#like I find ghetsis creepy too but at least in a funny way

[lollitree]

So Ghetsis is just straight up a horrible manipulative person but you can TELL, he has an evil look in his eye. Not to mention his over the top attire.

Giovanni however is just plain creepy. Every interaction I have with him in Poke Masters leaves me feeling very uncomfortable I hate it

#like I find ghetsis creepy too but at least in a funny way #giovanni gives me the creeps #i dislike speaking to him immensly #notart #pokemon #pokemon masters ex #every other villain is friendly and says sweet things sometimes #but those two are horrible #its 3am so its random thoughts time #so you get a day with archie and giovanni interaction and theyre both looking out to sea #but with giovanni the play character doesnt want to go anywhere near him meanwhile they run straight up to archie #also dont get me wrong Ive been loving the giovanni event and very much enjoyed getting my giovanni to EX with his white and pink suit #and Im hype to have his mewtwo mega evolve #but I hate speaking to him #pls I just want you to stand there and look pretty dont talk to me

[cloudbatcave]

One Boy’s Quest to Find People He Doesn’t Hate: A Journey

“I don’t want to do a favor for someone who isn’t stronger than me”

do you challenge everyone who so much as asks you to hold the door, dancer man? that seems like an inefficient way to live your life. though I admit that being randomly asked to join a dance team by a stranger is weird. not sure how a battle proves I’m legit, though.

I beat him and he is duly impressed, and then I walk into an alleyway where a strange man wearing sunglasses gives me the TM Flash, because I guess the censors were on holiday or something.

I also rediscovered one of the dumber aspects of this game nobody liked: the surveys you could give to other people. I wander around the office where the statisticians work and one says that he’s lonely and wants me to come visit sometimes.

Can I use the xtransceiver to call my mom? The nonexistence police? Anyone? STRANGER DANGER. Also, this guy has a whole office full of people to talk to, unless they all find him creepy and avoid him, which would be valid.

I also fought a guy who said “battle me, I won’t take no for an answer” and then “aren’t you being too hard on me?” when he lost. 

Again with the unfortunate phrasing but also I’m very sorry this fight you initiated backfired. It’s almost like challenging random people is a stupid system, but what do I know.

“I am better at pokemon battles than I am at work” says an office worker, sadly. That’s rough, buddy. Have you considered not sucking?

My pidove evolved and I’ve always found the gen 5 evolution animation weird because the pokemon...breaks into little pieces, whirls up in a funnel cloud, and then reassembles. I know pokemon generally makes as much sense as a chocolate oven, but still.

I like making the street people in castelia dodge around me as I obey no laws or god.

“It’s difficult to watch tv from here. it’s not your concern though.”

sure isn’t!

oh no, the plot

“Team plasma, they took this young lady’s pokemon”

Good for them! Moving up in the world from stealing useless skulls.

“Chirae, is there anything we can do?”

That sounds like a question for anyone who’s not me.

“I heard this lady’s scream and ran after the thief as fast as I could”

Oh, Iris, you’re so well-intentioned. Wait, if you did that then why the hell am I here.

“But this city is so big and so crowded…I’m afraid I lost them.”

Iris, you have dragons. Can’t you just, I don’t know, FLY AFTER THEM?

“Iris…you did everything you could.”

I beg to differ, Burgh.

“But that’s so bad! Taking people’s pokemon is really bad!”

you know what else is bad? wasting my fucking time

“Cause it’s really nice when people and pokemon are together!”

why we haven’t we already started hunting down plasma instead of standing here spouting platitudes. time’s a-wastin’

“No fear! We will get that pokemon back. Right, Chirae?”

I mean, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to.

Burgh says finding someone in Castelia is comparable to finding a needle in a haystack. He must not have noticed that the streets don’t actually have that many buildings, because this is still gen 5 and Nintendo hasn’t yet developed Lumiose “Overcompensation” City.

Then a Plasma grunt conveniently walks up, before running away because OH NO A GYM LEADER as if Burgh isn’t roughly as intimidating as a pile of tapioca with hair. It’s Iris he should be afraid of.

At least Iris gets put on Bianca babysitting duty while I go star in an episode of CSI: Castelia. Small mercies.

Naturally, with this urgent mission in mind, I go battle another dancer dude.

I get rewarded for helping the dance team form with an amulet coin, which is handy.

I faff about on the part of the next route I can access, but eventually hit the block that will be there until I complete CSI: Castelia. I return and eventually wander back into the plot.

“No one’s here! Not a soul!”

Says the Team Plasma grunt as he stands in front of a hotel accompanied by two buddies, hoping to roll a nat 20 on stealth while forgetting he has -5 to that because of his stupid fucking outfit.

“No other team plasma members, nor any of the seven sages, are inside.”

Sounds legit. Can I go now?

“…If you think I’m lying, why don’t we have a little battle and find out?”

Your funeral.

The game gives me the option of saying yes or no, which is hilarious as it’s never given me a choice in the past. Let’s see what happens if I say no.

“Don’t scare me like that. Come on!”

What.

Now I’m getting guilt tripped by Burgh. Why don’t you just battle them yourself, Mr. Gym Leader? Isn’t that all you’re good for? Or do you rely on children as meat shields? Very brave of you.

I vine whip the sandiles into submission and the grunt whines that all he ever did was steal.

All I ever did was breathe and I got press-ganged into the police force, we all have our problems.

He then whines about how this is bad for team plasma. “Plasbad, for short.”

That hurts. That hurts me deeply. That is a greater crime than anything else they’ve done and now I actively want to destroy them. It has become personal.

“It’s in my best interest to go report to the Seven Sages right now!”

Really? That’s your instinct, not bailing? You were at the back of the line the day common sense was handed out, I guess.

Iris and Bianca pop up and Iris says she got lost. How I don’t know, given all I did was stroll straight down the main street and I bumped into Burgh and Cosplay Co.

Oh boy, it’s Ghetsis, worst dad of the year winner. Plus his two backup dancers and the grunts.

One of the seven sages says he thought it’d be funny to have a hideout in front of a gym, but that they were detected more quickly than he imagined.

God’s born fools, every one of them.

Ghetsis just says “Indeed” like that isn’t the stupidest shit he’s ever heard. How do these people get anything done.

“No matter. We already have an exceptional base of operations.”

What is it, a treehouse with your names spray-painted on?

“Is everyone familiar with the legend of the founding of the Unova region?”

On a scale of yes to no, I don’t care.

Iris answers him like we didn’t come here for the express purpose of kicking these people into the ground and getting Bianca’s pokemon back. Hello?? Why are we being distracted by this.

blah blah legend blah blah dragon

“We shall bring the hero and that Pokemon back to Unova once again!”

I hate LARPers who take it all too seriously, don’t you?

“If we can win people’s hearts and minds, we can easily create the world that I - I mean, Team Plasma - desires!”

Current winner of most ironic line in the game so far.

Burgh does his spiel about diversity and loving pokemon. Ghetsis thinks this is cute and gives Bianca’s pokemon back, for some reason.

Iris gives me a berry because I guess that’s how the press-ganged children are paid around here. Better than nothing.

#cloud plays white