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baked-hylian · 9 months

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why does each new season give me interesting crumbs in between annoying writing choices?

I finally watched the new season of tdp (didn't even know it was out) and I gotta say whatever writers left should come back please

episode one was extremely stale, maybe it's largely because I don't like how they've been writing Rayla and Callum's relationship, but it felt so forced and unnecessary of an episode all to force a "I trust her unconditionally" type of plot that doesn't even work with the information she's been hiding from Callum. Like why even hide what happened to her parents and Runaan? By now everyone is mostly aware of why the Moonshadow elves put the hit on Harrow, Rayla has been forgiven for her part in it. What purpose did that serve to the narrative other than to force the unconditional trust point that episode. A point that could have been done using the pirate town and her potentially having an arrest warrant from there, causing friction between the humans that still don't trust elves and Callum who doesn't ask her about the warrant, merely trusts that there is a good reason for it. I did really like Domina Profundis' design from the episode and I am still salty about the crap with the elf and human camp from the previous season and had to be reminded of it when Karim appeared.

episode two was better because of Claudia and Terry. Terry is great for her, love him for that, but I do dislike how much he shifts the tone during Claudia's scene considering she seems to be either being set up to stay a permanent enemy or perhaps episode nine will be her rock bottom before taking a different path. Also love all the shit going on in Viren's mind palace, poor guy needs a break.

episode three was interesting. I like the slow set up with Karim working towards taking back the kingdom via his first follower. I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amaya but it's Amaya and really hard not to like her. it does seem like tone is a difficult thing for the series to balance, and even by episode three it felt like whiplash at times between implied horrible thing and poop jokes.

episode four was probably the best of the first half of the season. It was so obvious that the book drop was going to be used as a makeshift fortress to keep out the corrupted banthers. However the episode just got laughable when the library became overrun with them. Would have been nice and cool of them to turn it into more of a zombie movie-esque situation and have corrupted elves and other animals appear, maybe even a dragon. also a little confused on how fast the corruption is supposed to work but hey, for plot reasons we need Zubeia to not become completely infected instantly, instead draw it out for several days/episodes for drama (same as the drama of whether or not Amaya and Corvus lived)

episode five was extremely predictable. Of course the first old elf ocean mage that the group meets is the one they need. We can't make this journey too complicated and heaven forbid that we take a moment to do anything, but maybe I'm still salty from the previous episode cause it seemed pretty far fetched that Zubeia couldn't just annihilate the corrupted banthers with ease and instead had to abandon Amaya and Corvus, because.... Amaya yelled for the first time on screen? BUT it did introduce my new favourite bad bitch Kim'dael, a bloodmoon shadow elf with some very interesting lore that I would have loved to see hinted at more when we were first visiting their forest.

episode six by far was one of my favourites introducing Captain Finnegrin but alas, all good things must come to an end because by episode eight he's dealt with like he was a stereotypical bully in a high school movie instead of a fearsome pirate captain.

episode seven was most interesting at two points. Janai being kidnapped by Kim'dael and the reveal of Finnegrin's ship being a giant hermit crab with a ship built around it. That was pretty sick, along with Callum literally stealing the wind from Finnegrin's ship prior to the crab reveal.

episode eight gets disappointing though with the way everything wrapped up with Finnegrin. I think I was hoping too much for that little thread of Finnegrin wanting to kill the ocean arch dragon due to wanting revenge for his first crab ship being killed by her. Really interesting, especially when he finally got the info he wanted from Callum about dark magic strong enough to kill an arch dragon. I thought it'd be really cool to see him return again, maybe even united with other antagonists at some point. BUT nope. Instead Soren uses the power of being a chill dude to convince Elmer he deserves to be treated better, and it worked somehow. Idk you'd figure a man who has been pirating over 40+ would maybe have had one or two actually loyal crew and not a bunch of essentially slaves. Seriously those kids would have been so fucked if Finnegrin had had some truly loyal men.

and lastly episode nine. Just poor Claudia, she really deserves the support she gets from Terry. Girl just wants to keep her family together. Was NOT expecting her to get her leg cut off in the confrontation, hopefully that sticks and she does some funky dark magic prosthetic for it. However the episode has left me wondering if they'll actually straight up kill Viran and use that to drive Claudia completely to the dark side, blaming Katolis and elves and dragons alike for getting in the way of her protecting her family, or will Viren live and try to walk Claudia back from the darkness? As it stands, I can totally see Aaravos forcing the dark magic spell to make Viren's resurrection permanent, but I do wonder if that was the only reason he created their freaky moth son or if there is more to that still.

#First couple of episodes I kept asking myself if I was gonna drop it #as the previous season and the sunfire elf camp actually pissed me off so much as it just was so stupid #but I made it through #because almost all the adult characters have at least one interesting thing going on still #but the kids (sans Claudia) are just getting a little boring #there was the moment in episode eight for Callum that was really good #with him breaking and giving Finnegrin the spell recipe #but I'm sorry Ezran is just boring #Rayla isn't horrible but certain scenarios with her just feel like a first draft #the whole thing with naming the baitlings was kinda meh (mainly cause I think all the names suck)#Soren wasn't too bad this season but it feels like he's hit a wall in his character arc with nowhere to go until he's reunited with his fam #I'm mildly salty about what age dragons finally start talking and why only select ones seem capable #(perhaps it's mentioned in a previous season and I forgot)#anyways I'll probably keep up with the series until the end #providing s6 doesn't dip even lower in writing for me

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windup-dragoon · 4 years

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【Ｒｕｓｔｅｄ　Ｈｅａｒｔ】

Pre-Stormblood / Post Stormblood

Words: 3,704

Hien x Kiri

It’s in the stillness that comes with nightfall that haunts her. When the commotion and energy of the day begins to subside, when she is left alone to rest her weary bones until the sun rises yet again.

Always it begins the same; a whispered thought hummed inside her mind, echoing like a tune one was entranced to repeat for hours on end. But it begins to brew storm clouds behind her closed eyes. Where once she could distract herself from maddening thoughts, she now begins to taste it. Being forced to relive a nightmare, the smell fills her senses, the ash heavy again on her skin, blood on her teeth and lips. The whispered voices crescendo and all at once there’s a blossoming of sound in her skull; cries and screams, the crashing thunder of metal that stamps out their pleads and begging of mercy.

“Are you well, Kirishimi?” A voice echoed, cutting through the thunderheads in her mind.

Eyes fluttered against the warm glow of lit torches. The table she found herself at had collected a few guests since last she opened her miscolored eyes. Yugiri to her side, Gosetsu before her, and to the roe’s side sat Hien; all three heads tilted toward her and painted with worry.

It had become almost habitual for the lot of them to share in sake as the sun sank low behind the yanxian mountains. Their days had grown long and tiresome as they plotted and schemed their next moves since having returned from the Azim Steppe. The House of the Fierce feeling more like home with each passing day. But while they toiled through the day to ready themselves against a powerful opponent, the evenings were spent resting and weaving tales long past.

The topic for that evening however...

Kiri shook her head and inspected her nearly untouched cup of sake. “Aye.”

Fine. She was fine. Right? They would look at her, an Eorzean unaccustomed to the taste of sake and perhaps believe she was lost in her cups, dreaming the night away instead of responding. Or at least it was what she had hoped for when she forced herself to down the remainder of her drink. The taste of it washed away the reminiscence paste of ash and blood she could still feel on her lips and in her mouth.

“Forgive me,” This time it was Yugiri who spoke. Such a soft, rich voice. Kirishimi admired it, knowing just how dangerous the woman beside her truly was. “Perhaps a change of subject is for the best.”

She felt her jaw tense as she cast her eyes to the floor. It maddened her that mere words would cause such tribulation inside her. A knot in her stomach and a drumming of her heart that made her blood burn and boil. Everything was in the past now, nothing could change that. So then why? Why did she suffer at mere mention of the Wall? Of the Griffin or of Ilberd, that traitor.

Why did her heart feel as if it were breaking like fragile painted glass every night?

Her cup was refilled before she could protest.

“You said so yerself, knowin’ the enemy helps.” An intentional growl set her voice low and hard, her annoyance unmistakable. “If it gives us a foot up on those bastards, then keep talkin’.”

“Although useful,” Began Hien with a gentleness in his voice she felt she didn’t deserve. “there is little reason to continue this discussion without the others for their insight. Instead let us make merry and talk of brighter things! Gosetsu here is chock full of stories worth a good laugh.”

Kiri dared a glance at the would-be prince of Doma, almost hurt by the smile he offered her now. Faintly she could hear Gosetsu rumbling with a belly laugh while vividly detailing his encounter with a ghost that plagued the docks years since passed. But to Kiri it felt as if the man should have been malms away; she was receding into herself once more. A hermit crab retreating inside its shell.

Once more her eyes met with Hien’s while Yugiri encouraged Gosetsu and his storytelling. His smile began to fade at the corners of his lips before his eyes drifted to his own cup.

Wordlessly the woman rose from her spot and left them to their animated stories of spirits.

- - -

Another day had come and gone. While there was no shortage of work to be done around the House of the Fierce, Kiri lending her talent for gathering supplies or scouting for imperial troops mucking about, when pools of moonlight flooded through the roof and over the aetheryte, she found herself feeling unaccomplished. Alphinaud and Hien had spent much of the day in heated discussion on their next plan of attack that went well over her own head. Alisaie, Yugiri, and Lyse made the day about honing themselves, even conscripting Gosetsu to help in their endeavor. Everyone had a place to be and a job to finish while they urged her to sleep and rest.

“You’ve worked hard,”

They would repeat for the umpteenth time.

“Take it easy and breathe.”

She had lost count of how many eye rolls she had given that afternoon.

How could they all expect her to just relax? There was so much work left undone.

Kiri groaned to herself as her mind continued to swarm. She dropped her head and slumped her shoulders, her forehead against the table before her causing an abrupt thump in the silence of the room.

“Looks to me as if you could use some company. May I?” She needn’t look up to recognize the voice that filled the midnight quiet. It was Hien, no doubt with sake in hand.

Her head lulled to one side, just enough to peer up at the prince beneath a curtain of silvery-white hair. There was, in fact, sake accompanying him. Kiri surprised even herself by letting a small grin creep across her lips at the sight.

“Does a prince really have’ta ask? Can’t’cha just... do what ever it is ya’ want?”

“I may have royal blood however I am not without manners. Sorry to disappoint you.” Hien’s voice was filled with a smile she couldn’t quite see from her current position, but it was recognizable enough. Even to her.

Kiri sluggishly pulled herself from the table, her hair a mess that she tried to smooth out before quitting her fools errand. “Yer no fun. A prince should be commandin’ of attention, yea? Barkin’ orders and what have ya’.” She reached for a cup that Hien had placed at the table once he had seated himself but found her hand empty as he withdrew it.

“Is that how you see it?” A chuckle on his lips had Kiri fighting against her own smile, focusing instead on the sake he poured for himself. He raised it to his lips, stopping mid drink to quirk a brow. “Oh, did you wish to have some? My apologies.”

There it was again, the smile in his voice. A touch of good humored teasing to be fair, but it brought such life to the tone. She dared not admit it out loud, but his was a voice she could listen to endlessly. The way laughter filled his eyes with stunning warmth, the sound of it encouraging a laugh of her own.

With lips drawn together to pout, she dropped her cheek against the palm of her hand, her elbow supporting her. “If ya’ didn’t wanna share ya’ could’ve had yer drink else where.”

“Aye, ‘tis true. Very well,” Hien returned her cup, even filling it for her. “A drink shared in good company is much preferable in any case.”

Together they shared the first cup. While it had come to Kiri’s attention that certain guidelines were often followed as one drinks in the company of others, especially that of a young would-be prince; full glad she was that Hien had never pressured her to follow their traditions. With her thoughts incoherent as they were already throughout her day, she was certain there was room for precious little else. She would apologize here and there, yet it never seemed to bother him. Perhaps one day she would put herself to the task of committing it all to memory, but certainly not tonight.

As Hien finished a second cup and rolled his shoulders, his lips pulled at the corners with an impish grin.

Kiri, having noticed this just moments before taking her own drink, paused mid action and stared over the rip of her cup. “...That can’t be a good sign.”

“And what’s that?” He tilted his head, feigning innocence.

“The look on yer face. Smug and up to no good. Or maybe yer thinkin’ too hard?” Without finishing her drink she put the cup down and leaned on her elbow. “C’mon, spill.”

“Oh. I was merely contemplating on what sort of secrets you harbor. After all, I did win our bet.” Hien looked triumphant in his reply, leaning back and releasing an airy chuckle. “Or have you forgotten? We had made an agreement at the steppe. Should I win, you would reveal to me your secrets.”

A silver brow arched as mismatched eyes focused on the prince. She did recall a brief mentioning of a similar challenge but she hadn’t thought him serious. “And if I refuse?”

“You are honor bound, my friend. Your secrets are as good as mine.” Hien’s smile was only brightening. As if he had won at some unspoken game or held a good hand of cards to use against her.

“I thought you were above using your princely status,” She teased in return, at last finishing her second cup and setting it aside to be refilled. Hien seemed to enjoy being in charge of how much she drank. Perhaps for the best.

“This has little to do with my title.” He corrected. “Although this might be seen as the Warrior of Light hiding something...” A wicked grin he flashed her, almost issuing a challenge.

“Fine!” Kiri relented, throwing her hands up in forfeit. “Whaddya want ta’ know? That I fell overboard on a ship still at harbor? Or that I tried ta’ pierce my ears with a fishin’ hook as a kid?”

Hien tried to contain his mirth, partly for her sake and partly to keep from waking everyone around them. “I hope the ship incident was also while you were a child.” His voice came out shaky with restrained laughter. The prince forced himself to inhale and exhale slowly, an act that only made Kiri puff her cheeks.

“Does that satisfy our deal or not?” Kiri wrinkled her nose before blowing out a sigh.

Each memory was easily recalled; Eyriwolk’s laughter still fresh in her mind and the scolding she received from Lynawyb just as unforgettable. But despite the pain she had felt in her ear for having used a hook instead of needle and regardless of the burning sensation of saltwater up her nose.... The memories were fond. Her heart beat felt soft in her chest, not quite an ache but still hurt. A longing she hadn’t realized she harbored until now. Every night had seemed torture before, she could only wish for dreamless nights. But as she drew up these memories from the bottom of a well, she felt just a touch of relief. A bit of hope... To remember there had been more to her life than just these past couple months.

Somehow it made her feel awake again. Pulled away from the nightmares that plagued her.

“Seeing your smile is more than satisfactory.” Where once his voice was bubbling with laughter and chuckles, it came now as soft and heartfelt.

Kiri looked up, her eyes meeting his. A bright smile greeted her, his attention never faltering. This alone made her heart flutter awkwardly in her chest; a sudden feeling as though it were a tiny bird locked away in a cage beneath her ribs. A rush of heat across her cheeks had her immediately spinning away, finding the ground suddenly much more fascinating then the curve of his lips or the way he tilted his head when he spoke to her. Yes, the ground was far more entertaining than any of those things.

“If I may?” Hien angled himself suddenly, obscuring her sight of the floor as to take her attention once more. When she inevitably caved and met his gaze once more, butterflies again thrived in her veins. “Although I cannot speak as if I know you, we’ve only but met it seems, however it is clear to me that every one is concerned for your well being. Alphinaud and Alisaie especially. You are always staring off into the distance, as if you aren’t truly here. Out at Azim Steppe I watched you battle so fiercely, with such powerful determination I admit I was awestruck! You were spirited and enjoyed it as far as I could tell.”

Hien paused and it made her nervous. She wasn’t entirely blind to everything around her. Alphinaud and Alisaie were certain to take notice of her change of demeanor. From cracking jokes and poking fun at the twins as if her own younger siblings, to a quiet woman who left mid conversation in favor of being alone. To them it must have felt a knife wedged between them but how could she inconvenience them with these maddening thoughts? It seemed somehow easier to dwell in solitude than worry them.... but even that had failed. Kirishimi ran her hand through her hair briskly, unaware in that same moment Hien had been reaching for her hand.

“Kirishimi-”

“When yer in battle...” She interrupted in a soft tone, once more looking away as she spoke. ”That’s all you think about. When ya’ work, you think about the job at hand and seein’ it through to the end. It was easier since I had something to focus on. First it was ta’ find you. Then to win the naadam.” Kiri paused in order to blow out a sigh. She hated this feeling. As if a child trying to tell an excuse for their rotten behavior. Which, she supposed, wasn’t far from the truth of it. “I like ta’ not think.... Because thinkin’ makes it all come back. The smell of it, the taste of blood in my mouth, and when it’s real quiet at night-”

Just as tears stung at her eyes, threatening to fall over the crest of her freckled cheeks, Hien’s hand gently came to rest on her lowered head. The weight should have been an annoyance but instead she found comfort in the warmth of his palm. She hadn’t realized just how cold her body felt until that moment.

He said nothing, instead choosing to be patient as he listened.

“How many more never get ta’ go home? Maybe if I had been there sooner,” Her voice cracked. Behind closed eyes she envisioned the Wall. The Griffin rallying everyone to his side, believing they were winning a loosing fight. Her blood boiled as Ilberd’s face taunted her memories, his words still haunting her like a phantom. Spoken before his betrayal, before the slaughter he encouraged, he had promised they would see a brighter future thanks to their hard work. It was all pretty lies. How many suffered because she couldn’t see the wolf in sheep’s clothing?

A tear rolled down her cheek, beading along her jaw before falling to the back of her hand. A hiccup interrupted her attempt to continue, hair now falling across her brow to hide herself away from the watchful eyes of Hien.

Thoughts of Papalymo came drifting to mind as well, memories caught on the oceans tide. She had enjoyed listening to him talk, so well educated and clever; even if he scolded her for not understanding certain terminology or phrases that he used. But it was his devotion that kept her coming back; he was so happy and proud of his work. And yet at the end he turned her aid away. He gave himself entirely to clean up a mess left behind by a mad man.

How many were gone that she had not been able to save? Minfilia, Papalymo... Not to mention the hundreds of soldiers and citizens alike who had perished waiting for her. Be it in Ishgard, the Wall, or even Rhalgar’s Reach. All her failures would follow her, even here in the Far Eastern parts of the world.

The heel of Kiri’s palm hit her cheek harder than she had intended, a clap filling the silence. Angry and frustrated she scrubbed away her tears before any more could fall, sniffling as if she were only suffering from a spring cold.

“Those who have departed would be proud to see what you have accomplished in their stead. And there are those still with us that have need of you as well. The road has been difficult, aye, but it does not make you a failure. Instead, grow from what you have learned. Stand tall, my friend.” Hien broke the silence in a hushed voice. Slowly, his fingertips dragging through silk soft hair, he removed his hand from her and settled back into his seat.

She heard the words spoken in his voice, felt the weight in his tone and even felt comfort in it. But Kiri couldn’t help but imagine Minfilia’s voice overlayed with his. Soft, delicate, full of wisdom beyond her years, and a tenderness Kiri had so rarely come across in her travels. And when she closed her eyes, fighting off the blur from more gathered tears, all she could see was those she had lost waiting for her with gracious smiles on their faces. Minfilia, Papalymo, even Lynawyb and Eyriwolk. Were they smiling at her? Were they some how proud of her? Despite her missteps and failings...

They still had such faith in her.

“I believe that’s enough secrets for one evening.” Announced the prince as he rose, his voice still hushed. “You need rest.”

Scrubbing her cheeks again Kirishimi lifted her gaze to an outstretched hand before her. “R-Really...” She sniffled, “I’m not... tired...”

But Hien tilted his head with a smile. “Not tired? Then pray tell, what are those rings underneath your eyes? The latest trend in Eorzea?”

Kiri huffed. “I don’t think I can-”

“Ah, you have forced my hand,” Hien gave a feigned sigh, a sly grin still hinted at the corners of his lips. “As prince of Doma, I demand you to get some rest.”

“Truly?” She nearly snorted, her brow arched as she studied him. “And what of manners?”

“My opponent seems stubborn enough to warrant it.”

- - -

There was a strange pounding in his chest as he watched Kiri walk away that night. She was off to board a ship to carry her home, her task completed here in the east. He had bid farewell to them all, even Yugiri who would travel once more to Eorzea by his command. But when it came to her, the words didn’t seem to exist.

His chest felt heavy with things left unsaid to the Warrior of Light. Memories of their time together running constantly through his mind, afraid he might forget if he stopped thinking of them. Would he forget the sound of her laugh? Or her mismatched eyes?

But as he stood in silence, his heart suddenly skipped. Kirishimi had turned to look back once more. The wind caught in her hair and sent it dancing as her eyes met his. Even from this distance he could read her like an open book; the worry on her features clear as day.

Again he said nothing but gave her an approving nod. She had spoken of her fear of returning to Eorzea; worried that she would only let everyone around her down again. But he had seen it for himself first hand. The wondrous accomplishments she could achieve. An entire country had been liberated thanks to her and the Scions. He had faith in her, as did all of Doma.

And with a smile in return, Kirishimi was gone. Off on another grand adventure.

Hien sighed.

“You foolish man!” A sharp voice at his side nearly startled the prince. He had nearly forgotten the small Scion at his side who had offered to stay in Kugane; his mind still racing with thoughts of Kirishimi. From their first wide eyed meeting, to collecting sheep and her soft blush when he spoke so softly to a frightened lamb, and back again to mere moments ago when she left him with a smile gracing her lips. He simply couldn’t be helped.

“Hm? Pardon me?” Hien blinked, worried he may have offended Tataru in some manner.

“You can’t fool me, you know! I saw how you stared at her!” Tataru pressed on, all but wailing on Hien’s knees at this point. Though he wouldn’t put it passed her.

“S-Stared at who?” The prince feigned innocence, his hands up in defense as he tried to quell Tataru’s anger. He knew precious little about the woman aside from Alphinaud and Kiri’s talks of her.

“Must I spell it out?” The lalafellin woman sighed. “Kirishimi!”

Hien swallowed, sheepishly rubbing the nape of his neck. “Ah.”

With her arms firmly planted on her hips, she could only shake her head at the prince. “You never even told her ‘goodbye’ let alone confessed! You’re hopeless.”

But this only caused Hien to chuckle. He turned away from Tataru and back to the expanse of ocean that now separated him and Kirishimi. On the horizon he could scarcely make out the white sail against the midnight sky.

“Saying goodbye to her felt only too final. As if I may never see her again. And I certainly don’t want that. But tell me, am I truly that easy to read?”

Tataru had to stifle an urge to fawn over Hien’s choice of words. So romantic whether he thought as much or not. Too bad for him that Kirishimi would no doubt wonder why he said nothing at all.

“It’s all in your eyes.” Tataru admitted with a matter-of-fact nod.

“.... Do you believe she noticed?”

A sigh. “Knowing Kiri? Certainly not.”

#|| Untold Stories #|| Tiger Prince & the Stray #hien rijin #lord hien #prince hien #hien x wol #Kirishimi #aaaaaaaaaaa #i said I wanted to write so I vomit words on the dash #oof #I guess I just wanted to touch on some of this for a while but just never wrote it #Ilberd and kiri ???? :eyes:#she's just so tired guys #she's been strong for too long #LET HER REST

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selfinsertsuki · 7 years

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OTP Answers

From this post

Who is a fussy eater and who will eat food even if they’ve dropped it on the floor?

Fussy eater: Hanzo, cannot even eat something if it touched an sanitized counter-top.

Heathen: Me, who declares ‘5 SECOND RULE’ each and every time. Gotta build that immune system bruh

Who constantly tries to get the other to shower with them?

Me, though I frequently fail due the fact that I already take like half-hour showers I don’t need to be encouraged to take even longer ones.

Who was popular in high school and who lies that they were just to impress the other?

Neither of us were popular nor do we attempt to lie about anything, but we do share stories of being in choir and seeing theater kid shit (me) and having to endure all of Genji’s playboy shenanigans (Hanzo).

Who is incredible in bed and completely knocks the other off their feet the first time they have sex?

If there is anything I will ever claim in my life to be good at, I can attest to my apparent skills of mad dick-sucking game. Git fuckin’ gud Hanzo Shimada.

Who plays video games and who snuggles up next to them as they play?

Hanzo plays the games, and I definitely am too lazy to do anything other than lay on him and watch him play the games. Occasionally back-seat gaming though, because GOD DAMMIT HANZO RIGHT THERE, SHOOT RIGHT--THERE’S A FUCKING D.VA BEHIND YOU.

Who is horny ALL OF THE TIME?

My asexual ass is never technically horny-horny but I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t be the one always asking for some premium dick here.

Who is sleepy and cuddly ALL OF THE TIME?

Who knocks on the other’s door crying at 4am?

Both of us. At the same time. We just watched Bambi and we’re both very emotional.

Who would have 10 pets if they could and who is adorably shy around animals?

Me, holding at least 10 hamsters, a rat on each shoulder, and a kitten hanging off my leg: Hey Hanzo-

Who takes like 10 minutes of persuading to get out of bed each morning?

Hanzo is awake like half an hour before his alarm goes off. By the time I roll out of bed he’s already showered, dressed, breakfast made, checkbook balanced, world peace achieved-

Who collects rocks and shells when they go to the beach and who thinks it’s dumb?

Neither of us thinks its dumb, and instead have a competition to get the coolest shells. Unfortunately for me when I show him one, I didn’t think to check that it was already in use by a local hermit crab and friend. The hermit crab is now our second son.

Who picks fights for no reason just so they can have kinky sex?

Neither of us do because we have a fair sense of open-communication for our sex life, and also because we both know we’re kinky fuckers and he’s not afraid to ask if he wants me to like, put on cat ears or something.

Who secretly admires the hell out of the other and thinks they’re the bravest person they’ve ever met?

We both do but constantly neglect to tell the other due to our aggressive social anxiety.

Who has an adorable sneeze and who sneezes so aggressively they pull a muscle?

Hanzo: *delicate sneeze, very cute, soft, adorable* Me: *SATAN IS HERE AND HE’S TRYING TO EXIT THROUGH MY NOSE* Me: I’m dying, Hanzo

Who wants to have sex at work/school and who is terrified of getting caught?

Hanzo has something for exhibitionism and I, most assuredly, do not.

Who smells the hell out of the other’s shirts when they’re away but pretends that they don’t?

Both, but for *coughs* different....reasons....

Who believes in astrology and who doesn’t care and just wants the other to make out with them?

Me: Hanzo just sit your ass down and let me read your goddamn tarot cards okay Hanzo: ... Me: Okay look at this spread, it’s saying that we need to fuck right now

Who would survive the apocalypse and who wouldn’t stand a chance?

Listen. LISTEN. I have an entire mental AU dedicated to this very question.

Hanzo would survive like the beautiful motherfucker he is and I, a mere plebeian, would probably get stuck in a tree or something.

Who is majorly ticklish and who is the tickle-attacker?

Hanzo once made the mistake of thinking tickling me was a good idea, and subsequently AND accidentally got kicked in the face.

Who greatly exaggerates being sick every time they feel even a little poorly just so the other will take care of them?

Me: Hanzo, I’m dying Hanzo: You just have allergies Me: I’m dying, quick, come kiss me better

#writingwithsuki #answered question #ask meme answered #answered

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