#nothing like a video call w the entire family (incl extended family) to make u realize how fucked you are

[piplupod]

cannot tell if its lack of sleep or holiday stress or the last dregs of pmdd or if it's actually true but i am sitting here with the dawning realization and subsequent horror that i have thoroughly fucked everything up in a way i will not be able to fix. and now I'm not quite sure where to go from here.

#nor do i know how to even begin explaining this to any therapist or counselor #it all sounds like depression bs but i genuinely really do think I've messed Everything up for myself #i cannot see a way out of this now like. damn. i did a thorough job of it. #theres such a cacophony in my head and its causing the worst headache #i need to go lie down or smth. i feel very ill #nothing like a video call w the entire family (incl extended family) to make u realize how fucked you are #I've really just ruined my entire life for myself somehow. god i rly tried hard to do well but i also fucked things up so badly #idk im just. i need to shut up and go lie down probably #sorry