#my aunt literally has cancer I don’t know why you think these stress levels are decent for a person going through cancer treatments. I’ve

[godblooded]

so my aunt’s having the treatment and then we have to drive thirty minutes to the er to get platelets for an hour. are you fucking kidding me. are you seriously fucking kidding me.

#ooc. mikkelsen vc: this week on kat valentine's hannibal. #[‘the doctor wasn’t aware of how heavy the workflow is here’ when I tell you I flipped the fuck out. immediately just went ‘she’s not a #brand new patient? she’s been coming here for more than a year?’ and now I’m outside finishing a j because my stress levels are escalating #off the charts. doctor couldn’t get her shit in check so now we have to spend 4 hours bouncing all over New Jersey. I fucking hate everyone. #my aunt literally has cancer I don’t know why you think these stress levels are decent for a person going through cancer treatments. I’ve #said this before and I’ll say it again: the doctor’s attitude and assistance makes as big a difference as testaments do. when you’re fucking #wishy washy as shit it’s not exactly emboldening to your fucking patient. your shitty attitude is harmful. your negligence is a fuckjng #hindrance.] #negative / #cancer /

[silverxenomorph]

So what was supposed to be a 2 day stay for the woman who calls herself my aunt, has turned into a week. She said she couldn’t get time off. Bullshit.

She physically and mentally cornered me during dinner tonight, under the guise of ‘caring about my health’ and actually fucking came out with “You’ve always been my favourite niece. I want you to be my favourite again.” Total Abuser Tactic 101 bullshit.

She also came out with gems like:

-*rubbing my belly without asking* “This is because of entrenched childhood trauma” (pro-tip - I had none).

- “You’re fat because you eat too much Gluten, Sugar, Aspartame and Dairy” (Okay fair call on the sugar and soft drinks, even though I am slowly cutting down on them. But of the three varieties of soft drink i do drink - Coke, Vanilla coke and L&P - none have aspartame in them. I’m also not allergic to dairy nor am I coeliac so cutting them out of my diet will not affect anything).

- “Your skin issues are because of what you eat (see list above).” (Well duh. It’s called food allergies for a reason. This flair up is because a certain type of artificial cherry flavouring i’d never encountered before).

- “Your depression is caused by gluten”. (A- not officially diagnosed with depression. B- Gluten intake has NEVER been linked as a cause of depression C- Depression is a DISEASE of the brain).

- “I want you to be the best you can be, Can you do it for me? for you?” (Freudian slip much?)

- “I want you to be able to go out an do things and go places and not be hiding in your room at the computer all the time.” (I am an introvert. People exhaust me. I do not like going out. I hate partying. I would hang out with friends more but they’ve got kids or live too far away. and yes, I include all of my tumblr people as friends and you guys live literally all over the world! SO the computer is the only way I can talk to any of you. Also I’m always doing something at my desk, drawing, origami typing etc. And there’s the fact I’m fucking dirt poor and cannot afford to go out!).

EDIT: I also forgot “We live in society and therefore we should have to conform to what society likes.” (What the actual fuck is that level of Margaret Atwood level of indoctrination the fuck is that?!?!?!)

She also wants me to talk to her about my ‘childhood trauma’. There’s only one incident I can think of where the youth pastor at my father’s ministry placement bullied me mercilessly for reasons I’d rather not have in public (mum got the same treatment but only told me why a few years ago. I don’t know if my sister was affected though). The woman in question is dead. Breast cancer. And for me that’s karmic backlash enough. I consider the case closed. But G want’s me to write down my feelings from that. I’m not going too because she’s not a trained/certified therapist and would likely only use any information I disclose against me.

I’m so fucking stressed that the skin that had been healing has gotten worse again and I’ve spent so many hours folding origami stars as stress relief that I don’t even feel like drawing. I have no idea how I’m going to make it to Friday without snapping. I feel so sick right now.

#Xennytalks #do not reblog