#like cooking! i unpacked this huge 1k+ page thick cookbook thing and remembered that i had a phase where i liked to cook

[deus-ex-mona]

there’s a non-non-zero chance of success though… _(:3 」∠)_

#long depressing rant in the tags incoming ig? take warning!! #maybe it’s bc it’s 3am and i’m tired or maybe it’s bc of the 8-9 hour old fried vermicelli that i just gave up on eating but my head hurts~~ #or maybe it could even be bc i spent like 3 hours unpacking my boxes (note: my fam moved last month) instead of chilling like i wanted to… #either way i saw some things while unpacking that i really should’ve left in the distant past and i’m feeling as empty as my stomach pre-米粉 #though i did uncover a dogtag i had engraved years ago with nothing but a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on it so that was pretty funny #but other than that… i remembered all the weird things i had given up on in the past via the things i unearthed… #like cooking! i unpacked this huge 1k+ page thick cookbook thing and remembered that i had a phase where i liked to cook #then i remembered that i had mistaken salt for sugar while making some meat dish with a ton of soy sauce and byebye cooking confidence :( #and to add to that i also read a past essay of mine about my culture and i remembered my grandma and i. yeah. #and i also saw stuff from my old hobbies that i had to give up on due to money/time constraints and i just. yeah. #and not to forget all the stuff from my former friends… i swear i always get ghosted the moment we affirm that we’re friends lol #am i a walking maxed social link or something? lol? yeah i have no irl friends. none. #i’ve gotten used to it though~ i don’t mind having no friends. it leaves me with more time for myself and my sleep~ #it’s just that… sometimes i get the urge to hop over the country border for some ~chewing gum~ shopping… but there’s no one to go with lol #or like when i see interesting-looking events going on at local attractions but there’s no one to check it out with… or something. #and that got me wondering… am i just wasting my life or something? it’s a new year right? so i should make some lifestyle changes too right? #…​and so i bought a hairdryer for the first time a few days back. yeah. that’s enough change for 1 year. lol #who needs friends when you can have a nice warm hairdryer? blast away good pal!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyways yeah. that’s my 3am rant of the day. sorry if you read this lol #sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂 #h e lp i forgot to disable rbs on this for a bit i hate 3am brain smmmm </3