back, smiling smugly. “You aren’t that special.” Fenrys just huffed and something crossed Lorcan’s mind, “Hey, weren’t you talking to some guy? What, ah, what are you doing about that?” 

“I ended it,” Fenrys said in a nonchalant voice. “He seemed fine with it, so no feelings were hurt, I guess.”

“And what about you? Are you fine with it?” 

“Couldn’t be more fine with it.” 

“Mmm, whatever you say, Fen.” 

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide ran down the hall, trying to go as quickly as possible. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered, trying not to tip over in her three-inch heels. She was running as fast as she could, but her strides were shortened by her tight, fitted houndstooth skirt and the matching coat she carried in her arms. 

She attempted to slow down when she turned the corner into the foyer, but ended up sliding and windmilling her arms. Elide crashed into Rowan, groaning softly, “Shit, sorry, Ro.” She shrugged her coat on, flipping her hair out from under the collar. “How do I look?” 

“Ravishing,” said a new voice, one she had never heard before. Elide spun, her eyes landing on a beautiful man. “If I may say so myself.” 

“You must be Fenrys,” she replied, her cheeks burning. She surveyed him from head to toe. He had cut off his dreads, his hair now bleached blonde and shaved close to his skull. It was styled in a meticulous, 360° wave pattern, which no doubt took years of mastering. 

Fenrys smiled, his cheek dimpling, and then he bowed, “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Elide. I am humbled that you think someone like me could be your knight in shining armor.” 

Elide liked him immediately and laughed, holding out her hand for him to shake, “I am forever in your debt, good sir.” His hand was large and warm, his grip not too tight and not too loose. Perfect. “How was your trip from Doranelle?” 

“Oh, uneventful, I’d say. Lovely plane you’ve got,” he said, flashing her another grin. Fenrys’ dark eyes had a cheeky gleam in them that Elide instantly adored. 

“Oh, that old thing?” she asked flippantly. “That’s just something we have lying around.” Fenrys laughed, the sound warm and booming as it echoed through the hall. Elide smiled, turning back to Aelin and Rowan, who were in the midst of exchanging a secret glance. “Your Majesties, Fenrys Marama.” 

Fenrys bowed to Aelin, “My queen.” Aelin dipped her chin, sending a giddy grin to Elide. I like him, Elide mouthed as Fenrys and Rowan said their greetings. 

Elide looked around for Ress, wondering if her bodyguard was feeling better. In his place, another guard stood, looking much more intimidating and imposing than Ress ever did. She turned to Lysandra, whispering softly, “Where’s Ress?” 

“He’s taken some time off, not feeling well,” Lysandra murmured back. “Now, you and Fenrys are going to have a walk in the gardens. A photographer will be there, but just ignore them.” 

Elide nodded, turning back to Fenrys. The man smiled again, offering Elide his arm. She slipped her hand into his elbow and he said, “Shall we?” 

“We shall.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Three days later and Elide didn’t think she would ever tire of Fenrys’ company. He was hilarious and kind, his humour more bold and obvious than Elide’s, but they paired well together. 

She had learned that his favourite colour was yellow, his birthday was exactly two months after hers - August twelfth - his favourite sport was soccer and he had gone to the University of Varese on a soccer scholarship. Though his degree was in political science, and he planned to become a lawyer, Fenrys had an aptitude for photography and carried his camera almost everywhere with him. 

His older brother, Connall, was quieter than him, the dark side of the same coin. They had grown up in Doranelle their whole lives. Fenrys said he was grateful that he was the spare, because it gave him the freedom to explore the world as he had always itched to do. 

“Ellie,” he called, beckoning her over to where he was bent over a flower bush. 

Elide walked over to him, leaning down next to him, “What is it?” 

“A butterfly,” he said, lifting his camera to snap a picture. It was as if the soft click of the frame had bothered the delicate creature and it took off, fluttering in the air to a new perch. Fenrys pouted, sad that his new friend left so soon. 

Elide chuckled, “Don’t worry, sweetie-pie.” That was a new thing they had started the other day. Elide called him ‘sweetie-pie’ and in return, Fenrys had dubbed her ‘honeybunch’. It annoyed everyone around them, these overly affectionate names, and the pair thrived off everyone’s irritation. 

Fenrys laughed softly and stood up, slinging his arm around her shoulders, “You hungry? I think it’s time for lunch.” 

She smiled, wrapping her arm around his waist, “You always think it’s time for…” Elide trailed off as a certain someone walked into the garden, a book in his hands. Immediately, she scowled. 

“Honeybunch, are you alright?” 

Elide nodded, still frowning as Lorcan sat down on a bench and opened his book. He must’ve noticed her staring and looked up, flashing her a cocky grin that she wanted to slap off his perfect, beautiful face. “‘m fine,” she muttered, balling her free hand into a fist. 

Fenrys looked up, following her eyeline to Lorcan, who he faked a confused frown at, deciding it would be best if Elide didn’t know their connection. “Who’s that?” 

“Hellas incarnate,” she said, tugging Fenrys along to the castle. “He’s the other heir. I hate him.” 

Fenrys nodded thoughtfully, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly, “Don’t worry, he won’t succeed. That’s why I’m here.” 

“Ah, yes, my knight in shining armor,” Elide said in a simpering tone, batting her eyelashes. 

Her friend rolled his eyes, bumping her with his hip, “Shut up, stupid.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

My dearest honeybunch, snookums, Elide, Meet me in the garden, at dawn, should you dare Forever and truly, Your most beloved sweetie-pie 

Elide snorted at the note in her hand once more, shaking her head as she walked down the stairs. The whole proposal was planned out and still, Fenrys had used every loophole that he could to make it feel like it wasn’t just a business deal. 

She wore a pretty pink midi skirt and an oversized, cream-coloured sweater. On her feet she had on another pair of rounded-toe pumps, cream to match her top. Her hair was curled and loosely falling down her back, two sections pinned in the back to pull her hair away from her face. 

Nerves fluttered in her stomach as she walked out into the garden, spotting Fenrys sitting beneath a lilac tree. He stood up when he saw her, smiling broadly, “Good morning, Elide.” 

“Good morning, Fenrys,” she said, rolling her eyes when he took her hand and bent to kiss her knuckles. “Will you tell me why you’ve summoned me out here?” 

“Let us sit,” he told her, motioning her to the stone bench he had been resting upon. 

Elide sat, her hands folded in her lap. Fenrys joined her, his knee knocking into hers. She knew the paparazzi and the press were peeking through the garden fence and gate, their cameras flashing as they snapped a flurry of shots. “Over the past week,” Fenrys started, reaching over to hold her hands in his, “I have had the absolute pleasure of getting to know you and I have fallen desperately in love with your entire being.” 

Elide bit her lip to stop from laughing, nodding serenely, “Of course.” 

Fenrys’ eyes held a warning light, telling her if she laughed, he would laugh too. “And I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you so I ask thee,” he slid off the bench, smoothly pulling a velvet box from his pocket as he kneeled and flipped the lid open, “if you would do me the greatest honour in life and become my wife. Elide Amara Lochan, will you marry me?” 

She lifted her hand to her throat, the tears in her eyes forming in an effort to keep from snorting and ruining it all, “Oh, sweetie-pie. Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes!” Fenrys grinned wickedly and slid the ring onto her finger. 

Elide flung her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Fen,” she whispered, eyeing the diamond ring on her finger. 

“The pleasure is all mine,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her with him as he stood up. 

For some reason, the sinking feeling in her gut didn’t dissipate and Elide had to hold back tears of grief. 

Everything is fine, she told herself, you’re happy. The happiest you’ve ever been.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“I believe congratulations are in order,” Lorcan drawled as Elide walked into the library. 

She froze and turned, glaring at him. “Thank you,” she said tightly, her back straight. “I’m very happy with him.” 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” he replied, smirking at her before returning to his book. He could tell she hadn’t moved and looked up again, “Is there something I can help you with, sweetheart?” Her cheeks reddened as her eyes flashed dangerously. 

Lorcan idly thought he should be scared of her, but he wasn’t in the slightest. He ran his eyes down her body, stifling the urge to reach out and wrap her up in his arms. She looked so soft in her black leggings and slouchy grey cashmere sweater that slipped down one arm. 

“I am,” Elide insisted, her knuckles turning white as she gripped her stack of books. “I am very happy with Fenrys. We’re in love.” 

Lorcan snorted, looking down at his book. He didn’t read a single word, “Don’t be dumb.” 

“I am not dumb, Lorcan,” she hissed. 

“Hmm, I don’t think you’re dumb, I think you’re being dumb,” he said, flipping the page. “Because if you were being smart, you would know that you could never be happy with Fenrys and,” he lifted his eyes up to her angered gaze, her cheeks still pink, “he could never fall in love with someone like you.” 

The angered light in her eyes guttered. It was replaced by crushing sorrow and she quickly looked away from him, “Well, you would know, wouldn’t you? I can’t ever imagine someone loving you.” Without another word, Elide turned away from him and walked deeper into the library. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Ready?” 

Elide breathed out slowly, resting her hand on Fenrys’ forearm, “Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

They walked to the formal dining room, their steps sure and measured. “You look rather dashing,” Elide said, appraising her fiancé in a fitted suit. 

Fenrys flashed her a grin, taking her hand and twirling her under his arm. Elide laughed, but the unwarranted thought in her mind was that it felt nothing like when Lorcan had spun her around. “As do you,” Fenrys said, resting his hand on her lower back, her black dress offering an open back. The neckline was square with delicate straps, its skirt ending just beneath her knees with a back slit that allowed her to walk normally even with the snug fit.  

Fenrys led her to the hall and Elide saw Ress standing with Lysandra at the door. He didn’t look pleased to be there, so she held herself back and simply nodded at him. He gave her a small smile and she tucked the little victory into her heart, not noticing how he glanced at Fenrys and immediately dropped his gaze. 

She didn’t notice how Fenrys locked his jaw and stared straight ahead, tears burning in his eyes, either.

“Are we ready?” Lysandra asked, her eyes sparkling. Elide nodded, shooting her friend a grateful smile.

She and Fenrys waited outside the room as the majordomo announced from inside, “Presenting, her royal Grace, Lady Elide, and Lord Fenrys of Doranelle.”

The double doors were pulled open by two men. The couple smiled and waved politely as they walked to their seats. Aelin and Rowan were standing at the head of the table. 

The queen stayed standing as the guests all sat, raising her glass of champagne to Elide and Fenrys, “Thank you all for joining us today as we celebrate the engagement of my dear cousin, Elide, and Fenrys. I could not be more happy for the two of you.” She lifted her glass as the others did and toasted, “To Elide and Fenrys!” 

Elide lifted her glass, staring across the table at Lorcan as he mockingly tilted his head to the side and toasted them. “To the happy, happy couple,” he said, just loud enough for Elide to hear him. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide viciously cut a bite-sized piece of her veal, scowling the entire time at Lorcan, who just smiled back at her and chewed slowly on his own food. 

She hoped that he choked. 

He spoke quietly with his aunt, who looked like she wanted to throttle either Elide or Fenrys or maybe the both of them. 

Elide smirked at the thought, smug knowing she had bested Maeve. Her uncle looked displeased as well as he pushed his food around his plate, glowering down at something and on occasion, up at Lorcan. 

She watched as Vernon lifted his head to glare at her arch nemesis. Lorcan just sipped on his whiskey and regarded Vernon with a bored expression, his body language open and unimpressed. Glancing down his frame, Elide swallowed hard at the sight of his white dress shirt. Lorcan had forgone a tie, somehow managing to pull it off and not look out of place amidst Elide’s formally dressed guests. He wore a navy suit, the colour making an arresting match with his copper skintone. 

The top buttons of his shirt were opened, the white material straining over his muscular chest. She caught a glimpse of black ink and a flush appeared on her chest as she imagined tracing her tongue over it. 

Shaking her head, she looked up at Fenrys, smiling, “How are you?” 

He lowered his head to her ear, “I’m doing quite well, Elide. And you?” 

“I’m good,” Elide said, sighing in relief when servers cleared their plates for the next course. “Bit tired.” 

He slid his hand between the back of the chair and her, easing the strain from her shoulders with a soothing touch. Elide sighed, easing into it by a bit. It still wasn’t as comfortable as she wished it was. 

It was the touch of a friend, a confidant, but not one of a lover. Shame coursed through her as the memory of Lorcan’s hand on her back was the first thing she thought of. 

Fenrys’ touch was nothing like that and she wished so badly that it was. 

+*+*+*+*+*+* 

Lorcan watched Fenrys rub Elide’s back, watched how she let the royal, regal mask slip. A pang of jealousy echoed in his chest and he knocked back the rest of his whiskey, savouring the slight burn that accompanied the amber liquid. 

Still, she didn’t relax completely. An image of her, something his mind made up, took up his brain. Elide, tired and exhausted, melting into his side. She smiled sleepily, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his chest. He dropped whatever he was doing and lifted her into his arms, gently carrying her to a bed - their bed. 

The hissing voice of his aunt startled him out of his reverie. “What, Maeve,” he said, looking down at his plate to find that they had moved onto the last course of desert. Thank the Creator. 

“Were you even listening to a thing I said,” she snapped, viciously deconstructing the delicate chocolate and espresso pot de crème. 

“No.” Lorcan looked at Fenrys, who was shooting him a worried look as he glanced between Lorcan and Maeve and Elide’s horrid uncle. If Lorcan had to choose one man he hated with his entire soul, it was Vernon Lochan. He had heard the story of Elide’s injury and the moment he had met Vernon, he had had to refrain from inflicting the very same pain and abuse onto the weaselly regent. “What do you want?” 

His aunt huffed, “We still have a chance at the throne, Lorcan.” 

“Of course we do,” he said drily, watching Fenrys whisper something that had Elide covering her mouth with her hand as she laughed. Her eyes sparkled and her nose scrunched up and she looked so happy. 

Lorcan hated Fenrys in that moment. He hated him so damn much. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Maeve had finally left. She had been telling him bullshit about how they could still win, Elide could still be ineligible. 

Eventually, he had just told her he would talk to her another day and he was tired. Lorcan stood on the dining room balcony, staring out at the forest. He had a crystal glass of whiskey in his hands, the singular ice cube melting. Lorcan had been waiting too long to drink it. 

The door opened behind him and he didn’t need to turn to know that it was Fenrys. 

“Lorcan,” Fenrys said, his voice low. 

He turned, offering a tight smile, “Congrats, Fen. I’m real happy for you guys.” Lorcan drank deeply from his glass, a slight buzz numbing him. “Real fuckin’ happy.” 

Fenrys arched a brow, not believing him in the slightest. In his hands, he carried an unopened bottle of liquor, “Really?” 

“Mm-hmm. I think you’ll,” he coughed, his throat tight, “you’ll make her really happy, Fen.” 

“Lor, don’t fucking lie to me.” 

“I am not fucking lying to you, Fen,” he said, his voice raising. “I hope that you make Elide Lochan happy. I hope that she makes you happy because if she doesn’t, what the fuck is the point of any of this?” He waved his hand, “Yeah, and I know it’s my fault, it’s all I think about.” 

Lorcan breathed in deeply, putting his glass down, “You told me you were in love, Fen. With that boy, you called me when you were blackout drunk and were crying over how much you loved him. How do you just… give that up for some girl you don’t know?” 

Fenrys sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes, “The boy… he didn’t love me. Not yet, at least, and I couldn’t stand waiting around for it so… yeah. I gave whatever that was up for some girl I didn’t know. She needed help, don’t you get that?” 

Lorcan just shook his head and pulled Fenrys into a tight hug. Better than most people, he thought to himself, not noticing dark eyes watching him through the opened door.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: ......i feel like that was a lot of stuff that happened. wow. 

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @ladyverena @ttakeitbacknoww @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse  @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @empress-ofbloodshed @b00kworm @hizqueen4life @silversprings98 @amren-courtofdreams @minaidss @superspiritfestival @sanakapoor @ireallyshouldsleeprn @spyofthenightcourt @januarystears @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @magicalunicorngypsy @elriel4life @sensitiveillyrian

#knowing me knowing you #kmky chapter six #princess diaries au #elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #isa writes #nalgenewhore #the fact that it's only gonna get messier from now on.......wow 😳 oopsie

[f-imaginings]

Your fic is so engaging and funny. I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do with writing it.

AHHH! I am overwhelmed, I woke up this morning to so many nice thoughtful things done and said about KMKY. 

Because I love and appreciate you all for your wonderful support, I’mma post a sneak preview for next chapter. I’m halfway through it now. 

It’s a bit long, so I’ll put it under the cut. 

Fiddleford nodded, and then frowned, drumming his fingers onhis leg as his knee started to bounce fretfully.

“Listen, Stanford, about the shapeshifter –“

“Shifty.” Ford corrected Fiddleford absently, still pouringthrough the information on the print out.

“You can’t be namin’ the thing. It’s not a pet Stanford, it’sa specimen, and we’re only keepin’ it around to use it to test out thecryo-tubes. You can’t get attached to it.”

“Well, I can’t very well go around calling him Experiment 210all the time, it’s such a mouthful.” Ford replied, deliberately ignoring thepoint Fiddleford was trying to make. “I wonder if we can pinpoint the sectionof DNA that allows Shifty to change shape, or if that’s something innate in amore cosmic way. Scientifically there’s got to be a basis for it.”

Fiddleford groaned, and ran his hands through his hair,muttering. “Or just ignore me. Like I’m talkin’ to myself sometimes.”

In the corner of the lab, a device about the size of acinderblock began ringing – Fiddleford’s preliminary template for a cellularphone.

“Who’s callin’? F spun his chair around, looking at theringing device.

Springing up from his chair, Ford went to pick it up,eagerness written all over his face. “It’s probably Bill. I’ll get it.”

Whether Ford was excited by the novelty of using thecell-phone or if he was simply excited to hear from Bill, it wasn’t certain.The scientist seemed brighter and happier with a new specimen to study.

Picking up the cellular phone and pressing the answer button,Ford held the phone close to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Chhhr – Hello, I’m conducting a survey for HandsIllustrated, how many hands are you currently in possession of?”

“Bill?” Ford presumed, obliquely recognising his muse’s voicebeneath the crackle of the reception and presumably Bill’s own hand distortingthe sound through the receiver.

“Okay, but how many fingers?”

“Twelve.” Ford sighed, shaking his head with amusement.“Don’t tell me you’re calling because you’re bored again. These calls costmoney, especially to the cellular.”

“Hands Illustrated makes plenty of money, we can afford it.How would you feel about modelling for the centrefold?”

“I’ll pass.” Ford chuckled, imagining the muse reclining onthe couch in the living room, twirling the phone cord around his slenderfingers. It was a tempting image. “You know, if you’re bored you can alwayscome down here, there’s plenty to do in the lab.”

“I’ll pass.” Bill parroted back.

“You haven’t even met Shifty yet. He’s growing with remarkablerapidity, I feel like only last week he was still just an egg.”

“And the world liked him better that way.” There was acrunching sound that led Ford to believe Bill was eating while on call.

“What are you eating?” Ford asked, while Fiddleford glared athim, picking up the papers the printer was spitting out, having to go over themby himself while Stanford was making small-talk with his boyfriend.

“It’s either celery or a very green carrot.” There wasanother crunch and Bill continued talking. “There’s no food in the house, youshould come back here and cook for me.”

“What happened to the casserole I left you in the fridge?”

“All gone.” Bill sang cheerfully.

“There should be some pasta in the Tupperware.”

“Gone.” Bill replied swiftly. It almost sounded like he waspicking his teeth.

“What about the bread and butter pudding?”

“Gone, gone, gone.”

“You have the most insatiable appetite I’ve ever encountered.I swear.” Ford marvelled fondly.

“I turned on something called the Julia Childs cooking show,but so far I have yet to see her eat a single infant. Not one.” Bill soundeddisappointed. “And now I’m hungry again.”

“Well, a decided lack of eating children will do that toyou.” Ford joked, drawing a peculiar glance from Fiddleford.

“So what would you call finger number six, or would you haveto rename both middle fingers since technically there’s no true middle finger.How do you index the index fingers?”

“I thought we were talking about your food situation.”

“Don’t change the topic Sixer, I’m conducting a survey.”

Ford chuckled and paced around, holding the oversizedcellular phone to his ear.

The lab was small and the phone’s speakers made it very clearwhat the person on the other side of the line was saying. Fiddleford rolled hiseyes, stacking the papers in order while Bill and Stanford transparentlyflirted in their own strange way.

“Stanford, the papers.” Fiddleford reminded him, and Fordwaved at him idly, acknowledging that he’d heard him.

“I’m declining to answer.” He said into the phone, obviouslyamused.

“Then you’re vetoing your right to name them. I’m naming themnow.” Bill sounded gleeful on the other end of the line.

“No you’re not.” Ford cut Bill’s sinister plans short. “Idon’t want to know what devious names you’d come up with.”

“I’m naming them all Bill 1 through 6. Left and right.” Billpaused, then clacked his tongue. “No, that’s not creative enough. Let me getback to you.”

“Stanford?” Fiddleford pressed, not keen to play theunwitting third wheel to this phone call.

“I might have to get back to you.” Ford sighed, and reluctantly looked over to the papers pilingup on the counter. “We’ve got a fair bit to do here, we might not be back tillate. Might even have to stay the night again.”

“No! Sixer!” Bill pouted, obviously disappointed. “Fournights in a row?”

“We need to observe Shifty’s development.” Ford argued.

“You’re robbing me of quality Sixer time. Over a grub thatdoesn’t even have the decency to embrace it’s disgusting true form.”

“We’re at a pivotal stage of Shifty’s development, we can’tjust leave him to his own devices. Not now, he’d think we’d abandoned him.”Ford reasoned. “He’s just beginning to trust us.”

“What about me? You’re abandoning me!” Bill insisted, alittle manipulatively.

“You can always come down here, there’s nothing stoppingyou.” Ford replied. “Not now, especially.”

“I’m not teleporting to your beck and call.” Bill saidgrumpily, and Stanford put his hand over the phone’s speaker, shielding Bill’ssecret from F. Those last bricks unbound in the forest unlocked more cosmicpowers for the muse, though Stanford had yet to see them all in practiseconsidering his attention had been so diverted by the shifter.  

“If anything, you should be coming to me.”

“Yes, well, I’m quite busy.” Ford said lightly.

“You get one more night.” Bill said definitively. “Thenyou’re coming home. Leave McGucket to mind the grub, or stick him in thecryotube, he’d never know you left.”

“The grub or Fiddleford?” Ford questioned wryly, as F was nownudging him with his foot, trying to get him to disengage from the phone call.

“Why Sixer, what a novel idea.” Bill’s Cheshire grin wasaudible. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Stanford.” Fiddleford repeated, most unimpressed.

“I’m joking, I’m joking.” Ford assured him. Turning back tothe call, Ford held the phone in his left hand and made some notes in hisjournal with his right. “I can see about wrapping things up here, and I’ll beback home tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Bill’s voice came from the other endof the line, clipped and determined.

“Or around lunchtime, perhaps, depending on how Shiftyadjusts.” Ford made an adjustment to one of his notes on Shifty, before heheard Bill’s voice ring out sharp and cranky by his ear.

“No, tomorrow morning. No more evading me.”

“That’s not what I’m doing, but if it will make you happy,I’ll be there bright and early tomorrow morning.” Ford said in a pacifyingtone, continuing to jot down notes in his journal. “I’ll even make youbreakfast, how does that sound?”

“Better.” Bill said, sounding vaguely mollified.

Fiddleford was outright kicking Ford’s ankle now, and,shaking his ankle out, Ford continued.

“Now I really do have to –“

“Hold on Sixer, I’ve got Hands Magazine on the other line.Can’t talk. Gotta go. BYE!”

Ford blinked and stared at the cellular phone as the dialtone beeped rudely back at him, Bill taking the initiative to hang up onStanford before the scientist could brush him off.

Ford ogled the cell for a few seconds longer, offended,before he allowed his own private amusement to set in.

“Stanford.” Fiddleford repeated impatiently. “If you’d stopsmilin’ at the phone, you really need to see this.”

#knowing me knowing you #inspiration