#look what happened to the hindenburg sucked but i feel like we should have had safety concerns beforehand

[pirirps]

mythbusters starters: season 5

i guess the moral of this story is, don’t paint your airship with rocket fuel.

this ingredient is made of blur. and this ingredient has some blur in it too. this is very dangerous. don’t mix blur with blur.

that took almost ten times longer than the hindenburg took to burn. the entire hindenburg.

if you’re getting chased by a crocodile, you can easily escape them by running in a zigzag pattern, because they can not turn corners.

they’re fishnet stockings.

oh no, they’ve got feathers on them still!

megadope!!!

duuuuudearonomy!

is everybody okay?

oh noooo! the crocodiiiiiilleee!!!

this should solve the mystery once and for all.

you want three zeppelins in a day? we’ll give you three zeppelins in a day.

these things are always catchin’ on fire!

and that, kids, is the textbook definition of “irony”.

next up on discovery: the world’s deadliest piñata!

why are they hissing?

i’ve been watching a lot of professional wrestling on television, so i’ve learned a lot of wrestling moves, and i’m gonna test them out on this crocodile.

there’s only one thing left: plan c. and that’s c for “crazy”.

that’s crocodiles… but what about ALLIGATORS?

this thing is going to buuuuuurrrrnnn.

if you’re driving around with a truck full of birds, and the birds take flight, will your truck get lighter?

the birds will be too fat to fly!

____’s pain threshold is way lower than a pigeon’s.

is that photoshop?

oka [voice cracks] ay.

the only evidence they have is this photo and accompanying reports.

his ocd kicks in– that’s “obsessive crash disorder”.

ooooohh, five bucks?

[smashing things with a sledgehammer] i am! so! sick! of! _________!

bueno! that’s spanish for “good”.

i’m gonna do my pole dance.

just had to mention the weather, didn’t you?

_______ makes it look so easy when he does it!

team unity is the first casualty.

seeing as ______ and ______ are rejecting each other’s reality and substituting their own, this argument is going nowhere.

i guess it didn’t happen exactly the way it was reported.

i wanna see some carnage.

okay, escape plan: same as last time.

i’m givin’ up.

i think it’s gonna be a web-shooter.

i’m ready. [covers crotch with hands] yeah, i’m ready.

see what happens when we pull this string.

with thoughts of unemployment crowding his mind, how could he fail?

is he saying “red rum”?!

no, my dog voice doesn’t work.

look into my eyes… deeper… you will fall into a deep, deep sleep!

exactly! except we won’t kill people.

can i be hypnotized to do something against my will?

i know he’s not that good an actor.

just because we can’t do it doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

i don’t like the idea of this.

this is trickery.

the only way that any of that would’ve made sense is if music started playing and he started taking his clothes off.

this is the burrito.

that’s high explosives, huh? it looks more like a taco.

you’re gonna shoot my hat off?

i’m gonna shoot your hat off.

oh, can we break out of jail? i’ve always wanted to do that!

yippee-ki-yay!

when they made _____, they broke the mold.

so this is what you were expecting all along, and you were just gonna watch us bumble around with this?

just imagine what i could do with steel-toed boots.

i’m sick of being the guy that throws up on camera.

i’m afraid of commitment and i don’t think that’s gonna change.

you’ll know it works because i’ll come back with, like, purple eyes.

spin me, baby.

come on! i wanna see you blow chunks!

attaboy!

i just can’t stand those things. they freak me out.

that 100% sucks.

i didn’t want to listen to you going “dude, it’s totally okay. dude, it’s totally okay. dude, it’s totally o–”

the fake blood department would have its hands full.

i’m tired of being the ______ guinea pig.

you know when you haven’t eaten for a while, and you’re just throwing up bile? yeah. this is just bile.

never leave your position, _____!

boys will be boys.

well, actually, i heard this one about this guy, and he had a jet pack?

why does it smell like this? what did he keep in here?

all in the name of science, of course.

y’know, something tells me that this is, maybe, not the best of the options.

if you’re thinking that a refrigerator is going to contain a grenade, you’re dead wrong.

we’re what you’d call “experts”.

you can jump around, make cat noises, do karate chops, all kinds of adolescent behavior like we know you love to do.

what makes you think i have a ninja costume?

well, maybe we should start by finding a real ninja.

i’m hoping _____ won’t get hurt too bad. a little bit is good.

jimmy choo can rest easy.

decapitation hazard, everybody!

people say i’m not that quick.

[trying to sword fight with a measuring tape]

[clapping] yaaaaaaayy!

not many people know this, but ______ comes from an ancient line of nine generations of shoe-tiers.

come, silent walrus! let us storm the castle! i will don my safety gear!

the important thing is that i look damn good.

______ were not at all above trying to encourage the belief in their supernatural powers.

they wanted people to fear their magical powers.

do it like your life depends on it.

thanks for that motivation, ______.

don’t think of it as a competition… but it is.

a ninja must go to the bathroom before he swings his sword.

he hasn’t looked this incensed since star trek was cancelled.

this thing’s starting to look like a monster. pretty soon you’re not even gonna recognize it.

everybody knows being caught on the rebound doesn’t count.

he stopped it with his head.

hai! ikimashou! – that’s “let’s go” in japanese.

whoo! if i had any dignity, that would have been humiliating.

i’m stealthy as the night.

don’t i look like silent death, bringing justice in the night?

so i notice you have all your fingers.

wow, you have a lot of confidence in her. more than we do.

so you mean all those ninja movies were not true?

it’s water. it’s… got something else in it. but. it’s water.

there’s nothing _______ would rather do than play in a giant tub of goo.

ohh, that’s so funky! ooooohhh, duuuude, that feels so wrong!

come on in, the water’s great!

is that legal in baseball?

it’s ever so slightly totally illegal.

something’s gonna go somewhere it shouldn’t, we’re gonna have mayhem one way or another, but– what the heck, it’s all in the name of science, right?

it’s a brand new, high-speed, intricate rig with multiple moving parts. seriously, what are the chances that it’s going to work the first time?

[cupping hands over mouth to make walkie talkie noises] one small step for man… one giant leap for mankind.

aaaaand the bat is still there.

swing like you’re pissed off.

do you watch ANY sporting events?

yeah, i watch sports. i watch robot combat.

how ‘bout humid balls?

there’s actually a lot more to baseball than you might think.

great. because there’s nothing we’re better at than organized sports, right?

HEY batta batta batta, SWING batta batta batta, SWING!

is it a bird? is it a plane?

it’s fight club– superhero style.

no one can run at the speed of light, no one can spin webs, and no one turns green when they get angry and has super-strength.

if we’re gonna do this in true superhero fashion, i think you all need to put your underwear on the outside of your pants.

it’s a key component on the belt of… nocturnal echolocating flying mammal man.

in a never-ending fight against crime, superheroes often have to leap tall buildings.

we’re gonna have to do this one for real, man. we can’t fake it this time.

it’s a little bigger than batman’s.

i’m not in really great shape like batman is, but, you know, i’m gonna try.

that’ll feed my family for a month!

you all set, batman?

i’m all set, boy wonder!

i don’t remember batman having this much trouble.

ladies and gentlemen, there’s a new superhero on the block.

if you guys don’t mind, i’m just gonna lie here for a little while.

superheroes big and small are getting put to the test.

he’s that guy who could punch people so hard he left a scar in the shape of the skull on his ring.

if we can’t punch each other, who are we gonna punch?

as we know, ____ was raised by robots.

i need these two in adamantium, and these two in kryptonite.

his name is porkloinio. he’s an evil… pig… man.

our comic book criminal is down for the count.

you know, i can’t me _____man all the time. sometimes… i just have to be _____.

batman probably didn’t get it on his first try, either.

let’s go be batman.

what’s in the bag?

i like how she does the little hair flip.

holy awesomeness, _____!

this is gonna be the coolest batmobile ever!!!

holy air-cannon, _____!

this is actually the most dangerous thing i’ve built in a long line of dangerous things.

oh! newton’s laws! we forgot newton’s laws!

who says superheroes don’t bleed?

it’s not good for the image to be seen taking the elevator.

while it may look like an abandoned aircraft hangar, it is, in fact, a super-modern superhero training facility.

god, i hate these things. gimme a ladder any day of the week!

yeah, i still have to come up with a name for this thing. i’m thinking… “nocturnal echolocating flying mammal man’s cable shooter”.

this is all a little frightening.

this is definitely harder concrete than anything i’ve ever seen before.

curses! foiled again!

NOW LET’S GET OUT AND FIGHT SOME CRIME!!!

what is it with you and these robots?

i call the gun!

well, that’s gonna suck.

i can’t believe this is my job.

right, so here’s your motivation: you’ve just robbed a bank and you want to get away.

you know, this is my first surgery ever, aaaaaand– i feel like it went pretty well. i didn’t even go to med school, either.

i feel so sci-fi!

it’s probably gonna explode and she’s gonna lose her arm. i can’t wait to see that.

look, i think we’re already on enough government watch lists. let’s watch this one go.

that doesn’t seem very… logical.

now that’s an enterprising idea.

the ninja is making a comeback.

we killed the ninja!

yeah, but the law in the us and the uk is different.

where are we gonna get a car that can go 200 miles per hour?

this thing is beautiful. i think i’m gonna cry.

where’s the satellite radio? where’s the cup-holder? this is very primitive.

that’s on purpose. that’s what’s supposed to happen.

it’s really only demonstrable through telling a story.

the police are coming, so let’s wrap up and get out of here.

can i fire this one? can i? can i? can i? do you mind? do you mind? is it alright? 

you’re a freak!

now all we need is a 40-AA bra.

a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

i can’t look.

i just don’t know if these express me. i think i might want a different color.

is this as disturbing as i think it is?

it’s even more disturbing than you think it is.

[tosses bra on your face]

you need some help, big guy?

you didn’t take off your shirt, did you?

what are you, nuts?

it’s kinda dark in here. maybe we should light a fire.

it’s a bad idea to cross the streams.

he’s going through a rebellious phase and wanted to upset his mom.

ugh, it’s like you’re a mind-reader or something!

you pushed me out of the way, what the hell was that?!

i was giving you more of a challenge!

i like to live my life halfway like an action hero and halfway like a cartoon character.

[racecar noises]

i remember it like it was only yesterday…

i figure if you wanna get out of a ticket, short skirts and crying is still the way to go.

________ only works if the officer is human.

once the bumper goes back on, it’ll be fine, no one will know. … until they crash.

one car. almost two miles of runway. no speed limit. it’s just another day in ________ paradise.

i’m gonna have a fire suit on, a helmet, the whole nine yards. just in case i crash. and burn. and stuff like that.

ah, _____. ever the optimist.

based solely on my own intuition and on now practical experience whatsoever, i estimate that we can get this car up to 100 miles per hour.

let’s see ______ bat his baby blues now!

we’ve caught you red-handed!

i dunno, old man, maybe you just don’t have what it takes.

nitroglycerin? that’s explosive!

i mean, we break everything we touch.

when you say “we”, you mean “you”.

it’s going to be… potentially… the most lethal thing i’ve ever built.

this thing, if it works, will definitely kill you.

it’s like frankenstein’s laboratory.

well, y’know, normally the paddles don’t have serrated edges, but this is a homemade defibrillator.

think we could go get first place in the science fair?

this doesn’t look dangerous enough. you think we should go get some buckets of water to stand in? or turn on the sprinkler system?

just put your safety glasses on.

she made it!

yeah, i’m sure my mom will watch this later and she’ll be like, “augh! not again!”

it’s open season on speedsters.

you know what? i’ll save you some time. it’s probably illegal.

i’ll eat my hat if this is legal in even one state.

it’s enough to make your hair stand on end!

want an umbrella?

that seems reeeeeeeeeally reeeeeally really dangerous.

lots of water? large amounts of electricity? i don’t see a danger in that at all.

i… didn’t think it was gonna hurt me. i thought i had that one under control.

can someone unwrap me?

turn off the camera and help me get out of this thing!

i love being wrong.

you did very good, sweetie.

well, i’m pretty sure no one is going to sell us nitroglycerin.

can i drive the car?

all that’s left now is to gently break _____’s heart.

i’ve got a little somethin’-somethin’.

nice work, speedy gonzalez.

we’ll be checking in often.

weren’t you a bugler in the civil war?

trust ____ to turn a trombone into an instrument of torture.

why don’t we let the narrator explain?

nag, nag, nag.

you’d think we would learn.

it’ll toast your waffles to almost 3000 degrees.

it’s in the danger zone.

excellent! danger!

[smashing things with hammers] ABANGADABANGADABANGADA–

did you see the death star when it went out? i want an explosion like that.

_____’s mug is looking smug.

i bet you’re wondering why i’m standing here holding a plunger.

it gets me all steamed up just thinking about it.

_____’s going to be playing cowboy.

okay, so, the ranch actually has a psychic horse.

god, this seems like a really stupid idea.

deedoo! deedoo! deedoo! fashion police!

do you feel any heat? in your pants, i mean.

our patient is sick.

jim morrison, eat your heart out!

there’s no way of doing this without looking creepy right now.

he’s a genius… a demented genius!

are we gonna have to amputate his legs?

badabing, badaboom.

welcome to the ______ clubhouse!

tight jeans look very foxy.

this kind of stress on a regular basis can’t be good.

it just goes to show, there’s danger everywhere.

did you know what was lurking in your basement?

do either of you want my jeans that were dragged through horse manure?

gee, that sounds like fun!

i’m gonna go talk to him, find out what he knows.

have i ever told you that i sing in _____’s band twice a month?

he was voted in germany the sexiest tv star alive, second only to david hasselhoff.

i was a small wookiee in star wars episode 3.

no you weren’t, because i would have seen you, because i was also a small wookie in star wars episode 3!

i haven’t been this excited since my last cage match!

we have a few friends in law enforcement.

you ever get the feeling people are watching us work?

zis… it may look like simple clockwork, but… i seenk of it as a map of ze most complex clockwork art, like ze planets. it is not a planetary gear, but i seenk of it as a planetary gear because each thing, like a planet, moves in its place and goes where it should. it is not only a map of ze planets, it is also a map of ze atom! in zis vay, the microcosm is the macrocosm! and phylogeny recapitulates ontology!

that is so creepy!

i feel a total kinship with the guys who made this thing.

it put a dent in a quarter inch of steel.

i’m very pleased. and terrified.

our criminal mastermind has the details.

oh, this sucks. this went from fun to not fun.

is your first name salvatori?

i got the third degree.

my happy-slash-erotic thoughts are puppies licking my face and scantily clad women.

i don’t like people asking me unexpected questions like that. i’ve seen montel. i know how they get people.

_____ and _____ are involved in a steamy affair.

it’s a ballsy plan.

what can i say? i’m not cut out for crime.

i didn’t bring me bikini. did you bring yours?

[driving right past the building] we are looking for… the _____…

that sucks. that sucks!

have you ever ridden on the bus long distance before?

i don’t wanna take this test. can i opt to not take this test?

i think he’s dead.

it’s shiny. it looked like a fun thing to take.

well, looks like we get to take that cross-country trip you’ve been talking about.

i might forgive you, but not for the next two days.

now drop and give me twenty.

c'mon, c'mon, we need to come up with something!

so in all of your eclectic careers, have you ever gone and gotten a pilot’s license?

this is all alien to me.

why’s it telling me not to think?

unfortunately, i died. and all of my passengers and my crew died with me.

hey, it’s like we’re stormchasers!

that’s a bird, dude.

so that’s what they look like inside…

[addressing the beeping computer] what? what? i don’t know what to do?

i– i– i– crashed. i crashed. i landed in some farmland about ten miles out of denver.

adios amigo!

OH SSSSSHHHUCKS!!!

we’re doing point blank! can’t you tell? i’m keanu reeeves!

i have a feeling this will probably be a new high in terrifying moments in my life. 

what are we, like, ten?

[UNINTELLIGIBLE HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING]

I’M ALIIIVEEE!!! I’M AAAALLLIIIIIIIVVVEEE!!!

so get this–

ever since people invented planes, they’ve been wanting to throw themselves out of them.

we’re gonna go to some hot night clubs.

i just gotta remember to breathe, not shit my pants, not pass out, and not scream like a little girl.

______, i’m frightened!

what kind of special treat do you have for me today?

for your sake, i hope so! [maniacal laughter]

are you gonna stay in-character this entire time?

when it comes to magnets, i’m your guy.

it looks like a watch, but it’s not.

it’s really good that we get this chance to bond.

it’s a classic james bond maneuver.

in the words of dr. no: “we never fail, mr. bond.”

i’m sick of these monkey suits.

moneypenny never packed a piece like this!

it’s best not to anger ______ when he’s got a steel girder in his hands.

well, i’m just gonna go for this and hope for the best.

i’m gonna be rc-ing this boat. and then maybe i’ll let _____ sit in it and then let it go out of control.

allow me to demonstrate with secret agent yarn.

anyone else feeling like an evil genius?

today, propane tanks. tomorrow– world domination!

you’ve had your last martini, _______!

as many times as we do this, i don’t get used to how much fun it is.

i mean, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

let’s go get a couple of martinis.

have you lost your damn mind?

cowabunga! let’s rip it up!

i am ready to rip it and– shred some– some stuff. did i say that right?

is it really impossible to fly a lead balloon?

yup, the insurance doesn’t cover that.

robot! i knew it!

ready to hang ten?

how’s he gonna hang ten? he’s got no feet.

you look nervous.

yeah, spank that water!

is it just me, or is he trying to clone himself and make a little army?

the ingeniously named "step 2" is complete.

i still want more... balloon-ness.

if someone says it’s impossible, we just take it as a challenge!

the kids can’t help but destroy their creation.

#meme #*mine #rp starters #sentence memes #sentence starters

[the-record-columns]

Nov. 22, 2017: Columns

A Thanksgiving Than You…

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

               In last week's column, in which I wrote of the various items I might have taken to the Friends of the Library's Wilkes Antique Roadshow, I mentioned several pieces, including a beautiful Helene Curtis Empress Permanent Wave machine from about 1918. I was given this amazing piece of history by Arlene Staley of Arlene and Friends Hair Designs at Melody Square in North Wilkesboro.

I have been meaning to mention this machine earlier, but had not gotten around to it. However, because we are full-swing into the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, we get much more company at our offices of The Record and Thursday Printing than most other time of the year, and I have written often in this space that my visitors are very often the best part of my day.

               Well, this past Friday evening was the North Wilkesboro Downtown Partnership's annual event, Light Up Downtown. We opened up our offices and our apartment upstairs for company, and had probably the most visitors at any Light Up event in years. We call our apartment The Mayflower, named for the last business which occupied the space, The Mayflower Beauty Shop, and the front door still proudly displays the name, yea these 50 years since it closed.

               I will now tie all this together by reminding you that there is a story which goes along with almost everything that makes up the "poor man's museum" which our offices have become. That 100 year-old permanent wave machine almost looks scary to one who has no idea what it is for, and it often catches the eye of young and old alike, as they make their way though out office. When that happens, if time and circumstances allow, I tell them a short story.

               Being my mother Cary's baby boy, I went wherever she went. One day, I found us climbing up the 26 steps to the Mayflower Beauty Shop on B Street (now Main) in North Wilkesboro. "What are we doing here?" I queried. "I am going to get my hair done; a permanent." she replied.

               Up the steps we went and, sure enough, it looked as though they were going to blast her off into outer space by the time they got all those curler things rolled onto her hair. I was almost scared for her, but she was pleased with the results and that was good enough for me.

               In no time, or so it seemed, we were climbing those same steps again. We had basically the same conversation ending in, "I'm going to get a permanent." When I protested that she had just gotten one, she assured me that it was time for another. "Then it's not very permanent, is it?" I said. My mother got tickled, and, before she could explain that your hair grows out and such, I said to her, "Looks to me like they should call it a 'temporary.'" She was still laughing as we made our way into the Mayflower Beauty Shop.

               My mother Cary never drove a car. In her later years, when my father could no longer drive, she would periodically call me to take her to the beauty parlor, always remarking that she was in need of another "temporary," as she called getting her hair done for the rest of her life.

               And that, quite often, is one of the pleasures I get from the collection of old, odd, and eclectic things that make up the "decoration" in my office. My parents have been gone for 22 years this past spring, and I simply have no words to tell you how much I miss them. Also, most of their contemporaries are long gone, so any chance to remember them and share a story

 about them is priceless to me.

               So, among the many, many things I have to be thankful for during this week of Thanksgiving, one of them is always going to be my company. Because these people so often, without ever having any idea that they have done so, bring a special memory of my parents to mind, and ever so politely allow me to share it with them.

               It instantly makes their random visit the best part of my day.

               Another note on last week's column: For the Wilkes Antique Roadshow, I chose to take an absolutely gorgeous 1880 oak portable toilet, cleverly designed to look like an end table, and suitable for the finest bedroom décor. I was confident it would be the hit of the show. I was wrong. No one gushed to me about how great it was, and the appraiser, Mr. Schweikert, spent about 30 seconds telling me it was in good shape for what it was, and he then priced it at about half what I had in it. I suppose it remains a good thing that I buy things to keep, and not to sell. And, the last note: I have already picked out the piece to take next years event, and I can guarantee that this one will be the hit of the show. Me and Pearl Bailey both say so.

 Truly thankful on Thanksgiving

By LAURA WELBORN

               While it is easy to get ready for Thanksgiving and to remember to be thankful, how do we continue this mind altering practice?

               One way is to write down five things we are grateful for each day, by breaking it down into smaller pieces we can look closer at our lives and the small things to be grateful for.  Do this at night before you go to bed- this is important for several reasons the most important is that this is what you will have on your mind as you sleep.

               Too often I read a murder and mayhem book or watch a scary movie before bed and I have bad dreams all night. This helps wire your brain in a positive mode. Then the next morning when you wake up read the five things you wrote down, and it will start your day in a positive direction.  I think the practice of children saying their prayers before bed is a wonderful mindful practice tradition that we should carry over even after children are grown.  

               Then there are the times of crisis in health and situations where being thankful seems more than we can bear.

               Still do it.

               Make yourself do it even though it may seem cheesy.  Keep this in a journal so you can go back and look at what you were thankful for, or as a legacy of gratitude when you are gone. And if you look back and see the dates of when you were in tough times and yet still found something to be grateful for - it can inspire you to just how resilient you were.  This small practice actually helps the brain develop resiliency and the ability to overcome tragedy.  When your brain reads the words you wrote down the day before it releases serotonin -- which is like an antidepressant medication.  

               Praying for others has this same effect, the release of serotonin (the feel good hormone)  I try and write gratitude Christmas cards where I write why I am thankful for that person.  This really helps me get into the Christmas spirit and gives me a boost of serotonin, plus passes on a happy thought to another person.  I think of it as the next step after Thanksgiving towards Christmas. Gift giving is thinking about another person and intentionally thanking them.

               One more thought.

               On Nov. 7, we lost Eric Payne- longtime friend of many and strong supporter of Wilkes Heritage Museum.  My memories of Eric brings me a smile with his hats to fit all occasions and playing his accordion New Years Eve.        My favorite memory of Eric was this past fourth of July.  Eric had finished several rounds of chemotherapy but his spirits were high and he rode in the parade in an antique fire engine with his friend, Tom Graves. Tom and Eric joined us on the deck at our apartment to watch the fireworks and when I asked him if he enjoyed riding in the parade he said, "I had the time of my life." He then smiled and was one of the loudest to ooh and aah over the fireworks.     I will always keep this memory close to my heart and remember to see each experience as "the time of my life" being thankful in the moment as Eric was.

                  “Oh, the Humanity”

By HEATHER DEAN Reporter/Photojournalist

It's always a hard thing to lay a dear friend to rest, especially one who has fought the battle with cancer.

               Cancer sucks. So does Dementia, Alzheimer's, Lou Gehrig's disease, and a thousand other ailments that we watch our fellow humans suffer with everyday.

               Funerals are never an easy thing to attend. But you know what I love about funerals? It brings together people that I would have otherwise never met, get to meet someone that loved and adored this person, and hear things about them that I would have never known. It bonds people in a way that we could never be in life.

               This was the case at St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Wilkesboro on Saturday, at the funeral of Eric Payne, as I listened to one of his school chum's reminisce.

               This man and I had never met, but he echoed in his sentiments of the sweet soul that I knew Eric to be. For instance, it's hard to imagine Eric Payne ever being mad. And his school chum said he had never seen Eric mad, except once when someone was cruel to his dog. Eric loved his dogs.

               I've had the privilege to get to know and adore both Marilyn and Eric in the past several years, what with the historical Ghost Tours and Wilkes Heritage Museum goings on. I want to share with you my favorite story that Eric told me about he and Marilyn's marriage.

               Eric had said that they had never really had a fight; that in fact, whenever a quarrel did arise, the three words that would stop the discussion immediately and have them both in a fit of giggles was "Oh! The humanity!"

               He told me it started when he and Marilyn were watching a documentary about the Hindenburg.

"You can hear the news announcer live on radio giving details of everything that was transpiring. And then the newscaster exclaims "Oh! The humanity!!"

               "And we've used it ever since to diffuse whatever quarrel was arising."

 Maybe it gave them perspective- whatever was going on, it's not as terrible as being blown up in a blimp.

               Maybe it was their secret code, as most married couples have, for "you irk the crap out of me sometimes, but I love you more than life."

               Maybe it will just be something that the two of them shared, like no one else can, who knows?  

               What I do know, is that when I think of my friend Eric, I will forever remember the smile on his face, especially when he looked at his wife, his family, his friends, pat his chest and say "Boy, now this is the life right here."

               I'll miss that man and his accordion.

                            RIP

                     Eric Payne

    July  26, 1942-November 7, 2017

 Heather Dean is a theatre major working in jouralism. She keeps pinky promises, and never turns down shenanigans. You can reach her at [email protected]  

 Best friends

By EARL COX

Since its reemergence as a nation in 1948, Israel has suffered opposition on nearly every possible level. It has been attacked repeatedly in the military arena by its Arab neighbors, in the public relations arena by the world media, in the political and diplomatic arenas by the United Nations and the European Union, and in the religious arena by mainstream Christians and their Replacement Theologians.

               In recent years, however, a groundswell of support for Israel has arisen, creating a new and powerful friend for Israel in the form of Evangelical Christians. From all over the world these Evangelical Christian believers, including many Americans, are proud to be labeled as "Christian Zionists."

               They use their political, financial and spiritual leverage to help Israel withstand whatever attack might come next.

               Without the Evangelical Christian community standing in the breach with both prayer and action, the United States may have entered a free-fall in its foreign policy that would have ended in a far more hostile environment for Israel.

               The Obama White House encouraged, aided and facilitated the destabilization of the Middle East, as evidenced by its use of either diplomatic or military assets (or both) in Libya, Yemen, Tunisia, Egypt and Syria. Amidst all the political and social upheaval in the name of democracy, the result was the elevation of Islam, Islamic-centered constitutions, and Islamists being "elected."

               The longstanding tradition of the US being Israel's closest ally was arguably dismantled by the previous U.S. administration through positions and policies detrimental to Israel. While the Trump White House is working to reverse this, there has always been one ally that has remained steadfast to Israel … the Evangelical Christian.

               In America, many members of Congress and the Senate, various pro-Israel Christian organizations, conservative Christian media and Evangelical Christians in positions of influence are working to help guide the policies of this current administration as they relate to Israel ending the "blackmail foreign policy" of the Obama administration.  Remember the remarks of former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel (who is the current Mayor of Chicago)?  Rahm Emanuel sought to tie the US pressure against Iran's nuclear program to an Israeli unilateral land-for-peace giveaway. This "blackmail foreign policy" may have been far more severe if those remarks, said behind closed doors, had not been widely reported. Evangelical Christians shout the loudest about the lack of balance toward Israel at the United Nations, in the media and on college campuses where anti-Semitism and BDS cmapaigns are on the rise.

               Israel is one issue that energizes Evangelical Christians. As events in the Middle East continue to spiral out of control, Evangelical Christians are a valuable asset for Israel. It is this courageous and vocal group that makes up the hedge and stands in the gap for the nation of Israel and the Jewish people.

               Many people will remember back when Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu himself acknowledged that Evangelical Christians are "Israel's greatest friends." A few years back speaking to a large group of Christians in Washington D.C., Prime Minister Netanyahu said, "Israel has very few friends, and these Evangelical Christian leaders are the best friends that Israel has in all the world."  This sentiment is something which he has reiterated numerous times since.

               Many Evangelical Christian organizations in Israel, with support from Evangelical Christians around the world, are providing food and other assistance to thousands of Israeli immigrants and poor families. Others have provided portable concrete bomb shelters to protect Israeli residents living along the borders with Gaza and Lebanon. Christian radio and television networks in America are broadcasting Israel's message around the world. Millions of Evangelical Christians are proud to be considered Israel's best friends and supporters.

               They are not ashamed to speak out against the pro-Muslim and pro-Arab agendas of anti-Semitic hate groups.  These same Evangelical Christians are hard at work helping to pass pro-Israel legislation at the local and state levels as well as influence policy at the national level.

               The God of Israel does not need anyone to support Israel, but He tends to work through the hands, hearts and voices of men and women who seek to serve Him. One voice Israel can count on is the heart-felt cry of the Evangelical Christian, who stands with the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who happens to love Israel and the Jewish people whom He calls the 'apple of His eye.'

 A Lamb, a turkey, and Dressing

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

The Thanksgiving season is filled with traditions that celebrate family, food and a grateful heart.

If you close your eyes and imagine the perfect Thanksgiving gathering, chances are you will see family and friends gathered around the table with a grand meal featuring a beautifully prepared turkey. There will be a wide variety of side dishes with a generous offering of dressings and gravy.

Everyone has their favorite side dish. I posted the question to our Facebook followers. What is your favorite side dish for the Thanksgiving meal?  Variations of dressing or stuffing with gravy or cranberry sauce were by far at the top of the list.

Here are a few other favorite sides, Lynn Akers likes corn casserole, Robin Brueckmann has Mennonite heritage and enjoys corn pudding and shoofly pie. Karen Goodsell enjoys her grandmother’s recipe for Squash Casserole. Laura Crews is crazy about roasted Brussel sprouts with lemon pepper seasoning. Ann Graves is wild about Minnesota wild rise. Terri Reid enjoys a good Waldorf salad with her turkey. Micheal Nelson likes Strawberry salad. Bill Evans loves fresh turnip greens, and Vivian Hopkins likes Cranberry Salad. Dena Burton-Claus loves her dad’s creamy, flavorful mashed potatoes.

The last Thursday in November is our National Day to gather, be grateful, eat, play and for many get ready for the excitement Back Friday.  We do this every year, and in great part we have the author of Mary Had a Little Lamb to thank for the holiday tradition that brings so much joy. The story goes like this. Sarah Josepha Hale was a widowed mother of five children; she was a poet, writer, and editor.

Sarah became the literary editor of Godey’s Ladies Book, which became the most read magazine of the 19th century and it would be this platform that would give great momentum to her big project, which was to establish an annual day of Thanksgiving nationwide. On October 3, 1789, President George Washington proclaimed November 26th 1789 as a day of Thanksgiving for that year.

Sarah believed that America would be well served to have a set day every year to celebrate our great American Festival of Thanksgiving and for many years she would write letters to political leaders including five U.S. Presidents for this cause. It would be her letter written to President Abraham Lincoln on September 28, 1863, that yield the favorable response she was seeking. On October 3, 1863, President Lincoln’s Thanksgiving Proclamation was signed. There would be other Presidential Proclamations signed. However, it was this one that set the stage for many of the Thanksgiving traditions and foods we celebrate with today.

It is not in doubt that there was an event at Plymouth in 1621 where various people gathered for a meal and prayerful Thanksgiving. There are other recorded dates on which various forms of Thanksgiving was celebrated.  

The story of Sarah Josepha Hale is one for which we can be thankful. Sarah married David Hale, and for nine years they dedicated two hours, a day to study, and it was during this time that Sarah would gain confidence in the power of her mind. David died of a stroke, and Sarah became a widowed mother of five. Little did Sarah know that she would make a difference in the lives of three hundred million Americans. Mary’s Little Lamb would bring joy to countless children around the world and the turkey, dressing and all the other delightful sides and other traditions would give us all something to celebrate.

In our collage, President Lincoln is portrayed by our friend Authur Lightbody from Waxhaw NC. Photo credit: Titus Lightbody.