#kou needs to be the boy who cried wolf after just this because teru doesn’t know that the next time won’t have him eaten!

[dirtbra1n]

mostly so far. like re: hanako deliberately bringing up the murder he committed. and making threats against kou as a form of self- harm punishment and sabotage. because he doesn’t feel he deserves to be seen as good. because he doesn’t feel that he is good. and the direct IMMEDIATE consequence of teru showing up to, on paper in plainest terms, save his little brother from, on paper in plainest terms, evident danger at the hands of the supernatural who’s got him pinned with a knife at his throat. this is all so fucked. kou hasn’t ever seen his brother wearing the expression he’s wearing right now and the expression is SCARY and kou is being torn between believing in hanako’s goodness and believing in his brother’s competence and talent and it’s like. he’s a younger sibling and younger siblings follow the lead of their older siblings. so what if teru is right about hanako?

what if he isn’t?

and teru’s doing what he needs to, what he’s been tasked to do, and part of it needs to be that kou had a knife to his throat, but the other part has to be that he told kou it was too much for him and he told kou that he wasn’t mature enough for this and the only reason he conceded is because his baby brother pleaded with him to get another shot at it. and then the next day he doesn’t have a choice but to intervene! part of it needs to be that kou had a knife to his throat, his little brother had a knife to his throat, but the other part of it has to be that he shouldn’t have conceded, but given that he did kou should have just listened to him. like has teru ever had cause to resent his younger brother before. I don’t know yet! but before this kou thought that teru must surely be going into all those fights, doing all he does, with a smile on his face, because he was always wearing a smile when he turned back to look at him. and he’s finding out now that that wasn’t the case. how much of that was teru protecting his younger brother from thinking about the nature of what was happening and how much of it was teru wanting to keep kou from looking at him with this expression.

how much of it was an older sibling’s obligation and how much of it was a tactical prevention of a stab through the heart. is all I mean.

#also the look in hanako’s eyes. jesus FUCKING christ #hi sunnnfish are you seeing this. When the Wanting to die hits #tbhk #jshk #dirtbrain digression #AND THATS ALL. WITHOUT SAYING #THAT KOU IS THE ONE WHO HAD THE KNIFE TO HIS THROAT. BUT HE’S ALSO THE ONE WHO SAW THE LOOK IN HANAKO’S EYES #so he KNOWS that something is off with hanako but he can’t say that anymore! the opportunity with trust has passed! #kou is the boy who cried wolf already because teru can’t afford to let anymore near misses happen! #kou needs to be the boy who cried wolf after just this because teru doesn’t know that the next time won’t have him eaten! #i am going to die.