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#not even dodolea or the emperor
wataksampingan · 25 days
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Extremely raw, probably irrational reactions to ep 105
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take your guilt trip, take your goddamn guilt trip, and GET OUTTA THEIR HOUSE
I just. I know she has reasons. The adult in me understands that this woman will have reasons, not altogether unjustified (time will tell), for upping and leaving and now suddenly returning to demand jUsTiCe for Pereshati coz in her perspective, I guess, she was... tricked? Made use of for her normal blood to produce a potentially uncursed child? Idk what changes seungu has made to Theo's older brother, so I dunno, OK?
What I do know: hurt people hurt people. I get it. I comprehend. The curse is Not Easy to Deal With - we have established that it is painful, lonely, devastating and is a good time for NOBODY, even the UNcursed community surrounding the Lapileons. The family themselves are not innocent, pitiful bystanders - there is plenty of blood on their hands. We know this. We understand - je comprendez, aku faham.
she still GOES IMMEDIATELY on my shit list for saying, straight to Theo's traumatised, guilt-bearing, anxiety-ridden face, that the Lapileons basically shouldn't exist.
TELL THEM SOMETHING THEY DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU
I THINK THEY GET THAT MESSAGE PRETTY CLEAR EVERY GODDAMN MINUTE OF THEIR SHORT PAINFUL LIVES
You're not even here for Celphi. You gave him up when you ran goddamn away. You left your baby with this family because you couldn't handle the burden of this curse and this Responsibility: the heartbreak of raising a cursed child.
You don't even have the excuse of Dodolea being some sort of obsessed, possibly reincarnated maniac of a woman because the princess obviously doesn't know this man or this family.
You lived with this family. You saw them daily. You bore a child for a husband you stayed with, right up until he died. Maybe the family were all cold hearted beasts to you because therapy ala Pereshati Jahardt didn't exist yet so you chose to cut and run. I don't blame you for the running. I can see why you would break under this pressure - I think many would have, just like you. I can even see why you'd leave your baby behind, because the Lapileons would have hunted you into the depths of hell to find him and you obviously wanted nothing more to do with them.
But now you come back. You presume to come back, thinking you'll save Pereshati? Without knowing a single goddamn thing about what she's been through? Without thinking what the fuck Celphi might do or say when he sees YOU, alive and well, in front of him?
GET OUTTA THEIR GODDAMN HOUSE.
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wataksampingan · 1 year
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This was supposed to be some form of Therdeo Dane Lapileon Defense Thesis but my brain cannot pull off all the necessary research to do it justice.
So I guess let’s just brain dump all my thoughts and feelings?? About this manhwa?? (Spoilers for the story up to episode 63 on Webtoons and 66 on Naver Webtoons)
...this also gets FAR too long so cut is here for sanity’s sake. Tl;dr Theo Lapileon is a wounded puppy and I want him to be happy gdi
I need to preface the Theo content by saying that I adore Pereshati. I think she’s one of the more realistic heroines that I’ve read, in the sense that she’s plucky and determined but she damn well knows how the game is played. Every move she makes is plagued with doubt and uncertainty coz she’s only a minor noble, and one with an unbelievable story at that. (Resurrecting after being fed poisonous blood and getting thrown back in time is a stretch for anyone). But whenever she does decide to do something, she handles herself with the kind of poise you’d expect from a grown woman who knows how polite society works. It’s the kind of elegance and maturity that the novel’s Perry doesn’t have.
I wonder very much how seungu would have thrown Perry into Theo’s way if they had had full control of the adaptation because the first... 10? episodes or so reads very much like a typical isekai manhwa: she’s murdered, she awakes, and then immediately besieges Theo with a proposal, simply because he needs to marry someone to get the emperor/princess off his back. The Perry we see currently in the latest chapters would likely have done something smarter/more socially acceptable/conventional simply because imperial pressure or no, why the fuck would the grand duke entertain a minor noble they’ve never met before?
Granted, this is quite in line with Theo’s character in the first few episodes as well (which is lampshaded in a later chapter AND I LOVED IT) whose excuse for entertaining her absurd request/proposal is just “I got curious about the woman who kept bombarding us with messages”. The Theo we see later, who just burns letters from the Fourth Princess Dodolea without even thinking about it, would have hardly buckled under that kind of insistence.
This is all pure speculation of course because the artist, seungu, has no social media I could trace. The original novel’s writer, Han Yoonseol, has Twitter and various socmed that show an active writing career and interest in the MILAOWM webtoon. But the artist? Nothing, apart from their work. They’ve completed a previous series (Google translated to “New Year’s Taste”) but that also seems like an adaptation. I have no access to their thought process, rationale or any inkling of why certain decisions were made. 
Whatever the case though, those decisions so far have me hooked. They’re making changes that reflect something more... realistic, with higher stakes and actual consequences for the actions of the characters. E.g. you can’t humiliate, much less threaten, members of the nobility at a public function in front of a crowd without some sort of retaliation. Theo in the novel actually threatens to kill a nobleman in cold blood in front of a gathered audience whereas Theo in the manhwa does this in private.
Well, I say threaten. In the manhwa, he has just a fraction of the dialogue Novel!Theo says. Just one or two lines before he snaps and is about to decapitate a mofo before being restrained by his guards. The bullying incident that precipitates this is also dealt with realistic actions and importantly, contains a reflection on Perry’s part about the power and privilege the Lapileons have in this universe. I don’t know if this foreshadows anything but my mind has gone as far as the dissolution of the empire/defection to an enemy kingdom (and the loss of their noble titles) by the end of the whole manhwa. Far-fetched? Maybe, but I have so much faith in seungu by now and so little idea of what they’re planning that I won’t be surprised.
Manhwa!Therdeo Lapileon is also extremely taciturn and poker-faced, to all the natural disadvantages this sort of personality entails. Everything we know about him is told in silent images, or expressions we explicitly don’t see. This is a man who believes in actions over words, who has no idea that open communication is a Thing and that doing stuff behind a person’s back without telling them can backfire at times (”I’m gonna have someone follow my wife’s ex-fiance around without telling her, and that got her kidnapped. SHIT.”) And all the backstory that’s been hinted at so far gives us very sad explanations how he turned out this way.
One could very justifiably argue that actually, the entire Lapileon family is a collection of sad iron woobies. Saoirse lost her husband and only son because of her own blood, Phineas is doing his level best to save his family but keeps seeing them die despite his medical expertise, Gloria probably had a HELL of a marriage to survive this long, and the poor children have had their own bouts of suffering and daddy issues. And of course there’s also Pereshati who’s been murdered about 3-4 times at this point, and lost a most beloved father to a stepmother she loved to the moon and back.
BUT. Theo.
If the housekeeper’s flashback in Episode 47 is anything to go by, and if I’m guessing right, Theo and Saoirse’s father (maybe grandfather? Unclear at this point but let’s go with father for now) was a nightmare of a man. Slaughtering servants for infractions was probably a regular threat in the Lapileon home, and judging from that flashback during the episodes when they first find Islette, so was torturing and testing his younger son’s limits. His survival in the family was due to his “usefulness”.
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One can suspect that of the three siblings, Theo was the one with the softest heart. We have no idea what his older brother (Celphi’s dad) was like yet and Saoirse is a Lapileon to the core: toughened enough to do what is needed, hardened even further by tragedy. She’s also a mom, which is why harming Islette earned Gen a rightful and vicious stiletto-heels-to-the-face-ass kicking. It also gets Theo a reprimand: get his shit together or step down from the headship of the family.
(And I’m just. Saoirse, honey, I love and respect you immensely and to be stepped on by your footwear of choice would be my honour. But that’s your younger brother we’re talking about. And he’s been emotionally sucker punched in just about every aspect. He’s trying, okay?)
I’m just saying that when you’re a child, and abused to that degree, sympathy from the devil is still sympathy. Of course it echoes to the present day even as a full-grown, supposedly rational adult. Of course it’s going to fuck you up.
You were also probably raised to put family above all (witness Theo not trusting Perry with the full truth of Celphi’s condition until circumstances force his hand, Saoirse only fully warming up to her once it’s clear she loves Celphi without any ulterior motive, Gloria immediately expecting her to be wrong about the family blood being sold, only to be confounded by the awful truth that this stranger to the family was right). You’ve been operating on the full expectation that any Lapileon would follow that creed. How could they not? Their curse is too great a responsibility.
Then you’re forced to confront the devil who once gave you rare comfort as a child, and that devil bears your family name and blood. Not only does he spout the most heinous things you’ve never imagined, he also manages to hit you where it hurts: you have used your blood. You have used it for your own benefit. Are you truly no better than he is? Who are you to judge him?
(Never mind that the devil is a liar and is trying to save his own ass which is why Saoirse, who has a better understanding of her own identity and self-worth, doesn’t give him enough time to say anything - she just kicks the shit out of him)
Is it any wonder Theo hesitates to do anything harsher?
Everything he does implies a reluctance to inflict lethal force if it can be helped. Perry remarks on it when he first removes Schiff without killing him the day they got married. He doesn’t even draw his sword on the assassin at the parade, merely KICKING HIM INTO ORBIT subduing him long enough to be taken in by the guards. The only times he has killed someone in the story is Perry’s ex-fiance who had kidnapped and blackmailed her, and... well, Perry herself.
(Which again goes back to that weird early episode installment - how do you reconcile him feeding her his blood in such a cavalier manner with the gravity of his responsibility as head of the family to ensure their blood isn’t used exactly like that?
You give him a HUGEASS dose of remorse and guilt later on when Gen accuses him of also using the blood to his own advantage, and then have him offer a sincere apology to the woman he experimented on.)
He also very nearly murdered the father of the child who bullied his ward. But even that was prevented by Raymon, the guard. This is more speculation on my part but his personal guards - who are all loyal to him beyond a doubt - may have been instructed (by him?) to restrain Theo, maybe to make sure he doesn’t repeat the sins of his father who just murdered people as and when it suited him. I don’t know if seungu would even bring this up at some point but I’ll be thrilled if that is the case.
This abusive childhood is compounded by the trauma of war. Theo specifically is credited with just swooping in out of the blue and ending the conflict between the Castor Empire and the kingdom of Schwartz. His reaction to being hailed a hero is to show up covered in blood to report to the emperor, and then disappear back to the country without attending any ceremonies. It earns him the notorious reputation of being “the bloodthirsty war fiend”.
Judging from Episode 13, what he really earned was a lifelong diagnosis of PTSD and various other neuroses. “Fuck this noise, I’m going home” was a reasonable reaction from a man who has no care or time for polite society. I'd go a bit further to suggest he also didn’t want to hear his actions being lauded as heroic when all he experienced was violence and death (re: that line about him being glad his statue was destroyed, that it’d been a stain on his honour). Whatever he did was to satisfy the emperor who has some form of hold over him, and absolutely no respect for the Lapileons (every single reaction from any imperial family member, even creepy Dodolea, has been sneering condescension or reluctant compliments). So from that perspective, why the hell would he have stayed to schmooze at the castle?
There are no therapists in Castor clearly coz Theo does what most soft-hearted introverts do and represses the shit out of his trauma. Just... stuff it WAY down into the depths of his subconscious and never address it because what the fuck else would you expect him to do? Talk about his ~*~feelings~*~ in the Lapileon house where weakness is a death sentence? No, he bundles it all behind his iron mask and resigns himself to literal nightmares for the rest of his existence.
The timeline has yet to be properly established, but I'm guessing that he comes back from war only to find that his brother has died and sister-in-law has just upped and left. Which means baby Celphi is left in his care. I’m not sure why Saoirse wasn’t the one to adopt him, but I’m guessing since he’s the next in line to the grand dukedom, it ‘makes sense’ that Grand Duke Therdeo has to be in charge of him. (Saoirse not being able to become head of the family just because she’s a woman is another sticking point that I suspect will be key to resolving this entire mess) (how/when exactly he becomes Theo’s ward is subject to many theories since the timeline of the story hasn’t been actually clearly explained; a guess that a friend and I have settled on is perhaps at the time, securing Celphi’s place as a ‘spare heir’ after Saoirse, Saoirse’s son and Theo in the line of succession would have been a practical decision. Either that or, more plausibly, Theo saw Celphi in himself and just decided to adopt the boy. Which makes this next part even more tragic)
The image of Theo in a soldier’s uniform looking helplessly into the cradle, with baby Celphi reaching up to him, broke me when I first saw it. It explains every mistake Theo made in trying to raise him.
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He was a soldier. What the hell would he know about raising children (even if the theory that he chose to adopt this boy is correct)? He loves this tiny child with every breath, and he’d do anything for Celphi - but most of what he knows is how to fight and die. How the fuck does that help?? Not only that, his only experience of fatherhood is the shadow of a man who abused him so severely. What is that supposed to teach a man about parenting?
Clearly not much, considering his very shocked reaction when Celphi ends up demanding what he was supposed to think when his guardian/uncle kept ignoring him all the time while he was growing up.
And the boy is correct. Theo has no answer. He fucked up (again), and he didn’t know he was fucking up so hard.
But my god, he keeps trying to make up for it. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but Theo shows up every day to pick him up from school with Perry; he’s even glad Celphi yells at him about killing Perry because that means he’s not turning out to be Therdeo 2.0. Celphi is expressing feelings and opinions and even if they turn the boy against him, so be it - at least it’s coming out. It may be too late for Theo to learn how to express emotions but at least his ward won’t make the same mistakes.
Which is why IT HURTS SO MUCH IN EPISODE 63 TO SEE HIM SO CRESTFALLEN. After suggesting to Perry she stay away from the Lapileon house for a while, she says she will and the dialogue translates to:
“Thank you for your kind consideration.”
THERE ARE THREE - T H R E E - PANELS where his face/expression isn’t shown at all but you can ABSOLUTELY TELL HE’S 360 DEGREES OF ANGUISHED.
This woman - this beacon of hope that he’s come to have feelings for (all the subtle blushing and unseen pining looks have been sprinkled very well throughout the chapters so far) - has just had to go through the ordeal of a trial (along with months of preparation before that) where she had to send her stepmother to 35 years of hard labour, among other things, for the murder of her father. She's just had to reconcile the mother she knew with the killer sitting in the dock, and the cries of a stepsister she once loved. And all this with the knowledge that it's the Lapileons’ blood that ultimately killed her father. There’s a stray thought that poisonous blood or no, her stepmother would have found some way to kill her dad.
But it doesn’t change how it was their blood - his blood - that killed Count Zahardt. It is Lapileon blood that has tortured Perry, the woman responsible for bringing out the best in his adopted son, discovering little Islette and bringing warmth back to this frozen wasteland of a household (to paraphrase Daniel Molton who is a treat of a character, I love him so much).
Yes, he's essentially thrown his immense resources into legal recourse, released her from their obligatory contract, and offered her help in being independent and free from them. He's done many, many things to try and make her current situation comfortable.
Yet the fact remains that she basically rescued so many parts of his life, and he inadvertently destroyed hers. Nothing he does will bring her father back.
Yet she won’t curse him or his family, won’t demand any form of recompense, won’t even give him the cold shoulder, despite everything in her that says she should. Her line “leave me be so I can resent you” is so good and so sad and my HEART disintegrated.
The most ironic thing is that Theo would’ve probably understood that reaction better. The justified reaction would have been to storm and rage at him. He knows what to do with anger.
Instead, she said thank you for your kind consideration.
And he can’t say anything to that as she walks away.
HIS LIFE HAS BEEN AND IS FUCKING SAD. AND IT’S GOING TO GET WORSE.
Episode 64 is already up on Naver and Dodolea is about to do a NUMBER on his ALREADY VERY FRAGILE PSYCHE. What she calls love - and what some of us may have suspected as straightforward obsession for his attentions - is seeming more and more like a love of torturing him, and watching him squirm.
He has to sit for a portrait in the palace (emperor’s orders probably because he just wants to jerk Theo’s chain around), and cannot escape when she comes into the room to sit and watch. There’s no good reason for him to leave, so he just has to grit his teeth and bear it.
And she laughs at his discomfort. She laughs and calls it “cute”.
The rage and fear in his face when she does so is alarming from someone whose poker face is usually immaculate. It sucks so much strength/spirit from him that it alarms Daniel who greets him at the house. I have a feeling that he’s about to just shatter into pieces since Episode 66′s thumbnail has him turned away, lying on a pillow. And then I will shatter, coz this dude CANNOT catch a break.
At some point, I came to the conclusion that Theo was soft-hearted and I cannot tell you when exactly that was. It's testament to how seungu weaves in his quiet charm throughout the chapters so we can see why Perry might possibly fall for him apart from his handsome face (even if at this point, that is the FURTHEST thing from her mind). There are huge things of course like rescuing her from her kidnapping and financing her legal battles.
But the little warm things speak volumes: learning how to dance so he could accompany her to a ball, saying yes immediately when she suggests maybe he could just reply to people, telling the servants to make her special tea when he found out she also had trouble sleeping, bringing a hot water pack(?) to ease her cramps, rushing back for her auction, squeezing her hand as he helps her into the carriage because that’s all he can do after the trial. (seungu did you also watch Pride and Prejudice (2005)? Did you see the hand flex scene and immediately decide to use this? Inquiring minds must know. Also inquiring minds screamed when they first saw that scene becausE HAND TOUCHES ARE GOLD BULLION IN SLOW BURNS) And just his face (?? back of his head?? seungu never gives us any idea what he looks like when he’s in ‘oops fell in love AGAIN’ mode)
BUT SOMEHOW YOU CAN JUST TELL:
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They all tell the story of a broken man who has made so many mistakes, but he can be kind and attentive, and tries hard to do what’s right (even if it takes him awhile to figure out what’s right, coz again: he’s Fucked Up). He’s also a socially awkward dork who ignores people at parties coz he doesn't know how to behave as expected. And resembles a really sad puppy when he disappoints Perry.
I could speculate a lot more on what/who the fuck Dodolea actually is and how she’s related to the Lapileon’s curse, but I also know this manhwa has steered some distance away from the webnovel. So I cannot really tell if the plot lines will be similar.  
I’ll probably be back after the plot progresses further so I can scream some more. I’ve been shrieking on Twitter but that site is subject to a hungry ghost’s whims and I can’t hide spoilers/rambling behind cuts there. So here it will have to be.
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Hang in there, your grace.
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wataksampingan · 1 year
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So... Episode 65 was released on Fast Pass today.
Spoilers for Episode 65-67 and some parts of the webnovel
Intriguing how one or two readers were able to correctly guess that Dodolea had assaulted Theo. I had to bumble around Naver, earn cookies one pair at a time and be rewarded by having my heart ripped out of my chest when I read what happened to him.
(”Watak, the signs were so obvious, how could you not tell?” I dunno man, I thought this was going to be supernatural magic and curses, not actual literal sexual assault). The screaming and gnashing of teeth in the next chapter is going to be wild.
How far Dodolea went is left vague-ish on purpose, I expect, though the drugging is in itself already enough to condemn her. I don’t know what sort of explanation (not endorsement) will be given for her actions considering that when Theo bolted out of there, her expression is LITERALLY “o.o”
What the fuck is going on with her? Is she going to be, as the webnovel proceeded to explain, possessed by some witch that’s obsessed with a past reincarnation of Theo? Is this witch so ancient that sexual assault is not in her vocabulary? Is the real Dodolea already dead? Is this going to take some other less supernatural turn? seungu what are you planning?? I have so many questions???
Theo’s soft-hearted nature is going to be the death of him. And I’m going to strangle this palace aide - who was only doing his job - but nonetheless. If I were Gloria/Phineas/Saoirse and found out about this conversation, I would chuck him into a sewer and leave him there for a day.
“Think about what she had to go through in society after you refused to marry her”??
Listen here, you absurd little 7:3 hair ratio man.
The woman is a princess of the blood, significantly above his station as grand duke. The only reputation she’s gained is the misfortune to be besotted by this man who’s married, and perhaps an embarrassing way of showing it. The worst thing the nobles could have said was “well, that was very gauche of the princess, what an unfortunate choice, she has no taste in men, why does she keep trying” Clearly, she still can move about in polite society without censure coz she keeps fucking showing up to mess with Perry, make vaguely threatening remarks and just generally be creepy. Like, all of that has been on her. A princess of Castor, with such a powerful family, cannot possibly be taken down so easily in social circles.
His reputation, on the other hand, despite all the admiration from the average citizen, is way worse than hers, and always has been. He’s the one whose first wife moved out after two months, claiming he was the worst husband AND he’s a supposed war fiend, bloodthirsty and vicious. I get that gossip can be fatal but Dodolea is not about to be further humiliated by him walking out. He’s already built up a reputation for being cold and rude and giving people the cut direct so why should this be any different? 
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Yes, yes, princess of Castor bla bla bla - but what’s your point??
But NO, he had to think of her despite himself, despite the emperor’s shitty behaviour and what she did to him. The LOOK on his face when the servant asked him not to sUbJeCt hEr To MoRe HuMiLiAtIoN (I still find this the most efficient orthographic way to convey sarcasm; my apologies if you find this offputting).
He sat there, subjecting himself to a panic attack and PTSD because he, at the heart of everything, actually seems to care about people. Even the reason he took the drugged drink from Dodolea’s servant in the past was because that man told him how much he admired the grand duke, and seemed to sincerely want his approval. So Theo took the drink to be polite. And suffered for it.
No wonder Daniel’s smoking by episode 66. I’d pick up a cigarillo/cigar too if I had to work under these conditions.
At least Episode 67 has Theo on... some kind of mend. And we get to see Phineas yell at him for being An Absolute Idiot. You can just about tell which panel involves him wondering why he went to all that trouble of going to med school (or its equivalent in this universe) when his own nephew insists on being Stupid.
(In case it’s not clear, I love Phineas with my whole heart and each time he looks like he wants to quit and become a humble radish farmer in the country, my love for him grows three times larger.)
I'll also have to be patient and wait to see what sort of hobby Theo apparently indulges in and is thoroughly embarrassed to be found out about (interior design/architecture wasn’t what I’d expected but y’know what, go off your grace). I don’t think I have it in me to download more random apps to earn free cookies for Naver. Then again, considering the medium lengths I’ve already gone to for this manhwa, who can say really?
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Pictured: the relationship I have with this manhwa apparently
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