#mpp rambles as usual

[mppmaraudergirl]

ARROGANT/PLAYER JAMES GIVES ME LIFE !!!! why isn't this trope done enough????

i think chasing life just replaced TRN as my favourite fic of yours omg

Ha! I have Thoughts on this.

In Ye Old Fandom (think early aughts), player James was rampant. James and Sirius shagged their way through the entire school in fics (excluding, of course, the waspish, goody-two-shoes prude Lily Evans who screeched or raised her nose at even the tiniest glance a boy sent her way—why did we ever ship these two in those days?? But I digress.).

Thankfully we've evolved past that and nowadays James is often so hung up on Lily that no other girls exist (an overcorrection? idk). Or he's a pining fool throughout. (I'm generalizing here based on what I've consumed, in any case. Obviously that's not always the case.)

For Chasing Life, I have created an AU that I find relatively believable to show this level of arrogance in James (a non-Voldemort world, a not-forced-to-fight-a-war-at-seventeen world, a world where he's talented enough to play Quidditch professionally). And at the end of the day, I hope to show you (and hope you'll agree by the end) that at the core, the loyal, giving, clever, trustworthy, mischievous James is still there.

Generally speaking, the "womanizer/player" trope scares me. I have kids and in no way do I want to advocate for the toxicity often portrayed in those types of dynamics in real life or the "universes" I create. So I'm aiming to maintain the level of fun this fic is without crossing the line into toxicity. Let's hope for the best. 👍🏻

(Also, no hate intended but wow wow wow! TRN unseated is a bit surprising for me! Just... yeah!)

#mpp talks fandom #mpp talks writing #mpp rambles as usual #mpp has too many damn tags to pass as someone with humility ffs

[surrealmeds]

This came across my facebook feed this morning. I’m still fuming, which is a step down from raging. This means that this post is going to be a bit of a ramble. I’m emotional right now, but need to process my anger and I thank you for your patience as I do. 

I don’t know Mr. Chu personally, and don’t know what the circumstances are surrounding his inability to match. This isn’t about him specifically. It’s about my colleagues who we have lost but whose families did not go to the media, the ones who ended up in programs and careers they didn’t want, who are living lives that make it difficult for them to enjoy going to work every day. 

About 10 years ago, our MPP (local representative of our provincial government) came to my medical school to get a photo op with our dean and some students about the announcement of new medical student seats across the province. I asked what the plans were for ensuring a good residency experience for the learners. I was initially given a political answer, then had the subject changed by my dean. I was furious, but still just in my second year of med school and knew that I was quite low on the Totem pole. If I’m supposed to be quiet, I’ll be quiet. But I’ll be pouty about it. 

Over the remainder of my med school career I was in committees and meetings that my peers were not. Usually, when med students sat on these committees, they were quiet, would literally pull their chair to the perimeter of the room. I didn’t know that was what expected. I was spending hours with these people, I literally took a spot at the table. I was active in all conversations. I made real changes to curriculum and school guidelines. Looking back, I’m grateful that I was given the opportunity to practice my leadership skills so early in my medical career, that faculty took my suggestions seriously, that my school insisted on student feedback on all these committees. I don’t say this to brag, if you know me, it’s not what I do. I tell you because I need you to understand that in these rooms, over my 4 years of medical school, real change happened. 

At least once every 2 months, our concerns about residency programs came up for discussion. The most powerful people in my medical school undergraduate program were just as concerned as I was about the future that awaited my peers. That there were not enough patients to go around, nor enough seats for them to learn in. That the students were being encouraged to go into programs that they did not feel a pull to enter. That we were pushing these medical students into a program that was not prepared for the numbers; I kept imagining those folks you see getting on subways in Japan, pushing to get into the car that they want, but sometimes having to wait until the next train comes along. That amount of pressure has effects on one’s personality and thoughts. We worried about the mental health of our future docs. 

If you know where to look in social media, you’ll see the cry for action present for years. But still, here we are. Even if the residency program chose to not change, the medical schools had an obligation to ensure their students were prepared for not matching. This means being given ample opportunity to explore all career options, and learning how to ensure resilience (hint - it’s more than just doing yoga twice a year and calling your mom). 

The pain caused by politicians not being able to think ahead was completely preventable. I’m disappointed in myself for not shouting louder while I had my soap box. But I’m furious that the people who had significant power did not listen to the expert’s warning. This is a death that requires a Morbidity and Mortality rounds just like any other bad death that occurs in our hospitals. I’d like to see a round table discussion looking at how to prevent my peers from dying. 

#carms #suicide #self care #residency #the medical learners #bureaucracy #my politics are showing #personal

[mppmaraudergirl]

i think it would be hilarious to see James' reaction to finding out about his and Lily's relationship and the fact that he has a son. A more angsty version would have him talking about the war and the whole Peter/Voldemort business. However, the biggest reality check would be, as said by another anon, that he would still have the immaturity from year 5 compared to where he is (was?) at ten years, a war, marriage, and child later. - Dee (1/2)

Hi there! I didn't want to leave these asks unanswered!

I am very flattered by your compliments to my writing! My initial plan for writing in retrograde was just to write two drabbles showing the contrast between what that moment looks like for James and Lily. But I never got around to finishing James' version before I got a huge wave of encouragement to continue Lily's. In fact, I even had a rogue though to write and post both and then get people's thoughts on which would be more compelling to continue. But alas.

I did write in retrograde (sloppy) and post it already though that didn't dive too deeply into what James thinks about it all (that sort of thing would've been most easily explored if I wrote a scene where James and Sirius were talking or the parenting scene I threw out there). I think James would have struggled a lot with Harry at first and then I think he'd over-correct and be like a big brother (I envisioned a scene where Lily walked in to find them eating through a bag of sweets and losing it), but ultimately has a nurturing heart and would've figured it out.

As far as Lily goes, I see him being besides himself ecstatic at first and then steadily descending into nervousness because have you seen her?! and he has to relearn how to connect with her and eventually please her and our poor boy...

#james with amnesia! #mpp rambles as usual #<3333333

[mppmaraudergirl]

for Potter Exposed

11: What do you like best about this fic?

Doe!! a POTTER EXPOSED QUESTION!?! 🥺

One of the things I love best about PE is that it could not be first and foremost a love story, because I did not want to touch the teacher/student power dynamic with a ten-foot pole. It forced me to develop strong dynamics throughout the entire cast, to develop more rich "secondary characters", and have more of a mystery drive the plot.

Actually, scratch all that. It was Sirius. This guy single-handedly invited himself into scenes and took them over like the boss he is. (Jk. Sorta.)

(Another honorable mention is chapter 6... iykyk.)

#can you tell I never get to talk about this fic #potter exposed #mpp rambles as usual #writer asks! #thank you thank you :)

[mppmaraudergirl]

I assume you have a very healthy and mature view on romantic relationships. I’m probably thinking mostly about TRBTY and how you wanted them to be their best version before being together, but I also noticed how you emphasize consent in all your fics.

On a side note, I’m sorry fandom is not so fun for you right now. Your stories have brought a lot of joy in my life and I’m so grateful to you! 💙🤗

🥺this comment is so lovely from beginning to end.

I won't say I'm anything near a relationship expert, but I have learned a thing or two over the last decade with my husband. It's also been a different ballgame for me since I had kids. That's not to say you need to have children to be capable of showing positive relationships or mindful of doing so. It just hits differently for me personally.

People can and do write what they want. I'm personally not a fan of some of the toxic tropes that float around the contemporary romance I've read. It's much more compelling for me to put James and Lily in scenarios (in varying levels of realism, I'll admit) and figure out how do I get them together? Build a foundation? Keep them together in a healthy way for both of them? It's a fun puzzle and I've succeeded in some ways better than others.

I have no idea who is reading my stories, but I want to emphasize things that should honestly be no brainers (re: consent, using protection) but are so important that they should be stated. It's just especially top of mind as I think about raising my own children to be respectful and demand respect from any future partners they may have.

(I'm so appreciative of you reading my silly words. Thank you 😭)

#mpp rambles as usual #but thank you <3333 #does this sound a bit sanctimonious #not my intention i am just tired

[mppmaraudergirl]

Hey, I'm a big fan of your work and I was wondering if you jump around when writing multi chapters. I'm trying to write my first multichapter fic (I've written one-shots before) and I keep getting stuck on where I am chronologically, but I have an idea for the ending that I want to write. Do you do that kind of thing? Like do you already have the ending of in retrograde written? If so, can I please read it lol?

This made me laugh out loud. So thank you for that. 😄

The best thing I ever did for my writing was stop focusing on writing chronologically. I know that's not the case for everyone and I would argue that writing a chapter in chronological order has produced better results for me. But I am very much in camp, if it's in your head, write it down! There is always the chance you'll need to adjust based on what is written before it when you do finally get to that chapter/scene, but you're pretty much always going to go through revising so it's a gamble I find worth taking every time.

As far as in retrograde goes, I have sections and scenes written for several future chapters already. (Not the ending yet though I do know what happens 😉) I also have the last scene of The Reckless Now written! And portions of chapter 13 too! If the words come to me, I write them down!

Good luck with your first multichap! Please feel free to keep me updated/linked when you start posting :)

#mpp talks writing #mpp rambles as usual #this message was delightful and the ending did make me laugh fr #thank you :)

[mppmaraudergirl]

2,11, 12 for TRN pls 😊

hey thanks!

2: What scene did you first put down?

I started exactly from the first line of the first chapter! I remember where I was sitting (it was midday and sunny outside) and it was like yeah we're just jumping right into the action:

She doesn’t normally do this.

It is a childish, senseless admission that she is grateful stays behind her lips as they graze along the incredible jawline of the man currently pinning her against the stall door.

She is not impressed with herself for their current position. She will not even have the excuse of complete inebriation to fall back on when she wakes up in the morning and recalls what happened.

She will hesitate to tell her friends, too. There is nothing she needs less than their self-righteous lectures.

Maybe if they were being snogged within an inch of their life by a man who could perform such acrobatics with his tongue, surely then they would understand why she pulled him into the girls’ lavatory to begin with.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

People's reaction to it! During my reread, I really enjoyed going through people's comments after I finished a chapter to see theories on how the love square was going to shake out. Was it Lily falling for the guy at the bar? Was James going to find himself taken with his clever coworker? And then the when and the how they'd meet coupled with the what will the result be?

I designed the story so that all of these had to line up to get us where we went. That is to say, if they had met at a different time, their dynamic would have been different and thus the outcome of that revelation would have been different. There were just so many ways I could've taken this. It made it so exciting to share chapter-by-chapter.

12: What do you like least about this fic?

Does it not being finished count? In some ways the challenge of writing it is my least favorite thing. It's never taken me this long to complete a multichap before. I was hoping to get it completed well within a year of starting it but that is not going to happen now.

#the reckess now #writer asks! #mpp rambles as usual #did I fail to answer the last question? ya probably #oh well 😎

[mppmaraudergirl]

Hello! For the ask game, TRN and #10 please?

hi robyn! :)

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Well I don't write anything but jily and don't have interest in any other parings tbqh.

But flipping the question a bit to ask, why did I choose to write a love square for Jily? Because I wanted to see if I could do it. This fic was like a personal challenge from me to myself. The idea for the first scene came to me so randomly and then I spiraled thinking can I do this? Can I weave such an intricate web in a sexy/fun/interesting way?

Never know until you try, as they say. 😊

#the reckless now #writer asks! #thanks robyn :) #mpp rambles as usual

[mppmaraudergirl]

(Fear anon again) Yes, excellent point on the multiple levels of fear. You portray them so well - both the fear for her current self and situation and also the fear of messing up her current life, should her memory come back. And also, I love the addition of Harry. I love the memory loss trope but usually don't see it with a kid involved so it's just an additional layer of angst. Such a lovely fic that also crushes my soul but I can't help rereading every chapter several times 😅

Add on the fear that her memories may never come back and that because of it, she will never be enough. And how unfair is it to be expected to be with someone when you didn't (see: can't remember) agreeing to it? Plus navigating a physical relationship with real intimacy? (Which we'll talk about as time goes on.) And the fears that come with motherhood? What if you fail this little person who depends on you when you can't even think straight yourself? And, and...

I digress. You get the point. Lily's got a lot on her mind.

Honestly having Harry involved in this was the main reason I wanted to write it. Especially as a mom. There's so many layers here to explore and no matter what happens, there is pain. There is the chance for lasting damage for all three of them.

It's heavy to write but that's what makes it enjoyable.

#in retrograde #mpp rambles as usual #🙃 #also lowkey love you as the Fear Anon #sounds like an awesome villain

[mppmaraudergirl]

hi Lauren! #9 from the ask game for TWR please :) would lurvvv to know your process! xoxo

clareee I love rambling on about TWR, tyty!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

TWR is probably my most successful stick to the outline fic that I've done to date. When I wrote the first chapter I had nothing plotted beyond, but I think it was a sharp bit of writing that people enjoyed (I mean, llama farmer banter? What more do people want?) and ideas for the story came swiftly thereafter.

Then I spent the next week poking around on Scapple to make a timeline and breakdown the scenes I felt were needed. I felt pretty good about it and started on chapter 2, until suddenly, by way of what I can only guess was cosmic intervention, a little voice in my head went: what if you flashback to James and tell their past and present love stories in parallel?

After the initial annoyance at the thought of reworking the outline, it became apparent that this idea was a game changer for the story. James added so much to it, watching the development of his feelings in the past gave the reader a glimpse into what he was feeling in the present. My hope was that the reader would see through James when Lily refused to.

So somewhere in the multiverse, TWR exists without the flashback love story and that version of the fic is worse off for it.

#the wedding ring #twr my beloved #thanks for letting me ramble clare #mpp rambles as usual #writer asks!

[mppmaraudergirl]

Hi! First of all, Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 You're so talented and nice and truly a gift to all of us!

Second, I'm not the anon asking for CAU James pov, but the ask inspired me to send this. Would you consider that part where James leaves Lily that fateful night and then he slowly sees and realizes she's pulling away from him as a result? I'm so curious about why he did it and what he felt later with realizations. At the end, when he's apologizing, he said: "I thought... it doesn't matter what I thought." But I really wanted to know what he thought 😂

First off, thank you 🥰🥰 your kind words mean a lot!!

As for CAU, I probably should've seen this inquiry coming as far as wanting more of James' POV goes lol. With the other projects I'm working on, I'm not sure I'd ever get around to jumping into that scene again, but I will give some insight into what James was up to under the read more. Spoilers (and rambling) below!

Generally speaking James develops and acknowledges his feelings for Lily before she does for him. This stems from Lily's "shields up" nature. She has reasons to be wary and closes herself off because of it. James, who has never seen the need because he's never felt this for a colleague before, gets swept away.

We see this when Lily gets hit by the Bludger. James is furious out of worry, and then when he finally sees Lily in the hospital and genuinely checks on her she's flippant about it and he leaves. In his mind and in reality, Lily clearly only wants sexual gratification from him.

Their intimacy levels increase in Italy with them living in the same house. Now that Lily has confirmed his feelings are one sided, James tries to be okay with what is currently between them. He enjoys a fairly intimate bath in which they open up to each other and he finally drops her surname but when the idea of staying with her and waking up next to her is presented to him, his immediate reaction is it will be too much.

He gathers pretty quickly after this that Lily's pulling away because of it but he's settled on returning his focus to Quidditch because he has to. But, as in most stories, James can't keep himself away from her for long (and this is when Lily's stomach-flipping feelings start in earnest).

After they win the cup, he tells her thought he'd have more time with her. He meant it broadly but makes it sound just about sex because he doesn't think Lily wants anything more from him. He makes the most of their last night in Italy because of that reason.

So when he talks to her at the end and says, "I thought" what he thought was "I thought it was just sex to you", knowing now that it wasn't and that he wasn't brave enough to ask (though who can blame him).

I think they do talk this through after the party, but at the time he's put his pride aside, admitted he left when he didn't want to or shouldn't have, and that's exactly what Lily needed in that moment to lower her guard for him. And then they leave the party to shag or something probably. 🙃

#chasing after you #mpp rambles as usual #giving away cau james secrets #😌

[mppmaraudergirl]

TRN + 5: What part was hardest to write?

hi Anna 😊 thanks for your ask!

5: What part was hardest to write?

Oh boy. TRN IS!! hard to write. The changing love square dynamics, the relationship development, the near misses—it has been so rewarding to write! I felt like every chapter theories were changing for people and I was floored by that! It was a messy situation and that's what I wanted.

As far as specific portions that were difficult, chapter 6 comes immediately to mind. It was an important chapter for Lily and James' friendship. The build-up toward flirting had to happen. The beginning of emotional intimacy had to start for James. A near miss had to happen. And all exclusively through text and a one-sided office visit. It is also the only dual POV chapter in the story.

All in all, I think I did pretty well but believe me, it took some time to get it right.

#the reckess now #trn spoilers #i guess??? #mpp rambles as usual #writer asks!

[mppmaraudergirl]

I can't keep track of which numbers have been done already, but 13, 14, and 15 for Potter Exposed (of course) <333 (alt numbers, 8, 9, and 11 if those other ones have been asked already or if they're more fun lol)

dylan... potter exposed :') thanks BESTIE

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

This was back in the time when I never listened to music while writing. It was waaay too distracting for me then. I would need about 10 years to come up with a decent playlist to this fic 😬sorry to disappoint you right out of the gate, geez

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Honestly, PE is just for having a good time, IMO. It was another way of showing Lily and James fall in love in unlikely circumstances, and how even in those circumstances the core tenants of who they are as people remain intact.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Everything! This fic taught me how to plot, write, and revise (basically execute) a novel-length story. Without it, I don't know if TWR or TRN exists, at least not in the form they are now.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

throwing in this guy because most of these answers were lame. My favorite thing about this fic is the chapter where Lily's cover is blown and how James immediately reacts to it internally and externally. That whole section was hella fun.

#potter exposed #mpp rambles as usual #writer asks! #i am emotional :') #thank you dylan for your existence in this world

[mppmaraudergirl]

4,5,11 for TWR 💕

cer 🥰

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Does Oh, thank fuck! work? (I mean that one stuck out with lots of poeple lol)

Or: You can kiss me whenever it makes sense, Evans. (Guys, the depth of James' Freak Out in this moment. I can't even)

Another top contender: This has never been fake for me. Not one minute.

How about the returning the favor line? (Okay, okay. I digress.)

Ultimately though, I think I might have to go with James' proposal. I worked and reworked that bit of dialogue for a while, as I suspect James would have too. It came out pretty lovely as far as proposals go, imo.

5: What part was hardest to write?

I don't recall much of the fic being particularly hard to write. It lived so vibrantly in my head, it was a joy to get the words onto the page. But I'll give this honor to the confession of feeling scenes (and the love making that followed) because there was so much build up to it. I didn't want it to fall short or be disappointing.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

Can I just say James? Like in general? I loved exploring his thoughts in the flashbacks. I love him more than any version of James I've written. His insecurities, his empathy, the depth of his feelings, how he takes (or doesn't take) risks. To know the entire time he missed her so fiercely and he held so many regrets, but once she was back in his life, all that mattered was making things better for her. I just loved telling this story and I loved getting them back to a place of happiness together.

#the wedding ring #twr my beloved #mpp rambles as usual #writer asks! #thank you cer for indulging me in this 'ok grandma time for bed' post about twr

[mppmaraudergirl]

What I liked the most about Daphne was how well she fit with Chasing Life universe and with this version of James and Lily. Where you have James who is so arrogant and needs to be knocked down a peg, and you have Lily who you want to not give in to him and to knock him down a peg, and then there's Daphne who's so friendly with Lily and sort of helps her make fun of James and laughs at him the way you want to laugh at him lol. It just fits here. I'm honestly not sure if I would have liked her as much if she did the same thing or brought the same dynamic in, for example, TRBTY or TRN, because of how different those James and Lily and their dynamics are, but Chasing Life characters have a great place for her in this phase of their life where she fits like a puzzle piece :D

Oh Daphne certainly serves a narrative purpose in Chasing Life which is why she's written how she is.

But I'd say her teasing, vaguely antagonizing personality would adapt nicely into those other stories. Imagine her as James' ex in TRN—a contrast to Red and a source of unease for Lily. Or she could've been another Account Manager who dishes about James to Lily. And in TRBTY I could see her slotted in perfectly as James' vet tech. She'd keep him on his toes and make him laugh. He'd really enjoy working with her. 😊

#chasing life #mpp rambles as usual

[mppmaraudergirl]

Hi Lauren, #1 and #2 for We Can Still Be Friends and #5 for Potter Exposed ! Please and thank you 💕💕

kit!!! ahhh I love these fics. thanks so much for asking ❤️

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I was reblogging prompts list all the time right before I wrote WCSBF and people delivered so many (for which I was grateful!). I thought it would be a fun challenge from a writing perspective to find a way to link prompts together and write a short story. I often like to make writing more of a challenge and this was one of the ways. I wrote another multichap like this and I had a third in the queue to write but never got around to it!

2: What scene did you first put down?

I wrote the whole first chapter of this bad boy in one shot, starting from beginning until when the first chapter ended. It was deliciously evil to write and I couldn't wait to share 😎 I don't think I wrote any of WCSBF out of order now that I think about it!

5: What part was hardest to write?

I'm so far removed from writing Potter Exposed that nothing besides the epilogue came immediately to mind. The epilogue was challenging because I wanted to put so much into it. I wanted to show a beautiful moment for James and Lily but also highlight the group dynamic, show how James has changed and grown himself, and talk about what the other marauders have been up to—all in a way that did not sound like a laundry list of items to visit. Plus, at the time, it was one of the purest fluff I had ever written.

It was also a challenge because it was my first novel-length story and I was emotional about it ending.

And although you didn't ask (lol) I can tell you the easiest thing to write was the dungeon scene and hospital scenes after. I wrote like 3k in one sitting, and I mean near continuous typing as it all played out like a movie in my head. It was so raw as I wrote it and I didn't edit it a ton because I wanted that rawness to it.

#we can still be friends #potter exposed #writer asks! #mpp rambles as usual #these questions were an utter delight #thank you kit :)