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#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow
borderlinegerard
·
1 month
Text
i hope i die, you broke my heart
#personal
#my posts
#so fucking tired oh my god
#just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic
#sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do
#like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me
#taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group
#as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it
#all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you
#theres a reason im always the person you go to
#byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you
#like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ??
#does it need to be completely equal to be fair
#and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat
#im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love
#like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired
#i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us
#idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood
#and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest
#you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either
#and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix
#but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt
#but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much
#i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did???
#and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me
#a little more than they were supposed to
#i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me
#iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary
#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow
#byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh
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