#or maybe the consequences of neglect growing up coupled with the living conditions they grew up in too???

[oddly-casual]

Cant stop thinking about how Donnie feels different from his brothers always and not just because of his interest in tech, but the way he communicates and expresses himself. The fact that he knows he’s much different than the rest of them and that affects the way he attempts to be perceived by others. Donnie hasn’t forced himself to change, so does that mean he assumes the others will have to stay and like him if he builds things constantly?

Cant stop thinking about how Leo knows he’s different from the others because he feels he doesn’t have a solid title to defer to when talking about his family, because not fitting into a box means that he must not fit in at all right? Bogging down his own potential because he fears failing the people he loves most.

Cant stop thinking about April, who thinks of herself as a failure (thoughts of self doubt don’t just go away), who’s made friend and seen things a ‘regular’ person would never see or understand in their life time. Who is ‘normal’ compared to her brothers but too weird to relate to everyday people. Who doesn’t consider herself part of the family either because she just doesn’t feel she belongs or because she’s not related by blood. Who tries hard to make friends and fit in with other people at school but can’t because there’s just something different and ‘strange’ about her that people recognize but never say, so April doesn’t know what it is. This feeling like something about her is wrong but she can’t place what it is.

Cant stop thinking about how Mikey doesn’t feel like an equal in his own family at times, because him being the babyest brother means that he obviously can’t do anything by himself and he obviously can’t protect himself alone. Even by Donnie, who Mikey hangs out with a lot, proves he’s not immune to putting Mikey’s well being over his own (even making a suit to prevent injuries- making Mikey feel like Donnie perceives him as reckless or unable to keep himself safe).

Cant stop thinking about Raph either. How he made his first priority always taking care and watching over his family, no doubt being the primary responsible one among the four made him a ‘kill joy’ or a ‘bad guy’ in his brothers eyes. With his brothers being kids and growing up never fully aware of the childhood Raph didn’t get to fully experience because he had priorities and believing that Raph is always the killer of fun. With Raph feeling the distance between not just him and his brothers, but his own father who never sought Raph out on his own.

I just can’t stop thinking

#My entire body AAAA #THEY #They just make me feel things #like-no matter how you look at it one of the family members feels excluded or like theh don’t belong in the dynamic #which is stupid because they all belong and they all care about each other and I’m just- melted #like that could just be insecurities or teenage hormones making them feel bad #or maybe the consequences of neglect growing up coupled with the living conditions they grew up in too??? #maybe I’ll look into that idk yet #rottmnt #save rottmnt #I realized I had a lot to say about April in hindsight all I have to say about that is she is my favorite your honor