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#n e ways enjoy this while i try and work on my tendou smau
rueren · 4 years
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haikyuu boys and coffee
purely self indulgent. i have zero reason or evidence for anything 😭😭😭(didn’t do all the characters but i did as many as i could remember)
dont give them caffeine for the love of god don't do it:
HINATA ... self explanatory tbh.  throw him a mini snickers n hes set for another 6 hours
BOKUTO... another self explanatory one.  if he’s getting tired give him like 3 skittles and hell be fine
Terushima ... just don't im begging u please don't give him coffee.  he hallucinates
NOYA  ... he will bounce off of the walls dont do this to yourself him
tanaka ... honestly i think hes fine on his own but if hes with noya, they'll do something stupid like see who can handle more espresso shots before getting heart palpitations 
kogenagawa ... this baby doesnt even like coffee dont let him have any im bEGGING  he’ll hurl
LEV ... oh my god no please he’ll drink straight espresso thinking it’s regular n be like this is light work yall r babies then down like fOUR CUPS then think hes having a heartattack my heart 😭😭
atsumu  ... thinks he can handle alot of coffee, but is def another one who will start to hallucinate
futakuchi  ... i have no explanation for this sorry guys
yamaguchi  ... its too bitter for him.  doesn't even like it.   eventually likes it when he’s older but w lots of sugar
goshiki ... very self explanatory. it’s too bitter. he tried once, bless him, bc he saw tendou constantly drinking jt but he just can’t bring himself to like it
they need an IV drip of coffee in each arm and one in their leg please they are tIRED: 
AKAASHI ... self explanatory
SUGA ... he’s tired let him take a nap im BEGGING. those kids are his life force but they also suck his life force. he loves them to death
asahi ... i feel like i’m highschool he doesn’t really need it but time skip asahi chugs like 3 cups a night during fashion week
oikawa, ... self explanatory again
kenma ... he probably shouldn’t take it as much as he does because 1) he only drinks the insanely sweet ice coffees and 2) he uses it as a substitue for sleep but kuroo is convinced that kenma will one day bite his fingers off if he doesn't let him have coffee so he begrudgingly allows it
ennoshita ... he is also tired 
tsukkishima ... doesn't wanna deal with anyone's shit
suna ... also doesn't wanna deal with anyone's shit. 
osamu ... doesn't wanna deal with atsumu’s shit in particular 
matsuwaka ... have you seen his eye bags? please daddy baby get some sleep 
TENDOU ... this man inhales that shit bro you cant convince me otherwise
hanikami  .. yeah it just fits tbh.  he hears oikawa speak once and just downs a full cup
semi ... he’s tired of everyone’s ..,,,, everything ?? he needs a nap ok he also gets vv grouchy when he’s jetlagged dont @ me. post time skip he downs a cup or two before he gets off a plane so if there’s any fans on route that stop by he isn’t rude n grouchy to them 🥺🥺
somehow doesn't ever need coffee, they're always awake enough to function (if only barely):
daichi... he had to get used to it, dealing with all of their shit for so long.  
kageyama... somehow drinks milk and is then completely fine?  nobody knows how.  milk literally makes you tired i- downed a pack of strawberry milkshake at a training camp and was physically buzzing from all the fructose
kuroo ... pre time skip this man has never drank a single sip of coffee once in his entire life i guarantee you.  but post time skip??? cEO KUROO???? ........ yeah he still barely drinks it, but hes always got a large ass Starbucks cup on him so everyone fears him, thinking he’ll be cranky without it it was a present from kenma awh .  its actually filled with water or tea of protein shake or something im crying.  like can you just imagine everyone in the office scurrying to get the big ass rooster head-ass boss his cup of morning coffee bc they've seen him with this enormous ass titan of a travel mug everyday and he takes it every morning graciously, only to give it to kenma when/if he drops by through the day.  pls im sCREAMING
shirabu ...  thinks its gross dont ask me why.  i have it drilled in my head that tendou got everyone to drink it but they pretended because they didnt wanna hurt his feelings, and nobody actually liked him.   
ushijima  ... the most self explanatory thing ive ever seen in my life oh my god. he read online once that it has addictive qualities and immediately went d r u g s ? ! ? ! ? ! ? tries his best to stop tendou from his “addiction”. “it’s like heroine, satori. you know, like cocaine. irl make you sick” pls my heart can’t take it
aran  ... i also legit dont have a reason for this just lOOK at him
kita  ... he doesnt need it dude hes fine. dont ask how, he gets a good nights sleep.  literally never needs to pull all-nighters. cute baby awh i love him sm 
aone... i physically mentally? can not  see this man drinking coffee it doesnt work
IWAIZUMI ... honestly i dont know how he does it.  he is a tired man how does he nOT DRINK IT.
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