#obvi the autobots are great and I love most of them

[primal-con]

I feel like every time someone who only vaguely understands Transformers finds out I mostly like Decepticons they just assume I'm a fan of villains but they're wrong. It's cause the Autobots and Decepticons have wildly different group dynamics that are both good for completely different reasons.

The Autobots are a found family that act like a biological family. Like absolutely none of these motherfuckers are related to each other in any way but they behave with the same amount of familial obligation as if they were. Very "I have to care about you so I would kill and die for you but I refuse to share my Xbox."

The Decepticons are a hostile workplace sitcom. They explicitly do not like each other and only tolerate one another as coworkers. They've got office acquaintances and workplace friends groups who they shit on everyone else with at the water cooler but they couldn't give less of a shit what's going on in each others lives. Someone shows up with baby pics and keeps showing everyone and they're all vaguely nice to their face but literally as soon as they walk away everyone's complaining about the damn baby pictures. The copier broke again and no one will admit they did it but they will subtly imply it was Kaitlyn that bitch from HR. Soundwave does literally all the paperwork, everyone else is just playing coolmathgames and desperately wishing they'd stop getting cc'd in another goddamn email that's got nothing to do with their department. He leaves to bail his shithead adult children out of jail one time and returns to utter anarchy. Starscream's claimed sovereignty over the office eight times now and every time he gets fired until he grovels his way into getting hired again, literally nobody knows how he's doing it. The only thing keeping them from breaking out into fistfights in the halls is Soundwave's I'm Not Mad I'm Just Disappointed speech because no amount of passive aggressive rage can stand up to that. They used to run betting pools on which office relationships were going to last but Swindle kept winning so now he's not allowed to run them anymore. It's like The Office but gay, unethical, and I'd actually watch more than two seasons of it.

It's perfect, and the Autobots could never.

#transformers #decepticons #tf talk #I'm just on my bullshit again dont mind me kdks #I needed this highly specific opinion out of my brain #obvi the autobots are great and I love most of them #emphasis on most.... so long as its not that bitch Prowl #he's my worst enemy <3 #but not even Optimus getting lost on the family trip to IKEA #beat Megatron sitting at a desk with the number one boss cup Soundwave got him at the office Christmas party #doing paperwork and desperately trying to avoid the straight up war being waged outside his door #and the heavily poisoned coffee Starscream gave him that morning