#maybe that's why i like the non-con alastor fics the best like yeah he WOULDN'T want this whatsoever

[diseaseriddencube]

I love ranking things I need to like, dump my Alastor shipping thoughts all over the place

radiodust: 2/10 I see why this was popular when it was just the pilot, but ugh uyrjdhgfhjskdfjhgfhjskkdfjghjkls I just don't see it. I love the way they interact on the old hunicast streams, not romantically but in the "get this disgusting spider away from me :))))" way, it's perfect. In fics, I do sorta enjoy Angel as a caretaker when Alastor is getting whumped, but that's about it.

radiostatic: 10/10 but in a one sided rivalry way, and the fact that they used to be friends????? omg. I thoroughly enjoy Vox being a massive simp and trying his hardest to get Alastor's attention as an enemy, and not even getting reciprocation. loser behavior. love it. he whacks off to glitched out pictures of alastor while cursing about how much he hates him the entire time.

radioapple: 10/10 i wouldn't have even CONSIDERED this pairing until Lucifer appeared and they randomly just decided They Are Gonna Fight. they are enemies to enemies. they'd kiss each other but only if they thought it would piss the other off. put them in a room together and they instantly start making petty arguments and insults. they are in a constant pissing contest and i wanna watch them like it's a drama tv reality show. there's hatesex and neither of them are happy about it.

radiorose: 9/10 i'm pretty on board with the rest of the fandom with this one, it's a qpr. I like the idea of Rosie being the one person he views as an equal, and someone he can be comfortable and intimate with. they have tea parties every weekend and gossip around like old ladies. they're like Kiss On The Cheek and Holding Hands sort of intimate, and more emotionally open. I think it's adorable and they look so good together. it's too soft of a ship for me to give a 10/10 to, i need violence and hate and horrors. married for tax benefits.

alastor x valentino: 0.5/10 i hate it so bad. but that .5 is just because there's a weirdly large amount of fics I loved with this ship as the premise, like I get excited seeing this in the relationship listings. (it's because all the fics are a non-con horrorfest-)

alastor x adam: -15/10 why. disgusting. the best alastor whump fics usually include him though, but I hate it as a pairing, it's only good because Alastor is getting his ass handed to him bloody and gored.

charlastor: 0/10 I see why people like it, but it is like a visceral Nope from me. I don't know why I dislike it but it just doesn't vibe with me whatsoever.

alastor x niffty: 2/10 there's a surprising lack of content from the canon and the fandom for this, so it's hard to even gauge their chemistry. i feel like it's a situation where alastor thinks of her like "oh yeah she's like my daughter I guess, i forget her name sometimes but she's kinda cute, I'm also a neglectful father, haha she's so silly"

alastor x husk: 0/10 no. i read like, one good fic for them and that's it they literally have nothing going for me.

alastor x mimzy: 3/10 needs more content and context. in old drafts they were actually dating but even then i just don't really see it? i need to see them hanging out casually to really feel the vibes. their friendship wasn't introduced in the best light, but i think it has cute potential.

#rave ramblees #hazbin hotel #long post #weirdly enough i don't think i've seen any fics where he's paired with vaggie? #they kinda hate each other but in a way that's not as much fun as whatever he's got going on with lucifer #i hope i didn't miss any of the major ships #i feel like i'm the only one shipping him in an ace way like yeah they're together. yeah they hate each other and there is no lust here. #maybe that's why i like the non-con alastor fics the best like yeah he WOULDN'T want this whatsoever #stop makign him kiss people happily he wouldn't do that that's not my alalastor\^@*