#like my brain is always on fire n im always alone n so i Shld b able 2 deal w this? most evry1 i kno is like ya this is normal life 4 me so

[imy2]

tlkin abt shows vlongtext

A) watched carol & the end of the world n it was nice to see fat main characters n also for their fatness to not be the central point of them, carol was relatable too .. 'to know that with all this potential i should've raised up but i never did' , - well to me that's how it felt.. 4/5

B) watched kipo ataowb again - loved it ofc, didnt love the fitness raccoons djjgnjd what a ridiculous sentence.. ok they were fine actually im just sensitive </3 then dave aop saying 'that was twice the calories' ... again whatever actually.. 5/5

1-1} just started z nation again :p i love murphy i do .. strapped down n eaten alive like. then dragged around by some military fucks in the apocalypse.. •

"yeah well why don't you take it then" - "don't leave me to the zombies man. don't leave me! don't let me turn, you bastard - pike me! pike me or i will hunt you down and eat your brains!" , and right beforee - hammond 'i give you mercy' to the other prisoner , if that's not a set up. murphy kept chasing that mercy ahhh i feel him i do. then ofc warren right after. 'i give you mercy'. yeahyeah .. •

"it's ok, she was ready to go" "aren't we all" garnett lmfao. •

"well i guess i won't shoot him.. yet" warren's first line to(kinda) murphy. i love rewatching. •

"an ex cop and some others taking shelter in a prison up the road" nod to twd o.O man i shld be allowed to fight rick. nyway.. •

didnt rmbr sketchy and skeezy being ep1 love that excited to watch their story again•

8 bites ur kiddin me.. murphy 🤝 me •

aww 10k intro is saving doc ofc •

zombaby will always be so great .. WAIT i didnt rmbr he fking kills hammond.. welp.. deservedkinda .. lmfaoo "none of this would've happened if you just left the baby" "i didn't tell hammond to go get eaten by a baby" garnett laugh2 •

ahhh citizen z ofc... "here's a little smth for all of u out there w 3000 miles of bad road btwn u and home.. i hope u can hear it" .. 'have mercy or u don't have nothing at all and you're still alive!' •

ok unexpected liveblog of ep1 over...

d2 / /

1-2} we were made to walk thru this fire <- e2 end song, truee o7•

1-3} cassandra ugh <3 :'( each time it gets me so bad •

"everybody out there - whether you're hiding in a cave or running for your life, just keep doin' whatcha gotta do to stay alive; bash 'em, slash 'em, bust 'em, and burn 'em ... whatever it takes, just stay alive - no questions asked." <- citizen z ep3 (lol), 2024 motto ? •

1-4} "i'm telling you - there ain't nothin' there. no thoughts, no memories, no soul - nothing." where'sss my gif.. -"he just, you know, he seemed so... trapped. I couldn't even tell if there was a real person still in there sometimes." zombies 🤝 me (alcoholism esp ofc)•

ahhh doc airvent, classicc... "give me a kiss baby" ok doc did look hot n all covered in zombie guts sayin that but i'd look hotter ^_^ •

1-5} "it got to a certain point where i just gave up - didn't care if i lived or died. then a funny thing happened.. i didn't die. and with everything that's happened, it's been harder and harder to remember the past. i guess that's a good thing, right?" damn garnett. •

citizen z pouring a shot into his dogs used bowl then going 'oops' n drinking it himself. very real i wouldve done that .. "the only thing worse than drinking alone is not drinking" nooo citizen z dont tell me those words •

goodbye murphy's hair u wont be seen again for a while.. his first 4eps look was so cute, his now bald look is nice too•

"and suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. yet it is only love which sets us free." awwww don't think i've ever noticed antoine's writing of that poem in the photobook warren looks at ;-; 'my love always' <3 "i have to wait for him this time. i owe him that much. - it's like you said, i can't start forgetting til i know." •

1-6} damn then right after.. first time sex w new lovr getting interruptd for them to be killed. literally tragic •

"but if we're lucky, someday this will be over.and next time, i hope we get it right." real of u citizen z •

1-7} sketchy again! "we navigated our way up" - "we" with no mention yet of skeezy bc duh ofc "we" . •

1-8} "murphy - don't you leave." "you got me as far as you could." ... "you came back." "i did." •

1-9} "we don't leave each other behind." "i came back for you - i'll always come back for you." / "we never stood a chance." "woah. woah, hold on. what are you saying to me?" "think about it, like.. our relationship - what's it based on? .. we don't even know each other." "we've kept each other alive. we've been there for each other. ... yeah, yeah - we got a lot of bad shit to go through before this is all over, but.. i need you. i don't know what you're talking about, 'we don't have a chance'." "for the last three years, we have never thought about anything past tomorrow. ,, what kind of future do you and i have? what are we gonna do - we gonna get married? , i can't even think about that stuff, like it's crazy, it's impossible." "but we have each other." .... idc abt mack rly also addys s1 hair is ofc atrocious •

1-10} "if i haven't said anything lately - thank you so much, universe - for my whole situation! .. i'm not like other boys, i do not give mercy." murphy again •

1-11} "aw man don't get down on yourself like that; you're a perfect hunk of man-meat, don't you ever forget it." lol doc...also im surprised every time lucy happens s1 •

1-12} murphy got his cool eyes on now.. i want those eyes •

1-13} oo i feel bad for murphy.. doc casually tlking abt leaving him to be experimented on :( also the group casually tlkin abt splittin up.. wdym its the apocalypse y wldnt u stick together...•

oh cassandra :((• also newmurphyagain..welcome blueman

welp that's s1 done.. not sure if will continue taking notes.. just been anxious so occupying time :p

nvm cant sleep yet hehe..

2-1} cassandra :( murphy -_- absolutely atrocious•

"maybe there are worse things than being a zombie. maybe being a starving, fearful, violent, vindictive human is worse." nooo .. too real murphs(lol).. #alcoholism•

ooo hey vasquez •

'love her forever and ever again and love's made a fool out of me' need to listen to that sounded good •

okayyy.. now sleep ig..

#h-vom

[gumdecay]

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#quarantine has lichrally just regressed me back to like 14/15 b4 n aftr my 1st psych hospitalization n like........ idk wat 2 do abt that #like my brain is always on fire n im always alone n so i Shld b able 2 deal w this? most evry1 i kno is like ya this is normal life 4 me so #it has no real affect meanwhile im here like.......... literally ruining everything in my life 4 no reason othr than wat else am i gnna do?? #n i cant evn rlly talk abt it evn on this semi anonymous blog on this dead fucking website bc its disgusting n shameful n shitty?? like?? #idk. i feel like a Genuinely Bad Prsn n thats not enuf 2 stop me doing nything but like. i wish it were?? i have such high ideals in my head #n i hold othr ppl 2 such ridiculous high standards (which ofc they fail 2 meet n i hate them 4 it but dnt say nything bc theyre impossible 2 #meet) but when it comes 2 myself i see who i Cld B n who i Am n i do nothing 2 try n bridge the gap?? like?? idk. i dnt have the brain 2 #rlly explain how i mean but. how fucked is it that we have the Concept of Perfection but its literally nvr reachable in Any Sense?? like #whats the point. js but if id made this world n this life n the concept of humanity?? perfection wld b achievable. bc what the fuck else is #the point??? literally what is the point of living if u cant evr reach perfection n what is the point of trying 2 b good @ all if u cant evr #reach perfection n what the FUCK is the point of having perfection as a concept if u can nvr evr reach it no matter how hard u try??? #so w/e. im evil now. lmao