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generaldisdainn · 3 years

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The First Christmas in Forever

A big shoutout to @frozines and all of the talented and hardworking mods and contributors that came together to create a beautiful winter Frozen zine! <3 You can see the whole zine on their account. Also, a massive thanks to @punkpoemprose for beta reading my submission! She’s an incredible writer and I felt so lucky to have her read over my piece and help with edits!

Here is my piece for the zine! It takes place directly after Olaf’s Frozen Adventure and is just a little one shot of Anna and Kristoff getting to share a quiet moment together after the events of that short. I hope you enjoy! Happy holidays! <3

Rating: G

Pairing: Kristanna

Word count: 2,617

AO3 link

Summary: Kristoff and Anna share a quiet moment alone during their first holiday season together. (Some canon-compliant fluff taking place directly after Olaf's Frozen Adventure!)

The moon lingered high in the sky as one by one the Arendellian citizens began to take their leave from the holiday festivities.

After the town search party found Olaf, everyone had stuck around for an impromptu holiday party of sorts. Elsa erected a beautiful Christmas tree, the castle staff and townsfolk brought out food and drinks to share, and everyone spent time enjoying the end to the first day of the holiday season.

Kristoff watched with rapt attention as Anna tended to the people of Arendelle. She offered them food, danced with the little ones, and checked in with each person, young or old. In truth, they could have left a while ago, and perhaps they should have. He saw the way she stifled a few yawns, the way she stumbled over her own feet. But Anna stayed. She stayed until the very last family bid their farewells. Only then did she turn to Kristoff with tired eyes and tell him she was ready to go home.

“Did you have fun?”

“Oh yes,” she said with a yawn. “The best Yule bell day ever.”

She leaned on his shoulder and looked up at him, eyes shimmering with the light of the stars above. Kristoff’s heart surged.

***

Elsa bid them farewell at the top of the staircase once they got back to the palace. Anna took her into a tight hug, and Kristoff gave her one as well before they took their leave to their respective sides of the hall. Kristoff smiled as Anna passed by her own room and continued on down the hall toward his.

“Can I-” She always asked. But the answer was always the same.

“Yes.”

They weren’t technically supposed to be sleeping in the same room, but after almost 5 months of Kristoff being around the castle and 4 of him having his own sleeping quarters, most everyone in the palace turned a blind eye to the matter, save for Elsa who would always tease them at dinner (to which Anna would kick her playfully and Elsa would laugh behind her hand). The only guards and maids who came by the sleeping quarters in the evenings or the early mornings were the most trusted and beloved. None of them would dare soil Anna’s reputation or happiness. Besides, she had been alone all those years.

“Best to let her make up for lost time,” he’d overheard Gerda saying one evening.

Countless nights spent together allowed them to settle comfortably into routine. Kristoff brushed his teeth and splashed his face with water before slipping into his palace pajamas (he loathed most of the stuffy clothes supplied to him by the palace staff, but the pajamas were to die for) and crawled into bed. He leaned back, watching Anna as she readied herself.

Her nightly routine had a lot more steps than his did, but he didn’t mind. It always gave him plenty of time to admire her while she stood by the bathroom sink.

“Help?”

She made her way to the side of the bed and stood there, beautiful shoulders and back turned to face him as she offered him the strings of her corset to untie.

It had taken him much longer than he cared to admit to learn how to work the intricate strings and knots that were her dresses and undergarments, especially as experienced as he was with rope, but he took pride in the fact that he could now help her so well. It meant that he could now undress her and re-dress her perfectly so that she could slip away to him midday and then return to her duties without raising suspicion. It had proven to be a particularly useful skill in that regard.

He kissed her shoulder as the undergarment slipped off of her and she let out a soft breath before moving to change into her nightgown.

It was rare he saw Anna in these moods. Normally she was bubbly and exuberant, filling spaces with excited rambles and stories. It was as if she had lived in silence for so long that she never wanted it to be quiet ever again. But tonight, she was still, letting thick contemplative silence fall between them.

Anna blew out the lamp and crawled in bed beside Kristoff, tucking herself delicately into his chest. She looked so small against him. So beautiful. So his.

“I love you,” he said. It felt like the best place to start.

“I love you too.” She nestled closer and breathed deeply. “I’m sleepy.”

“I can tell.” A soft, rumbling laugh left him at that. “You had fun though?”

“I did.”

“What was your favorite part?”

Anna hummed in consideration and cuddled closer into him. “Definitely watching Olaf put his star on the tree. What about yours?”

“I liked watching you dance. Especially with the kids.”

There was a time not so long ago when he may have refrained from admitting something so vulnerable or with such big implications. But they were at a point where absentminded talk of their future together was not uncommon.

“I didn’t know you were watching.”

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.”

He could feel her sigh of contentment rumble against his chest and he had the urge to pull her impossibly closer until she was a part of him.

“I’m sorry we didn’t dance together.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t dance with you. I was so busy talking with everyone else and making sure that everyone was having a good time that I forgot to, I don’t know, do things that I wanted to do.”

“I’m sorry, Anna, I didn’t realize-”

“It’s okay. I had a good time, I just missed you I guess. I was trying to make it special for everyone else, and I forgot to make it special for us.” She traced circles on his chest with a delicate finger, and he watched as she bit at the inside of her cheek.

He hated watching her overanalyze herself or judge herself so harshly for things she hadn’t even done wrong.

“Alright, come on. Up.” He reached for her hand and sat up, motioning towards the floor.

“What are you doing?”

“Just for a second,” he reassured as he stood to his feet and brought her up with him.

He was lucky the moon was still streaming in through the window so that he could see her clearly.

They stood across from each other and Anna gazed at him inquisitively.

Before he felt too silly or could second guess what he was about to do, he extended a hand to her and watched as her cheeks flushed in the evening glow. “May I have this dance?”

A smile broke out onto her face and she eagerly took his hand, immediately pulling him into her and wrapping her arms around his waist. There she was. He loved when she took the lead. He swayed in time with her moves, dancing to the imagined music of her heart.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked after a moment when her swaying slowed and she pressed her head against his chest.

“Tonight was beautiful, it really was.”

Kristoff paused to let her continue. He knew that if he replied the moment would be lost, her worries pushed down only to reveal themselves another day. It was a gentle process of teaching each other to let go and be open, but it was one that he was happy to learn by her side.

“I just can’t stop thinking about how much time I lost here alone.”

His heart caught in his throat. She had lost 13 years to loneliness and confusion. 13 years of stolen time and missing moments. It was something that pained her often.

“I know.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“Did you have a good night?” she asked, her voice laced with the sudden worry that he hadn’t enjoyed himself.

It was as if she was afraid that if he hadn’t had a good time he would leave her. But he wouldn’t. And she knew that. She just needed to be reminded every now and again, something Kristoff was happy to do.

“I did, Anna. I always had my family during this time of year, but sometimes I still felt like an outsider. It was nice to be a part of something that was mine. This is the first Christmas in Arendelle where I felt like I belonged.”

She smiled up at him and placed a hand on his chest.

He continued, making sure she saw the earnesty in his eyes as he spoke.

“I know you feel like you need to make up for all of this lost time, and that all of these firsts need to be perfect, but tonight was ours. You were there, and Elsa was there, and Olaf, and Sven, and all of Arendelle, and that made it perfect. We were all together. And we get to do this every year for the rest of our lives.”

“You’re right.” She took a calming breath and let the tension leave her chest. “I love you.” Anna pulled him into a tight embrace, arms holding him close to her as she breathed deeply.

He felt her relax against him, his heart swimming with pride in the fact that he was able to comfort her. They had come so far together.

“I love you too.”

Her eyes flickered with their familiar, mischievous glow as she pulled back to look at him. “I’m hungry.”

Kristoff laughed. Of course she was. “Anna, it’s so late.”

“I know, but it’s that time of year,” she urged, poking at his sides and pulling another chuckle out of him.

“Okay, okay, feisty pants.”

***

They stole away to the kitchen, snickering as they tried to stay quiet while boiling milk and melting chocolate to blend together into a creamy, chocolatey drink. They brought their warm mugs filled to the brim with hot chocolate back to Kristoff’s room and sipped at them together on the floor. The dancing and the chocolate and the giggles took their tired eyes and traded them for ones alight with joy and lost in the possibilities of Christmases to come.

“Tell me your favorite holiday memory,” Anna said, stretching out her legs and resting back on the floor after a long sip of hot chocolate.

It didn’t take Kristoff long to think of one. It had stuck with him for as long as he could remember, and it was one of his favorites.

“This was my first Christmas with the Trolls. I think I had finally left the orphanage for good a few months before, so I had only been with them for a short while, and I remember I still felt guilty for being there.”

Anna sat up and rubbed his arm as he spoke of that time. He had told her how hard it had been, and whenever he recalled his darker days she always listened with close attention and a comforting hand rested somewhere on him to let him know that she was there. It kept him grounded, and he appreciated it more than she would probably ever know.

“I wasn’t expecting any gifts or to be involved in their celebration. I had never really been included in Christmas celebrations at the orphanage, so I was planning on heading out with Sven on Christmas and then coming back after everything was done. But on Christmas Eve, Bulda pulled me aside and told me she wanted to give me an early gift. It was this beautiful fire crystal, just like the ones that all the other trolls earn after doing something brave. She said it was mine for being so strong and for finding my way to them. She said that I was the bravest person she had ever known and that she loved me and that I had earned it.”

Kristoff felt Anna’s small hand wrap around his as he continued, fingers locking together and anchoring him to her.

“I felt awful because I hadn’t even gotten her anything in return, but she said that me finding my way to them and letting her care for me was the best gift of all.”

Kristoff wiped at a stray tear that threatened to fall as he recalled the memory.

“Sorry,” he murmured with a slight, self-conscious chuckle.

Anna wiped at his cheek with her finger, drying his tears and holding his face in her gentle hand. She hushed his apology and spoke to him in a soothing voice.

“Kristoff, that’s such a beautiful story.”

He nodded and met her eyes, suddenly unafraid to show her his that were glistening with the beginnings of happy tears.

“Do you have any favorite holiday memories?”

“Hmmm, let me think.”

She took a moment, face scrunched up in contemplation, before continuing.

“There was this one year when Elsa was the first to wake up on Christmas morning. I always woke up before her, so it was kind of a big deal and I teased her about it a bunch. But anyway, we went downstairs together, and there was this beautiful dollhouse left for us. It was so detailed. Elsa and I played with it all the time. I, uh, kicked it once in one of the first weeks Elsa went away because I was so upset. My mom got mad at me and took it away, so I don’t know where it is anymore. But I loved that thing. We both did. And that was such a beautiful Christmas, too. My dad sang for us by the fire and Elsa and I danced all night. I hope we can do things like that now that I have a family again.”

Anna squeezed Kristoff’s hand at the word family. He was family. He smiled, heart surging at the reminder that they had a lifetime of holiday memories to make together. He’d throw her a Christmas party every night if it meant filling her life with the light she had missed out on all those years.

“You’re never going to be alone again.” He said it like a promise, so soft and sure into the night.

Anna’s breath hitched at his words, and she placed a gentle kiss to his lips, stopping only to murmur against them. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Kristoff blushed. Despite all the time they had spent together, the smallest actions still gave him butterflies.

Anna yawned then as they parted, arms thrown up over her head in a stretch that told Kristoff the tiredness had finally caught back up to her.

“Alright, it’s bedtime.” Kristoff wasn’t sure what time it was, but he knew by the way her eyelids fluttered it was time for them to sleep. He put their empty mugs up on his desk and picked up Anna before she could protest, carrying her into his bed and placing her down gently before crawling in beside her.

“We’re going to see your family next week, right?” Anna asked as another yawn overtook her, and she resumed drawing tiny circles on Kristoff’s chest with an absentminded hand.

“Yes. They’re so excited to see you.”

“And we’re doing that thing at the orphanage, too, right?”

“Mmhmm.”

Anna had started lining up gifts for the kids at the orphanage weeks ago in preparation for their visit there. Another yawn overtook her, and Kristoff smiled as he watched the way her eyes closed and her mouth fell into a gentle smile. “Merry Christmas, Kristoff,” she said into his chest.

“Merry Christmas, Anna,” he replied as he held her closer and felt himself drifting to sleep right behind her.

#winterwonderlandfrozine #kristanna

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