#my shitty rnm recaps

[winged-fool]

I’d like to ask for the summary of the very last episode of RNM. I feel very conflicted about it ending. I’ll miss a lot of things, including you live-blogging. I would also like to take the time to say I love your fics. ❤️

Hello my friends! To the first anon, thank you so much! I also have conflicting feelings about it ending, it's been a long journey! I too will miss live blogging and seeing everyone else's reactions and commentary, the comraderie has been one of my favorite things in this fandom (after I blocked everyone lmfao). I do hope to start writing again soon! Thank you 💙

To the second anon, I am happy to be of service to warn others off on whether or not to endure this nonsense. The full summary will be below the cut, but honestly if I had to give a quick answer to your question rn, there were infuriating things about it of course because it wouldn't be RNM without it but not the WORST thing ever?

As always, summary below!

Okay so the whole thing with Clyde honestly ended REAL quick, within the first 25 minutes of the ep lol basically he kidnapped Rosa, took her to Shevani to get her blood taken out because it contained important protein(? maybe??) that would be useful for reviving Shevani's daughter except joke's on her! He actually needed the blood to make a serum that would fix one of the broken pieces of the galactic map.

Meanwhile, Liz called Allie Myers to come to town to help her with the science since her memory has been deteriorating from the alien mist/drug. It was really fun to see her, Liz, and Kyle do some science stuff together to figure out how to stop Clyde. Which they did by making a serum that would put the mark of Ophicus back on him and when he went into the portal he got stuck and then disintegrated, good bye Clyde~!

After that, I forgot who but someone was like well what do we do now? And Michael's like, I've got an idea! Let's have a wedding! They literally only mention Alex dying once and it was in the beginning when someone was like Kyle took Alex back to Deep Sky to figure out what's wrong with him and then I guess he's better now??? Idek

This was the WORST part of the ep, but for some godforsaken reason Alex and Maria have a heart-to-heart right before the wedding. He was like aw Greg can't come but I'm glad I get to have one family member in you being here to support me and then to add insult to injury, they had her walk him down the aisle because the writers want us to connect malex and maria together forever and ever I guess. Sanders shows up and gives Michael a lovely encouraging speech before the wedding and gives him something of Nora's as his something old for the wedding, it was very sweet and touching

It cuts to the Pony where Michael gives a little cheesy speech and then starts singing Edwin McCain's I'll Be and it's a montage of the wedding. Michael and Alex look so happy and lovely it's honestly so wonderful, it made me teary-eyed. Alex decides to take Michael's last name "Alex Guerin" because he's never felt like a Manes man anyway and it was just PERFECT

When Tezca was dying at the end of last ep, she shared a memory with Isobel who then shares it with Max which basically says that Oasis is dying and as the savior he is the only one who can save the planet. So he and Liz sort of break up (except not really because 10 minutes max later they sort of get engaged as a promise I'll come back for you) because for some reason he's the only one that can go. Like Isobel and Michael don't even volunteer to help him lol Dallas decides to go too so it ends with them going into the portal to Oasis.

As for malex, their story ends with them driving out of Roswell in the truck that has Just Married on the back window and the traditional wedding stuff tied to the back. I'm sure they're just going on their honeymoon but I like to think they were just leaving and washing their hands of Roswell entirely haha

As for Kybel, they didn't really have much going on in the ep unfortunately. Their story ending with them cuddling under a blanket together and Kyle asking if he can do anything for her (I think because Max was leaving) and she was like no this is perfect. It was nice :)

And that's it! We are officially done with Roswell forever and it's a strange feeling. This show made me angry in so many ways but it's still strange to say goodbye to a show I've been watching since 2019.

#my asks #anon ask #rnm s4 #rnm spoilers #my shitty rnm recaps

[winged-fool]

Can I ask for the episode summary? Also: Alex is back!!! And would you send a picture of the cake you baked?

Always happy to show off my baking!

But anyway! Onto the summary below

Okay I'm just going to focus on the pocket dimension stuff for this summary. I sort of checked out during the rest of the episode, except Kybel so I'll throw that in too haha

So quickly to summarize Kybel: Liz said something about Kyle not really understanding alien science since he's only done backdoor surgeries and he was all offended and so was Isobel. Later, he was explaining something to her and she was like huh well that doesn't make sense oh wait I don't mean to say you're not capable because you really! It was cute haha then they had a conversation in the Crashdown where Kyle was like hey listen things have been super awkward and I think we should just go back to being friends and she agreed but she was actually prepared to say that she wanted to take the next step with him so they're stuck in the Classic Miscommunication zone.

Okay now onto the nonsense, I mean malex! Dallas talks about getting more of the fruit fuel and Michael was just like listen I don't care about getting some fuel, my priority is Alex. Go off bb! Bonnie and Dallas split up from Michael to go looking for Alex to cover more ground. They get stuck in a shipping/cargo crate thing that is lined in lead which neutralizes their powers making it impossible for them to break out.

We see this Tattooine Jawa-looking creature complete with a gas mask approaching the shipping container and then Michael pops out of nowhere and is like not on my watch! And tackles the guy to the ground and it turns out it was Alex! I literally laughed aloud when it happened because of course. Alex took it in stride though and was like at least give me a kiss before you bust my lip ayyyyy! Of course, the fact that Alex is in a prosthetic and will suffer no consequences from this tackle is never addressed.

Alex talks about some Deep Sky mumbo jumbo about how he figured out some of the things in this pocket dimension so he was able to communicate with the other dimension. Dallas asks if he's seen any fruit in this dimension and he was like yeah let me show you then Bonnie was like oh can you draw us a map so you two can have some alone time? Which was very nice and considerate, thank you Bonnie.

So Michael and Alex are not sitting on the bed of a truck wrapped in a blanket together where they talk about the drive-in. Alex was like that was our first date! And Michael was like uh was it, because I remember you yelling at me about some copper? Whatever Michael, you were sticking it to Sanders for no reason AFTER he went out of his way to dress up for you smdh. Alex mentioned that he used to sit at the drive in watching movies and thinking about how he wished he could go home to Michael.

Michael then told Alex about the Oasis map and how he wishes he could go there but wasn't sure what Alex thought. And Alex was like are you kidding me? You've been looking for your home as long as I've known you. I don't care where we are as long as we're looking at the same stars together. Then he lacklusterily (is that a word??) proposed: Michael Guerin, will you marry me?

Michael doesn't answer right away and Alex is like well??? And Michael laughs and is like I can't wait to see Sanders in a tux! Then is like of course I'll marry you, I'm embarrassingly in love with you!

We're teased with the possibility that they're about to hook up in the bed of the truck only for Alex to reveal that the pocket dimension must be rife with radiation or something? Because he's been nauseous since he got to it and wearing the gas mask helped but it didn't help THIS and then he shows Michael his chest which looks all veiny and Not Good and he's like I think I'm dying.

Michael gets all upset and is like first you asked me to marry you and now you want me to write a eulogy?? And Alex is like it's not like that! I just want to spend what time I have left with you! And then Dallas and Bonnie get back (I know you don't care, but they couldn't find any fruit it was burned down) and Alex is like Dallas is a preacher he could marry us right now! And then the episode ended.

So...yeah. It was an emotional rollercoaster with a terribly disappointing outcome as usual! Thanks rnm writers!

#my asks #anon ask #rnm s4 #rnm spoilers #my shitty rnm recaps

[winged-fool]

As always, would love to read your episode summary. Also, in case I haven't said so in the past thank you so much for putting yourself through this atrocity of a show and providing summaries of its stupidity 😗😗😗. Its my favorite way to experience RNM.

Oh, my friend, that is such a nice thing to say! I've been watching this clown show live since I think 1x07 or 1x08? While it has TESTED me, I've invested so much time and effort into it that I had to see it through to the end so I'm really happy that my nonsense reactions are fun for other people :)

Now that that sap is over with! Summary below the cut!

The episode began with a Liz voiceover which really felt like a s1 throwback. It showed a bunch of scenes while she was talking about how far you would go for love and obviously the only one that matters is the malex scene. Dallas and Bonnie were decorating the chapel and Bonnie put up a Malex Forever banner which while sweet was...ridiculous lol Alex looked so excited to marry the love of his life while Michael looked on sadly.

Alex does his vows and I just couldn't take the scene seriously with that godawful blue filter slapped on and Alex was wearing his beanie. I sear it was a Look and not a good one lol. Michael decides to say "I don't" for his vows because he doesn't want Alex to die and he thinks he can still figure out a way to get them out of there. Alex desperately pleads with Michael to not let him die without marrying him which woof yanno??

In the no-filter universe, Liz and Kyle are working on trying to recreate fuel to get them out of the blue-filter universe. Isobel and Kyle decide they're done waiting and they're just about to kiss when Max interrupts them. *shakes fist*

They go to the portal because Maria had a vision or something idk I wasn't really paying attention because I don't care? They realize that Clyde is probably in blue-filter hell so Max and Isobel decide to go into it as well and echo has a passionate kiss while kybel decide to take the plunge and do the same. All very moving het stuff (I say this bitterly only because I think the malex kiss was pretty tame last week...)

The storm in blue-filter hell is getting worse but they go to where the tree that grew fuel fruit so Michael can try to revive some of it. Which then Alex is like since when are you a plant daddy? Which btw makes no sense because didn't we find out in s2 that Michael wanted to study agriculture engineering? Or am I making that up from fics?? Anyway, Michael calls Alex babe and also that he wants to take a shower with him (this sounds like a total non-sequitur but everyone was talking about missing water and what they wish they could do in no-filter universe).

Clyde shows up and kidnaps Bonnie, easily incapacitating everyone else. Alex is steadily getting weaker and feverish. Max and Iz show up and then they go fight Clyde and free Bonnie but not before he takes some of her blood so it can get rid of the mark/tattoo on his shoulder (the alien symbol which It think is the mark of Ophicus but I'm going to be real with you, I don't remember or care...)

Liz is steadily losing her memory from her alien mist drug stint but is keeping it secret. Kyle finds out because of course he does, he's a smart one. She almost relapses but Rosa had locked the mist and told her later that she knew she wouldn't. It was a very sweet Valenti-Ortecho moment tbh.

They figure out what they need on their end of the universe so they head back to the spaceship portal thing while the blue-hell gang do the same on their end. They also have Clyde in alien handcuffs which he easily breaks free from once the portal is open. Because of Bonnie's blood, which for some reason has trace amounts of DNA from everyone she's ever kissed and their powers, he is super crazy strong now and kind of freezes everyone in blue-hell, destroys the fuel to the console that opened up the pocket universe, and pops on over to no-filter universe.

The aliens immediately give up in blue-hell and Michael goes over to Alex to tell him he's sorry for not marrying him when he had the chance and he thought with his heart not his head etc. And Alex is like my love, my sweet handsome cowboy, I mean this with all the love in my heart but please stop whining. There are 6 aliens here, figure it out. And then Michael is like, you're right, you're right! And tells Dallas to use his water power to pull the fuel from the ground from when Clyde broke the console. Max is holding back the storm while they get this all done and finally are able to reopen the portal. Where would they (and this show) be without Alex Manes??

Tezca shows up in the pocket universe to kind of coach Max into controlling his powers to hold off the storm blah blah blah who cares, Isobel feels sad about her being there because it means she can't get out because she also has the mark of Ophicus but she tells her to go and then she and Max leave and Tezca is no more.

I left out a lot of the nonsense with Shevani, Maria, and Sonia (Eduardo's daughter) but honestly nothing of value imo lol

#rnm s4 #rnm spoilers #my shitty rnm recaps

[winged-fool]

Is it too early to ask for a summary? I am enjoying your description of the episode more than the actual episodes. Thank you.

Well who am I to deny the people what they want?? Sorry for the slight delay, I had to make myself dinner. As usual summary under the cut!

Okay so it starts with Clyde going to Theo's barn/church and taking all of the important stuff like the alien dragonfruit then burnt it down. It was Very Dramatic and they panned in on his snakeskin boots.

Maria tried to do a seance with Alex's Air Force sweatshirt (???) which OBVIOUSLY didn't work. Liz showed up and so did Rosa who said she was going to help Maria figure out what's going on with Alex. She also said this brilliant line that made no fucking sense but whatever.

Then Liz went home and had a brief moment with Max where they didn't really say anything new. Just continue to be utterly wrong for each other. He said that Bonnie and Dallas were missing and she was like oh so is Alex! And he was like oh shit Michael is going to lose it and she convinced him not to tell him for some fucking reason.

I don't remember what Michael and Max were doing...I think looking for Bonnie and Dallas? But whatever, then Michael went out to the desert for his search and lo bumped into Rosa and Maria and overheard them saying Alex was missing. And his reaction was meh lol

Michael lost his shit on Maria saying why would Alex be trying to contact her over him??? And how dare they keep this from him etc etc it was very nice and very cathartic. Then he went to the sheriff's office and punched Max, which was literally the best thing that has ever happened in this gd show. They got into a big scuffle before Max head locked him and Michael was like I walked through literal fire to save Liz Ortecho for you and you thought you could keep this from me?? And Max was like it was Liz's idea! Because he's an upstanding guy like that and takes the fall for his gf 🤪

Then he stomped off to his lair where Liz found him and he told her off too. But she had the antidote for his powers so he forgave her very quickly and also gave her advice with Max because it's ALLLL about the hets!

He quickly apologized to everyone for what he said which he absolutely did not need to do. His anger was justified and they cheapened it with his apologies but whatever.

At the Pony, the piano started playing Will You Come Home so then Michael started strumming the guitar along with him. Alex used lights to guide him, Rosa, and Maria to where he was quicksanded and Michael was ready to jump in to save him but then Max appeared out of nowhere and was like no! So he didn't. Also Maria can see like cosmos or something in the quicksand but who fucking cares why.

As usual, I think I got everything but lmk if I missed anything guys!

#my asks #anon ask #rnm s4 #rn spoilers #my shitty rnm recaps

[winged-fool]

Requesting one of your patented, salty episode summaries please??

I gotchu babes! I will say though that I paid pretty low attention to it so it's not going to be as good/detailed as usual...

Okay so Bonnie and Dallas reunite in the cosmic quicksand pretty quickly. They go around looking for things that Theo left behind for Dallas to find - but don't address the vision that Dallas saw of Theo when he first dropped into the quicksand?? I honestly thought we were going to see everyone kind of going on their own adventures in the quicksand and Dallas's would be led by Theo but alas, that would have been TOO interesting.

Max and Liz are at odds as usual, she's being very rude and snappy with him and he's just like uh okay? And she's like I'm going to figure this out for our friends! Then goes to Shivan's lab and works with her to figure out how to revive shit so she can bring Shivani's daughter back to life which...doesn't help the people they love at all? So idk what the fuck she was talking about.

Kyle is back! He and Isobel kind of have an awkward greeting then she's like hey we can hug right? And he's like oh yeah definitely! And then they hug and it's nice. They, Michael, and Max talk about stuff and what Kyle has been up to and he brings out this weird box thing and then he and Michael whisk away to the Guerin Grotto.

There's some sort of symbol on the box that either meant open or death and Michael is like eh close enough let's go use it on the quicksand to try to save them! I forgot what happens but Michael starts spiraling that everything is hopeless and Kyle is like HEY! Listen I just reached out to this girl I love and she didn't reach back but Alex is in some parallel universe and he's reaching out to you and clearly loves you so maybe have a little faith? And if you don't, then I'll have faith for you! So basically he was like, I'm the captain of this ship now.

Something happens (I already forgot what) and it opens up and part of the console comes out and it starts reacting to something. Turns out, during Dallas and Bonnie's jaunting around in the cosmic quicksand, they found a similar box and opened it up and like an alternate universe version of the console came out too and they started messing with it which caused its partner to react.

Maria and Rosa do some shit who cares and Maria ends up at this weird half-circle metal thing and calls Michael over there. They place the console in it and somehow everyone in Roswell knows Morse code and Michael and Dallas can communicate with each other via the console with it. It opens a portal connecting the two universes and Michael was like fuck it, I'm going in, I'm saving Alex and Dallas and Bonnie decide to stay too to help him. The portal was unstable I guess and then immediately closed.

Back to Liz's plot in this ep, she continues being a dick and getting high off the alien mist and then Rosa is like hey I think you might be addicted and she was like haha once an addict always projecting so why don't you lay off? It was really mean. She resurrects a frog for a split second, it dies, Max comes by to tell her off or tries to reason with her or something, it kind of seems like they break up, he leaves then she tells Shivani they're not on the same team anymore because they want different things.

Some nonsense happens with Isobel and Tezca throughout where they're trying to recover her memories but honestly, I definitely checked out during all of their scenes. Oh but at the end of the episode, she was at the Pony (I think) and staring at a picture of Kyle on her phone which was sweet. Max and Rosa show up and are like something's up with Liz we need to save her and Max is like you need to help me get my powers back.

I'm sure I could think of something nice to say about this episode...if I try really, really hard. It was an episode and we're one close to the end.

#my asks #anon ask #rnm s4 #rnm spoilers #my shitty rnm recaps

[winged-fool]

Can I ask for another episode summary?

I gotchu babe! Under the cut!

So after Liz finds out Max kissed away his powers, she was like fuck you for always making these decisions without me, I'm outta here. Then she went with Shevani to NYC because she just bought a cryogenic company? Idek, she's just a deus ex machina, it's annoying. Liz and Rosa are briefly reunited then they go to dinner with Shevani and once Rosa starts talking about her art, Liz interrupts her to start talking science with Shevani. It was really messed and rude.

Max goes over to Michael and Alex's house and they discuss with Bonnie what Clyde is looking for to get back to the Oasis, a ship and the map. Michael retrieves the map he'd been hiding in Alex's guitar case. Max gets all high and mighty with Michael like how long were you planning to hide this from us?? (Never mind the fact that literally the night he got it was when he got sick and he's been consumed with that but whatever!)

Michael and Bonnie go find Clyde to try to get him separated from Tezca and get more info from him. He mentions something about the Alighting again but still no concrete info on what exactly that is.

Iz and Dallas get in a hot tub to try to pry his mind open about his memories with his dad. Long story short, Theo knew Bronson, Bronson bought a piece of land under Walt's name, and potentially hid the ship that Nora built. There was also a reference about Tezca potentially being Iz's teacher back on Oasis. Oh and we got a scene of Jones coming to interrogate Theo which just made me nostalgic for s3 lol

Iz meets up with Max and Michael to go to the cave where Tezca is hiding and they confront her. Obviously because Michael and Max don't have their powers they were easily overpowered and then Iz fought Tezca and had a flashback of her training with Tezca. Max then shoots her with a tranq.

Maria is still being haunted by a ghost and she's doing what she can to get her mom to tell her what she wants. The weird things that happen to her in this ep include a feather falling on her (something that obviously never happens irl), the jukebox at the Pony playing a song, and a milkshake being made at the Crashdown. Turns out, Alex is the ghost and has been communicating with Maria for some godforsaken reason!

Dallas gets the bible and glasses Theo was working on and is looking at the land that Walt owns and comes across the quicksand that took Alex. Bonnie and Clyde show up, Clyde reveals he knows that Bonnie has been playing him and he ends up quicksanding both Dallas and Bonnie. I already forgot how Michael figures out that Clyde was playing him, but he does and immediately jumps into action to go save her. I'm going to guess next week's ep starts with him looking for her on Walt's land.

Ep ends with Dallas waking up in a cavern and he's reunited with Theo.

I think those were all the high points of the ep? If anyone thinks of anything I missed feel free to add below!

#my asks #anon ask #my shitty rnm recaps #rnm s4 #rnm spoilers

[winged-fool]

Would you please write a summary for this episode?

Always my friend!

Let me start by saying this had the potential to be a fun campy filler episode but because it's this show with these writers, we didn't get that.

Okay so it starts off with Liz being rushed into Deep Sky and everyone basically dismissing Michael as a viable alien scientist and lamenting that Kyle isn't there. It was Very Rude because Michael even started doubting himself and is further proof of why we need Alex because he ALWAYS hypes Michael up and believes in him but whatever.

Isobel decides to mindscape Liz and Max insists on going too so they go in, there are cowboys all around the Pony and Isobel calls out to one of the cowboys in the shadows on a horse where Liz Ortecho is and then they shoot her and kidnap Max. Isobel is forced out of the mindscape and Max stays behind

Rosa is like I'm going to call someone and then boom Heath shows up and is the "former adversary" that is going to help them. Which if they were going to bring Heath back how come they didn't idk MENTION him for 8 fucking eps?? Anyway, turns out he's been at med school in New York and he and Rosa have been bonding because she needed someone to help her with her alien powers and didn't ask Liz or Kyle because she didn't want to look weak in front of them. It kind of seemed like there might have been something romantic brewing between them but Rosa said he wasn't her boyfriend and he made another love confession to Dallas, but idk still unclear...

It cuts to Liz waking up in the mindscape and she's the sheriff and she realizes that she's in the mindscape and based on her own symptoms she's dying. Arturo shows up and he's the retired sheriff and calls himself Deputy Machete which was cute.

She goes to a saloon? maybe? where Maria is singing and then when she's done Liz (with Rosa) go ask her to go to the backroom and she takes them. Michael is playing poker with someone while Sanders is acting like a lookout? Liz approaches the table and it's Clyde that Michael's playing so she's like I bet you Max's location if Michael wins and he's like deal but I want that ring that's in your pocket and it was the engagement ring Max got from Arturo in ep 1. Michael wins but Clyde flips the table over and is like psych! I can't give you Max and then runs out of the saloon.

Other shit happens and then Liz goes to confront who has Max and surprise! It's evil!Liz looking hot and making great points! She's like Max is always holding us back, he can't even look after himself, he gave up his powers, he sucks, he's going to force us into a life of mediocrity. So true bestie! POP 👏🏼 OFF 👏🏼

She fails at getting Max back and then gathers everyone (Arturo, Rosa, Maria, Michael, Sanders, and Heath) and is like I need to face my evil side with my whole family (which somehow includes Sanders who she's literally never shared a scene with?? And Heath who she seemingly forgot about until this convenient scene??). So they go and they fail because a million Clydes keep popping up and killing everyone.

Just as Liz is ready to give up Ali (Shiri) shows up which she had a scene earlier but whatever who cares, and shoots evil Liz. Oh and back in the real world Isobel is feeling sad about keeping Kyle away and Maria gives her love advice blah blah blah

I missed the end of the episode because I had to go deal with a mouse in my apartment but I guess evil Liz came out of the mindscape (which awesome) and Maria and Michael shared a fireside chat (boooo). The promo showed that Michael and Kyle are going to team up to look for Alex next week.

#my asks #anon ask #rnm s4 #rnm spoilers #my shitty rnm recaps