#mcalhen nonsense

[mcalhenwrites]

Thinking about how most of what I know is self-taught/learned online/comes from reading a lot. A lot of my education was restricted growing up. I did not go to college. I went to a pretty decent high school for three years that helped me with writing and some forms of art (did some sculpting and crafts, not so much drawing) since they specialized in arts. So a lot of where I am now as a writer, artist, etc. is self-driven. With writing, it's important to know a lot of different things... Anyway. I guess what I'm trying to say is I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I'm scared about the future and my lack of a writing career and my lack of employment, and I don't feel as if I have any skills otherwise to offer, but... I'm this far because I've been trying to help myself grow and learn more. I think that's worth something. Maybe.

#mcalhen nonsense #I had a point but I'm pretty damn sleep deprived and in too much pain to sleep XD;

[squidlykitten]

mcalhen replied to your post

Given what I know about the one you spoke about with me (the FMA /Mad Max one?) then I'd like to check it out! :3 And I'm sure at the very least we can def suffer together xD

Ahahaha yes, it’s absolutely that one. 

#mcalhen #though its not a straight crossover really #more like #i dunno man its weird but its my thing #i love post apocalyptic nonsense with people still trying to make sense of the world

[mcalhenwrites]

An artist I follow did art for Strelitzia's first on-screen appearance, which is apparently Aug 10?

So uhhh happy celebrating Strelitzia day?

Edit: they must be going by Union x appearance, she's in CoM...

xD;;;; (It's not untrue.)

#mcalhen nonsense #no one would ever guess my blorbos huh :) #I love this game series a healthy amount #okay but what Chain of Memories (GBA) came out on Nov 11... technically that's her first appearance #even if it's... uh... that.

[mcalhenwrites]

Friend shared something about mental and physical health on FB, and one of their friends decided to leap in with a bunch of tartar sauce about how only young Americans are sick and implied that the issue is a lack of adulting, not...being sick... Anyway, long story short: she’s a FUCKING NURSE And got swarmed with facts by everyone else, including people older than her. (She also went into rather amazingly bad takes territory. One of those ‘well they’re poor in Peru and are HAPPY and Americans are UNHAPPY AND SPOILED, it’s TV and GMOs and LACK OF EXERCISE!’)  So um, in honor of this nurse who apparently has a career in helping people with fictional issues, I have made some changes to my life. I have decided that I shall take her up on her ‘adulting’ lifestyle and finally do all the things I haven’t before. Here is my new 2019 change, the grandest of all changes: As a true adult who will no longer be a spoiled sick person, I have decided that I do not have fibromyalgia, arthritis, ovarian cysts, depression, anxiety, photosensitivity, IBS, folliculitis, bone spurs, or any other health issues my doctors claim I have. And I will never get sick in my life with the flu or colds or anything else. While I'm at it, I have cancelled my periods. Wow, being an adult is awesome! I am so glad that I have chosen not to let medical professionals with their 'xrays' and 'ultrasounds' and 'blood tests' and 'trigger point tests' and 'looking at that rash on your skin' dictate my body! I am free. All because I stopped drinking 6 liters of cola and eating 5 triple bacon cheeseburgers a day while staring at the TV watching every modern show like... um... like umm... uhhhh Gleeful Supernatural Criminal NCSI? Yeah that. Now I'm gonna be healthy! Wow, the power of not being lazy anymore, I can't believe this is all it took to get better! If only I'd thought of this in high school, when my doctor was lying to me about how my uterus could develop cancer because of my reproductive system. And now I know I truly am to blame for losing my pregnancy, 'cos clearly if I wanted that to work out, I would have just eaten healthy! Definitely didn't try to eat more spinach or take vitamins, if only I had done that... if only my doctor had prescribed me non-GMO foods and kale smoothies............ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

#mcalhen nonsense #I have screenshots with the names blurred out and my friend actually shared with a spoonie group on FB over this whole debacle #but I'm not gonna post them publicly despite that I had permission to post them privately by my friend #who was completely stressed out that their shared post ended up with this woman attacking illness #what is she a fucking nurse of? honestly? nursing her own ego?

[mcalhenwrites]

I definitely ended up tumbling back into Xillia full-tilt, and I’m glad I did. I seem to attach myself to some of the least popular Tales games, haha, because this one and Eternia always fight for the number one Tales game slot in my heart.  I just say they share, at this point, ‘cos I can never really decide which I’d choose. They’re followed up by Rebirth, Destiny, Abyss, and Graces. For me, Graces has the best battle system. Tales of Innocence has the best OP followed by Eternia having the second best. (And when I say Innocence, I mean the original DS version. ‘Follow the Nightingale’ combined with how they animated it really works and hypes me up.) Tales of Vesperia has the best world map, back when they still used those. (I think it was the last one that did, iirc.) Legendia has the fucking LEGACY, which in itself is a pretty amazing concept? Rebirth and Eternia have the two best mascots. Graces has Magic Carta! Which I always want to write as ‘Magna Carta’, a game series I actually happen to like... Honestly, the series in general has brought me a lot of happiness. Eternia’s aged out a bit. Not that it makes it unplayable or anything, but it definitely could use a remake. The only daunting part is the price tag. :’D (Seriously. Even importing the PSP versions to play those isn’t exactly cheap, and some copies of the European release have the Volt glitch - which is gamebreaking, but there are go-arounds online. I wouldn’t know; I only have the JP version of Eternia on PSP, otherwise I have the original NA release under the horrible title of ‘Tales of Destiny II’...) Xillia is kind of condensed due to time restraints, and that’s pretty obvious when you think, ‘wow, I think I’ve reached halfway’ (by Tales standards) only to find out that, nope, you’re...nearly to the end now. :| Giving me damn FFXV flashbacks now, I remember when I thought I’d get to explore Niflheim when I went over. Only Xillia actually has more content than FFXV, despite a lack of exploration/open worldliness. xD Both are like ‘okay’ with music, but Eternia has ‘Rem Theme’ and ‘Flying’ which means it wins immediately in a contest there. Eternia also lets you actually enter a lot of houses and click on tons of items to explore or even trigger conversations that give you a little more insight into the characters. (You can explore bookshelves, boats, find the Wonder Chef - whose first appearance is in Eternia, iirc!)  Buuuut Eternia’s main characters are a bit neglected. Max can be downright creepy sometimes in skits as it turns out (you don’t get the skits in English, aside from the camping ones - which are actually voiced? Not a thing that happened until Vesperia and Symphonia 2 after that), Chat doesn’t get much airtime and joins pretty late (as does Max, really), and Ras’ participation is short-lived, too. Otherwise, you pretty much have to enjoy the main four. Plus I feel like it would’ve been a little better to have Meredy as the main character? The story really launches off because of her, and she’s central to basically...all of it.  Xillia, on the other hand, I ended up loving EVERYONE. Which is rare. Abyss is the only other Tales game that comes close, and I still had to warm to Natalia and Luke. It took me quite a while to appreciate either of them, though now I adore them both. :P Whereas with Xillia, I loved all six playable characters immediately. :D  ALSO THE TALES SERIES HAS SOME PRETTY AMAZING GIRLS??? Meredy, Farah, Milla, Leia, Elize, Mary, Driselle, Noelle, Tear, Anise, etc etc I could go on forever but mostly you should know that I’m in love with Lailah But if you look at my Tales collection, Jude...maybe is the most loved of all... whoops. He’s my son. I have adopted him because Derrick was a bad dad.

#mcalhen nonsense

[mcalhenwrites]

tumblr has badly needed to clean house and sweep out the bots (as well deal with harmful content), but they’re doing it in a way that they’re throwing out the furniture to get rid of the dust. ...and I’m willing to bet the dust motes are heavily concentrated inside the house still. :|

#mcalhen nonsense

[mcalhenwrites]

Changed my name, for now. mcalhen -> thehostilecredence

#mcalhen nonsense #I'm gonna sleep on soem words shared with me tonight and maybe formulate how to be a person again somehow #sorry for the nonsense posts like this but a billion things irl and online all just caved me in and I'm not doing well #will hopefully resume being a person who talks about torna a lot maybe soon?

[mcalhenwrites]

My OTPs and OT3+s are not consistent in the least. I may have a ‘type’ when it comes to characters, but when it comes to shipping them... I don’t even know what I like. Other than different dynamics and playing around. Oh, wait. I’m a multishipper. There’s not a character in any of these pairings I don’t also like in other ships. They may not be the ships I’d have carved on my headstone (old joke), but I don’t adhere to the ones below so strictly I can’t accept anything else. That’s boring. Arujumilla - a medical student falls in love with nonbinary god and they accept the guy who constantly betrayed them into their family (that’s canon but my definition of ‘family’ here is ‘they’re all three married’) IgNoct - loyalty  something Alvin wouldn’t know about Zanzaddamn - they’re not even in the same fucking game or dimension, and one is a selfish ‘god’ (does it count when you’re self-made a god?) and the other a kind dorky hero

#mcalhen nonsense #this entire post is rubbish but was worth it for the slam on Alvin regarding loyalty

[mcalhenwrites]

I realized something tonight. I got Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranqulity and barely touched it. I think I played it for a couple of days before my mom got Rune Factory Frontier. She was like, “this one looks really cute, and it’s a farming one, too!” I was like, “Wow, this one really does look fun, and it has battles, too! Let me check it out.” I was hooked. I loved it so much. After a couple hundred hours, she was begging me to play anything else. To the point that I had to play when she wasn’t around or late at night. Eventually, when I mentioned wanting to play it again? We worked out that I could borrow her Wii.  It’s all her fault I love Rune Factory this much. I never did get back to ToT. :’)

#mcalhen nonsense

[mcalhenwrites]

Addam has issues with his skin drying out quickly, so he buys a lot of lotions! Everyone assumes they’re all for his wife until they catch a whiff of very familiar fragrances on his skin. The whole “cloaked enigmatic and wise hero Addam” image is because he got a little more serious after Torna events, and... Well, all the friends who might’ve been the type to chat about their memories of Addam all died before him or were sealed away in sunken ships. The citizens from Torna who survived don’t remember him personally - they saw the helpful, charismatic side of him, but seldom saw the emotional goofball side of him.  Despite this serious side of him, he still relaxes with his wife and children - and they have several of them, because Addam enjoys being a father and later a grandfather. Local children adore him. He tells them stories of ‘fictional’ princes who were afraid of aspers and Drivers who were too poor to buy weapons.  And yes, I do believe he found his wife (either still pregnant or long after she had given birth to their first child), and they stayed in Fonsett for a while. Perhaps after her death, Addam disappeared and left the care of the village to Azurda (’cos I can’t figure out how else he would just disappaer after founding Fonsett). I can’t see him as the type to overlook that he has a wife and child, even if we never saw them in the DLC. I like to think he tracked them down to be with his family after everything. It might’ve been a bit of an anchor after everything else that happened. By that point, he also probably heard from Azurda what happened to Lora and the others as well.  He probably does a lot of farming and building (ARCHITECTURE!!!) in Fonsett, which allows for a mostly peaceful life. While he enjoys being able to do what he had planned after defeating Malos, it isn’t in Aletta and that probably always weighs on him.  It isn’t uncommon for one of his children - or later, grandchildren - to find him sobbing by himself while in the middle of tilling a field. Or his wife finds him at the table in the middle of the night, crying, and stays with him until he finally agrees to come back to bed. Rewinding a bit to before all the sad stuff... Addam and Hugo met a few times when they were younger. I don’t know how old Addam is, but I imagine he’s still older than Hugo by a good ten years. Despite the difference, they have always been relaxed around each other. Hugo especially was taught to behave with a certain decorum, so when he breaks etiquette, he’s stealth about it. They’re also penpals and always writing about what they heard the other was up to, especially zoning in on ridiculous gossipy rumors to tease the other with. They need the laughs. Addam kept those letters, but they’re all gone when Torna falls. They’re probably still in the family vault, sunk well beneath the cloud sea. The sadness gets to him sometimes, and he piles all the little ones into bed between him and his wife. It’s crowded and a few new bruises are awarded by stray elbows and knees, but they’re all still mostly happier for the night. He likes the reassurance of having his family close - especially when he thought he might have lost them, too, after everyone else. Addam thinks he sees Jin once while in one of the cities, but by the time he hurries to where he saw him, no one he recognizes is there.

#mcalhen nonsense #if no one is gonna offer me HCs I'll just shit out my own

[mcalhenwrites]

Seth is like, “I got to meet a dragon, I got to meet a dragon!”  But she’s still bitter ‘cos the dragon gave Niven a cool dragon’s blood stone and gave her luck. That’s not even tangible. It’s not edible! She can’t even sell that to use the profits for food!  All she has is bragging rights, which she will use to her advantage. Possibly to obtain free food. 

#mcalhen nonsense #she's so determined to have money and food #and cute girls to date (or even cute girls who hire her to look like their date but that's when she's older)

[mcalhenwrites]

I never finish anything, so I thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool to finish something by the end of 2018?” But one look at Brackish and I wonder how I allowed myself to write a whole 89.5k that damn bad. The Hostile Credence is so far from being finished that I’m not confident I could manage to wrap up the draft in time. Cashmere would require a rewrite from scratch.  I was excited about NaNoWriMo a month ago, and it...exploded in my face. I wasn’t confident when I first tried to write Cashmere, either, during my first NaNo, but somehow I pushed out the first draft. The fact that I’m going to rewrite it despite dozens of edits has to say something about how I feel on that one, though. So maybe it’s not good for me to finish anything. Maybe it really doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe this is another sign that I’m chasing after something that I’ll never be capable of...  It’s nice that a few people somehow like my writing, but I’m dissatisfied with it. I see every flaw in it, and it’s so painful and evident that I’m not sure I’m cut out for this. ;A; I have stories to tell, but I have no way to tell them. They’re not bad stories, not all of them. They’re cool worlds and neat ideas, but they’re just things in my head that I can’t put into words. I fail at words. ._. And it really feels weird to be able to say that they’re not terrible in all ways, it’s just the writing that’s bad. :C

#mcalhen nonsense #mcalhen personal

[mcalhenwrites]

Ever since I realized several of my novels were connected by dragons, I’ve been giving that a lot of thought. Mainly I’m thinking about Lester and how I want to redo his entire story because I don’t care for the original. I couldn’t finish it, and there are parts of it that feel disjointed. It focused mainly on his family, too. ...I also started crocheting a new Lester so I could make him things related to his world. I enjoy the aesthetic of his world so much. And he lives in a giant tree. Lester is an alien, though he’s still humanoid. He has several children, almost every one of them adopted but only two related - and one of them is an adopted relative. 

He grew up on the moor in Avosetta, the child of a lord. His parents had five children, all sons, though only four survived infancy. Lester is the youngest. Grady, his father, is a terrible man - abusive to his wife and children. (This is really not dissimilar to Ewan, only he had a terrible grandfather and three of his older siblings are sisters.)  Originally, the story started with young Lester in the library after hours. A ship crashes near the estate and one survivor is found - a human girl, Aeryn. Not sure if I’ll keep this bit at all or change anything. Aeryn’s daughter, Fiona, is remaining in the story. She’s Lester’s adopted niece (the child of Aeryn and one of Lester’s brothers). I might change this so everyone is all the same alien race, including Aeryn, and make her a local girl. That also means eliminating the second planet and the space travel between the two... (And Lester’s world was underdeveloped compared to the other planet.) Whatever the case, Lester runs off with Fiona - for reasons I don’t feel like delving into, he originally was chased out of Avosetta with Fiona in his care, and he was disinherited. On his travels to find a home, he sees a boy not much younger than Fiona being abused by his mother (he started crying while she was committing a theft in a shop, which got her caught by the shopkeeper), and when Lester confronts her, she tries to sell her son to him. Since authorities are after her, Lester mentions just taking the boy anyway, and so she says, “Fine, I can steal better without him.” ...So he ends up with two toddlers on the road. Which is hellish to say the least. He ends up in Arquata Marsh. On the outskirts of the marsh is a forest with giant trees, but many of the homes have long been abandoned because they’re harder to upkeep when they’re inside trees. They’re wooden, so they’re overrun with mice and insects. Lester sets to work clearing out one floor as a liveable space and begins expanding his handiwork to the second. (There are four floors, all sizeable.) The tree homes are near the town of Monticola. When seeking a doctor, it turns out there are two - Maxwell and his daughter, Mildred.  Mildred takes a liking to Lester and his children immediately, and soon... Well, she visits all the time. She’s the one who suggests Lester take on a job as a hunter. Grady taught his sons how to use rifles, so Lester is able to hunt dangerous beasts in the forest and in the marshlands. It is a dangerous area that he makes safer for his children, although Fiona and Kahtte sneak into the marsh all the time as they get older...  Anyway, the family grows. And Lester is absolutely poly, so Mildred is not his only partner. They take in children and lots and lots of animals with them. Mainly cats. The cats help with the mice issues, plus once Lester starts clearing out the vicious beasts in the area, the cats are no longer dying from attacks and his cats - who keep having litters - end up going to other people who need pest control. There is a demon duck Olin rescues that hates everyone but Olin, buuuut it might’ve been a goose. I cannot remember. It is terrible and Olin keeps bringing it into the house instead of living it in the super-fortified chicken coop with the chickens that Lester built.  I also had them adopt a pet rabbit, but I’m thinking of changing that bit since Lester prefers practical animals like cats and chickens (the eggs!) around. The goose/duck/evil creature is the exception, and that’s only because they have no idea where she came from or why she’s so attached to a little boy who freed her neck from a fence.  Kahtte - when super small - also used to bring in jars of tadpoles and small fish and beg Lester to let him keep them all. Lester warned him they would die and released them back into their waters. Guess who snuck them in past his father? Only for them to die? Yeahhhh, Kahtte learned to stop bringing home wildlife after that. I should also mention that when they adopt their first cat, tiny Fiona insists on calling her “Millie” - what she calls Mildred. Mildred hates the nickname but allowed the kids to use it when they were small, so she doesn’t miss it when it is given to the cat. Anyway... I’m crocheting another Lester. The original had stupid legs anyway. This also gives me an excuse to make all the little blankets and such that define Lester’s home.  Lester has a lot of wood in his home, although he does install a fireplace on main floor and uses a lot of stone to help with the pests that were chewing their way in. It’s a bit imperfect, but he does what he can to make the place suitable. He has flowery wallpaper and crocheted and knit afghans. A wooden rocker for the children, some worn stuffed animals, lots of books, and fancy lamps decorate the space. A rifle hangs high above the front door, far from the reach of any children. Except for the much older ones, and they’d still need a chair. Lester is 7′2″... The dragons get pretty neglected in this story because they’re not really interacted with/worshipped. One of them is Adelira - her first appearance, before she was also put in THC. There were originally three different relgions in TWOTW, and one of them was about Adelira and another dragon. Only they’re not referred to or seen as dragons. They’re considered humanoid because the religion has twisted them for the purpose of controlling others in society. Lester’s father quoted a lot of garbage about Adelira and her ‘pureness’ while Lester was growing up.  Lester ends up kind of athiest. Because TWOTW is now likely to be a plotless mess and will never be the massive novel it was originally intended to become (I have 200k+ of it but it’s all garbage), I can talk about it openly. What I can’t say is why I know it takes place before THC, because that would spoil THC. :’)

#The Will of the Whispering #Lester Sloane #mcalhen nonsense

[mcalhenwrites]

If you ever tried to tell me I wasn’t dumb, let me tell you something stupid I just did. My mom saved me a popsicle but threw away the box. Said it was peach flavored. I noticed it and went, “sounds good” and started to eat it. A couple of bites in, I realized that while peach definitely is one of the flavors, mango is another.  I kept on eating it. It was so delicious! And there’s no point in wasting good food, right?  ...I’m violently allergic to mangoes.  :’) Why couldn’t I be allergic to something gross, like garlic or milk or pears? or BEETS. fuck beets. nah, I had to be allergic to mangoes. 

#mcalhen nonsense #already having a reaction whoooops #last time I had mango on accident I was already in a hospital and ended up curled in the bed whimpering and that was like...one bite #this was a fruity popsicle - the kind with actual fruit in it #it's gonna be one heck of a morning now

[mcalhenwrites]

Me, jokingly a few weeks ago: “Haha I’m so tired, time to go to bed and think of Zanza x Addam! Hahaha... Oh shit, no, whenever I joke about a crack pairing, I end up shipping it.” Me now: “This is the worst pairing, I am on board 100%, it has the best ship name and the worst dynamic.”

#mcalhen nonsense

[mcalhenwrites]

Tagged by @iseliadragonwill  Rules: Tag 15 people that you want to get to know!

Name: Cal

Gender: Male

Star Sign: Gemini

Height: 5′9″-ish? I keep shrinking, thanks shitty back

Sexuality: pansexual

Lock Screen Image: idk, I think a tonberry? It used to be a Nabari No Ou image, of Miharu and Yoite...I miss that, it’s one of my fave pictures ever

Ever had a crush on a teacher?: Mostly substitute teachers and ones I didn’t have, I was kind of a thirsty...every-grader 

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: I’m too scared of tomorrow to think about 10 years, but I’d like to be a writer with a quiet part time job, living in a home with people I consider family, even if I’m single. But a big poly family would be nice, too. 

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?: Belgium

What was your coolest Halloween costume?: ...I don’t honestly know, maybe a ninja turtle? After like the age of 5, my dad was big on sabotaging holidays and birthdays. I still cry every year I can’t afford a costume, because Halloween is my favorite. ;A;

Favorite 90s TV-show?: ...drat, I don’t know. I barely watched TV as a kid, but I did tune into stuff like Sister Sister and Boy Meets World and the like when re-runs were airing years later. ;A;

Last kiss?: fuck if I know lol

Have you ever been stood up?: yup, that’s...a thing people loved to do to me to prank an ugly kid, and I was stupid enough to let it happen a couple of times

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: yeah, um, my grandparents and parents went to a casino on their way back from visiting family in California, I was 9 and we were barred from even using the bathroom due to my age and my brother (who was even younger) so...that’s basically all I remember. Uh, that and a candlemaker who was shaping wax into dragons, that was actually amazing? But um. Vegas can kiss my ass honestly

Favorite pair of shoes?: I own a pair of vans, I love them, it’s worth the painful shocking price to have shoes that last more than a month - that actually last me YEARS ...they’re the only shoes I own, I’m so boring sorry

Favorite fruit?: I really love peaches and cantaloupe and raspberries... and watermelon... and pomegranate... (though I’ve never had an actual pomegranate, I’ve only ever had stuff flavored like pomegranate, same with dragonfruit and a couple of other fruits)

Favorite book?: Nabari No Ou can damn well count, but um, I really love The Hundred and Nintety-Nine Steps (novella)

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done?: a lot of things are “stupidest thing I’ve ever done”, ask me one thing I’ve done right - it’ll be a short list :P I actually haven’t seen this one circulating until now, just similar ones, so um... @erythe @marquiseoniongirl @yume-x-hanabi and...idk my head hurts right now T_T

#mcalhen nonsense