#my dad had to go to the er yesterday too bc he couldve had another heart attack

[zarovich]

i really do feel like a disappointment a lot. my health is so bad recently that i stopped taking my meds for a month and a half and ive only been back on them for a week. and i have now started taking 3 of them out of like... 10 total. i havent taken them in 3 days tho. im too afraid to take them, let alone all of them. bc of my health i end up getting sick a lot and cant keep anything down. ffs, i ended up in the er 3 times and almost had to go last night but i was unable to. im just scared and i feel bad for being this way. idk if it would be too much to ask for words of encouragement, hell, i feel guilty for even asking

#personal #dont rb #emeto tw #i cant even drink alot of water so im constantly dehydrated #so much has been happening for me recently #my dad had to go to the er yesterday too bc he couldve had another heart attack #ed tw #self harm tw #im think about relapsing into my ed and self harm but im trying not to #im not doing any better mentally im just trying to not be negative bc i know its not good for me but my brain is so so mean #i mean just last week i was getting harassed and sent death threats just bc i spoke out against something i thought was wrong #sure it may not affect me much but that shit is draining as hell to see multiple times a day #ugh whatever i just needed to vent #i doubt anyone has read all of this but if you have thanks #but yeah ig if youve read all this i realy could need some comforting words rnn bc ive been shaking uncontrollably for the last week or so #due to the anxiety #i dont really want to burden anyone anymore than i already have esp the ones im close to