#obviously irl toxic behavior is not easily negotiated away

[tiresomeimagination]

Baby Steps (John Doe x Reader)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Clingy, possessive, and otherwise yandere behavior. Implied kidnapping. Mentions of disturbing environments and extremely brief offhanded mention of gore.

Author’s Note: This can be read as standalone, or interpreted as taking place after Ending 4. 

~~~~~

How long have you been here now? A few days? Weeks? It’s so hard to keep track. Sometimes it feels like you’ve always been here, but you try to remind yourself not to take those thoughts seriously. After all, those weren’t your thoughts…those were his.

With a sigh, you hug yourself a little tighter and sink a little further into the ratty couch you were currently curled up on. It wasn’t the most comfortable couch you’ve had the pleasure of sitting on in your life, but it was much better than letting yourself come into contact with any of the countless heaps of trash that covered the dilapidated farce of a living room. There were very few places in your c̶̑͜a̴̟̤̓̀p̶̞̅̚t̵͎̓̓o̷͙͑̈́r̷̝̙̍'̸̬̐s̵̬̅ boyfriend’s home that felt safe. All attempts of exploration had resulted in increasingly distressing discoveries. The last time you tried opening a window, you had nearly been sucked into some sort of bottomless void. This had earned you a lighthearted scolding from him as if it should have been obvious not to open that particular window at that particular time. He spoke as if it was simply a case of passing weather. It felt like every extra minute you spent in this filth hole only served to chip away at your sanity a little more. If only you could just figure out how to get out! The problem was that you rarely got enough time to think without him breathing down your neck.

“Oh! There you are, my love!” The familiar voice called out from behind you. You jumped, whipping your head around to settle your gaze on the creature currently strolling over to the couch to sit beside you. John Doe. That wasn’t his name—not really—but it was the best way your feeble human tongue was capable of addressing the otherworldly being.

You turned your face away, forcing yourself to ignore Doe’s attempt at crowding your personal space. He flopped onto the couch, scooting closer to you and leaning in with his usual grin. “I have a surprise for you,” he announced, waiting for any kind of response from you.

“I think I’ve had enough of your surprises,” you huffed, sending a sour look towards him.

He laughed off your hostility, grasping your hand gently. “You’ll like this one. I know you’ve been a little homesick lately…so I brought you something to cheer you up!” he told you before reaching behind his back and revealing a medium-sized white box.

You cringed in anticipation. What would it be this time? A severed head? A pile of bloody organs? Maybe even something so terribly incomprehensible that you would never be able to sleep again.

Doe carefully began to open the box. It was…

…Pastries. Perfectly normal, delicious-looking pastries. Huh. Somehow that was the one thing you didn't expect.

Doe puffed up with excitement at the sight of your shocked expression. "I got them from that bakery you like," he explained, bouncing slightly as he awaited your praise.

You were at a loss for words. You hadn’t expected anything quite so…sweet from him. It reminded you of how you felt when Doe first showed interest in you, back when you were naive enough about his true power to feel flustered by his advances. You felt a rush of emotions, from happiness to homesickness to sadness and to frustration. Before you knew it you had broken into tearful sobs.

Doe paused, taking in your emotional breakdown for a moment before he set the box of pastries aside and reached out for you. “So cute~” he cooed, pulling you into his arms with all the patronizing affection of someone fawning over a whimpering puppy.

Part of you wanted to take solace in his warm body and firm yet gentle grip, but the more rational part of you remembered that this thing was the reason for your distress in the first place. “Stop it, Doe! Don’t touch me!” You spat, pushing away from him.

Doe reeled back, holding his hands uncertainly against his chest and looking as if you had physically struck him. Strange, considering all previous attempts to physically incapacitate him had led to little more than an amused chuckle or two. 

“You’re…angry…” He stated in a half-questioning tone.

You took a moment to compose yourself, take a deep breath, and collect your thoughts. “I don’t like it here, Doe…” You said softly.

“Huh? Why?” He asked with a small tilt of his head.

You nearly snapped, wanting to shout about how obvious your discomfort should have been or how the place was slowly driving you mad, but you decided that yelling probably wouldn’t solve anything. If anything, it might just make him more inclined than he already was to take control of your mind again. It was best to stay as calm as possible when attempting to reason with him. “I’m just not happy here. I want to leave.” You said firmly.

Doe’s smile fell, twisting into more of a grimace. “But…you can’t leave. Why aren’t you happy? I can make you happy…just…” He trailed off, looking around with increasing apprehension.

With an annoyed roll of your eyes, you crossed your arms and turned away. There was no use arguing with him like this. If he wasn’t going to listen to you, you wished he would just leave you alone to wallow in peace. “You just don’t get it,” you sighed.

This simple and quiet act of rejection seemed to cut Doe deeper than any blade could ever dream of, because he continued to grow more panicked by the second. He wracked his brain for the reason you were so upset with him. He had tried to make you comfortable in the shared space, he had made sure to give you plenty of attention, but it seemed like everything he did only managed to push you further away. Why were you still so cold with him? What was he doing wrong?

“...You,” he called out, his voice shaking slightly. “I can- I can fix it.”

Confused by his words, you glanced back over at him. Doe’s body seemed to be…melting? His messy hair writhed with agitation and his skin dripped like hot wax. You weren’t quite sure whether to be worried or scared. Maybe both.

“You can’t fix it,” you groaned. In order to do that, he would have to actually understand how messed up this entire situation was, and you were pretty sure he still had no intention of letting you go.

Doe ground his teeth and reached out to clutch at your arm. “I can fix it!... Please let me fix it,” he begged desperately. He couldn't take the thought of you hating him. He would do anything if you would just love him. Or at the very least start by not ignoring him.

You felt a pang of pity. No! You couldn’t pity this creature, you tried to remind yourself. But…he did seem to genuinely want to find a way to make you happy… Maybe you could work with this?

“Fix it how?” You asked with a hint of suspicion.

“However you want!” He replied instantly, desperation and hope swirling in his sunken eyes.

You cringed. Either he was playing dumb, or he really had no idea why you were upset. You couldn’t help but feel a little pity for him when he seemed so eager to please. You let out a long and drawn-out sigh as you thought over your options. This was the most he's shown since bringing you here of any willingness to give up control. “... Okay, we can…talk about it I guess," you relented.

Doe's form reinflated and he beamed with excitement. Talking was a huge improvement over the cold shoulder as far as he was concerned. He started to move closer to you, wanting to reach out and embrace you. Halfway through the motion, he remembered your previous anger and paused, taking a moment to think it over before awkwardly retracting back into the seat beside you. That was what you wanted him to do, right? He wanted to make this work.

The two of you sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, neither of you wanting to be the first to start what would likely be a very long discussion filled with tedious negotiation attempts. Who knew how long it would take to reach a compromise of any kind, that is if you could reach one at all. Maybe he was just too twisted to truly reason with…But for some reason, you had a little bit of hope.

You reached for the pastry box—sitting on the strangely viscous surface of what you could only assume was a crude approximation of a coffee table—and pulled out one of your favorite sweets. Wordlessly, you broke it in half and offered the other piece to Doe. His unblinking gaze followed your movement. You tried to ignore the shiver that his stare always elicited. He accepted the offering with a softened smile. Baby steps. As long as he was willing to give, you supposed that at least trying to work things out wouldn’t be too bad for now.

#john doe #john doe game #johndoegame #I think there's sometimes a difference in spaces in tags? #not quite sure #john doe x reader #john doe x you #also #obviously irl toxic behavior is not easily negotiated away #but this is fiction #and I like happy endings #and we all signed up for this problematic trash gremlin let's be real #I won't be clarifying this every single time I write something with yandere but I figured I would this time #yandere x reader