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#losing......so much patience with some people like. my younger cousins. im. GRR.and i love having some other people around
ilostyou
·
1 year
Text
lallaaalalala just some things on my mind
#this has been a rant
#<- in advance. im going off in the tags. xo
#getting close to making a decision abt doctoral programs is STRESSING ME OUT even tho i think ik which i'll choose
#one ik will be a good school environment and will be manageable but the other has much. better training and will prep me for
#literally anything i could want to do with a whole ass doctorate afterwards when im licensed
#next thing. i fucking hate that i have no clue what i look like objectively lmfao. losing weight is great and all (healthy) but
#it's fucking with my idea of myself even more than it ever was bc. now it's a 'bad' thing that some things look big on me
#(bc THEY FUCKING ARE lol) like today i ended up buying some clothes and yay great but like. my mom was like
#yeah so you can wear these instead of what. ur wearing now bc that's gotten big on you etc
#and im just ksjghdf it's just a little baggy and also i like it?? but ok whatevesjkdkfdhkh i like the. new ones too im juyst. ??
#just in general there's always gonna be Something yknow? annoying. anyway
#next thing is that im away w family rn and lovemy fam love spending time with them but it;'s been TWO DAYS and im already
#losing......so much patience with some people like. my younger cousins. im. GRR.and i love having some other people around
#but we're meeting up w the rest of our group tom and we'll basically be DOUBLE in size for the next week plus and im so
#nervous that i'm already at my last nerve with everyone adn that i'll be too overwhelmed/tired/etc that i won't enjoy the rest of the trip
#next thing is that it's WILD graduation is literally in six weeks but so mmuch has to happen before then it's making me dizzy
#other side note thing im beyond excited to see taylor and have weird anxiety about it but meh. im fucking PUMPED
#another thing. it's someones bday tomorrow who ive had a Rough year with (ive mentioned stuff abt them before) and it's just. weird feeling
#i dont rem if they even texted me for my bday now im curious im gonna go look lmfao but. obv i'll text them anyway
#it's just ... lots of weird feeling thinking abt how much has changed in a year with them. shrug
#ok maybe that's it woo
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