#my meta is creeping into my sub corrections

[notfreetoday]

The Importance of Amae in My Personal Weatherman

Masterlist || Language Analysis Part 1

I have seen a lot of discourse in the English-speaking fandom surrounding Segasaki's apparent dismissal or trivializing of Yoh's desire to pursue his manga, and most of it is negative. His comments about wanting Yoh to remain dependent on him, or that Yoh does not need to earn money are seen as patronizing or controlling at best and oppressive at worst. It appears that Segasaki does not understand nor respect Yoh's need for independence, and that is what strains their relationship.

But what if I asked you to consider that Segasaki's behaviour is actually an invitation to Yoh to reinforce their relationship? And what if I told you that Yoh's withdrawal from Segasaki constitutes a rejection of that invitation, and it is that rejection that strains their relationship instead?

Of course, the end result is the same - a strained relationship - and in reality there is never one side wholly responsible for this. The point of this is to simply challenge the cultural notion that a successful relationship is the coming together of two equally independent individuals, as opposed to the co-creation of a relationship formed by two interdependent individuals.

"If only you could stay drunk forever..." "It's okay to feel down again for me too you know" - Segasaki, Ep 4, Ep 5

This isn't about Segasaki wanting to keep Yoh is helpless and dependent on him, but about wanting Yoh to be able to be true to his feelings and express his own desire for affection honestly, without having to hide behind "I hate you" or rejection.

Or, let's try and talk about how Segasaki and Yoh reinforce their relationship through the use of amae (featuring a brief mention of tatemae/honne) who am I kidding this is not brief at all

First: Cultural Context

The way people conceptualize and make meaning of the Self differs between Western and East Asian cultures, and this plays into the differences we see in the basis for our self-esteem, the personal attributes that we value, and even what constitutes the behavior of a mature individual. Broadly speaking, Western cultures tend towards the Independent Self Construal (whereby the Self is a distinct entity separate from others) whereas East Asian cultures tend towards Interdependent Self-Construal (whereby the Self is connected to and defined by relationships with others). Thus, in the West, expressing one's individuality is very important for one's self-esteem, and being able to communicate clearly and confidently is valued and a sign of maturity. Conversely, in the East, one's ability to integrate and become a member of the group is prized, and contributes significantly to one's self esteem. In order to be seen as a mature individual, one must learn not only to read a social situation but also how to modify one's behavior in order to respond to the changing demands of that situation, with the ultimate goal being to maintain group harmony.

tl;dr - In East Asian culture, behaviors and attitudes that emphasize interdependence and promote group harmony actually play a big role in reinforcing relationships and one's membership towards the group.

Segasaki is an expert at this - his "public mode" that Yoh refers to actually shows us how good he is at social interactions. This is the Japanese concept of tatemae/honne (crudely translated as public self/private feelings) - which I could link to a bunch of articles for you, but I'm going to suggest you check out this 9 min street interview instead. At 6:41, one of the interviewees comments that another is sunao, or "honest" (we'll cover this later too) and at 6:49 specifically talks about how reading situations is important as an adult. Segasaki reads the room well, but most importantly, he reads Yoh well.

Yoh is not good at this, at all. In Ep 6, we see that he does not integrate well with the group, and he doesn't realize how he might appear to others when he stares and sketches from afar. Yoh does not read the room well because he doesn't pick up on social cues and does not adhere to social norms (I'll point these out in Ep 6's corrections). He cannot read Segasaki, and especially cannot read Segasaki's amae, or his attempts at reinforcing their relationship. Part of this is because his low self-esteem causes him to withdraw from Segasaki's affection as a means of self-protection, and so he valiantly tries to deny his feelings for Segasaki. As Man-san commented in Ep 4, Yoh is not sunao - he has difficulty with being true/honest about his feelings, even to himself.

Sunao is another term that usually pops up when talking about feelings/relationships. It can be used to describe one's relationship with oneself, as well as the relationship with another/group. With oneself, it is usually used to mean "being honest/truthful/straightforward/frank/open-minded about one's feelings". With another person/group, it is usually used to mean "to cooperate/listen/be obedient, or "to be humble/open-minded". In essence, the word encompasses an ideal virtue that is often taught from early childhood - that we should treat both ourselves and others with humility and honesty, because that is how we accept ourselves and stay in harmony with other. This is what becoming an adult, or gaining maturity, means (not gaining independence, as adulthood is often equated to in the West - do you see a running theme here 😂). Of course, that's actually really hard to do, so you'll often hear children (and immature adults too) chided for "not being sunao" (this can therefore sound patronizing if you're not careful). We'll revisit this in a little bit.

Second: What is Amae?

Amae is a key component in Japanese relationships, both intimate and non-intimate. It happens every day, in a variety of different interactions, between a variety of different people. But it is often seen as strange or weird, and those unfamiliar with the concept can feel uncomfortable with it. This stems from the difference in self-construal - because independence is tied so strongly to an individual's self-image in the West, it is very hard to fathom why behavior that emphasizes interdependence could be looked upon favorably. It is telling that every possible English translation of the word "amae" carries a negative connotation, when in Japanese it can be both negative or positive. The original subtitles translated it as "clingy", for example. Other common translations include "dependence", "to act like a child/infant", "to act helpless", "to act spoiled", "coquettish", "seeking indulgence", "being naive" etc.

From A Multifaceted View of the Concept of Amae: Reconsidering the Indigenous Japanese Concept of Relatedness by Kazuko Y Behrens

*Note - the word "presumed" or "presumption" or "expectation" or "assumption" used in the above definition and in the rest of this post, can give the impression that all of amae is premeditated, which adds a calculative component to this concept. Whilst amae can indeed be used in a manipulative manner (benign or otherwise), it is not the case for every single situation, and often amae that seeks affection is often spontaneous and without thought, precisely because the situation allows for it to appear organically. This is the amae that Segasaki and Yoh most often exchange - so think of these assumptions and expectations as "unconscious/subconscious" thought processes.

Third: Amae Between Segasaki and Yoh

Yoh shows a lot of amae when he is drunk:

He whines, buries himself into Segasaki's embrace, refuses to move or let go of him, and keeps repeating "no". In these interactions, Yoh wants Segasaki's affection, but instead of asking, he does, well, this, and he presumes that Segasaki will indulge his behavior. Leaving to get some fresh air might not be as obvious - but it is a form of amae as well, because Man-san is his guest, not Segasaki's, and he shouldn't be leaving Segasaki to entertain her. The expectation that this is okay, and that neither of them will fault him for it, is what makes it amae.

Segasaki obviously enjoys indulging Yoh when Yoh does amae, because he recognises this as Yoh's request for affection from him. It's not that Segasaki enjoys Yoh in this drunk, helpless state; it's not even that Segasaki feels reassured by Yoh's requests for affection. Segasaki knows Yoh likes him, and recognizes that Yoh is struggling with those feelings. That Yoh is actually able to do amae to Segasaki is what delights him the most, because it is something that requires a lot of trust in Segasaki and a willingness to be vulnerable in front of him. This is how amae reinforces relationships - when a request for amae is granted, both the giver and the receiver experience pleasant feelings.

That said, an amae request can also be perceived negatively - if amae is excessive, or if the person responding feels they are obligated to do so. In Ep 5, Man-san chides Yoh for his amae - the fact that he expected to do well from the beginning, and became upset when he failed. He told her about his unemployment, presuming that she would comfort him, but alas.

Segasaki also does amae - but unfortunately Yoh misses many of his cues, and so neither of them really gain pleasant feelings from the interaction (ok so maybe Segasaki does, but I will argue that is more because Segasaki also enjoys it when Yoh obeys him - see @lutawolf's posts for the D/s perspective on this!).

Did you catch it? Segasaki wants Yoh to pass him the Soy Sauce, which, clearly, he is capable of getting himself. He tells Yoh to feed him, because he wants Yoh's affection. And the real kicker - he asked for curry, and expected Yoh to know he wanted pork. In all these interactions, Segasaki presumes that Yoh will indulge him and do for him things he can do himself perfectly well (and even better at that) - this is what makes this amae. But look at Yoh's reactions:

Yoh just stares between the Soy Sauce and Segasaki, between Segasaki and his food, and then just at Segasaki himself. He doesn't recognise any of this as amae, and in the case of feeding Segasaki makes the conclusion that this is somehow a new slave duty he's acquired. And therefore, he does not gain pleasant feelings from it.

In Ep 3 we see a turning point in Yoh's behaviour - his first (sober) attempt at amae (the argument in Ep 2 is debatable - it's not amae from Yoh's POV, but Segasaki responds as if it were, with a head pat and a "when you get drunk, you talk a lot don't you?").

Here, Yoh wants to express his desire for Segasaki's affection, but he can't bring himself to say it aloud. Instead, he dumps bedsheets on Segasaki's lap, as if the bigger the scene he makes the greater the intensity of his desire he can convey. It is the presumption that Segasaki will understand him that makes this amae. And then, we get this:

Not only a happy Segasaki and a sweetly shy Yoh, but also a Yoh who's emboldened by Segasaki's response, and who finally, for the first time, reciprocates touch, and considers the possibility that Segasaki might actually like him.

With every episode, Yoh gets more and more comfortable with doing amae towards Segasaki, because Segasaki picks up on his cues and always responds to them. In Ep 5, Yoh's amae comes out naturally, triggered by the stress of his unemployment, and we see it in all those moments he sounds and acts like a child, and as I mentioned, Segasaki spends the whole episode reassuring Yoh that his amae is welcomed, and that Segasaki likes responding to it. If you've been wondering why the relationship between Segasaki and Yoh can, at times, feel somewhat parental in nature - this is it. It's because Segasaki sees the contradiction between Yoh's childlike insistence that he does not like Segasaki and his desire for Segasaki's attention and affection, for what it really is - Yoh's struggle with accepting himself. When Yoh is able to be sunao, he does amae naturally, and Segasaki responds to him in kind.

Now, all we need is for Yoh to recognize when Segasaki does amae, which will likely happen soon, given that Yoh has grown with every episode.

As always, thank you for reading :))

#my personal weatherman #taikan yohou #体感予報 #segasaki x yoh #MPW language analysis #sociolinguistics #japanese language #japanese cultural tidbits #mytranslations #MPW subtitle corrections #my meta is creeping into my sub corrections #need to get it out here instead #sorry for the length #tbh posting such crazy long posts and expecting that people will actually read it #can be considered amae too 🤣🤣 #Ep 6 corrections will be out next #I just needed to get this out before 7 #and i sorta made it

[theblognobodyfoundlastyear]

My kingdom for a choice? Meuporg!

I probably shouldn’t be blogging at this point right after getting jabbed in the arm, but as long as I keep typing without moving my shoulder too much, I should be able to get by. But here we are, bored out of our wits as it were, and still going as weak as ever.

Frankly, I don’t usually disclose much about the things of late, but two one things keeps coming to thought: Nick Cage and Neon Genesis Evanjelion (I would deliberately misspell and therefore mispronounce said proper noun to see who actually reads this blog after all this time). It never really made any sense, and it doesn’t help that people have been conjuring up conspiracy theories about how it does or doesn’t make any coherent sense, to the point where 37 possible alternative timelines exist, including one of which that breaks the Fourth Wall. In any case, the point being is that the idea of choice or lack thereof is a massive recurring theme, and one of which has certainly manifested itself in the most recent of times.

To do or not to do? There is more to the question than meets the eye. For whatever choice you choose, there will always be a certain regret about having not selected the unchosen. With each step, the invisible doubt creeps in, taunting you. I’m sure I’ve written about this sort of stuff extensively in the past, but knowing that you’ll always make the sub-optimal choice every time? That is truly a devastation. Of course, why choose at all if both paths inevitably lead to a sadder outcome than that of standing at the crossroads? I think that’s why today’s society is filled with so many passive people who just go with the flow, defaulting their choices to whatever it should be according to external forces. Who can blame them? Nobody told me being an adult meant having to deal with your own superannuation, booking your own appointments with people who recommend certain life decisions and having to cook, clean, construct, criticise and callous on my own. With all these decisions, large, microscopic and all sizes in between, why waste time choosing? It would make sense to offload such decision making processes to some default system, making one’s life simpler in more ways than one.

So if people prefer to make fewer choices, does that have its implications? Certainly. Fewer choice, less control, a sense of uncaring nonchalance. Caring is an effort-demanding exercise - it isn’t easy to do all the time. Both for people and tasks. And after falling off the cliff of cares, I don’t think there are many people I know of (if I know any at all) who have climbed and heaved their way back. I suppose most people opt for the easy way, whatever that looks like for a given person. And to willingly make the option to go against the default option? As it were, travelling the path less...travelled can result in uncertainty, doubts, regrets. Yet, it might just be worth it? An optimist would look on that singular chance for betterment and take it like the filthy methamphetamine addict they are. And I think that’s a somewhat rare approach to find these days. After all, people only play games they know they can win. And history has shown us time and time again that losing can be costly, and that the chance of victory is often perceived as equivalent to the certainty of not losing. Mind you, they are actually different.

But the counter-argument is that not losing is easier than trying to win. True in all sorts of contexts, but why play when you’re only prolonging the pain? Would one be playing simply to “outlive” all other players, or to enjoy see one’s fellow countrymen fall away due to the ravages of time and the powers that be? I guess if you don’t have a will to win, you’ve effectively lost the meta-game. After all, the concept of victory goes beyond just winning. There’s a motivation behind it. Sometime a cost-benefit analysis, even with its moral and ethical implications at times. There’s an enemy at times, and that may very well be yourself. And there’s a deadline -- after all, few other forces can move men to action in such a particular way.

Is there a way to recover the will to win once more? From a purely psychological point of view: “It’s all in the mind, brutha”. So why not take the road less travelled? It may indicate a sense of danger that others have pre-perceived, and may indicate the foolishness of dunces long ago, yet you willingly choose the path of most resistance. It’s not to say it’s the objectively correct choice every time, but you will need to use a long-forgotten technique called Practical Wisdom to discern what it is you’re trying to achieve and verify that such action is truly part of the greater plan. After all, what good is victory when it costs you everything? Well, some would say it’s the greatest victory since you flat out have nothing left after such a transaction. Yet, if you weren’t willing to flat-out go all-out in this fall-out, the only thing holding you back in the pursuit of victory were the very things you sought to sever yourself from in the dash to the finish line.

Once more, we ask ourselves: To do or not to do? As with any strategy, be polite (ask those who have gone before what their stupid opinions are), be efficient (what resources are at stake? What would you be willing to put on the line for a taste of sweet victory?) and have a plan (unless the plan is to have no plan...) to kill everyone you meet (okay, maybe don’t do that part. But there will be some people who are holding you back subconsciously so it’s useful to be aware of such things). And hopefully victory breeds a new will to win and make not necessarily the right choices, but choices that one is willing to live by until the race is won.

‘Til next time, young padawan.

Which cruise will you choose?

#choices #victory #will to live #taking action

[thatguysamaniac-blog]

Despite Pokémon Home's rough launch and mixed feature set, the launch of the app for mobile and game(?) for the Nintendo Switch now means we can view the fruits of our decades of monster collecting with the greates of ease and abandon. As soon as was feasible, launch week bugs be damned (don't save in Lumiose City), we shifted everything over to Home and basked in the glory of our work. It was complete. Or was it? Nestled within the innocuous pokédex feature on Pokémon Home is a search filter for 'unregistered'. Out of curiosity we ran a few searches on pokémon, moves and abilities to see BLANK ENTRIES. On top of that, the mobile app has a series of challenges that award next to pointless stickers for your profile for completion. The challenges range from making specific 'theme' trades but also for registering pokémon from different games, from different regions and forms etc. To our further shock and horror. We didn't have them all(tm). The Challenge Determined to not pay for a Pokémon Bank subscription beyond what we had left on our sub plus the bonus 'month' for the release of the app. we had just under 30 days to mine the DS and 3DS games for everything we needed. The ensuing challenge forming some kind of unique meta-game gaming toeing the line between playing and frantically logging in and out of games, joylessly transferring bits of code from handheld to handheld, cart to cart and over the Internet. Here is the story of that challenge. Forms There are many Pokémon which have different forms or appearances for example, the humble meowth comes in three regional forms, the meowth we know and love from the Kanto region, the blue fat face from Alola and the weird viking thing from the Galar region. Additionally, there's a Gigantamax form, a giveaway in Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield. So in total there are five forms to register for meowth.  There's quite a few of the bastards and they can change with items, moves, on evolution or the specific game and locality that they were caught, evolved and hatched in. At the time of writing, there's 890 different species of Pokémon but a whopping 1250 different forms. We had a living pokédex (we owned one of every single species) but had been slightly remiss in making sure all the different forms were present and correct. After shifting over to Pokémon Home we had about 125 gaps. A hundred. and. twenty. five. Now some of these were forms of Alcremie, the cream pokémon, which has 64 forms depending on how you 'decorate' it and the time of day you spin it around but there were other gaps and worryingly gaps from older games. This is when the fear started to creep in. Because we'd shifted everything over and it was now stuck in Home, getting forms from older games would just be a case of transferring them back or breeding them in game because THERE WAS NO WAY BACK and not all of the 890 species are currently transferable to Sword and Shield. I'd resigned myself to the fact that I'd had to live with some blanks in the dex because there was no way of changing Hoopa into it's Unbound form or getting back the own tempo Rockruff that I'd evolved. Fortunately, after a bit of digging, and some help from Internet friends, I worked out that you didn't need to have those pokémon, merely connect a pokedex from Pokémon Alpha Sapphire, Pokémon Omega Ruby, Pokémon X, Pokémon Y, Pokémon Sun, Pokémon Moon, Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon that had the form registered to Pokémon Bank and then connect Pokémon Bank to Pokémon Home. Cue half an hour of extremely dull cartridge switching and voila! This still left a few older game gaps of forms I'd never seen including several colours of Flabebe, Floette and Florges. Two colours of Minior. Partner Hat Pikachu, Two forms of the seasonally changing pokémon Sawsbuck and three sizes of Pumkaboo and Gourgeist. The Missing 'Chu Several boring hours in the flower fields on Pokémon Y later I had all the Flabebe, Floette and Florges colours I needed. I went back to Ultra Moon's Mount Hokulani to painstakingly hunt down those two Minior colours because you see you can't see the colour of the Minior whilst it is in Shield Up mode and they have a habit of self destructing unless you're prepared. Partner hat Pikachu had me stumped because I'd thought I'd meticulously got all seven different hats of this special event only Pikachu. Again, after some digging, I'd missed a QR code event, separate to the internet distributions of the six regional hats, originally distributed at film screenings for the seventh and final hatachu. FORTUNATELY, the QR code was still floating around online and thankfully hadn't expired. I won't lie reader I whooped. I whooped out load. One scan and a chat to a man surrounded by Pikachu later, I'd filled the blank. Sawsbuck, however, was another issue as they change form with the season and I was missing Summer and Spring forms. I jumped back to the DS's Pokémon Black to stock up on as many winter Sawsbuck as possible and then spent an evening with one eye on the GTS trading with others globally until I had the two I needed. Watching the live stock market in Sawsbuck on the GTS was fascinating as there was a glut of the northern and southern hemisphere winter and summer forms as each timezone came online with spring and autumn in short supply. Fortunately, Pumpkaboo and Gourgeist are in Sword and Shield so that's just some time I need to spend rounding up different sized pumpkin 'mon with super size being the rarest form. Form hunting after some Alcremie spinning, Dex connecting and then down to the FINAL NINE. Balls Of the most trivial challenges in Pokémon Home are the ones for depositing pokémon caught in different pokéballs. Depending on the ball there's an award for depositing 5, 15 and 30 in each ball (1, 5 and 10 for the rare balls). Most of this triggered on initial transfer but I ended up with gaps for the higher number awards for fast ball, heavy ball, safari ball and sport ball? The first two were simple enough as you do get given a handful in Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield and more had been given away as mystery gifts (presumably anticipating this issue) and once used can then be proliferated through breeding. However, safari balls are only available from the safari zone in Pokémon Heart Gold, Pokémon Soul Silver, Pokémon Diamond & Pokémon Pearl. Lastly, I had to look up Sports balls because I didn't even remember them. These are only used in the bug catching contests on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays in Pokémon Soul Silver. What's worse is, you can't manipulate the time on the DS as all time sensitive events freeze for a period afterwards meaning I only had a few days to remember to catch the bug hunt. Much safari zoning and one Tuesday prize winning Nincada later it was the fiddly transfer of pokémon from game to bank later and much breeding that ticked these off (if you need a sport ball pokémon, I have a few Nincada spare). Abilities Although I very much did set the arbitrary rules of this stupid challenge, I'm not really in control of what my mind will consider acceptable or not. Pokémon Home will let you see which moves and abilities you have registered but for unknown reasons the 65/707 missing moves doesn't bother me but the 12/258 abilities did. With a notebook and serebii.net open I worked out that I needed to find five specific pokémon from older games, the rest were findable in Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield and one, the ability Libero, is currently not available at all... Through luck rather than judgement, these were the ones I'd not picked up! They were in alphabetical order, galvanize, grass pelt, power of alchemy, protean and toxic boost. All of these are hidden abilities, meaning that they're not findable on pokémon during normal play but require some extra effort to get. Grass pelt is a hidden ability on Skiddo, the mount pokémon, ONLY available through Pokémon X/Y friend safari an all but defunct feature where connected friends in that generation would randomly generate a small park with 2-3 pokémon with their hidden ability. I checked my Friend Safari on the off chance I'd left the game with a Skiddo park and I hadn't. FORTUNATELY, whilst complaining about this to a pokémon pal, they did have one open so I hope to get one from them (phew). Power of alchemy required SOS battling grimer in Pokémon Ultra Sun with a Gardevoir with the Trace ability. Protean required Dexnaving around Route 118 on Pokémon Alpha Sapphire for a hidden ability Kecleon. The easiest way to get a toxic boost Zangoose was engaging in horde battles on Route 8 in Pokémon Y and KOing the Seviper before they take down the Zangoose sporting this ability. The last one to get is galvanize. A hidden ability only found on self-destructing geodudes in Pokémon Moon. Thanks to the Internet memory this has never been an easy task as it's impossible to stop them from self destructing whilst checking if they have the hidden ability. I've got 7 days left to try... HOT OFF THE PRESS Three days of trying (not continuously you understand) and a few near misses, we got one! NO MORE SOS BATTLES EVER PLZ So there we have it. What a ridiculous thing to volunteer myself to under taking but I will say that chasing these all-but-arbitrary challenges and achievements has resulted in something of a victory lap tour around the older games and the events and mechanics that each introduced. I've got no doubt that the Galar expansions will bring new pokémon and abilities to track down but IF I get that geodude it'll be a satisfying way to say goodbye to the handheld pokémon generations and to round off the hundreds of hours of ""fun"" these games have given me. * yes, yes, not proper OCD, headline innit.

http://www.thatguys.co.uk/2020/03/ocd-pokemon-home-and-race-against-time.html