#my brain deciding that anytime i have even a minor hormonal shift means weeping and constant memory reliving time is not helping that either

[izzy-b-hands]

Reason number idk to keep my shot day more consistent (tho tbf i had been doing really well on timing up until last week lmao):

Shot day being off means i get extra weepy over just. anything. everything. My brain looks at anything and goes 'oh yeah, that's like (horrible traumatic memory), you 'member that? Yeah, sure ya do! here's a recap of that particular time for ya too.'

and like??? I am not a fan of it today. i mean i never really am but, I have shit to do rn lmao (dishes and i keep having smutty ed/izzy and nathan/pickles ideas that refuse to actually flow on the page once i open a word doc.)

#text post #typing this up more as warning that i might be extra messy the next few days #there's an in person work thing this Friday im terrified of bc my transphobic supervisor is gonna b there and like #it's abt four hours counting travel time so i know I'll need the bathroom at least once while im there and he made a Big Deal of it b4 #and i just. am not looking forward to figuring out how to handle this in addition to it being So Many Ppl in One Small Room w/me #my brain deciding that anytime i have even a minor hormonal shift means weeping and constant memory reliving time is not helping that either #all the more reason to keep next week's shot on fucking time!!!!! #but. yeah. might be some sad lil text posts like this and reblogging a lot of my usual fixations to distract myself #but for now: dishes while i consider my ed cockwarming Izzy's strap idea & #my nathan panic proposes to pickles post apocalypse w/the ring he made for Abigail idea #that one is actually mostly written but. doesn't feel quite right yet #i do like the detail that nathan got it in pickles size & planned to resize it for Abigail #bc he didn't know her ring size but he has pickles' memorised along with all his other measurements tbh #so it just. fits right away and is revealed that they designed the ring as their shared dream engagement ring during a frienderbender #and 'whoever finds the right person first can use it with them' but oh. it was made for the right person all along. right there #a stitched up charles officiates while they're just. sitting in a pile of burning rubble aksndjfngn #anyway enough of this i must dishes and address the anxiety stomachache starting now that i thought abt the work thing 💀