an addition to this post, as there is clearly so much more to unpack:
- in light of recent events, every j2 interaction from over the last year suddenly starts to hit different (e.g. the disastrous creation con panel)
- PR advisors inevitably descend, and j2 craft poorly written apologies that only highlight the growing rift between them
- an excess of bumpy road analogies appear on twitter
- the already strained mental health of the spn fandom starts to crack, with many people leaving for good
- jensen’s aunt goes rogue on twitter
- 24 hours on and spn tumblr is trying to reconcile genuine sympathy for jensen with the delirious highs evoked by the truly unprecedented levels of drama
- kripke tweets something that's probably meant to placate everyone but instead just further emphasises the rift between jensen and jared
- kripke hastily deletes his tweets and probably regrets every creating the cw show supernatural
- jared, without any sense of irony, implores people not to send hate on twitter. this receives an (understandably) mixed reception
- spn maintains its political reputation, as trump's former legal advisor comes out in support of jared
- somewhere in the us, a publishing intern is suddenly bombarded with lies about the author of an upcoming poetry collection, as, in an impressively horrible move, jared stans decide the way to solve everything is to send abuse about misha collins to his publisher
- non spn blogs start to become genuinely concerned by the fact half of tumblr is still a blazing furnace of destruction
- j2 stans continue to dig themselves even deeper into denial, claiming the entire twitter feud was simply a PR stunt
- misha collins makes a brief appearance as the voice of reason, and then sensibly sees himself out again
- some fans start to come round to the idea of the prequel, possibly because they've had time to consider, or possibly because, in comparison to the last 48 hours, nothing seems that bad
- just as things are starting to calm down a little, jensen uses the word "canon" in a tweet and the fandom implodes again (this time at the implication of destiel)
- jared notably still does not apologise for using shakespeare's words in vain against robbie thompson
- jensen causes yet another (admittedly, smaller) fandom meltdown by changing his twitter header
- "that's it... no more twitter today"
- despite the poorly crafted and unconvincing apologies, mainstream media won't shut up about the j2 fallout any more than tumblr will
- the schism between jared stans and hellers inevitably deepens
- somewhere in canada, jensen ackles probably has a breakdown
- misha collins does, as expected, post a nude video of himself to take the heat off jensen (*insert cockles joke here*)
- 72 hours on and peace finally seems on the horizon as, on the tumblr dash, compilations of misha collins in bathtubs start to outnumber twitter screenshots
- it seems like biden is okay (for now), but the real question is: has anyone checked on putin?
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Okay, okay, here me out: a fake dating fic where the monster of the week is only going after married couples, right? But instead of just pretending to be married, they actually... go get married. Like Dean just goes "well I guess this is the only way to lure this sucker out" and they grab a couple of fake IDs (since Dean is legally dead and Cas was never actually born) and they go elope. For the case.
Sam is off with Eileen at this point (either on a date or a hunt of their own idk) so he's not there to point out how glaringly unnecessary the whole thing is. He just gets back to the bunker to find the marriage license on the kitchen table, and just about has a heart attack. Like, he's known that Dean and Cas were into each other for a long time now, but he hadn't had a clue that they were dating! And now they're married?! And Sam wasn't even invited???
He's so shocked and annoyed that he doesn't even know what to say. He just tracks down Dean and slams the papers down in front of him with a "What the hell, Dean?!" Then he has to stand there and listen as Dean explains the whole thing, and Sam can't quite figure out if his brother is lying to him, or if he's just that much of an idiot.
Turns out it's the latter.
And the thing is, Dean and Cas both just act like it's no big deal. Like marrying each other is a completely sane choice to make. They don't get awkward about it, or act in any way like they regret it. If anything, they only get more idiotic and flirty. Like Dean just will not stop bringing it up in conversation. He's constantly making jokes, and calling Cas his husband. It's ridiculous.
Sam tries to bring it up to him once. About how maybe Dean and Cas were both using this case as an excuse to indulge in something that they didn't think they were actually allowed to have under normal circumstances. But he hedges around it a bit, trying to make the blow a little less sharp. And that fails miserably when Dean purposefully decides that Sam is talking about marriage in general, instead of specifically saying that Dean wants to be in a committed relationship with Cas. Dean goes into a big rant about how they were never gonna get that whole 'settling down with 2.5 kids' apple pie life. And then ends it with making a joke about how, hey, he got to marry his best friend though, at least. "That's the dream, right?" And then walks off before Sam can respond or start tearing his own hair out.
And then when the case is over, Dean and Cas are just like... why bother getting a divorce? What's the point in that? It's just a lot of hassle and money for no reason, right?
So they just... stay married. And by this point, Sam is banging his head against a wall.
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