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#oh!! but also like bowie was such a strong competitor that he had to make it too!!
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i will say again and again how DELIGHTED i am that priya won. but i am also delighted that she and bowie made it to the finale together. about halfway through my initial watch of the season i just kinda went “oh it has to be them in the final two. it HAS to be” and for once in my life total drama agreed!! because it couldn’t be anyone else it HAD to be them!! and it was!!
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alarrytale · 4 months
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To add something to HS - the new icon theme.
I agree with probably everything what you wrote, Marte, because I have the same opinions. Fandom can argue what icon and being an icon actually means but for me it feels like Sony is going to the highest way aka they want him to be that legendary icon like Prince, F.Mercury, Bowie, Elton John etc. But as you wrote, imo it´s impossible as long as he doesn´t have anything significant and he´s basically very visibly influenced by those legends I wrote above. There´s something from Freddie, there´s something from Bowie, there´s something from Elton John. He can´t become a legend while being called "the next generation´s Bowie" because there was only one Bowie, he was first and the last one of his kind and nobody can replace him/continue in his legacy. Same with Freddie, 32 years since he passed and nobody replaced/overshadowed him. Bowie´s songs will be still known in another 50 years and so will be Queen´s songs all across the world. Tshirts with Bowie face/logo will never get out of fashion just like Tshirts with Ramones or Nirvana. Can you imagine this with H? He needs to be strictly himself having his own significant looks (which are not strongly influenced/copied from Freddie Mercury), significant way of being a performer, have some iconic songs which will be known in another 20-50 years through all generations (and they won´t get in gp awareness because "it´s about eating p*ssy").
He also on purpose doesn´t say any strong opinion/making political statements or using his influence to talk about urge things like climate change (that will even be hypocritical from him with owning 30 cars and using private jet to fly). Nothing will publicaly come from him because he´s already on the edge of not saying/doing something bad to not get cancelled and he needs to be blank canvas for his fans. This is also not a way to get respect from people who only see him as that weird singer who dates women but wears dress. How can the blank canvas become legend? For what? He even rarely does interviews and some of them caused more damage - like that last (stunt) one for RS.
He is compared to Robbie Williams and Justin Timberlake because all of them are way more popular than the boyband they came from but have you seen recent teenagers knowing Robbie Williams or Justin Timberlake and naming at least 5 songs from them? I have a huge doubt. Both of them were famous and on top in their times but their fame slowly fades with another generation of singers like...Harry Styles. And not forget to mention imo he´s this popular rn just because there´s no competition in male singers because there are no competitors and TS, Beyonce or Billie Eilish won´t take cause exodus of harries. All I see is artificialy-made hype around him and everything he does. He may do sold out 15 residency shows per venue and break records on streaming sites but that´s just numbers. You could see how icon (writing in sarcasm) he was last year at Grammy when audience was pissed ´cause he took AOTY from Beyonce. This is definitely not how respected icon (as they push him) is treated. Lately I have even got doubts about if that also legendary show at Slane Castle wasn´t done on purpose to push the icon narrative like "oh look, only icons like Queen had show there so H must be legend too now" - unpopular opinion but I think Sony came to the owner of the castle, made deal with him to let H play there and push it like he invided H to play there to feed the icon narrative. He even compared H to Bowie which takes me back to the beginning of the this ask - you have to be yourself to be icon and not be another XY of the generation.
Hi, anon!
Yes, i agree with this. I think Sony is building a icon/legend narrative around him. Like he's a big star, sought after, and untouchable. But he's not. He's not there yet.
I don't think it's enough to be yourself to become an icon. You need to be different, provide something new, exciting and original, and you need to stand out from the rest. Be epic. Being a blank canvas and trying to be everything to everyone isn't going to make him stand out. He's not showing character or personality. There is no social commentary from him either and he seems distanced and unavailable. He's a money making machine who's created to be a huge, but fast burning star.
It's hard to tell who will be come the icons and legends of tomorrow, but i think the way to go isn't using the same old tricks of the past, but being ahead of the times.
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‘The Holiday’ part II: sequel to the ‘Winter Wonderland Party’ but can be read as a standalone
Pairings: Esther Denham/Lord Babington, Sidney Parker/Charlotte Heywood
Prompt challenge: the near and the dear one for the ‘12 days of Sanditon’ hosted by @sanditoncreative​
Rating: T
Available on AO3
Synopsis: It was back in his third year, long before he started his current Master of Diplomacy, that he first set his eyes on Esther Denham. As a matter of fact, he could pinpoint the second he became a fool in love to the minute. Edward Denham exited a nearby bar. He knew the man didn’t possess a single good quality despite his popularity. So when he saw Esther making her way towards the man, and saw the man smile and open his arms, he closed his eyes so that he didn’t have to watch how the girl he’d taken a liking to walked straight into the arms of a man he knew could only hurt her. ‘Oh man!’ Crowe shouted. William Babington’s eyes sprang open just in time to hear an unmanly wail and see Esther’s knee coming down from where she’d planted it in his groin.
Check for notes at the end
William Babington was a fool.
It was the label he preferred above all others, because it fit him in all ways but one. He liked to act foolish with his friends, he had fooled around with girls a lot, and now he could add being a fool in love to the list of reasons why he was, in fact, a fool.
Babington liked to consider himself a smart man though. This was not only attested by the fact that he had, at present, wrapped up his first master’s degree in Politics without delay, but also by the fact that he had managed to not only keep himself, but his friends as well, out of any serious trouble despite the many, many times at least one of them should have gotten arrested or hospitalized.
He loved his friends passionately. They were always there for him: to have a good time or a quiet evening. He couldn’t comprehend how two individuals like Sidney Parker and Matthew Crowe had chosen him as their best friend: they loved sports while he didn’t, they did economics while he studied politics, and they had always been popular while he had not. But the three of them blossomed in night clubs when they left their inhibitions at the door, they all understood the burden their families could be: Sidney changing his studies to help his brothers, Crowe drinking to forget his troubles at home, and Williamhad studied politics because his father wanted him to try and enter the House of Commons, if not he was to enter the House of Lords as was his ‘birth right’, and if possible; he should try and become a leader or a speaker but no pressure of course.
It was back in his third year, long before he started his current Master of Diplomacy, that he first set his eyes on Esther Denham. As a matter of fact, he could pinpoint the second he became a fool in love to the minute.
It was at an eighties party, and he had come from a meeting. He’d still been in his jeans and clean blue button-up when he arrived at Crowe’s room where Sidney and Crowe had been playing cards and drinking beer until the hour was late enough to go to the party. There Crowe, who’d dressed up as a hip hop star, forced him to put on a t-shirt and a jeans jacket. He just narrowly avoided Crowe’s assault with a red marker, or he’d gone to the party with a David Bowie lightning bolt on his face.
It had not been when his eyes connected with her gorgeous brown ones after her curly haired friend started dancing with Sidney.
It had not been as they struck up a conversation during which he, as any good wingman, proposed to have a drink to the best girlfriend of the girl Sidney tried to score. But when he she simply rebuffed him with an ‘I can get my own drinks, thanks. Besides, I’m not going to play along with any wingman tactic. If Charlotte wants him, your friend will have no need for us hanging out together. And if I accept your drink, I am intended to work along in your scheme, which I won’t do.’, he had to admit he was at least intrigued.
But when Sidney and the curly haired girl started kissing, the girl was left alone, since her black friends had disappeared.
‘I’m William.’
‘Esther.’
‘Apparently she wants him at least a little.’
‘It does seem so’, she said while rolling her eyes as Sidney lifted the girl against the wall.
‘May I remark that you look marvellous in that aerobics outfit?’
‘You may.’ But she didn’t look either charmed or impressed by the compliment. In fact, she was completely indifferent to it.
‘So what do you study?’
‘Art History.’
‘You do? I’ve always been interested in it. Would you recommend it?’
‘Why, wanna change?’
‘No, but maybe I could do it after I’m done with my current ones.’
‘And what are the current ones?’
‘I’m in my third year of Politics.’
‘So generic’, she said with a huff. But she did smile this time.
‘I know.  It’s dull, it’s bland. It’s rumoured to be both easy and useless. I know the clichés.’ There was no use in telling her that he hadn’t chosen his studies.
‘So I’ve heard as well. And are the rumours true?’
‘All of them. I’m bored. Why do you think I’m asking about Art History?’
‘Adding another useless degree to the list does sound like something someone studying politics would do.’
‘But at least it would be interesting.’
‘It would.’
‘So, as a fellow student with a useless degree, would you mind having a drink? We’ve by now established that our friends are into each other so I’m not doing it to do my friend a favour anymore.’
‘I’d like to. But it doesn’t mean anything.’
‘I didn’t say it did, nor did I expect to.’ And so they did a shot of tequila and danced on, until she seemed to spot something in the distance and disappeared.
He didn’t fall in love with her when he saw her march past him and hit a blond girl square on the cheek. In fact: this made him second guess liking her.
His fondness of her however, increased when he spotted her sitting down on the pavement, hugging the black girl who’d disappeared half an hour earlier. She looked so sweet and worried, which was in stark contrast with the witty unimpressed attitude she’d shown while talking to him.
He observed how she supported the girl to a cab she’d called, after they’d been sitting outside for forty minutes. He was outside smoking with Crowe, a bad habit of his after he’d drunk. The cab drove away and the redhead turned around, hands moving up and down her arms to keep warm. He could see the moment her hands slowed down and her eyes sharpened.
He followed the trail of her eyes, landing on the form of Edward Denham exiting a nearby bar. He knew the jock: had to work together with him once, and had heard stories about him aplenty. He knew Edward Denham didn’t possess a single good quality despite his popularity. So when he saw Esther making her way towards the man, and saw the man smile and open his arms, he closed his eyes so that he didn’t have to watch how the girl he’d taken a liking to walked straight into the arms of a man he knew could only hurt her.
‘Oh man!’ Crowe shouted. William’s eyes sprang open just in time to hear an unmanly wail and see Esther’s knee coming down from where she’d planted it in his groin.
‘That’s for the girl in the bathroom you’ve cheated on today!’
‘That’s for everyone else!’ she hissed as she put her foot down on his. He tried to pull back, but she grabbed his arm.
He didn’t hear what she said next, but he saw her arm draw back. She was aiming for his nose next  when the curly haired friend ran out of the club with her hands in front of her eyes. Esther immediately broke off the assault, pushing Edward away and running after her crying friend.
That was the moment William Babington became a fool in love. Esther was tenderness, wit, coldness, vengefulness, protectiveness and violence wrapped in a lovely package of shiny black fabric. Why his heart decided that it was a good thing to fall for a woman who was beautifully unattainable and capable of killing him, he didn’t know, but it happened.
♦♦♦♦♦♦
He saw her a couple of times over the next few years.
As Sidney decided to campaign for an additional two years as a student representative Babington, like any good friend, spared a lot of attention to the other campaigners. Sidney and he quickly noticed how the redhead and curly haired brunette from the party were both in the running for their faculty. They were coming up together: Charlotte Heywood and Esther Denham. That got a good laugh from William. She hadn’t only attacked a random playboy, she’d attacked a family member. He didn’t know whether that made her more amazing, or more dangerous, but Sidney admitted that she had done what he’d dreamed of for years.
‘Hitting Edward Denham in the balls or lashing out at a misbehaving family member?’ William had laughed.
‘Both’, Sidney decided without the slightest trace of a smile on his face.
♦♦♦♦♦♦
The next time he saw her, was at the reception held for the campaigning students. It was the day the results would be made public, and all students in the running had assembled in the central hall of their university. The lists would be made public at 17h, and hung on a wall. The atmosphere was tense. The campaign had been overshadowed by two big campaign teams who had students running in each faculty, allowing for them to share campaign money and make big campaigns. Both teams had garnered a lot of media attention and had publicly slandered each other’s posters. Video’s had been put up on Facebook of students burning flyers from certain competitors. Both Sidney and the girls had remained unaffiliated, since the big teams had strong ties to political student unions.
Charlotte was merrily chatting with fellow candidates while Esther stood next to her in complete silence. The hand with which she held her glass was white with tension. Her hair was up in an elegant chignon, with some curls framing her face. The frilly Edwardian inspired blouse made her look like a runaway heroine from a novel. Her body had looked incredible in the aerobics outfit, but she looked unattainably gorgeous in her white blouse, black skirt and high heels.
She knocked back the remaining champagne in her glass and walked towards the bar, where he happened to be waiting as a servant was uncorking a new bottle.
‘You’re campaigning as well?’ He asked.
‘Yes, are you?’ She was surprised to be addressed and was visibly confused. Did the confusion derive from her not remembering where she’d seen him before, or from knowing all campaigns and not having seen his.
‘I’m not, but my friend Sidney is.’
‘Oh yes, I’ve seen his.’ Her mouth was tense. It hadn’t ended well between Charlotte and Sidney. His friend had admitted to having addressed her unkindly once, and afterwards she’d run away without giving a reason. She’d never approached him since, and Sidney had taken that as a sign she hadn’t wanted anything to do with him anymore.
‘The election days sure were something.’
‘Train wreck’, she huffed as she extended her glass to the bartender.
‘I think the faculty students must’ve been sick of us. We bothered them to vote for an entire week, barged in at the beginning of each class… There were over twenty candidates in Sidney’s faculty, they were a bit oversaturated.’
‘Yes, it was one of the battle grounds of Hearts against Hards, wasn’t it?’
‘It was. Lots of disappearing posters and slander campaigns.’
‘The game was dirty. According to the rules, candidates who slander and destroy campaign material are to be disqualified.’
‘If they get caught. If you don’t have proof to show that another candidate is the culprit, they can’t do anything. If a candidate asks their friend to remove a poster, the candidate goes free.’
‘The system needs to be revised’, Esther agreed.
Her face clouded as she looked over her shoulder at the gathered crowd. The big teams were all standing together, laughing and joyful. They seemed convinced of their victory already.
‘What time is it?’
‘Four minutes still.’
She shivered, looking quite unhappy about it. She gave a short nod.
‘Were there a lot of candidates in your faculty?’ He knew how many there were. Eighteen in total, running for twelve positions. It wasn’t horrible. The economy faculty had twenty students running for ten seats, which made it one of the more competitive and intense battle grounds. Meanwhile the politics faculty had five students running for eight seats, all were guaranteed to get one.
‘About average, there’ll be some who won’t get chosen.’
‘How was your campaign?’
‘We’re young. And there are many older students participating who’ve been in student unions and societies and student councils for years. There are another couple of lesser known people though, even a 70 year old History Students, which admittedly is both amusing and impressive.’
‘A very varied group.’
‘Yeah. But those older ones have already accomplished certain things, and they have a large network. We’re just relying on our friends and the strength of our program.’
‘I’m sure you’ll make it.’
‘You don’t know that… And the odds of both of us making it aren’t the greatest either. Though I’d be glad if Charlotte gets a position, she’s amazing and great with people. You don’t have to be elected to be involved, I know that, but there’s a long list of councils you can’t get into unless you’re elected.’
She was afraid of not getting chosen. And she’d already prepared for losing.
‘Well, you already look like a very serious board member of some council.’
He immediately regretted those words as soon as he said them. He’d only talked to her twice, and he’d talked about her looks both times. Exactly what women disliked. However, this time she smiled. It was a sad smile, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
‘Dress for success right? If you dress like you’re going to have it, the odds increase. Or so I like to think. Silly superstition.’
‘No, not at all. I do the same thing. I don’t allow myself to consider I’ve failed an exam until I get my scores and see that I’ve failed. Because once I start considering it…’
‘It becomes a real possibility’, she smiled, recognizing the line of thinking. ‘Yes.’
She bit her lip. Her lips were stained red, but they didn’t have a lipstick or gloss texture.
Just as he thought the conversation had ended, she sighed and talked again.
‘Though I wonder how big the odds of you failing are, since you’re studying politics after all.’
Her eyes were still staring holes in the door from which the secretary was supposed to come with the result papers. It gave him time to process his shock. She’d remembered his studies. Did that mean she’d been thinking about him as well? Or did she simply have a good memory?
‘I’ve failed one course each year. I haven’t failed anything during the first term this year though, perhaps I’ll break the circle.’
Her lips smiled before her eyes slid to him. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, the glass of champagne carefully held between three fingers as her hand pressed against her arm.
He knew there was no use in flirting. It was daytime. Her best friend and his best friend weren’t on speaking terms. She was seconds removed from a nervous breakdown and he felt way too awkward and self-aware to be anything near suave.
The door flew open. He looked at his watch.
‘It’s 16h59’, he announced.
The next breath she took was shaky, a shudder passing over her shoulders.
‘Yes.’
She walked towards her friend, retrieving her phone out of the pocket of her pencil skirt to look up the results.
He walked towards Sidney, Matthew, George and Susan.
Seconds later shouting erupted. The Hards campaigners started crying their slogans, and the Hearts started cheering. Sidney, George and Susan were all elected as well, with some of the largest number of voters of their faculties.
He congratulated his friends and immediately sought Esther out. She was hugging Charlotte, breaking apart from her as people started padding their shoulders. There was a big laugh on her face, which she covered with her hand as she looked at the ground. She was elected.
‘I’m going over to congratulate the other elected reps of my faculty’, Susan decided before walking over to Charlotte and Esther.
‘Not a bad idea’, George decided before sauntering over to a couple other Politics students. Sidney sighed. ‘Thank God the circus is over, now we can go back to doing our job again.’
♦♦♦♦♦♦
The next time he saw Esther was during his first Master’s. He had a class in her faculty and spotted her on the big steps of the main entrance. But he and George had decided to have coffee in the coffee bar across the building instead. It was ten twenty and all who had class were inside, and all who didn’t have class were elsewhere. The staircase, a place usually filled with smokers and students, was empty safe for the redhead. She was bundled up in a black coat reaching until her shins. She was on the phone crying. He wished to go to her, but he doubted he had the right.
She stood up after some time, pacing in front of the building. Her head shook, her fringe covering her eyes as her hands waved violently, she stomped her foot. Something was clearly amiss. Finally, she sank down again, apparently stopping to struggle against whatever the person on the other side of the line said. She buried her face in her hands, nodding along until she finally put away her phone. Her head tilted backwards towards the sky when someone else approached her. She started shaking her head and waving her hands again. She was laughing this time, but it was a performance, the laugh showing nothing but pure agitation and anger.
He thought of how she’d gone after the blonde girl and Edward two years earlier. He didn’t want to know what she’d do to whoever had caused her mood this time.
A week later he saw an announcement on the page of the general student council of her faculty announcing that after the sudden resignation of their president, Esther had taken over after an emergency election council.
♦♦♦♦♦♦
The next time he saw her was in November of the current year. He’d seen her at various parties over the past few years, but this was the first time they’d ended up at the bar together, waiting for their drinks. As a matter of fact, he’d been flirting with another girl that evening, but seeing her in that low cut top and corduroy miniskirt ruined it. Three years and she still held him in her clutches without even trying. He barely even knew her.
However, their best friends still avoided each other, he was two years her senior, she was in so many councils and organisations while he had accomplished awfully little in comparison, and he didn’t doubt that in her eyes, he was awfully dull.
When their eyes connected, they gave each other a short smile before he accepted his beer and left.
He was a fool after all, and only a fool gave up before even trying.
♦♦♦♦♦♦
‘You what?’
‘I brought her home and we had coffee a day after.’
‘Coffee?’ Matthew asked with raised eyebrows.
‘Coffee.’
‘Just coffee?’
‘Just coffee.’
‘But?’ James asked.
‘But we’re going for dinner next week.’
‘Well well. There’s life after Eliza after all’, Matthew laughed.
‘Shut up Crowe, we weren’t going to mention her again after the second time they dated.’
‘Second time was only because they needed to use her daddy’s law firm at a discount price.’
‘But she sure used all the time she was together with him to make him miserable.’
‘She’s asked me to come to her friendmas party’, Sidney announced.
The two friends looked at their favourite moody friend, who was staring at his phone as if he’d never held one before.
‘Does that mean a lot?’ He looked up from his phone.
‘Like hell it does’, Matthew grinned. ‘Only thing more meaningful is an actual Christmas Party with her family.’
Sidney stared at his phone for a long time. William had known his friend for a long time, yet he was puzzled by him. He couldn’t help but feel like Sidney hadn’t been honest. For years, it had seemed like his best friend had closed off his heart, and now, he had started dating Charlotte at a breakneck speed. It wasn’t like him at all, unless there had already been something there.
‘I didn’t know you two had started talking, Sidney.’
‘We hadn’t… Well we had, but only during general council meetings. We worked together on the Winter Wonderland Party.’
‘Working together is what they call it these days, ey?’
‘Watch it, Crowe’, Sidney growled. ‘We were professional. But I admit I admired her work ethics and attitude. We got off on the wrong foot a couple of years ago, but it turned out to be one big misunderstanding. However, we’re past that now.’
His phone buzzed again.
‘What’s it say?’ Matthew asked.
Sidney took a deep breath.
‘It says that my friends are invited as well, so I wouldn’t be uncomfortable.’
‘Oh, how sweet.’
♦♦♦♦♦♦
William Babington was a nervous fool that evening.
He knew that they were only invited because of Sidney. And he knew that just because Charlotte and Sidney were dating, Esther wouldn’t suddenly notice him. Yet he couldn’t help but nervously pace his room and change outfits three times. How did one have to dress for an informal Christmas dinner? Did he have to wear a Christmas sweater? He’d put one on, but then decided it looked silly and he didn’t wish to look silly. Did he have to wear a shirt and dress pants? Or was that too formal? Perhaps he had to wear a plaid shirt, a jumper and a pair of jeans? He looked like something in between a hipster and a dad in it.  And since Crowe had decided to start addressing him as the dad friend and Sidney as the uncle friend, he started feeling conscious about his wardrobe choices.
Eventually he left in a red velvet blazer with black lapels and a black jeans, which was semi dressed up and semi Christmas-y. It was less a deliberate choice and more that his time had simply run out.
Secret Santa gift in hand, he pressed the bell of the third floor room Esther lived in: the place where the Friendmas dinner was supposed to be held.
After just under a minute, the door flew open and a wide smiling Charlotte, dressed in a Christmas jumper – he’d decided on a bad outfit after all – greeted him.
‘Hi, um, William right? Sidney’s already here.’
‘Oh. Good.’
‘Come in, come in. It’s on the third floor’, she closed the door and jumped in front of him, skipping on the stairs with the grace of a gazelle.
‘Have um, many of the guests arrived yet?’
‘Oh, near all of them.’
‘Am I late?’
‘No, not at all. It’s just, well, heh, Georgie, James and I wanted to help with dinner so we arrived early. Only you, Sidney and your other friend – Matthew was it? – had to arrive.’
‘Oh, I see.’
‘We’re there’, she announced, throwing open the door. The light blinded him for an instant, after climbing the stairs in relatively little light.
The smell of lavender and food greeted him as he stepped in. A popular Christmas song was playing and laughter came from each corner. On a romantic bed with a flower patterned head board sat a dark skinned girl and a curly haired man, the girl wearing a glittering pink cocktail dress and knee high pink Christmas socks and the man wore antlers on top of his head. Half obscured by a Christmas tree too large for the room sat Sidney.
‘Look who I brought in!’ Charlotte announced.
‘A person’, the other girl decided.
‘Perhaps you should introduce yourself’, Charlotte smiled as she signalled for him to take off his coat.
He took off his coat and she hung it in a closed which easily consumed a third of the wall it was standing against. The bottom was filled with all kinds of heeled shoes stacked on top of each other. However the only pair of shoes looking particularly used were a pair of old white sneakers, clearly the pair she used most. The room was almost like he’d imagined: elegant, clean, obviously well kept, but he was surprised by the softness of the Christmas tree, the framed paintings on the walls, the amount of pillows and plants. It looked incredibly cosy for a woman with so many responsibilities and such a tough attitude.
He wanted to know why a woman who always looked so fashionable used her old sneakers most. He wanted to know why she had so many plants. He wished he’d been the first to arrive, so he’d had the time to take in every detail of the room and think of what it revealed about the woman living in it.
‘Hello, I’m William Babington, I’m a friend of Sidney and I’m a Diplomacy student.’
‘What are you going to do with that?’
‘I’m probably entering politics.’
‘What party?’ the curly haired man asked as he stood upright and started walking towards another door.
‘I don’t know what I’m going to do in politics.’
‘I’m James, engineering student.’
He nodded at the man who entered the adjoining room.
‘I’m Georgiana, Georgie’s fine’, the black girl announced.
‘Pleased to meet you.’
‘And I’m Charlotte, but you probably knew that already?’ The girl laughed sheepishly as she plopped down on the bed.
‘I do.’
‘You can put your gift under the tree’, Georgiana announced.
‘Glass of wine? Or something else?’
‘Wine’s fine.’
‘There are glasses and wine on the table’, Charlotte announced. He’d already noticed it of course, but was glad that he was invited to take a glass.
The lady of the house still hadn’t presented herself. He knew nobody would search anything behind him asking where she was, but to him asking for her felt like giving away his secret.
He poured himself a glass and settled down, talking with the two girls and Sidney until the bell rang. Being the closest to the door, he was the one who fetched Crowe when he finally arrived. They steadily drank their way through the first bottle of wine and ate their way through two bags of crisps until the adjacent door opened and steam floated into the room.
‘Esther, you really got to ask your house lord for a cooker hood, it’s a damn steam cabin’, Georgiana laughed.
‘It’s no use. I can send him all I want and he won’t come. There were a couple of loose tiles in the bathroom when I moved in two years ago which he said he’d fix then and he still hasn’t.’
She appeared from between the white steam, a pre-Raphaelite piece of art come alive with long curly red manes dressed in a stunning green and gold dress.
The ghost of a smile was still on her ruby red lips as she set down an oven tray.
Her long lashes fluttered. He froze as she raised her eyes, and connected with his. The black and gold around her eyes was a trap set to steal his attention and keep it there.
In his imagination, the rest of the room disappeared, until there was only them. He imagined her smiling, greeting him like an acquaintance despite that she hadn’t talked to him in two years.
‘Why did bloody nobody tell me the other guests had arrived?’
A silence fell in the room, during which the obnoxiously cheerful Christmas music felt quite out of place.
‘We kinda forgot. But you were busy!’
‘Now you’re all making me a rude host.’
She looked away from him to shoot daggers at her friends.
Crossing her arms, she looked around the room sternly before putting on a big smile.
‘Hey, nice of you to come tonight. Found it alright?’
William and Matthew nodded quickly.
‘Good. I’m Esther, Art History’, she explained, though her eyes connected with Matthew this time.
‘Enchanté mademoiselle, I’m Matthew Crowe at your service. Engineering.’
Esther nodded and turned back to him now.
James announced he was going back into the kitchen – now devoid of steam – to get the other dishes.
What to say to a girl you’d only spoken to two times, but you’d been in love with for three years. Was it alright to be familiar? Or did he have to reintroduce himself?
‘Hello again.’
‘You’ve met?’ Matthew asked with a big frown.
‘Actually we’ve all met’, Esther explained. This got the attention of James, Georgiana and Matthew.
‘We do?’
‘We met them in our first year at that 80’s party, remember? Charlotte and Sidney were being bloody inappropriate against a wall, and these two friends of his were there as well.’
Matthew sighed.
‘Again’, he mumbled beneath his breath, so low only William could hear. Throughout the years, there’d been an embarrassing amount of times where Matthew had apparently met people while drunk, who then talked to him when he met them on the street or on campus, while he didn’t remember them in any way. It was incredibly upsetting for his friend, since he was confronted with just how large his blackouts were. One time, he discovered he’d introduced himself to a certain girl on three separate occasions until, the fourth time, she’d told him they’d already met three times, and they’d even had sex the last time. After that, he wrote a note for Sidney and William, on which stood that if his friends showed him the note, he immediately had to stop drinking.
‘Oh, that night… Right. I was a bit preoccupied I’m afraid’, Georgiana mumbled.
‘Same’, James admitted as he put down two bowls.
The introduction of Esther and James stopped there as Esther looked at the table. ‘Oh, the filled apples are still in the microwave. Do sit down, I’m getting them.’
Stew, apples filled with cranberries, mashed sweet potatoes, and brussels sprouts with bacon proudly stood upon the table between bottles of white and rosé wine – apparently no one of Charlotte’s friend group was fond of red wine – and soda.
They all took place at the table, and by some freaky divine fate he ended up sitting across of Esther, which was both a curse and a blessing since it provided him ample opportunity to talk to her, but he was afraid to make a bad impression.
As he was contemplating what he could talk about, Matthew beat him to it by stealing the easiest topic there was.
‘So you do this a lot, since you clearly know how to cook?’
Of course he’d swoop in and immediately compliment the hostess and ask her about her passions at once.
Her smile at Matthew felt like he himself had failed. Matthew was a womanizer and Esther was a gorgeous woman. And while William had become increasingly bad at picking up women throughout the years – it had seemed to come much easier to him when he was younger and drank more heavily – Matthew was a suave professional, and a good deal more handsome as well.
There he sat, with dimples, gleaming blue eyes shining from underneath thick dark lazy curls, with the first few buttons of his dark blue shirt open and his sleeves rolled up, the embodiment of charm. Who wouldn’t fall for that?
‘Esther’s the best cook on earth’, Georgiana laughed. ‘She always cooks herself. I just barely manage to make some potatoes, veggies and a piece of meat but our wonderful momager makes lasagnes, Chinese food and baked pasta dishes on average weekdays’, James explained.
Esther rolled her eyes and sipped her wine, allowing the others to answer the question for her like she was used to it. Did she ever accept a compliment in a normal way? She didn’t pretend the compliment was misplaced, she didn’t shy away from getting the praise, but she didn’t accept it with gratitude either.
‘Momager?’
‘Esther’s the mom friend’, Charlotte explained.
‘But apparently I’ve got my shit together to such a degree that I’m also designated to keep their schedules, pick them up when they’re drunk, provide pep talks when they want to half-ass their school work and provide a crisis centre when one of them has some drama going on’, Esther explained.
‘She brings out the best in us, and keeps us out of trouble’, Georgiana agreed before putting a big spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.
‘That’s interesting, we happen to have a dad friend’, Matthew grinned, and grinned devilishly at William.
His heart skipped a beat.
He didn’t dare to make eye contact with Esther, as Crowe’s suggestion of them being a mother and a father hung heavily in the air.
If he looked up, that meant he didn’t mind his friend’s insinuation. He didn’t want Esther to think he was chasing her. He was, but he didn’t want her to feel pushed in any way, nor did he want to ruin whatever it was they’d established in their interactions so far.
‘Come now, Crowe, that’s an unfair amount of pressure you’re putting on my shoulders. Now I feel like I can only let them down by my awful lack of dad jokes.’
The table laughed.
‘It’s fine. It’s not bad being a dad friend, now I’m the wine aunt, that’s worse’, Georgiana comforted him.
‘So you’re the drinker?’ Matthew asked with interest.
‘We all are,’ Georgiana laughed, ‘but Esther manages to hold her liquor and drink wisely. She knocks back any shot, no matter how strong it is or how fowl it tastes without blinking.’
‘How does one drink wisely?’
‘Slowly’, Esther explained. ‘I take my time finishing my glass. When I don’t drink as quickly, I don’t get another glass as fast as the rest of them. And I feel it when I’m becoming tipsy. While, say for example that one,’ she said while nodding her chin at James, ‘drinks at breakneck speed and then the alcohol hits him all at once.’
James shrugged with a grin.
The conversation broke down as Matthew started asking James for some of his drunk stories, and Charlotte, Georgiana and Sidney entered a conversation about what made Sidney and Georgiana the aunt and uncle of their respective groups.
‘So, dad friend, you had an easy time picking a Secret Santa gift?’
‘I did, did you?’
‘Yeah, I immediately knew what to get.’
‘I pity anyone who got my name though, I forgot to make a list with things I liked while almost no one here really knows me.’
‘Makes it harder for whoever has you, but it means your gift will probably be a big surprise as well. I don’t know what I’m getting, but I’m betting on it being one of the things on my list if it’s any of you guys, and two potential other things if any of my friends got my name. I’ll still be happy with my gift, but the surprise isn’t as big.’
‘True.’
He took a bite of his food, looking around the room for a potential topic when his eye fell on a painting.
‘I’ve noticed some paintings on your walls. They’re lovely, what style are they?’
‘Oh I don’t know. It’s a bit of a combination of genres.’
‘Who made them?’
‘I did.’
‘You did?’
This time, she did laugh nervously while stabbing her food.
‘Yeah. Silly hobby. I’m always bored out of mind during the exams. I always get ideas for paintings and drawings when I stare at my course material. And then I simply have to make it, otherwise the ideas won’t leave me alone.’
‘Art breathes art?’
‘It does’, she said with a smile before sighing. ‘But art ruins art.’
‘How so?’
‘It’s my friends, they discovered my paper block with some aquarelles and water paintings in it. They bought me a couple of frames and forced me to hang up a couple because they claimed they had to be seen.’
‘You don’t think they should be seen?’
‘I’m an art student’, she said while maintaining intense eye contact. ‘I’ve seen everything. And when you’ve seen as much art as I have, nothing you’ll ever create will ever satisfy you or make you proud. Because you know what’s been created and you’ll never amount to similar greatness.’
‘Well, while I agree it’s no Monet or Waterhouse, it is better than the vast majority of modern art.’
‘Ah, let me guess. You think art died somewhere around the impressionists.’
‘I think it died when they stopped caring about it being pretty.’
‘You’ll have a tough time if you’re still considering doing Art History.’
She remembered. She remembered something he’d said three years ago! His heart jumped. He couldn’t help but hope that it was because he meant something to her, despite knowing how improbable it was that two people, who’d only met on two prior occasions, happened to both remember and care for each other. Life wasn’t a Hallmark movie, you didn’t meet people once and met three years later by accident, discovering the other person had secretly always been interested in you.
‘I admit, perhaps I’m prejudiced, perhaps I know too little about modern art to appreciate it.’
‘You’ll have a tough time. But I share the sentiment. Once you’ve been forced to study Viennese Actionism and blood and faeces art, you’ll never say “Art is just a matter of perspective” ever again. There is definitely something called art, and there are definitely things that are just shit with a shitty explanation attached to it.’
He had to laugh at that.
‘I’m afraid the same goes for politics nowadays. They’re just throwing shit at each other and it still gets called politics, but I object most vehemently.’
And so they set about discussing art styles they enjoyed, discovering they loved the same styles, only she loved more because she simply knew more art styles. And then she asked him about his opinion on certain political events, and all by all, dinner passed by way too soon. Sidney, Matthew and William were banished to the kitchen to clean the dishes since the others had helped making it, and afterwards, on the insistence of Georgiana, James and Matthew, the gifts were exchanged.
Babington gave Crowe a charger – because he constantly misplaced his – and a hair oil he enjoyed. Georgiana got bath bombs from Crowe, Sidney got a book from his list from James, James got a pencil for his sketching tablet because he constantly lost his from Sidney, Charlotte got a book from some roman writer from Georgiana, Esther got a book and a peak for her Christmas tree from Charlotte and finally… He got his gift from Esther.
They’d talked about their Secret Santa’s. She said she’d had an easy job! Which meant she’d either lied about it being easy for her, or lied to him when she admitted that it would probably be hard for the person who was assigned his name to find a gift.
But she had been right about him having no clue as to what to expect.
In his hands, he held the key to Esther’s mind. This gift wasn’t based on anything he’d put in a list. Which meant that whatever was now hidden by wrapping paper, was what Esther thought he’d like based on the two interactions they’d had so far. How did she see him? He would find out soon enough.
She was smiling, but the hand clutching her wine glass was once again white because of the strong grip she had on it.
He unwrapped it, revealing a book on 19th century art with pictures.
‘It’s wonderful. Thank you so much.’
‘You like it? I didn’t know whether to get you something about politics or art or just some booze. But booze is boring and I didn’t know what you’d already read about politics. I was afraid I’d be getting you something you’d already read so I decided art was safer.’
‘No, it’s definitely perfect. It’s perfect.’
‘Mom and dad even share the same interests’, Georgiana remarked with amusement.
‘Well, mommy and daddy got together for a reason’, William sighed, finally accepting the running joke of the evening.
‘Oh, so it wasn’t my aerobics costume?’ Esther remarked with a smile.
‘Well, it certainly helped grab my attention, dearest.’
‘Eww’, Matthew groaned, playing the obvious child.
‘And it wasn’t because you enjoyed her butt rubbing against your crotch as you were dancing that first night?’ Asked Charlotte with mischievous eyes. She clearly remembered a bit more than Matthew and Georgiana.
‘Charlotte!’ cried Esther.
‘And that was how he met your mother’, grinned Sidney.
‘Big mouth for someone who was being dry humped against a wall at the same time. Was Sidney so dull you had to look at us while the two of you were busy?’ asked William which lead to Charlotte turning red and Sidney covering his face with his hand.
‘Alright, now that we’ve established how this family clicks, with mom being sarcastic and dad being a roasting bastard, Charlotte and Sidney being the annoyingly happily married aunt and uncle, me being the dysfunctional aunt and Crowe being the kid, I think we should have a family pic’, Georgiana decided before crawling off the bed and forcing everyone to gather in front of the Christmas tree.
She positioned a polaroid camera with a countdown function on the table and raced towards the tree.
The result was Georgiana and Matthew drinking from a wine bottle, Sidney and Charlotte kissing in the back, and Esther and William awkwardly sitting in the middle between the chaos, smiling throughout it all.
‘You know, I would much prefer this family to have Christmas with to my own. I’m all alone since my dad’s travelling for business’, Georgiana sighed.
‘I’m supposed to be at a big family gathering but I don’t enjoy it too much either’, admitted Sidney.
‘Nor do I’, Matthew admitted.
‘My aunt’s celebrating Christmas with some rich friends of hers, somewhere in Switzerland’, Esther admitted.
Charlotte remained quiet, apparently having no problem with celebrating Christmas at home.
‘You know, we could celebrate Christmas together. We could do it here, or at my aunt’s home���’, Esther admitted.
Babington wondered where her parents were, and why she made no mention of them, but didn’t dare ask.
‘I’ve always wanted to celebrate Christmas with friends, Georgiana admitted.
‘I always wanted to skip family Christmas’, Matthew grinned.
‘I enjoyed celebrating Christmas with you last year Charlotte, but seeing a happy family and you interact with your dad was a bit painful. I think I would prefer celebrating elsewhere.’ James had mentioned before that his dad had passed away somewhere last year.
Charlotte nodded and looked at Sidney.
‘It’s a bit weird for me to go if you aren’t going. And I think it’s a bit too soon for me to join your family for Christmas.’
‘It would be fine, Sidney. I wouldn’t mind’, Esther said gently. ‘Besides, Matthew just said he’d be more than eager to join. So if we’d go, you wouldn’t just be amongst recent friends.’
‘What do you say, Babs?’ Sidney asked.
‘I- I don’t know… I mean, if we’re welcome. I’m supposed to celebrate Christmas at one of dad’s friends from the House.’
‘The house?’ James asked.
‘House of Lords. Babbers family has been in the house of lords for ages. Matter of fact, he’s a lord himself’, Matthew explained.
The reactions were instantaneous. They started shouting, all incredulous and amazed. Esther looked thoughtful for a second, but it was her question he answered instead of everyone else’s.
‘Do you mind celebrating Christmas there?’
‘Actually, I do. I don’t enjoy it at all, dad’s got a horrible taste in friends.’
‘And would you wish to celebrate it with us?’ Georgiana asked.
He looked around. He did feel unsure, but at the same time quite eager, to celebrate Christmas in the presence of these people. They just clicked together in the best kind of way.
‘Actually I would. And I have another proposal in fact. If anyone would be interested. We happen to have a house somewhere in Scotland. It’s surrounded by woods, and only a fifteen minute walk away from a town and a loch. It’s quite lovely in the wintertime.’
And within a matter of minutes, it was decided that they’d all be going to Scotland for Christmas.
He’d have his dear Esther right near him during the festive season. He’d see her each day for over a week. No years of waiting in between conversations. And though he wouldn’t push her, he would definitely try to endear himself to her. 
TBC Notes:
- There’s some bashing on studying Politics. This is meant only in gest, it’s something that’s done a lotttt in my university, and Politics students are even in on the game and playing along. My faculty (containing Philosophy, Art History, Archaeology, Languages and so on) is equally called useless and a ‘soon to be unemployed’ faculty and we’re equally in on the jokes and stereotypes. Please don’t get offended :p
- Names:
Matthew Crowe: Because Matthew is the first name of the actor who plays Crowe and it kind of fits him in my opinion. I researched the name and it was used a lot in the regency era. Though this is a modern AU I like to keep the names in the regency period as well.
William Babington: I’m a strong believer that Babington’s first name is James, it was a very common name and fit the character. But because I always go with that name I wanted to vary this time. Other popular regency names didn’t quite fit and after a 15 minute search I decided that a part of Mr. Darcy’s first name fit perfectly: William, which comes from the Germanic name Willahelm meaning "will protect", composed of the elements wil "will, desire" and helm "helmet, protection". Babington is a natural protector: he constantly checks in on Sidney, worries over Crowe and protects Esther from her brother in the final episode but also desires to protect and treasure her even when he can’t yet.
George: the Prince Regent
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