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collisioncoursewithnoplace · 2 years

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Ring of Honor: One Year Later

One year ago today, I was excited. I had some extra cash, and I was going to get a replica of the Ring of Honor World Championship belt. I never had a replica belt of my own, and I was excited to add one to my collection.

It had been a while since I had seen ROH, but I heard great things about the Pure tournament, and I had seen some highlights here and there. So I thought I'd be able to get back into ROH that way.

And then, I checked the news.

“Throughout the pandemic, our top priority was to keep everyone healthy and safe, and despite not producing any live events over 18 months, we were able to keep everyone fully contracted. We now find ourselves at a time where we need to make changes to our business operations and are planning a pivot for Ring of Honor, with a new mission and strategy.

The year will culminate with a Final Battle in December, and we will be taking the first quarter of 2022 to work internally to reimagine ROH. ROH has the most dedicated fans in the industry, and we appreciate their loyalty and patience as we reconceptualize ROH.

We anticipate returning to live events in April for the Super Card of Honor with a new fan-focused product and provide a unique experience for wrestling fans.”

Oh no.

On that day's episode of Wrestling Observer Live, they were finding this out in real time, and they announced that everyone had been released from their contracts.

Oh no.

A week later, I get the news that my roommate is selling his house, and I'll have to be gone by April.

OH NO.

Coincidence? I think not.

I was still heavily into AEW around that time, but I finally caught my first ROH match in god knows how long, as Taylor Rust defeated Tracy Williams in a Pure Rules match. From there, I watched my first full ROH PPV, Final Battle. Aside from the CYN stuff (which was hilarious in hindsight, given that Kross and Strowman both returned to WWE anyway), the show was tremendous and heartfelt. It definitely resonated with me, as I was getting ready to say goodbye to the place I lived at for four years.

I then caught ROH TV on Christmas night. I stayed up late to watch it, and it wasn't until the end of the episode that I realized that it would be the last original episode for a long time. Maybe ever. The next day, I set out to correct my wrongs of not catching up with ROH, and purchased the Pure Tournament DVD, as well as some other DVDs on clearance. I wish I could have gotten the Sinclair logo shirt as well, because I highly doubt it's going up on Shop Honor anytime soon.

Two months after I had moved into my new place, Tony Khan announced that he had purchased ROH. I made a point to catch Supercard of Honor, which was a tremendous show from top to bottom. In the gym, I began catching up on ROH episodes while on the treadmill, mostly from the pandemic era. I can honestly say that 2020-2021 ROH is some of the best pro wrestling television I've ever seen. Tons of great matches, and an easy to follow format. I haven't seen every episode yet, but it's tremendous. The three-way faction war between The Foundation, La Facción Ingobernable, and VLNCE UNLMTD, the rise of The Righetous, and the Quest for Gold to crown the inaugural ROH Women's World Champion is all just compelling stuff. I know Hunter Johnston catches a lot of flack for his booking philosophies, but he deserves a ton of credit for how this show came together over the course of sixteen months. I know a lot of people were disappointed by the lack of crowds, but I think having no fans was different, and in some ways, enhanced the product. Being able to hear the trash talk (Tony Deppen: "What, do you think I'm stupid?!" Tracy Williams: "...yes.") and seeing wrestlers work while calling spots as quietly as humanly possible is fascinating.

Since then, we've seen Death Before Dishonor, which was yet another tremendous show anchored by the rematch between FTR and The Briscoes for the ROH World Tag Team Championship. That was the same week as the overbooked, disastrous Barbed Wire Everything match between Eddie Kingston and Chris Jericho, and I was in no mood to hear anything about AEW for the rest of the week. Death Before Dishonor, much like Supercard of Honor before it, featured matches with clean finishes and little to no shenanigans outside of Samoa Joe vs. Jay Lethal. This is what I'm hoping for when ROH inevitably (hopefully) returns to TV next year. It needs to have its own separate identity. I get that it's easier to consolidate everything when you have the same crew filming and working your shows, but ROH needs to be its own company. Not just a glorified edition of Dark or Elevation every week.

The Ring of Jericho stuff shows promise, and it's a good way to keep eyes on the company, while simultaneously showcasing guys like Bandido and Dalton Castle, both of whom absolutely deserve a spotlight.

In one of the episodes of pandemic era ROH, there was a match between Dragon Lee and Eli Isom for the ROH World Television Championship. There was a throwaway line about how Dalton Castle (on commentary) wanted ROH TV to get Golden Globes and Emmys, but lead announcer Ian Riccaboni preferred to settle for a Wrestling Observer Award before asking, “Do we even qualify for those anymore?”

I laughed... and then I didn't.

Catching up on these episodes (as well as episodes from when The Elite were running the show) has been a reminder as to why I loved ROH in the first place. I have a pro wrestling creative writing project called Soul Wrestling Incorporated, and it feels like an emulation of ROH. I can picture the camera angles, the stage, the sounds in my head as I write these results and shows, and everything ties into ROH. This company has influenced my writing in many ways, and I can't thank them enough.

It's the company that never said die (even when they were losing money before the Sinclair deal), the company that developed talents long before there was an NXT, and the company that helped define what pro wrestling is today. Without ROH, there's no Yes movement, no Pipebomb, no Architect of the Shield, and Adam Cole Bay Bay. And while AEW could have turned out fine regardless, it was ROH that helped give the Elite the platform needed to break out and make it on their own (although to be fair, that had more to do with Being the Elite being as popular as it was).

ROH going on hiatus and firing everyone right around the time I had to find a new place to live really hit home to me. The house I was living at became a veritable safe space for me. It was the place I lived when I got my license, secured a promotion at work, and needed shelter from the pandemic. I always knew that eventually, I'd have to move on, but I always thought I had more time. But life has a funny way of working out. Now I'm a homeowner despite being told growing up that I never would be (I'm autistic), and ROH is going to host its 21st Final Battle event in less than two months.

Is ROH in a better place than it was a year ago? 90% yes, but 10% no. The future looks promising with a new TV deal, and the fact that ROH has the likes of Jericho, Claudio Castagnoli, Samoa Joe, Daniel Garcia, Wheeler Yuta, Lee Moriarty, Dalton Castle, Willow Nightingale, and more in their corner. In addition, there are arguably more eyes on what ROH will do next since the Elite left. But as a fan, I feel that a lot was sacrificed to get to this point. Jonathan Gresham, arguably one of, if not, the best technical wrestlers in the world, quit after not being used properly. There's no more Foundation or VLNCE UNLMTD (although I won't miss Chris Dickinson). Rok-C and Quinn McKay are both in WWE, where the former has wanted to be since she started, so I can't blame her. Most of the guys that were having great matches during the pandemic are being trotted out on Dark and Elevation to be fed to AEW guys. Eli Isom, for all the work he put in and all the great matches he had, gets steamrolled by Ricky Starks in under a minute.

So, there is cautious optimism. It all depends on who will dethrone Jericho for the ROH World Championship, and what the TV show will look like. All I know is that a year ago today, I never would have guessed that having ROH back in my life would be so damn satisfying as a long-time fan of professional wrestling.

Thank you for everything, ROH. It's been a wild ride. See you on December 10.

“We are ALL Ring of Honor strong.”

– Jonathan Gresham after winning the ROH Pure Championship

#ring of honor #roh #aew #tony khan #pro wrestling #roh supercard of honor #roh death before dishonor #roh final battle #chris jericho #bandido #dalton castle #jay lethal #samoa joe #jonathan gresham #rok-c #quinn mckay #the foundation #vlnce unlmtd #eli isom

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screechthemighty · 2 years

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So this is actually one part of a longer fic that I wanted to get done during April, for the reason that the Knight System is autistic and I don’t make the rules, but my time management is bad and the fic is not done. But I still want to post something, so I decided to post the first chunk now and then rest whenever it’s finished, and combine the two halves on AO3. I probably should’ve posted the sub-parts as I finished them but ah, well, hindsight 20/20 and all that.

(Also thanks to parhelics for suggesting Content for this! It was supremely helpful.)

CW for Marc Spector having internalized ableism and refusing to take care of himself, along with mentions of disordered eating. Also this is Ambiguously Post-Show, but there’s no real major recent spoilers. That’s in part 2.

i. hyperfocus

“Carries a lot of tension, doesn’t he?”

Layla was still getting used to that part. Not the switch in voices, in body languages, in almost everything, but the way he talked about it so casually. Steven was always more open about it than Marc. “What makes you say that?” she asked.

“Neck only hurts this bad when he’s been out for a while.” Steven grimaced as he tried to stretch out the muscles. “Jaw, too...ow.”

That did sound like Marc. Steven had looser shoulders (sometimes to the point of slouching). Looser...everything. Layla had always known how intense Marc could be, but it wasn’t until Steven came along that she realized how intense. He was energy under pressure. Steven...

Steven was that same energy being released slowly, mostly carefully. There was the odd flinch or wince or moment of jumpiness, but even the gestures she’d once found random had logic to them. He fiddled with the buttons on his coat’s cuffs as he read. It seemed to help him focus. “He doing all right?” Steven asked. “He doesn’t tell me much about...him personally.”

Funny, he doesn’t tell me much either. Layla bit her tongue. That was one of the boundaries they’d set up. Whatever was going on with her and Marc stayed between them. No dragging Steven into it “He’s had a lot on his plate,” Layla said. “He’s the kind of guy who forgets to eat when he’s got the scent.”

“Guess we do have something in common ‘sides the body.” Steven gestured towards his phone. “Why d’you think I’ve been setting off alarms all day? Ah, shit...” He quickly cancelled one of the alarms and got up, making a move for the bag of communal gas station snacks. “Learned my lesson after the first time I almost passed out.”

“Passed out...what were you doing?!”

“Oh, uhm.” Steven grinned sheepishly as he opened a bag of dried fruit. “Someone at work kept bugging me to read one of those conspiracy theory books about the pyramids. Spent a week debunking the bloody thing. Got deep into it, forgot to eat a few times. On the plus side, no one bothered me with that kind of thing after that.” He shrugged, ate a few more pieces of fruit. Then he suddenly got up and started fiddling with Marc’s phone. Not his; Marc’s.

“What are you...?”

“Helping both of us.” Steven finished whatever it was he was doing before putting it away and grabbing a bottle of water. “If he gets annoyed, you can blame me. What’s he going to do? Punch me in the face? Trust me, that’ll backfire on him.”

Layla almost checked the phone, but decided to leave it alone for now. She'd find out eventually.

Eventually ended up being a few hours. Marc came back when it became clear that Steven knew nothing about car repair, and Layla needed an extra set of hands. Marc threw himself into it as if fixing the car would solve all their other problems. It was an involved enough problem that even Layla almost forgot how late it was getting.

But Steven hadn't.

Marc's phone started buzzing. It only made his shoulders tense more. He barely pulled himself away long enough to check the phone and sighed heavily. "Great. Now he thinks he's funny."

"Who?"

Marc showed her the phone. There was an alarm going off, labeled with, "Eat something! :) -Steven"

Well, that explained earlier. "He's right, though. We're getting nowhere with this." Layla had to intercept him to stop him from going back to the car. "C'mon. You'll work better after a meal."

Marc tensed. It was only then that Layla noticed she'd rested her hand on his chest. Even though they were trying to work things out, they hadn’t quite reached that level of touch again. She cleared her throat and moved her hand away. "Relax your jaw while you're at it. Steven said it’s painful."

She caught a glimpse of Marc stretching out his jaw as she walked away, frowning as if he was only now noticing how stiff it was.

I guess you really can get used to anything.

ii. low spoons/executive dysfunction

In a lot of ways, Marc reminded her of a cat. Independent. Liked to do things himself, his own way. She’d found that endearing when they first got married. She’d spent just enough time around clingy guys to appreciate someone with initiative. That and she’d been more idealistic, a bit more inclined to see Marc swooping in to take over tasks—and usually doing a good job—as a bit romantic.

That was before it started feeling like blind stubbornness. Like he was shutting her out. There was a lot on his plate with being Khoshnu’s avatar, she knew. She wouldn’t be able to help with all of it, but some of it, maybe. If he’d just let her instead of burning the candle at both ends.

“Hey.”

Marc was sitting at the table, face in his hands, the exhausted tension in his shoulders worse than usual. Steven wasn’t going to be happy when he showed back up. “Are you okay?” Layla asked.

“Fine.”

That was definitely a lie. There were papers scattered on the table and she could see his stuff on the bed. Bag half unpacked. She went to put some of his things away, but...

“No, no, don’t do that, it’s fine. You’ve been driving us all day. Don’t...” He finally looked up. His eyes were bloodshot. “Please, just...don’t worry about it, let me do this.”

She wanted to push back. It wasn’t a problem, it would take five minutes for her, but he was running on empty. It wasn’t going to get done. He’d just feel worse if it didn’t.

But something in her just couldn’t do it. She was sick of fighting with him.

“...okay,” Layla said.

The bag didn’t get unpacked. She wasn’t sure he finished gong over the maps, either. It almost wasn’t a shock to her that Steven was the one making breakfast the next morning.

Of course, none of this had been easy for him, either. He’d gone from working at a museum gift shop to dealing with gods and finding out he shared a body with someone else. He’d been holding up okay, but Layla was still waiting for the other shoe to drop with him.

It didn’t. Not quite, anyway.

Even when he was sitting at the same table with the same pose, she couldn’t mistake the two of them. Where Marc was tense and still, Steven was in near-constant motion: knee jiggling, hands slowly rubbing his eyes. “You okay?” Layla asked.

“Uh.” Steven glanced up. “Gonna be honest. Hit a bit of a wall. Trying to figure out what I’m capable of doing before I’ve got to quit. Which...” He laughed. “...think that’s not helping, having to think about it. Funny, innit?” He laughed nervously. “Hell.”

Layla carefully sat near him. “Is there anything...I can do?” she asked carefully. She expected him to turn her down. He might not have been as bad as Marc, but Steven was the kind of guy who didn’t like inconveniencing people. She was so sure...

“Actually, uhm...if you want to take a stab at these, maybe I can...double-check it later? This is...” He nudged the photocopies towards her. “...the one that’s going to kill me first, I think.”

“Okay.” Layla carefully took the papers, stopping to squeeze his hand. “I’ve got it. What else is there?”

“Uhm.” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we get takeaway?”

“Yeah, we can do that.”

“Okay, I’m going to...” His lips moved like he was counting. “...shower? I’m going to shower.” He still hesitated when he stood, like he was afraid he’d forgotten something, before saying, “Right!” and leaving.

She was a little surprised it had been that easy.

When Steven came back, his restless energy seemed to have settled. He still seemed a bit too scatterbrained to really check at the papers she’d worked on, but he still looked at them, fingers tracing over the hieroglyphs, then her letters underneath. “You must’ve gotten a few penmanship awards in school, huh?” he said.

It was one of the stranger compliments she’d ever been given, but...still. She appreciated it.

iii. communication

Marc had gone quiet before, more than once. They’d spend ages on the road, working until they couldn’t keep their eyes open, and at some point he’d just stop talking. Not on purpose, not as far as she could tell. Speaking took energy he didn’t have.

Which wasn’t to say they didn’t talk. They’d figured out other ways he could communicate until his mind unstuck. He could respond to questions—yes or no was easiest, squeezing her shoulder or hand. Sometimes he could tap out short answers into her wrist in Morse code. Sometimes they didn’t even need that. Some things he could say without any kind of words. Hand on her elbow, forehead resting against her shoulder blade. I love you. I’m here.

He didn’t do that anymore.

The verbal silence still wasn’t on purpose. But the rest of it...what else was she supposed to think? There was no more hand in hers, no more taps or squeezes. He wouldn’t even look at her most of the time. He closed himself off until either his voice came back or Steven slipped out. And the latter was happening more and more lately.

Layla bit back her frustration. She tried to, anyway. Steven’s presence helped keep it suppressed, because she really wasn’t going to drag him into this. Wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it. And when he wasn’t being a deterrent, he made for a good distraction. He didn’t go quiet, not like Marc. He seemed to talk more when he was stressed, like steam coming out of a pressure valve. Sometimes he paced around; sometimes he’d sit next to her, his knee bumping against hers as he bounced his leg.

“Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?” he said one evening. “I’ll shut up if you...”

“No, no, you don’t have to shut up. It’s okay.” Layla carefully took his hand. “It’s okay, really.”

Yes, the conversation was largely one-sided, but she didn’t care. Someone was talking to her. Acknowledging that she was there instead of shutting her out.

She felt guilty, turning to Steven for that instead of telling Marc what was wrong. But she didn’t see any other way, either. It was like her husband was a brick wall. An old rock in the middle of the desert.

How was she supposed to reach him if he didn’t want to be reached?

#my writing #my fanfic #moon knight #this fic doesn't have a title yet but I'll think of something eventually #please tell me why the urge to name it after They Might Be Giants lyrics is there...#anyways!!! will try to get the rest out ASAP

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heartstopsbeating · 2 years

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I’m not happy.

No, this post isn’t about depression―I mean, I’m a teenager, there’s a certain amount of depression involved in my life anyway, but that’s not what this is.

This is about my dad.

Usually, I get along with him perfectly. I’m definitely my father’s daughter, in almost every aspect―even down to our music taste (he’s the reason I got into rock/metal and never looked back). We don’t always like the same bands (i.e. I’m a Skillet fan and he loathes those guys), but for the most part we agree to disagree and all is well.

But recently, that hasn’t been the case. Recently, it’s been much worse.

At the beginning of April, the Trinity of Terror tour came to Chicago, where I live. They played at the Aragon Ballroom in Uptown on the North Side, in the same neighborhood my mother lived in when my parents first met. I found out about this two days before they were scheduled to perform. I worked my ass off cleaning our entire apartment, by myself, to convince my dad to take me and let me see the show―specifically the Black Veil Brides portion, though seeing Motionless in White was great too (we left before Ice Nine Kills came on). Somehow, incredibly, we made it, and I had the time of my life. It was the first Black Veil Brides―the first real rock concert, really―I’d ever been to, and I loved it.

Dad was less than impressed; he’s not a Black Veil Brides fan, citing that though he likes Jake and Jinxx’s guitar work and Andy’s voice in general, there’s something about them that he just...can’t get into. And that’s fine, I respect that; he took me to the concert just because I wanted to go and because it was important to me, not because he had any particular interest in the bands themselves.

But ever since, every time I’ve brought up Black Veil in his presence (which is often, since he works from home, I wear my BVB shirt at least twice a week and sometimes more, and I’m constantly talking about them), he’s been on edge or dismisses me, and them, out of hand.

I can’t figure out why. But that’s not all. I found out about two weeks ago now that BVB is on the lineup of a three-day Rock Fest in Wisconsin in July. The festival runs July 14-16, and a lot of the bands I like will be playing―including Disturbed, who have long been a favorite and are one of the headlining bands for this festival. Naturally, I begged Dad to let me go, even if it does mean a two-hour drive to get there. I even wrote a whole-ass two-page argument as to how we could do it as cheaply as possible.

He said no.

I was devastated, naturally, and I haven’t stopped praying to whatever gods may be listening that by some miracle he’ll change his mind while there’s still time. But in all honesty, I kind of figured that would be his answer; I’m still resentful about it, since I think his reasons for saying no are kind of stupid, but in hindsight I’m not exactly surprised either. But that...fractured something, I think, because every comment he’s made about BVB and concerts since has been sharp, rude, or otherwise offending.

I don’t think he’s trying to be offensive, but...well, take earlier tonight as an example. We were at my little sister’s school book fair (remember when those were a thing?) and while I had found a couple that looked interesting, they were all $8 or more, which wouldn’t have been a problem if I wasn’t trying to save up money for band merch. When I pointed this out, Dad looked at me in confusion; he didn’t realize what “band merch” meant. I explained that I meant like posters and CDs and T-shirts and stuff―and mentioned that sometimes it was things that I could get signed. He laughed―scoffed, really―and said, “What, you really think you’re actually going to meet them someday?”

Yeah. He said that. And I was instantly crushed. Because the way he said it, the tone of disbelief in his voice, as if he thought it was stupid to even hope...well, it made me begin to feel like it’s stupid to even hope that one day I’ll get a chance to meet the men that saved my life, even if it’s only for five minutes to get an autograph and a picture.

And then he told me that he’d only ever met the bands he liked once, by accident, when Queensryche stopped into a music store for some reason or another before a show in Chicago. And then had the audacity to tell me not to get upset.

Naturally, I was upset. I’m a teenager, so hormones running amok already don’t help my capacity to deal with emotions (and most situations), and the way he just dismissed that hope of mine like it was nothing more than the foolish delusions of a teenage fangirl? That hurt. A lot. So I kept twisting away when he tried to touch my shoulder, or repeat “don’t get upset” in my ear, crossing my arms and trying not to cry. I sulked in the backseat the whole way home, and when my sister asked me a question that I failed to answer because I didn’t want to snap at her and get yelled at, Dad was short with me. In effect, he said something along the lines of, “If you’re going to brood and get pissy every time I mention Black Veil Brides or concerts or whatever, I won’t let you go to any, ever.”

And that made me cry.

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong. Usually my dad and I are on the same wavelength―a lot of my social anxiety and lack of toleration for People comes from him, as do my tendencies to be a loner in a group of friends―but lately every time he opens his mouth something comes out of it that hurts me.

And I don’t want to talk to him about it. I’m terrible at talking about personal things, and I’m afraid if I try and talk to him about this he’ll just dismiss it again and/or I’ll end up in tears, neither of which are favorable options. I don’t know what to do. I hate feeling like this, and I want my dad back...but how do I fix something when I don’t even know what’s broken?

If anybody has any advice...it would be greatly appreciated.

#long post #sorry i just #needed to rant #and i really do need advice #if anybody can help please comment or message me #personal

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thewritewolf · 3 years

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Adventure to the Heart Chapter 1: AU

Summary: When the miracle box is discovered by Alya, Marinette's lies to cover it up. But one thing leads to another and now her little lie has turned into a major quest. With Adrien joining their party, there's no backing out now.Who knows? It could be that this quest is just what the two of them needed to get closer than ever...

Hello and welcome to the start of my Adrienette April story - Adventure to the Heart, a fun and light-hearted story with a dungeons and dragons campaign boiling in the background. I won't be getting into deep detail with their characters, but I imagine them playing 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons. Most chapters will generally be pretty short (300 to 800 words) since I was still getting used to my new hours when I wrote most of this and didn't have a lot of time for writing.

In any case, I hope you'll enjoy this short, sweet tale for the month!

First | Previous | Next | Last

@adrinetteapril

Read on Ao3

Marinette was now the Guardian of the miracle box.

It was a thought that would come to her in the middle of the night and cause her to bolt upright, unable to sleep. Paranoia started weighing in on her every thought. She’d be only half paying attention to her friends while they talked at school, wanting nothing more than to run home and make sure that the miracle box was still safely tucked away wherever she’d happened to have hidden it last.

Because she hadn’t decided on the best way to keep it safe just yet. Master Fu had the old timey music thing, but while an old Chinese man might be able to deflect suspicion with a piece like that, she definitely could not. It stuck out like a sore thumb in her room. That was the first change she’d made in its protection, and it didn’t bode well that it wasn’t replaced with anything yet.

She’d been working on another of her trap boxes to hold it, disguised as something that would blend in much better with her room, but for now its hiding spot moved constantly. One day it was in her closet, the next under her bed, then in her crafting supplies. On and on it went, for weeks. Which, in hindsight, wasn’t a good idea. Because odds were that a day would come when someone would happen to arrive when it was between hiding spots.

A day like today.

“Uh… girl, what’s that?”

Marinette’s heart sank when she followed Alya’s eyes to the miracle box, pitifully poking out from underneath a pile of yarn. She opened her mouth to make up some sort of justification, but all that came out was a quiet, high-pitched creaking noise.

“Ohhh, wait. I get it.”

Marinette’s heart leapt out of her chest. Had she really figured it out already?! Her mind raced, trying to figure out when Alya could have possibly seen the miracle box before - at least, when she was in her right mind.

Alya’s hands rested on her shoulders and she looked Marinette in the eye. “That’s a dice box, isn’t it?”

Everything skidded to a halt. “Wuh?”

“A dice box, for Dungeons and Dragons. I figured that sort of game was right up your alley, but I didn’t think you’d try to pick it up on the down-low.” Alya nudged her with her elbow. “Come on, girl! If you had told me, I could’ve had Nino give you a couple pointers. You know how crazy he is for the game.”

“Y-yeah, well uh, I didn’t want to… bother him too much, you know?” Marinette laughed nervously. “And besides, it was supposed to be a big secret.”

“Secret?” Her eyebrows scrunched up. “That’s isn’t like you at all, girl. Well, unless it has something to do with Adrien or…” Brown eyes widened in realization. “...if you’re planning a surprise.”

“R-right, so… don’t say anything to anyone! You don’t want to, um… spoil it.”

Alya winked. “I gotchu, girl. But between the best of gal pals…” Alya leaned in conspiratorially. “...When are you planning on going public? ‘Cuz I could start sending out feelers right now to see who would be down for a Dupain-Cheng original campaign.”

“Oh, I don’t know, it's still in the early stages,” Marinette said, entirely truthfully. After all, she hadn’t so much as given it a single thought or even looked at the core rulebook. It was about as early as a stage could be.

“Still! You’ll want to know the players you’re dealing with - personalities, how many of them.” Alya pulled out her phone and began typing at a frantic pace. “Trust me, I hear about from Nino all the time.”

Marinette craned her neck to peer at Alya’s phone. “Who are you texting?”

“Nino first off. Then he can ask a couple people, and I’ll send out an invite to our girl squad. And then we’ll see who else we can come up with.” Alya grinned at her. “This is going to be a great campaign, I can already feel it!”

“Yeah… great.” Marinette put as much enthusiasm into her voice as she could, while the gears in her head began to turn.

-----------------

Later that night, Marinette was sitting in the living room with her mom and a notebook. If she backed out of this now, then it would look suspicious and Alya might rethink her initial impression of the miracle box. No, if she wanted to keep her secret safe, she’d have to go along with this.

Which meant that she would need a campaign - a story, a setting, a plot. She hadn’t tried her hand at writing before and that inexperience was becoming frustratingly obvious as time passed. Half a dozen ideas had been scrapped within the first half of her mother’s Chinese period dramas.

Instead of spending the next thirty minutes racking her head for ideas, she tossed the notebook to the ground and glared at the television… only to fall into a world of plotting nobles in the imperial palace.

With a smirk spreading across her face, Marinette quickly scooped up her notebook and got to writing.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Alya Cesaire #AdrinetteApril2021 #ml fanfiction #my writing #Adventure to the Heart

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nanabbi · 4 years

Note

Hello! I love zisashi angst and I have at least 70 fics to rec! ... Would you like me to recommend them? 👀 I've been colecting them for over a year now

So, this person did DM me the recs but they didn’t want to be mentioned by name, so I’ll just thank them a lot for sharing their suggestions. They had also placed sweet little notes for all of them, I’ll include them, but I hold no authority of them. I’ll add some of my own insight if I have any.

Here is the list for me and all of you to check them out:

don't scream until the earth crumbles by rise_beyond_the_graveyard (serenlyall)

3K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Angst for Hizashi and Shouta. Mentions of torture, be careful with the tags]

If At First You Don't Succeed... by MarziPanda95

26K/Completed- !!! It Is completed! Yay, I’ll definitely read it at first chance. It is a Groundhog Day fic. [Their Note: A personal favorite that was completed very recently. Mentions of torture (mental and corporal) the tension in this fic is amazing! And its really well written]

Without You I Can't Breathe by morbidcorvids

2K/Oneshot- Major Character Death. Hizashi basically dies in Aizawa’s arms from what I saw. [Their Note: This one is... So good but omg it made me so sad ;;;; a great piece of angst!! Mind the tags before breaking your heart].

Hindsight Is 20/20 by Nartothelar

2K/Oneshot- Wait there’s fics of this AU!? Omg! I was wondering where I could get more insight about it and this fic is part of a series. Now tho 👀 [Their Note: Part of nartothelar's awesome mafia au! I love the angst in this one, and even comes with art! 💕💞💖💓 love it so much]

Resignation by OnAir

28K/Completed- [Their Note: THIS IS OMG SJDVBDD MY FAVE, I'VE READ IT LIKE 8383737721 TIMES, its a must! Read! Of! Hizashi! Angst! Pleaaaase! Do yourself a favor and read this masterpiece]

[More under Read More, because our provider was very generous with their suggestions]

Patchwork Family by bravobeavo

3K/Oneshot- [Their Note: This one is so cute! Hizashi angst with erasermic family fluff to warm your heart! Shinsou and Eri are so worried for their dad in this one 💕]

Consumption of the Heart and Lungs by YamiHeart

4K/Oneshot- [Their Note: I think you will like this one... Its a hanahaki!!!! And in japan with ninjas and samurais 💕💞💖 and an omg very good amazingly written hanahaki. It is part of a series though! So if you fall in love with it you can read the next one!]

White Chrysanthemums by LipstickVenom

9K/Oneshot- I see Major Character Death warning and Hurt no Comfort. I’ll approach with caution [Their Note: Ok hear me out, this one hurts! A lot, but its oh so amazing💕 fully recommend it!]

Paper Hearts by Xen_The_Protogen

2K/Oneshot- Major Character Death Warning [ Their Note: Super fun timeline to follow! Well... Not fun, this fic made me cry, but I loved how the story was told! Please, its a must read!]

Soul Bound by Ibelieveinahappilyeverafter

7K/Oneshot- It is written by Andy. I trust it. [Their Note: One of the best soulmate fanfiction out there, its not fully angst, but it is there in some parts! (USJ I see ya) this one is more like Hizashi and Shouta angst though].

you are my sunshine by chimera (emptyheadspace)

5K/Completed- Ha. Ha. I see the title and the MCD Warning... Someone here is not afraid of that warning [Their Note: I mean, the title already tells you that this sadder than mufasa's death. 5+1 type of fic (I love the format so I loved this one even more!)]

I'm Sorry, I'm Not Sorry by Tabs

1K/Oneshot- It does say happy ending tho [Their Note: And yis.... Short and sad, read it!]

Shout & Mute by ill go with that then (Linelenagain)

9K/Oneshot- Body swap, you have my curiosity and attention [Their Note: Ok this one is not angst angst, but is more like Aizawa finally realizing the hardships that Hizashi must have (and is going through) because of his quirk thanks to a bodyswap! :D (love this one aye)]

A Gift of Sunshine by Ibelieveinahappilyeverafter

35K/Completed- It’s Andy again! Hi sir, I’m a fan. The concept seems interesting [Their Note: Ok so... In this fic Hizashi is a sword and Aizawa attends UA with him (it? Lol) well, he is more like a soul in a sword, not the swor- meh, just read it. It has some heave angst in some chapters! And its not that long! Reallyyyy good fic]

More Than Just a Smile by ravyn_sinclair

7K/Oneshot- -heavy breathing- I see BAMF Hizashi in the tags. BAMF HIZASHI! [Their Note:This is a fic of Hizashi being underestimated and showing everyone that he has some brains/ knows how to be a hero. There is angst by the end of the fic~ this piece of writing is just- a masterpiece. Kudos to the writer!]

Improbable Botany 101 by Tierfal

46K/Complete- [Their Note: OKAY! A HANAHAKI THAT IS JUST 💕💞💖 its longish? Not that much, you'll finish it in an hour or so, but is just sooooo gooooooood! Amazing hanahaki angst! I love how they show us the feelings and thoughts of the characters].

6:15 by dadzawa_of_1a

3K/Oneshot- [Their Note: So great! I loved this one! And its very well written! Its a quick read so please just go go go go!].

I thought we'd last forever by orphan_account

1K/Oneshot- MCD Warning [Their Note: Great fic my dear! And very sad... Mind the tags :'"c]

Ice It by Say_Jay

3K/Oneshot- Oh! I’ve read this one! It’s so cute. I was looking for it when I was doing the Hizashi whump list, but I hadn’t bookmarked it! Now I have! Gosh I hate losing fics, thanks for bringing it over [Their Note: Its more like... Comfort after getting hurt? But meh, angst anyway sbdbjdbd However, I think that everyone in the erasermic fandom is familiar with this short masterpiece].

Dust in the Wind by d_lynx

Sleep and Sweet Tea by d_lynx

2K/Series- [Their Note: Ok this one is just pure angst. A very short concentrated bomb of angst. It does have a happy continuation though! So you can go and check that].

Guillotine by existentialrat

4K/Ongoing- !!! 👀 Do I have anything to do with the origin of this fic? I see the author’s note there. I’ll wait~ [Their Note: Hizashi is with hanahaki! Ohnooo! Dnjdbdj well well, this one is not finished, but there is one chapter left so... You can choose to either wait or just start reading it. Oboro lives in this one though!]

Honest with You by astrange_one

8K/Completed- [Their Note: Hizashi gets insecure after having an encounter with his past foster parents :c babyyyyy. He suffers so much mentally speaking in this one]

Needle-thin Tightrope by Dramaticdragon

2K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Another insecure Hizashi! This one is short but ohhh amazing!]

Lost and Found by TheWiseMansFear

16K/Ongoing- Last Update: April 2020 [Their Note: Hizashi is tortured but refuses to tell why! Its not finished! And the updates are slow, but is very good, read under your own risk].

Day 3: Unexpected/Revelation by presentedmic

2K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Great fic! Shouta tells Shinsou about the time he almost lost Hizashi! Cutecutecute and angsty!]

Desolate by maplebee

<1K/Oneshot- MCD [Their Note: A short very angsty fic... Almost made me cry, this one did].

With You by maplebee

<1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Short and sad as well, this author is great with making you feel stuff in less than 1k].

Accidentally Forever by Arkham_Cat

1K/Oneshot- I skimmed through it, it seems mild with no Mature content [Their Note: Short Omegaverse, shows how Shouta accidentally marked Hizashi. Its angst? But not very heavy angst, soft angst? Dunno. And is short as well! So I would recommend it if u want a quick read!].

Sunshine Boy by MarziPanda95

40K/Completed- MarziPanda again! Hmmm 👀 [Their Note: We all know that Marzipanda95 is a goddess of Hizashi Angst, and this fic is one of her greatest masterpieces! Please! This is a must read!!! Recently completed].

Even As I'm Busted And Broken by Tippytap

<1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Ok... Short but sad, Hizashi is finally overwhelmed. Mind the tags please]

(Don't Ever) Stop Talking by WritingStarsIntoConstellations

<1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Aizawa messes up by using his quirk on Hizashi! They are teens in this one~]

Kintsugi (Broken & Fixed) by DarklingMoon

12K/Completed- [Their Note: Another 5+1 cause god knows I love them so much! Its a great fic filled with angssttttttt... Read it lol]

Lemon Boy by modernmint

<1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Short! Focuses on the phobia that Hizashi has with bugs and the relationship of the boys! They are teens in here].

Five Times Present Mic Apologized (And One Time He Didn't Have To) by BurningTheSapphires (MyStShSh)

5K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Features villain present mic! Is not mostly angst but it has...] Good ending? I hope.

Sixty Seven by AcroArdent

1K/Oneshot- MCD [Their Note: This is just short erasermic angst. Featuring villain aizawa!]

Waiting For You to Call My Name by Purplemerald

2K/Oneshot- [Their Note: I mean, you tell me "Hizashi angst" and I think of this fic, short, painful, a must read].

Snapshot by LipstickVenom

5K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Insecure of his body image Hizashi :c ]

Five Stages of Grief by NeitherDeadnorAlive

3K/Ongoing- I saw no MCD warning. [Their Note: Hizashi is trapped with some civilians under loads of rubble! Rescate mission ensues! And huh... Its not finished, but its some great angst thooo]

Musical Vibrations by Rose_Cat

1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Hizashi gets deafened :c ]

Letting Go by Zombieisms

<1K/Oneshot- MCD [Their Note: Hizashi is comatose].

Dangerous by AutisticWriter

1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Little kid shinsou and hizashi bonding over their time at the orphanage].

One Last Time by CoolPandr

<1K/Oneshot- MCD [Their Note: Aizawa Mourning our sunshine boy :c short and painful]

You're Late! by AnotherWeirdoHere

<1K/Oneshot- MCD. I didn’t even read it but the title and the summary alone pained enough of a picture to make me choke. These concepts hit me for some reason [Their Note: Short angst! Super cute ending].

Too Loud and Too Much by doctornemesis

2K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Insecure teen hizashi :c someone give this boy a hug].

Just a Push by Say_Jay

5K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Aizawa injures Hizashi while training!]

Everything I Wanted by toshiwoshi

4K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Hizashi gets misuranderstood and gets his heart broken :c happy ending tho]

Memories by My_Furnace_Has_Wings

2K/Oneshot- MCD Omg... [Their Note: Ok this is erasermic family angst... Suuuuper sad, this author is great.]

Actions Speak Louder than Words by My_Furnace_Has_Wings

<1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Teen erasermic confession with angst! Really good ^^]

Mr loverman by popweezle

1K/Oneshot- Angst with a freaking Happy Ending tag. Finally I am getting super depressed with these scenarios I am reading here. Good God. [Their Note: Another comatose Hizashi~]

first love / late spring by pgsaihara

1K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Erasermic angst, insecure Aizawa makes Hizashi upset :c ]

Needle-thin Tightrope by Dramaticdragon

2K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Another insecure about his volume hizashi :c poor baby but I kinda get him].

Small Hiding places by IsTheMedia

2K/Oneshot- Part of Villain!Mic [Their Note: Part of villain Hizashi series! But can be read alone... Implied child abuse, mind the tags].

(dis)trust by Cat_Tac

4K/Oneshot- TW: Sexual assault (doesn’t get far, but it is the basis of the plot). Mentioned this one in previous ask, but let’s put it in this huge pile too [Their Note: MIND THE TAGS PLEASE, this can be triggering. Hizashi is assaulted at work and feels guilty].

Be grateful, hero by SaltywithSarcasm

2K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Hizashi is kidnapped and tortured]

Tenacity by tiniest_hands_in_all_the_land

23K/Oneshot- [Their Note: Ok so... This is more Aizawa centric? But there is some amazing hizashi angst at the end! (Another 5+1 fic!)]

Déjà vu by douchegrayson

9K/Completed- Mentioned this one before too. I really love its concept so much [Their Note: Everyone forgets hizashi thanks to a quirk! Our poor boy is desolated :c ]

Stay With Me by MintIceTea

2K/Completed- [Their Note: Erasermic angst and fluff!]

Engagement by fecklessphilanderer

8K/Completed- [Their Note: Hizashi falls off a building, fluffy ending!]

Note: In all of these, make sure to read the tags please, in case there are any themes you’re uncomfortable with. I have not yet read most of these, so once more you’re gonna have to look out for yourselves. 🙏

#ask #Anonymous #erasermic #fic recs #nananswers #Jesus christ it is no wonder Ive not seen all this angst #I turn off the Major Character Death warning to exlude them #I am so sad #thank you for all your suggestions tho! Me and I am sure more people appreciate them

260 notes · View notes

thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

Text

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes.

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

#vmin #jimin #taehyung #a poem for small things post series #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #so many sweet vmin things #you really came through with the cute submissions #dear class of 2020 #bts seasons greetings #BTS bon voyage 3

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erekiosuncreativeideas · 3 years

Text

Being Human - Chapter 23

<= Chapter 22

Summary : Snatcher is taken to a familiar room of the manor. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/74145501

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(Trigger warning for this chapter : emotional abuse and creepy situation)

HEEEEEEY NEW CHAPTER

SO. Let me put some dates here.

Sunday 4th of April 2021 : chapter 24 will be posted. Thursday 8th of April 2021 : chapter 25 (last chapter) will be posted.

Why do I wait a few days to post the last chapters ? Because I want to draw for them, and, if possible, make as many drawings I can. Hopefully, you'll like this chapter and the last two as well ! Thank you for remaining so passionate about this story since its beginning, it means a lot to me !

The “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings !

Uh if you’re interested, I post my progress on my chapters on Hatty Fan Time (the AHIT Discord server I’m moderating with two friends), so if you wanna join, go ahead !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 23 : “I can do this, I can… I will do this.”

-“There we are,” sing-sang the Queen, opening the door leading to the nursery. To Snatcher’s horror, while the room was still relatively damaged, mostly with claw marks on the walls, it remained recognizable. The sight was enough to give him flashbacks of the time they had commissioned this room, of the time they had entered it the first time after it was completed- The former ghost could remember it like it was yesterday: the couple had been so happy, staying in the room for a good hour, imagining how their child would be like, how they wanted to give them as much love as possible… But none of that ever happened.

Instead, the Subcon Freezing had happened, ruining all hope for Snatcher to ever have kids, ruining his dreams of having a family with the woman he loved so, so much.

And now, he was back in that cursed room, a room that was reminding him of what could have been, had things been different.

Snatcher had no choice but to rely on Vanessa so he wouldn’t put any weight on his broken ankle. No need to say this was frustrating… And extremely frightening, having to depend on the one who had mercilessly killed you. The former ghost knew he had no choice anyway and he could do nothing but clench his teeth, hoping nothing would happen. With a swift gesture, the Queen grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him inside, soon closing the door behind them. The sudden movement made him cry out in pain as it forced his body to put weight on his injured ankle. It didn’t take long for Vanessa to notice what had happened and she quickly helped him to straighten, a sickening smile painted on her face.

-“There, there,” she cooed: “It’s okay. You know what you need ?” she then asked, completely out of the blue. A look of fear crossed his features as he heard her words. Oh, this couldn’t be good, now, could it…? The Queen remained silent after her own question and her face grew irritated, which were pretty good indicators that she was waiting for an answer from him. With this realization, the child quickly realized he had to give her a sign, anything- and so, unable to speak, he just shook his head, his whole body trembling from the pain, the fear and the cold.

Seeming satisfied with Snatcher’s reply, even if non-vocal, she smiled again and quickly picked him up without any warning. Naturally, out of surprise, the former ghost gasped and started to struggle. How could he not, when his own murderer was holding him in her arms, without any difficulty? However, it didn’t take much to convince him otherwise: Vanessa’s warning glare and the pain in his ankle from the movements were more than enough.

-“Now, now,” she sermonized him, all while carrying him to the crib. As soon as she got them both closer, he guessed her intents, and his face paled up. God, this nightmare was just becoming even worse- she was going to put him into the crib where their child should have been hundreds of years ago, should they have been born.

This was so disturbing, so creepy-…! But, apparently, Vanessa wasn’t seeing anything wrong with this. She really was taking him for a child, a child she had to care for.

This was sickening.

-“W-wait!” he interrupted her just as she was about to lower him into the pink crib, and she gave him both a confused and annoyed look.

-“What’s the matter?” she asked back, narrowing her eyes and furrowing her brow. Oh, this wasn’t good.

-“I’m… I’m too old to be in a cradle,” he tried, hoping this would be enough, though he couldn’t help but giggle nervously, his eyes looking away in fear they’d see anger on the Queen’s face, maybe worse. She stared at him for a moment… And soon enough, a light laughter left her lips, all trace of annoyance gone from her face, as if those had never been there in the first place.

-“Oh ho ho,” she took a deep breath as she finished laughing, sighing. Snatcher… Didn’t like that.

-“W-what…?” he wondered, his voice trembling from uncertainty and dread. Why would she laugh at something like this?

-“Oh, silly one,” she replied, an even more sickening smile painted on her ghostly lips, one that was letting him see her sharp fangs: “You need to rest, and I have the perfect bed for that. Your age doesn’t matter, does it? Cribs are for children, and you are one, don’t you?” she retorted, as if this was oh so very obvious.

Perhaps she had remained too unstable for years to remember cradles were for young infants, or toddlers. Her madness had affected her perception of reality, so much that she couldn’t see the problem here- or maybe she did, though in that case, why would she care? She had murdered him centuries ago, she wouldn’t feel guilty about forcing a kid into a crib!

And, well, it wasn’t like he could struggle more, seeing his injured ankle. After all, not only did this hurt, but this was also a very good warning of what could happen to him should he resist more. All of his instincts were crystal clear: “wait for the right opportunity”, they instructed him. And so, as the Queen lowered him into the cradle, Snatcher did his best not to cringe at the thought and didn’t resist. Once done, Vanessa stepped back and looked at him with a twisted fondness, one that made Snatcher want to throw up. Though he knew better and stayed still and silent.

-“Aaaw, look at you!” the Queen cooed, as if this was the cutest thing she had even seen in years- which was probably the case, in hindsight: “See, you fit just right!” At this remark, the young Prince examined the crib. Yeah, sure, he could fit while sitting- but lying down? This was another story. With the body of a twelve years old kid, or around that age, it was obvious this was the worst choice ever for a bed.

Although… Although this was much, much better than being put in Vanessa’s, he just realized. A chill ran down his spine at the thought. Yeah… Yeah, the cradle wasn’t so bad in comparison.

Snatcher’s thoughts were interrupted as he heard a clap of hands next to him- and unsurprisingly, it was her.

-“Good!” she spoke again: “Now that you’re ready to rest, I’ll bake some cookies!” She started to walk to the door and the former shade felt relieved at the idea of her leaving him alone- but just before exiting the room, she stopped and turned to him, a knowing smile on her lips:

-“Stay in the bed and sleep, alright?” she told him, and Snatcher had no trouble to detect that this was not a suggestion: “I don’t want anyone running around here. Otherwise, there will be consequence. Have I made myself clear… Uh…” she stopped for a moment, thinking, before tilting her head to the side: “Wait, what is your name? I don’t think I asked you before, did I?”

Oh. Oh crap. He obviously couldn’t give her his old name, this was the worst possible thing to do- but what other name could he use? Obviously, if he took too much time to decide, she would know… And yet, no words could leave his mouth.

Snatcher was simply paralyzed. At no time he had expected her to ask about his name- but how could he not think of anything like this?

-“Well?” she urged him, getting suspicious. Oh no, oh no, he had to find something, quick…!

-“Lu...” he tried, hoping he’d find a name close to his old one, something that would easily evoke close forms of the name “Lukas”, he lacked too much time to think more. But nothing was coming in his mind: “Lu…!”

The Queen frowned, confused.

-“Lulu?” she repeated, as a confirmation she had understood. Instantly, a wave of relief washed over him, though he did his best to hide it as much as he could.

-“Y-yes,” he nodded weakly, with a trembling smile: “That’s… That’s my name, yes,” he lied, trying so hard to keep his “happy mask” on. As a response, Vanessa stared at him, as if she were watching for any sign of lie in his words, in his expression. Snatcher hands were becoming clammy from how dreadful this whole situation was, his heart was beating loud and fast in his chest, he was doing his best to keep his breathing under control, no matter how difficult this was… And, finally…!

-“This is such a cute name!” exclaimed Vanessa with glee, clasping her hands once more: “Well, Lulu. I hope I can trust you, right?” Another warning, one that was even more obvious than the last one. The former ghost forced himself to smile again, despite how insincere it must have looked- but perhaps Vanessa was too unstable to see it, or so he hoped.

-“Of… Of course!” he lied again, with a nod: “I’ll just… Sleep and wait for you to come back,” he assured, hoping this would suffice. And fortunately…

-“Perfect!” her face lightened up, yet Snatcher couldn’t tell if she was fully convinced. In any case, she grabbed the door handle and waved at him affectionately, like a mother would do to her child. This was… Extremely upsetting, given the circumstances. Still, the child merely forced another smile… And let out a huge sigh of relief as the Queen finally left the room.

Gods, this had been much, much more terrorizing than anything he could have potentially imagined.

Doing everything he could to remain silent, the young Prince listened closely to her steps slowly getting away, and waited a few more minutes, just to be sure. When he was sure she was definitely far away from this room, Snatcher tried to straighten up, only to be cut short by the acute pain on his ankle. Oh yeah.

There was this problem too.

The former ghost winced and frowned. What could he do for that? He couldn’t possibly escape with such an injury… Not only would it hurt, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to move discreetly. With Vanessa being in the room under this one… Oh, yes, she would definitely hear him. Then what? It wasn’t like he could miraculously heal that ankle-

However, his body froze as a stroke of genius burst in his mind. Maybe, just, maybe this could work… Frowning and wincing in advance, not really sure if this would succeed… Snatcher moved his hands to his broken ankle and closed his eyes, focusing.

He had learnt healing magic in his past life… Now, it was just a matter of hoping this small and frail body would allow him to use it. And so, the former ghost tried to find the small spark of magic he still had under this form. Breathing in and out, it was like trying to find something that was now hidden in the depth of his mind, something that felt so familiar and yet so foreign.

“Come on…” he urged himself, feeling himself getting closer and closer to that feeling he was trying so hard to find. Healing magic wasn’t as easy as fire one for him, one of the main reasons being that his mother’s family had been gifted with the power of fire. Summoning flames was thus easier for him- healing magic, though? This was a complete new story. While fire had been easy to learn at the time, him being a natural at it, the other types of magic had to be learnt the traditional way, with teachers, a lot of reading and study times, and getting familiarized with the elements you were learning.

Of course, in his situation, Snatcher couldn’t really use any of those things. All he could do was trying to focus… And soon enough, he began to feel tingles at the tips of his fingers. Yes, this is what he had been looking for! A small smile of victory spread on his lips, but he did his best to remain focused. In the meantime, the child could feel his injured ankle becoming number and number to the pain, and maybe… Bones shifting around a bit, though it was more uncomfortable than actually painful. This was working, this was working, he knew it, he knew he could-!

And suddenly, Snatcher felt like he lost all grasp on his magic. Shocked, the former shade opened his eyes, the tingling sensation in his fingertips quickly disappearing as if it had never been there at all. Why? Confusion spread onto his features and he looked at his hands, almost hoping he’d see what went wrong. But everything seemed normal.

And in fact, it was, thinking about it. The fact that he had been able to summon healing magic when he was in a body inexperienced with it… Was already quite an achievement, and it made sense it wouldn’t last, that this would be too unstable for that.

The former ghost tentatively moved his ankle, already wincing in advance in fear of how much it would hurt- but it wasn’t as painful as he had first thought. He slowly and carefully palpated his skin, trying to feel what had changed. Sure, touching it hurt, however… However, he was almost sure that his bones weren’t broken anymore.

He had managed to heal the biggest part of his injury. A long sigh of relief left his lips: things were… Going really well. But Snatcher was far from being over with this, oh, very, very far. He still had to escape this cursed place.

As silently as he could, Snatcher straightened up and hopped over the guardrail of the crib. His feet met the floor with a muffled sound, which was enough to scare him: had Vanessa heard anything? The sudden pressure on his ankle made his face tensed greatly though he managed to contain the urge to whine in pain.

This body was definitely one of a child… But to the former shade, he was sure that his mind had been altered to a degree, and this was not something he liked. He had to find the kids and Moonjumper, making sure they were alive, that he had managed to save them… And have the brats returning him to his adult for- no, his spirit form. Yes, that was what he wanted, and for a moment, he felt confused as to why this hadn’t been the first thing popping in his mind.

What was happening to him…?

The child forced his mind to focus back on reality: this wasn’t the time for questions. Who knew how much time he had before Vanessa decided to check up on him? If he had to try something, without getting caught, this was literally now or never. Waiting was dangerous, especially if his friends needed him- it was really cold outside, freezing even… Would he even get there on time? He was pretty far away, especially on foot…

“No,” he tried to reassure himself: “I can do this, I can… I will do this.”

Determination was now fueling inside of him, almost making him forget the pain in his ankle and how low the temperatures were in the manor. He himself was also on a time limit: his fragile body would become less efficient the colder it would get- Snatcher couldn’t lose any more time.

Slowly, silently, the child moved to the door and slightly opened it. Good, it hadn’t been locked, and he couldn’t hear anything coming closer, whether it was a voice or steps. Another sigh of relief left his lips, and after hesitating a bit… The young Prince took a deep breath and moved forward, entering the hallway with a mix of apprehension, fear, and resolve.

He was going to leave this manor and find his friends again.

This was a promise.

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ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT

I hope you liked this chapter, I can't wait to show you the ending of this fanfiction ! Thank you so much for following me this far, and I hope you'll be there for my next fanfic too ! (I already have an idea of the story, so now it's a matter of making it better and actually writing it).

See you next Sunday !

=> Chapter 24

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meltalks · 4 years

Text

my experience with addy / hiqey

i’ve contemplated posting my history with addy/hiqey for awhile now. my friends have encouraged me to do so, but due to her stance in the rpc i was always far too scared to do so. with all that is coming to light with her recently, not only is a huge weight off my shoulders as far as comfortably roleplaying as my escape, but knowing i’m not alone. my story with addy dates back to about september 2018. i do warn you this will be long, and i’ll try to include enough details to make it make sense while not dragging things on and on. this includes both my personal relationship with addy, as well as my experience with her in groups one where she she was an admin, and groups where i was an admin. as well as i believe we coadmined one together. i’ve put screenshots where i could, but some of this dates back to 2018 and i just don’t have access to those texts/rp accounts anymore.

a huge huge shout out to @bumkeyz for starting this avalanche, and for also supporting me one on one along with all my friends to feel safe enough to come forward. i’ll put all of my story under a read more.

i’m going to start this by saying, my name is mel/melanie. you may have heard of me because back when addy was on rpslayed she wasn’t a big fan of me for awhile. predominantly my group the cape(?) the main isn’t up anymore so i can’t remember the exact @. i’m 21 years old, i will be 22 this month. i am married & i have a 3 year old daughter. this is information i don’t normally tell people i’m married / have a child, because well, i just feel a little judged. not because anything anyone has specifically done or said, but my own anxieties worried that people will think it’s weird to be married with a child and still in twitter rp. but it is important to my story with addy, which is why i’m letting everyone know right off the bat.

i met addy in a group called producers. this group is from september 2018, so i’m not able to access anything right now, but am digging. i played (feel free to clown me) a g-eazy character named pierce. addy played a carlson young who’s name i can’t quite recall, and a gracie abrams named lolly. lolly & pierce became friends first & at some point we exchanged phone numbers. lolly & pierce flirted a lot, pierce was a player yada yada. eventually she ended up getting a different ship on lolly & pushed her carlson young onto pierce. pierce had a different love interest & didn’t end up going for her. this should’ve been the first negative sign/red flag. when pierce didn’t get with her character, she got very short & snarky ic and ooc. i believe both of her characters blocked me ic. even though pierce had made no ic promises to either to not be with someone else. we still maintained some level of friendship, but she was extremely weird about when i mentioned my ship. our friendship ended for a few months because of an incident that started ic between me and another character. the mun who played this character and i had bonded ooc over having been pregnant, we talked somewhat often about her dealings with her pregnancy. so i felt close enough/friendly enough with this mun that when something happened with her character & another character ic i dm’ed her to see if she was ok .long story short it went bad. i texted addy and told her that. i explained that i felt as if this mun & i were close and it was like dm’ing a friend. she held onto the fact that i shouldn’t have messaged her. when i didn’t immediately conform to her thought she kicked me out of the group. i was literally devastated. i loved that group, that character, my ship; all of it. she blocked me. though this story is 2 paragraphs long, it’s minor in the grand scheme of things. after this she smeared me on rpslayed for months until our paths crossed again in a group called glitches/glitch? we decided to squash our beef. this was december 2019.

in december 2019 we became friends again. honestly, i wish we never crossed paths. we got very close right away. she started telling me about a bad friendship she had, with someone we mutually knew from producers who i will not name since it’s not my place to put their name in this, and gained my sympathy. so much so that i ended a friendship with that person based solely on accusations that addy had told me. this is something that i can now realize i did wrong. i literally cussed this person out on the phone, solely based off things addy told me. i didn’t listen to someone who had been my friend for months, who defended me and picked me up when addy was tearing me down on rpslayed. i turned my back because addy convinced me to. she made this person seem awful. and again, i’m not naming them, but they know exactly who they are. and when thy do read this, i’m sorry.

now this is where things get out of hand. addy & i begun an intimate relationship. this is very personal, and i know some may pass judgment. but my husband was cool with it. addy also began talking to my husband, they texted. we had a groupchat. not to get into details about the relationship, but it was romantic. i am going to try and organize my thoughts. into themes.

money

this relationship lasted from about january ish to april romantically. i became addy’s crutch. she began going through personal issues with her family. and i started sending her money. to be frank i don’t remember how it started. i helped her with a job search, supporting her through these tough things that were going on. the money started casually i suppose. it was $10 for lunch. $25 for nails. but then it got worse. i bought her a phone. and slowly she grew more entitled to my money. asking for it. demanding it. guilting me when i didn’t give it. i lied to her and told her i lost my credit card and turned it off, but the guilt i had i told her that i could turn it on when she needed it. in screenshots i will post below she guilted me because i was sick and fell asleep before turning my card on. whether what she’s saying occured is true or not, it was just one example of how she made me feel. at one point she had my credit card on her uber, and charged nearly $400 of ubers on my credit card that i didn’t know about. she claimed it was an accident, because i let her put my card on her account under the agreement that she would turn it off. we had an agreement of what she would pay me back, some things that i got her were gifts and i didn’t want/need back. other things it was always an agreement she would pay me back. however whenever i would mention sending me a payment she had an excuse. one time even guilting me by reminding me how much better i have it than she does. all in all i spent / sent upwards of $2500/$3000 on her. only about $1500/$1800 i wanted back. i never saw a dime back, she never made good on her promises. at some point i gave up on asking.

ETA: as far as the uber situation goes, she did apologize and state that it was never on purpose when i found out that there was nearly $500 in charges. she said she thought she was charging her moms card. this shows a photo of 1 page of a 5 page statement of all the transactions put on my card by her in one month. there are only 6 of these transactions that were me. all of the ubers and venmo were her. i didn’t make her take off my card, which in hindsight was obviously a very bad decision. i just didn’t want to leave her stranded without ways to get home/where she needed to be.

this is her demanding money. this was in the summer. at this point i was so manipulated by her/scared of her/scared of losing her that i didn’t know how to say no. in this instance i deflected with a picture of my child. screen shot.

in the screenshots here, this is where i fell asleep. i was on vacation and got extremely dehydrated in the sun. i literally felt so sick and she made me feel guilty for falling asleep. X X X

this screenshot shows one of the times i actually asked her when she would repay me. at this point my credit card was nearly maxed out from ubers and sending her money. i was anxious about it and she made me feel bad for asking because her situation was worse than mine. this was the same day she asked me for $250 for a down payment on her car. X asking for money. X making me feel bad for asking when she’s gonna pay.

literally to this day im still in credit card debt because of this. yes i make good money, yes my husband does too. but credit card debt is hard and everyone knows it. i do fine for myself, but i don’t have hundreds extra to pay this down.

also, i cannot locate the bank screenshot. but as recent as this february, six months since she spoke to me, she still had my card on her uber and usted it again. i can’t find the screenshot of the actual of the bank transaction because i’ve completely had to close that account for fraud and transfer my balance to a new card. but here is a screenshot from february 12 where i tell my friends i caught her doing it. X .

manipulation in groups/related to groups

orbis. i ran a group called orbis, it was a reality show group. addy was one of my friends who really wanted me to open it. all of my groups i’ve adminned i’m the lead. i just always take on that roll so i do get very busy with them on top of my real life. i work full time and i’m a mom so i spread myself thin.she made me feel really guilty for this, saying i wasn’t giving her enough time, she wasn’t anyones dog. so i posted my unfollow. then she told me i was stupid for doing that. so i deleted my unfollow. then she said that me deleting my unfollow showed that i didn’t really care how she felt. screens. X X

lumeer. very similar situation to above. only this time i left the group completely for about 3 weeks. i called my coadmin crying about what she was doing to me, sent her the psds and templates for grpahics and left fully, though i helped them out if issues arose/they needed anything.

impulse. this was recently and this got brought to the tags. im going to copy & paste what i sent to bumkeyz as far as the story goes for what happened.

“ what happened in impulse is only one of several examples of addy being awful in groups i've adminned. this goes back to our friendship but specifically here's what happened in impulse. addy played a character named briar, the other characters involved were as mentioned in other posts loki & khalil (fai fc). one of he first days of the group khalil hooked up with both loki & briar. when the "updates" account posted about loki & khalil's hook up (we posted any and all plot drops that were sent in, it was a reality show so we consistently updated what the cameras caught), briar got upset on main. addy then messaged khalil's mun ooc and asked for the plot to be erased. essentially because she didn't like that khalil had hooked up with both her and another girl in the same day/same manor. as odd of a request as i was the khalil mun agreed to wipe it & asked that if there was anything that ever came up again that made addy uncomfortable to please not hesitate to dm. addy then softblocked khalil. which is strange. why soft block with briar's reason to dislike khalil has been wiped? that night addy posted on her personal tumblr hiqey "i forgot all fai khadra fcs are weirdos" or soemthing along that line. the khalil mun reasonably got uncomfortable with that, but was softblocked & didn't tell the main. they just ignored it since their characters weren't interacting now. for the next few days addy continued to shade khalil and loki on main, despite any ic reason for disliking them being wiped. loki then approached briar IN CHARACTER asking what was wrong/why she was shading/why they didn't like her. i don't know all the details of that conversation, but i know it ended with loki saying she was going to block briar & briar saying that was fine. bear in mind the admins had no idea any of this was happening at this point. addy then dmed the main, playing victim. after more shading of khalil, khalil's mun decided to block briar as well. addy despite wiping this plot and having 0 ic communication with khalil continued to shade the characters ic. so addy dmed the main playing innocent. asking for us to have them unblock, saying she had no idea why they blocked or what she did. as admins we had no idea why either, figured it was something ic so we dmed both muns. khalil's mun agreed after some hestiation, and asked if they had to follow her and i said no. they didn't elaborate. loki's mun however refused, & i'm glad she did because she told us what was going on. of course once we were told everyting we didn't make her unblock. up until we told addy that we were not going to make those muns unblock her, she was extremely sweet to us. she praised us on her rpt. said she loved the group. fed the main compliments. but when she didn't get her way out of us, and was essentially told on, she started causing issues on the timeline with different characters. she sent us a dm on the main telling us to "learn how to handle your group melanie" and deactivated before i could get a chance to reply. “

what i didn’t tell bumkeyz is that deejay/rpslayed played khalil. another example of addy’s manipulation is that when she saw deejay getting anons she followed deejay and texted her after several months of no communication, starting to tell her side of the story and play innocent -- not knowing that deejay was the person who was behind khalil the entire time. she made khalil out to be the bad guy, not knowing that it was deejay. after finding out deejay and i were friends, when deejay posted on rpslayed for people to follow me shortly after trying to get deejay on her side, addy blocked us both (again).

manipulation between friends (?)

i don’t really know a great way to title this, but this is similar to the situation i mentioned with the unnamed person above -- how addy made me think that person was the worst so i would stop being friends with them. this is a few more examples of that.

the entire time i was friends with addy, she told me that deejay hated me. she told me that deejay was convinced that i was this person who tried to get her kicked out of a group. she told me that she did her very best to convince deejay that it wasn’t true, but no matter what she did deejay just hated me. nearly a year later deejay and i cross paths in a group. we started talking ooc and i mentioned this. i asked her why she thought that was me. we found out that basically, while addy was telling me she was trying to convince deejay it wasn’t me, she was telling deejay that it was me. she would also tell me personal information about deejay that i had no business knowing, whether it be real life information or just telling me the groups deejay adminned when she knew deejay didn’t want anyone knowing.

i have found out recently that addy has recently been telling people a lie about when she came to visit me. on one evening when she visited me in june of 2019, we went to my friend’s house. we both drank, and smoked. i am someone who neither drinks nor smokes, and i got a very bad mix from it. my anxiety sky rocketed. i was crying on my friends couch practically paralyzed. i didn’t want to move. i felt sick. i felt scared. my friends were going to drive us back to my house and shortly before we were about to walk out addy said she needed to go to the hospital. my friend’s boyfriend drove her there, and when he came back they took me home. this night is very blurry for me. i remember barely being able to see straight, my friend helped me walk to and from the car. addy has told her friends that i refused to pick her up from the hospital that night, and i’ve now heard this from two of her close friends. when in reality, i was so far gone that not only was i sick and scared, but i couldn’t see straight. i had absolutely no ability to be behind a wheel. i’m not surprised she twisted this against me.

i provided a few people screenshots where addy was telling me to block them/trying to convince me that they were awful and hurting me. at the same time that addy was telling me this, she was doing the opposite to them -- to keep us apart. i believe this is some sort of power. always wanting to be everyones number one.

i don’t have a lot of screenshots for this, so i won’t go into much detail, but i can say on more than one occasion, or more than five or ten she told me who to and not to be friends with. told me to block people who had been our friends who were no longer friends with her.

flat out manipulation.

i don’t want to go back through my texts too much honestly. it’s still a sore spot. it still sucks and it still hurts. but i think anyone and everyone involved with addy at some point or another has similar stories about the way she treats her friends. there were points where i begged. begged and begged her not to leave me. i can’t even count how many times she blocked and unblocked me. how many times she made me feel the worst and then came back. she came back because she knw i was there. and that my generosity was practically endless. i couldn’t say no to her, frankly i can’t say no to anyone. if anyone dmed me today and said hey i need $15 for a ride home. i’d probably send it. that’s just how i am. addy completely had me wrapped around her finger. to the point that i left friends who were good to me. i left my own groups i worked hard on. i nearly ended my engagement (which cannot be entirely blamed on her, but the relationship she and i had was built off lots of manipulation). i know that i could go find 100 screenshots and texts of her manipulating me but honest i just don’t want to do that to myself again. she has made me out to be the villain to anyone she can. i have had 2 different people tell me that she told them i say the n word, which is the furthest thing from the truth. i fear the things she’s said about me to people. if she can 100% make something up, what can she twist from actual arguments or issues we had?

i know this sounds like a lot of rambling for nothing. but for nearly two years i’ve lived in fear in the rpc of addy. less so when we were friends. i’ve feared telling my side because i felt invalid. frankly even as i type this im scared. scared she’s already convinced everyone i’m awful and no one will read this or care. i just am thankful that this finally came to light. i am glad that i won’t feel scared anymore. roleplay is my one place to be free. as a mother, a full time worker, i don’t have a lot of time for hobby’s and frankly i don’t have a lot of them. i don’t draw, or read. i like to write. and i’m just thankful this can finally be lifted off me.

#twitter rp #rpt #rpc #rph #addy tw #hiqey

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katseesmovies · 3 years

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So, Shrek

In honor of Shrek turning 20 today, lets take a quick second to explore the legacy of Shrek.

On April 22nd, 2001 the world changed forever with the release of Shrek. A green middle finger pointed in the direction of the Disney company and Michael Eisner Shrek captured the popular imagination. It begins as all great movies do, by flushing an outhouse.

Jeffrey Katzenberg was the head of Walt Disney Studios and Animation under Michael Eisner for many years and by all accounts worked his tail off to help make that studio great. However Michael Eisner wouldn’t promote him even though he kept saying he would so eventually a very frustrated Katzenberg left Disney and started his own studio with David Geffen and Steven Spielberg called DreamWorks SKG. Katzenberg’s bonuses were then withheld, it went to Court, it was a whole *thing*. (This is a simplification there are several hundred page books about this)

Shrek tries to set itself apart by applying cynicism and a bit of crassness to the traditional Disney formula, which seems simple enough as a gimmick however if you examine some of the real life drama that was happening while Shrek was being made suddenly Shrek becomes a lot meaner. (Lord Farquad is a caricature of Michael Eisner) (Also go on and say “Lord Farquad” out loud if you haven’t recently).

Initially DreamWorks’ plan was to hire a bunch of animators out from under Disney and start making takeoffs of things he knew were in the pipeline while also making traditional hand drawn “boys adventure” animated films, which was an arena Disney had struggled in. Working on Shrek was considered a punishment at DreamWorks and allegedly 4 million dollars worth of animation had to be redone when Mike Myers realized that Shrek needed to have a Scottish accent. Shrek, in many ways, is a film for parents. The venom-laced barbs at Disney’s image and commercialism are aggressive and especially funny in hindsight, considering how over marketed Shrek became. Lord Farquard perusing bride choices in bed with a drink is an image I didn’t understand as a child, but knew adults thought was funny. For many children, though, Shrek was their introduction to the fairytale mythos and for some older children it was their first foray into subversion. Fiona killing a bird during her princess moment is ballsy and it feels dangerous. Shrek was also released in 2001 to compete with the Pixar movie that year Monsters Inc. (They did this many times, like Antz and SharkTale)

The anti-Disney sentiment is one that continues throughout counter-culture (here’s looking at you, Banksy) but I can’t help but feel that Shrek is the last gasp of something that was lost. Obviously the American zeitgeist was changed forever on September 11th, 2001. Suddenly the restrictive and clean Disney values seemed comforting and safe for many. Even Shrek 2 conforms to more fairy tale norms and isn’t as pointed as Shrek. Part of me wonders if Shrek is so nostalgic to folks because it’s a last gasp of a simpler time. Then the marketplace was flooded with Shrek content. Between sequels, tv specials, merch, tie ins, and then winning the inaugural Oscar for best animated picture it seemed like Shrek was here to stay. However, many folks became tired of Shrek and it became an incredibly popular meme property. People were modding video games to add Shrek into them, playing All Star in seemingly random places and groups upon groups of memes by and for people who love, hate or just want to laugh at Shrek. Through the internet Shrek has cemented itself in culture. (If you haven’t please check out Carlye Wisel’s podcast Very Amusing, and her ongoing quest to make Shrek into a Hanukkah icon)

I was starting to find my anthropology/history lens cluttering my view of the movie so I asked a colleague of mine, Jeffrey Tardiff, why he loved Shrek so much. His answer was kind of eye opening, honestly, “Shrek is a true fairy tale. It's the antidote to Disney princesses—depicting love at its best, worst, and greenest. Though Shrek is the focus of the franchise, Fiona is the story. She's a victim of years of abuse and trauma, yet she's able to reclaim her life, embrace who she is inside, become the self she sees, confront her family and her abusers, and still manage to start a new life with her true love.”

Maybe we’ve all gotten too cynical, too burnt out on Shrek and its marketing machine. I think it became popular to hate because it became the very thing it was parodying - an over marketed fairytale. But revisiting for this piece I was repeatedly caught off guard by the joy that exists in these movies that came from such a spiteful place. (The first two especially) There’s a lot of love and important lessons hidden in this weird corporate amalgam. I guess, you could say, much like an ogre or an onion, this film’s legacy has a lot of layers.

I’d like to thank Jeffrey Tardiff, coworker and Shrek guru for his remarks for this piece.

#shrek #cultural analysis #i don't know what i'm doing #shrek at 20 #i'm a believer #hey siri play all star by smash mouth

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yelpfic · 3 years

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2020 Writing (Year in Review)

In 2019, I posted 3K words on AO3.

In 2020, I posted 214K words on AO3.

I have probably written more fic this year than I have in my entire life... and I didn't even start until April.

Since I feel like I'm new to writing all over again (the last time I wrote regularly was probably about a decade ago), this has been a year of experimentation. One obvious change is that I'm writing from this "alt" account, where I've been posting whatever the hell iddy, gratuitous, self-indulgent stories happened to fall out of my brain. (Perhaps as a consequence, I noticed that the ratio of public bookmarks across all my fics clocked in at around 50%. In other words, half the people who bookmarked my works chose to do so privately!)

I also experimented with:

participating in fic exchanges and prompt memes

writing for a variety of fandoms: big and small, new and dead

varying up my writing style: using present and past tenses, ranging from super florid descriptions to conversational prose

self-promotion on Tumblr, which meant attempting to learn how to use it. I'm sure I still don't have all the etiquette down, but no one's complained yet I guess.

My main project this year has been Once a Runner, the fic that got me started writing again, so I owe quite a lot to it. It's also sucked me deep into Eyeshield 21, a fandom that was active 10-15 years ago but still somehow has a few loyal fans. I am deeply grateful to these folks for... well... existing! In addition to OAR, I've written four other ES21 fics this year, each with a different pairing. In all but one fic, I managed to use a different obscure character tag that has never been used before!

This year, I've done a decent job (mostly) working on one big project at a time. I'm starting to get used to the feeling of always having an active writing project again, letting it churn away in my brain in a background process. Sometimes I'm rewarded with a scene or a plot idea that comes out of nowhere, like a plant that produces mysterious fruit - both delightful and worrying at the same time.

I wrap up this year embarking on a new project, Solid as Stone, which, as currently planned, is going to take me even further out of my comfort zone.

AO3 stats and meme responses below the cut.

My AO3 stats at the end of the year:

Meme questions:

Best title: Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl

Worst title: Lightbringer Mine

Longest title: Their offers should not charm us (their evil gifts would harm us) (65 characters)

Shortest title: Talisman (8 characters)

Best first line: "Don't," the witcher's arm shot out, barring his companion mid-step, "touch."

Worst first line: Yeah, in hindsight, Sena shouldn't have answered that doorbell.

Best last line: "It will be done," he agrees, and presses the lilies into her hands. "My promise is solid as stone."

Worst last line: "I can't win or lose until you bring your strain to market. All I ask is that you hurry up and regrow, so we can really compete."

Conclusion: I need to work on endings.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? I wrote more than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? Everything. I wasn't into any of these fandoms last year.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. OAR, for sure. It got me back into writing, and I devoted an enormous amount of mental energy to it. Runners up (pun intended) were any ES21 rarepair fics where I lamented the lack of content for a pairing I loved, tried to explain everything I loved about them in fic form, and basically turned into my ship manifesto/soapbox. In fic form.

Okay, NOW your most popular story. Solid as Stone. OAR comes close by sole virtue of being a long, multichaptered work posted over 8 months, but with a single chapter of under 3K words, and having been up for under two weeks, SAS is already beating OAR in some statistics. I never realized Genshin Impact was such a hot fandom, even for a rarepair like this.

Story most underappreciated by the universe? All my stories got quite a bit more attention than I expected (thank you, everyone, sincerely), but I'd say Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl. It's original, it was written in an exchange, and it has a decent plot (if I do say so myself) and even a bit of smut. Perhaps F/F work is not so popular?

Story that could have been better? I could probably list multiple things I'd want to improve about each story, but let me just limit myself to one. Lightbringer Mine had more story in it that I didn't get around to telling, and the ending felt a little abrupt. I feel a little awkward extending it now, though, as it was a gift fic.

Saddest story? Hmm, I think just about every story I wrote had a happy-ish ending. I suppose I'll go with C&D,C&C.

Most fun? TBH, the same? There are several lighthearted moments and a heist scene.

Most fucked-up story? Stars and Stripes Forever (lack of link intentional)

Hardest story to write? Once a Runner

Easiest/most fun story to write? Always Knew I'd Fall. I went skeet shooting once, and as soon as I had the idea that Kid and Hiruma might be good at it, the story basically wrote itself. I also thought the song from the title was too perfect of a Kid song to pass up.

Top five scenes you would like to see illustrated: I would die happy to see any scene from OAR illustrated. Off the top of my head, the Hiruma and Sena bathtub scene, haircutting scene, or Hiruma taunting Monta in the car when we first meet Monta. From other fics, Kid walking around the course with Hiruma and making him carrying his gun properly in "Always Thought I'd Fall", and Sara Spectacular blocking the shadow bolts in "Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl".

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I experimented with posting explicit works, and as it turns out, sex sells. I also really put my kinks out there (sexual and otherwise) and was surprised and gratified to find others who appreciated it. Conclusion: it's okay to write the fic that you've always wanted to write. Even if it's embarrassing, or if some will judge you for it, writing for likeminded souls makes more sense than writing to avoid critics.

What are your fic writing goals for next year? I have a lot more ideas for SAS, so I'd like to make that my next big project. I'm also signed up for Five Figure Fic Exchange, so that means I have a 10k fic due by the end of the month that I need to... start... Beyond that, I'd like to write more original works, perhaps something that I can even publish under my real name?? Is that crazy, brain??

Some specific things I've struggled with this year that I'd like to improve: titles and character names, physical descriptions, making my endings less abrupt

#fic meta #writing meta #meme #year in review

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theoldaeroplane · 3 years

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HARDWIRED - 10 - Together

Hey! This is the last piece of Hardwired I have written, and I think it’s an okay enough ending. I’ve started a new original project involving cryptids and rainstorms and, uh, I maybe picked April and Dell and some other characters up and dumped them in there and now I’m just shaking the box until it turns into something. I wrote about them for eight years, I’m pretty sure I could write about them for eight more. We’ll see what comes of it, but I’m really, really excited about the project.

As always, thanks for reading. <3

---

CW: indiginous slur

It’s always something.

When Dell emerges from the bedroom in the morning, groggy and with his mind still racing—about his family, his mother, the fact April’s request that he not tell her of her beauty still stings—for one peaceful moment he forgets all of it. This is because the dog is standing on the kitchen counter with a guilty look. His snout is covered in barbecue sauce from where he had been licking the plates from last night’s dinner.

The rest of the day isn’t much better. His phone starts to blow up as his relatives catch wind of his mother’s version of events, and after the seventh call starts to blare he hears April yell fuck you! and stalk out the back door.

Through all the disparate messages, a whole finally pieces together. “They want to meet you,” he says when she prowls back in, cigarette smoke clinging to her. He feels a flash of sadness at the sight of her hair, short and messy, and wishes it was long again. An instant later he’s checking himself in worry: why does he want that? To appease his family?

“Why?” April says, bristling. “So they can call me an injun?”

“April—”

“So mommy can wail about her innocent little boy being corrupted by the nasty brown bitch? What?”

His brow twists. He’s silent, for a moment. Then: “Sugar, I wasn’t saying you should do it.”

“Then what were you saying?”

“I was stating a fact,” Dell says, treading carefully. This is an outburst—a deserved one, to be sure, but rarer and rarer for her these days. “And yes, I’m sure they’d find a way to be horrible to you if you went along with it. I’ve got to handle them. You don’t have to do anything.”

“Damn right,” she mutters.

---

Dell leaves the next day, off to the nearest relative’s home: Missy’s place. April at least kisses him goodbye.

It goes miserably, of course. The whole clan wants to know why April refused to come, and then why she’s so stuck-up, and why can’t he just marry a nice Christian girl, and then it’s back to the interrogation of Dell’s years of being supposedly dead.

April is gone when he returns. Shep, too. He waits up that night to see if she’ll return, but this is part of life with April: sometimes she leaves.

His bed feels cold.

---

She wants to go home.

As soon as the thought crosses her mind she knows it won’t help, and might be actively harmful. The home she wants isn’t the house in Arizona, anyway. She doesn’t know where it is.

All these thoughts pass April’s mind as she eats yet more fast food, perched on the edge of the truck bed. It’s well past midnight, and Shep is torn between begging for scraps and going to sleep. Overhead the KFC parking lot, the moon gazes down. She is here and not in Arizona and not with Dell and not home, because of the fact she is a fucking moron.

She’s not alone.

“Still not talking to me?”

April shovels more chicken into her mouth.

“Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

The ghost kicks his legs, leaning back on long arms that gently leak smoke. April ignores him until the fatty fried skin feels disgusting in her mouth. She peels off chunks of meat and tosses them to the dog.

“Y’know you only see me when you feel guilty, right?” At her side, the ghost makes as if to elbow her. “I know I ain’t Alice. I ain’t got advice or nothing. Just, maybe think about it.”

Great. Wonderful. Just what she needed, for her own hallucination to inform her of his purpose, that he’s a signal of her guilt. Like she’s too stupid to figure that out on her own.

“Nothing personal, babe, but sometimes you are.”

When she turns to snap at him, he’s gone.

---

Dell’s mother has a key to his apartment, but April does not. April sleeps in her car, in his parking lot, and when she drags herself to his door at six in the morning and bangs on it it’s a surprise to everyone.

Probably Dell will think it’s his family again, here to haunt him further. Probably he’s going to be frustrated with her disappearing act, because in hindsight she can see it for the angry, punishing response that it was. She does not feel bad about being angry with Dell’s family. She does feel bad about taking it out on him—especially after the thing with Janet.

The door opens. Dell is in the undershirt and striped house pants she’s gotten to be very fond of in the last two weeks. This makes her feel worse.

“Hey,” she says, not meeting his eyes. “Um. I was going to leave, but I came back, instead.”

He looks tired. He looks tired both in the way that tells her she definitely woke him up, and in the way that tells her his meeting with his family definitely did not go well. “I’m sorry,” she says.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he says, like that’s true. He takes her hand and tugs her inside. She crosses the threshold and half-expects to be struck down.

Then he laughs, half to himself. “My lucky penny,” he says, and when April realizes he’s referring to her, her cheeks grow hot. “Come on. We’ll figure this out together.”

#little tias things #tias april #the arsonist #tias hardwired #corgiwrites!

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professorspork · 4 years

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ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway.

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required.

#leah plays mass effect andromeda

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odanurr87 · 4 years

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My thoughts on... The King: Eternal Monarch

Lee Min-ho as Lee Gon, and Kim Go-eun as Jeong Tae-eul.

Release date: April 17 - June 12, 2020

Episodes: 16

Available on: Netflix

Plot synopsis: On one fateful night of December 1994, the king of the Kingdom of Corea was brutally murdered by his illegitimate brother, Lee Lim. The king’s son, Lee Gon, was spared a similar fate thanks to the timely intervention of a mysterious saviour, who only left behind an identity card belonging to one Lieutenant Jeong Tae-eul. 15 years later, King Lee Gon finds himself transported to the parallel world of the Republic of Korea where he meets Lieutenant Jeong Tae-eul and together they work to uncover a conspiracy across their two worlds.

Rewatch meter: Medium to High

Introduction

The King: Eternal Monarch is the latest work by writer Kim Eun-sook and, since I enjoyed two of her previous works (Descendants of the Sun and Goblin), I was quite looking forward to it. I didn't know actor Lee Min-ho at the time but I recalled Kim Go-eun from Goblin so I was relatively excited to see her in another main role. The pilot episode of the show was great, deftly introducing us to a host of characters and setting up several plot threads in a total runtime of 70 minutes, already incorporating the concepts of time travel and parallel worlds, not an easy task and a much welcome departure from most kdramas on air. Since I am a fan of sci-fi and modern fantasy however, that meant I'd put this show under the microscope so how did it fare?

Related reviews: Goblin

Characters

From left to right: Lee Jung-jin as Lee Lim, Jung Eun-chae as Goo Seo-rung, Lee Min-ho as Lee Gon, Kim Go-eun as Jeong Tae-eul, Woo Do-hwan as Jo Yeong, and Kim Kyung-nam as Kang Shin-jae.

The show enjoys, and suffers from, a host of characters on both worlds, with many actors playing dual roles because of the concept of parallel worlds. This (over)abundance of characters results in most having to play second fiddle to the two leads. In hindsight, a tighter cast would've worked better. A fair few of the characters (e.g. the detective hiding something from his wife, the pregnant lady, the mother of Lee Gon's doppelganger, god kid, and many more) did not ultimately justify their presence other than to set up (underwhelmingly resolved) mysteries to keep the audience engaged. More important characters, like Prime Minister Koo and Lee Lim, sadly never reached their full potential to my mind, being relegated to play more stereotypical antagonist roles in the end. While I can understand this decision with Lee Lim to an extent, it was a shame Prime Minister Koo’s character wasn’t more nuanced. While Lee Min-ho's characterization of Lee Gon has taken some flak I found him to act more or less in line with how a (fictional) king would, one excited at the prospect of having found the woman he's been searching for for most of his life. Kim Go-eun as Jeong Tae-eul was the one who truly delivered on the emotional end of the spectrum, as we all knew she would. Sadly, the character of Luna was more undercooked, and the show could probably have done without her.

Pacing

The all-out battle at the end of Episode 11, with Lee Gon showing off his skill with the sword, is one of the highlights of the show.

While the pacing of the show ramped up considerably towards the end it actually started rather slowly. Lee Gon discovers the Republic of Korea at the end of the first episode, yes, but it is not until the end of Episode 4 that he returns to his kingdom, with a skeptical Jeong Tae-eul in tow. Then, it is at the end of Episode 9 that Lee Gon and Lee Lim have their first encounter, with an all-out battle with Lee Lim's henchmen at the end of Episode 11, and the reveal of the identity of the savior at the end of Episode 13. I was quite satisfied with the show's pacing up until that point but a little worried about how they would tie everything up with 3 episodes left, worries that proved to be justified, as many plot threads were left unresolved or rushed to conclusion without living up to the expectations built up after several episodes. Considering the last episode of the show solves the main conflict in the first 20 minutes, I don't think this faster pacing was justified.

Execution

It is difficult not to conclude the execution of the plot wasn't nearly as tight as it could've been. The show continuously introduced new questions, new mysteries, and new characters, to keep us guessing, to keep us engaged, sometimes to the detriment of the overall storytelling quality. Who is this new character? How does s/he factor in Lee Lim's plan? Who's sending this stuff to PM Koo? What is the significance of the scars? There is no doubt these questions succeeded in keeping us engaged and I have to give it props for that. However, the execution was dragged down from indulging in superfluous characters and plot threads. Park Moon-sik's nightly escapades from his wife are a perfect example, a plot whose resolution was needlessly postponed till the final episode. Removing such plots could've open up time better served to further develop characters, like PM Koo, or explore Lee Lim's plans more thoroughly, an aspect where I feel the show dropped the ball, as these turned out to be contradictory and contrived, helping out the writer more than Lee Lim himself.

Time Travel

Sadly, the execution of time travel is a direct casualty of continuously trying to surprise the audience with new twists or for the sake of pulling at our heart strings. Up until Episode 13, its depiction of time travel lined up perfectly with the concept of a causal loop (e.g. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban), but then Episode 14 had characters remember new past events in real-time (think of the movie Frequency, with Jim Caviezel and Dennis Quaid), and Episode 15 resurrected a character who should've been dead, among potentially more problematic issues. Time travel is a fictional concept, but even fiction is guided by certain rules and, sadly, the depiction of time travel in The King: Eternal Monarch does not hold up under further scrutiny, what deflated my engagement somewhat. Here I was, trying to understand how the writer had put together the puzzle only to realize some of the pieces didn't line up or were from different puzzles altogether. This was not entirely unexpected, as few stories have used time travel consistently in the past, but I was mildly disappointed, particularly given the writer’s excellent work and attention to detail in Goblin.

Romance

Another highlight of the show, especially if you understand exactly what is going on in this scene.

While I can believe Lee Gon could’ve developed feelings for Jeong Tae-eul after searching for her for 20+years (fans of The Expanse will recall Miller also developed feelings for Julie while searching for her), the beginning of their romance in Episode 5 felt a bit forced. It also struck me as odd when Jeong Tae-eul was the one to declare her feelings of love for Lee Gon in Episode 7 instead of the other way around. In fact, it isn't until Episode 10 that Lee Gon admits his feelings for her in one of the most emotional scenes of the show. Perhaps if the two had switched around their declarations it would’ve made more sense.

In any case, their romantic relationship was cemented from Episode 10 onwards for me, although they had cute couple moments in earlier episodes, with Episode 6 featuring the most heartfelt conversations and interactions. For my part, watching their relationship continue to unfold was one of the highlights of the show, and it certainly delivered in the following episodes. Lee Gon's unyielding quest across time and space to find Jeong Tae-eul again and again was moving, though more powerful in Episode 14 than 16 to my mind, perhaps because of the music, editing, and added emotional impact of Jeong Tae-eul knowing Lee Gon is on his way. Perhaps if Episode 16 had dedicated more than 5 minutes (count them) of its runtime to show Lee Gon constantly leaving the palace to search for and meet different versions of Jeong Tae-eul throughout the years it would've been a lot more impactful, and potentially heartbreaking. Tying it to his appearance at the end of Episode 10 would've made it perfect.

Music

youtube

I hesitate slightly to say the soundtrack for The King: Eternal Monarch is on the same level as that of Goblin (time will tell), but if it's not, it certainly isn't far behind. Songs like "Gravity," "Orbit," and "Maze," or instrumental tracks like "One Day," "My Love and...," "Into the Fantasy," and "The Fantasia of Another Dimension," are a sample of this album's best. Sadly, not all tracks featured in the show are included in the album, such as the variant of “The King” that plays at the end of Episode 15 when Lee Gon bids farewell to Lady Noh. If you're a soundtrack aficionado like I am, I'd suggest you keep this album in your Spotify library or equivalent.

Conclusions

The King: Eternal Monarch is, by no means, a perfect show. It is technically not as good as writer Kim Eun-sook's previous Goblin, which overall covered the topics previously discussed better than The King did. However, that is not to say The King: Eternal Monarch isn't an overall good show as it is, one that boldly incorporates interesting concepts like time travel and parallel worlds to its narrative with ultimately mixed results. The music is great, production values are top notch, and all of the actors’ performances were on point, though a tighter cast would’ve benefited some of their performances. While the romance between Lee Min-ho’s and Kim Go-eun’s characters may be a hard sell for some, at least initially, it ultimately worked for me.

If you haven't watched the show yet and are reading this review now, then I'm sorry that you've missed out on the experience of watching the show week to week, discussing and dissecting it with other viewers, and rewatching episodes scouring for clues, a process it easily lends itself to as opposed to other kdramas. If you're into sci-fi and modern fantasy, then I'd encourage you to give it a watch, bearing in mind the previously discussed caveats. If you're into romance kdramas, set your expectations accordingly. If you're looking for more recommendations on modern fantasy+romance and have already watched Goblin, then allow me to recommend the excellent Hotel del Luna (which I’m currently in the process of reviewing after watching it, what, four times now?). For my part, I'm looking forward to Kim Eun-sook, Lee Min-ho, and Kim Go-eun's next projects.

#the king eternal monarch #lee min ho #kim go eun #kim eun sook #woo do hwan #kdrama #review #kdramas

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fire2forge · 3 years

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Looking back...

March 15th 2020. My ship said goodbye to to our last guests. We pulled into Miami, let everyone off and left to go drift out with all the other cruise ships. At the time we all thought that it would truly be a 30 day pause in operations, we know now how naïve that was.

I’ll admit for awhile it was nice. Crew had the run of the ship, bars were open earlier, we had very little work to do, late nights out having fun, all kinds of activities. We were all so confident that covid hadn’t made it to our ship, that we were all safe, and this was just gonna be a 30 day vacation.

Cut to the 21st:

We come to find out later that this unannounced drill was our super-spreader event. Because no-one knew it was a drill, everyone that was in isolation came out (we thought the ship was on fire)...by the time it was announced it was a drill and those confined should not leave it was to late...

Cut to the 24th:

I go back to medical later in the day, and after testing negative for the flu, am given a mask and told I was not allowed to leave my cabin (I luckily did not have a room mate), unless it was to come back for daily temp checks.

I find out later on that unknown to most of us we had a lot of people that had quietly been put into isolation (in a crew of 2000+, it’s easy to not notice). This was also the day of our first major repatriation effort 700 crew (mainly cruise division) where slated to fly...only a few did.

Cut to the 28th:

The first PCR tests are done onboard, sometime in the afternoon the Captain comes on and says we have one positive case. A few hours later its 14 confirmed cases, and everyone is told to return to their cabins until further notice (We never had an official announcement given after the first 14, but it was well over 100 cases by the end). The ship has just entered lock down.

On the 29th All crew got moved into guest rooms, this was both because of an order from the CDC, and so that the many smoker’s would be able to smoke on the balconies. We had different zones to divide everyone up:

Red Zone for confirmed cases, Orange for suspected/been in contact with, and the rest for supposedly healthy. It’s here that I note that even though I had already been in isolation for days, had a constant cough, and had had a fever (that by then had broken) I was never tested, nor was I put into orange zone.

At this point no one can leave cabins (excluding those working crew) and the company has started to realize that they need to get everyone back home as soon as possible. Repatriation efforts start to really kick into gear.

We stayed in what would eventually be labeled Phase 1 for 29 days. We entered Phase 2 April 26th.

PHASE 1

During the initial phase, all crew got asked if they wanted to stay onboard (unpaid), basically for those who didn’t want to or couldn’t go home for any reason. This would become Group 3. I was part of this group, for many reasons I did not want to go home, so the free room and board was perfect for me, and many of my friends. This is the sole reason I was onboard for so long, not because of anything the company did.

Those that did want to go home became group 2, many of them would end up waiting months before their country opened up and flights could be made, I remember how at the end of March beginning of April, we would constantly here from the Capt that some nationality was going to fly that day, only for him to come back and say that the got denied at some point in the process and would be coming back onboard.

Those few that were still getting paid, still had a job because someone had to run the ship became known as Group 1.

I don’t really remember that much from this time, the days really started to blend and the isolation was not helping anything. While people in the US where throwing fits over “Shelter in Place” orders, I was not allowed to leave a room that was roughly 20′x10′. They complained about not being able to see friends, I only saw 1 person a day (one of my managers twice a day for temp checks, approx. 5 second visits each). They complained that stores had limited hours, I had no store, I had limited choice in food, I had no ability to get snacks, it was 3 meals a day that’s it, you want some chips at 3pm to bad dinner won’t come till 6pm. (eventually they sorted out a system so we could by snacks, beer, cigs, and bathroom supplies). To top this all off we had no access to laundry services till round April 5th, I was put in isolation before everyone else, I had not done my laundry for a week before hand....I was struggling.

Looking through some old notes, apparently at one point I had made a schedule, Breakfast 9-10...Read till 11....Listen to the crew radio show 11-1...Lunch 12-1...Nap...Dinner 5-6...Sleep. Very stimulating days we had.

A month of solitude was not easy, especially when you keep hearing about crew members being denied entry into their own countries, the media blaming the industry as a whole for covid reached the US, constantly thinking our quarantine was gonna end only for it to be extended, and not seeing or really speaking to anyone the entire time. But a light at the end of the tunnel...Phase 2

PHASE 2

April 26th we got let out....kinda...

Split down the Middle...people on Portside got let out for 3 hours, then People on Starboard got let out for 3 hours (this excluded anyone in red or orange zone). After our “yard time” we went back to our cabins. Once a week you could go down and purchase up to 4 items from the slop chest (the crew shop). Everyone was wearing masks, the only time we weren’t is if we were smoking, one person per ashtray spaced about 8ft apart.

At some point during this time the Captain made a comment on how in hindsight we should of went straight into lockdown on March 15th, that we should of done 2 weeks then instead of over a month now.

We still had 2 temp checks a day (done door to door), and all meals were still delivered. There is a reason we joked about it being yard time, because it really was. You got to get some fresh air and maybe see a few friends that was it....Luckily it didn’t last long we entered phase 3 on May 12th.

But before that a note. By this time the fleet had started using our own ships to transport crew home, aka one ship sailed a bunch of people over to India. Along with that some people were getting lucky enough to have flights. So my ship was constantly losing people, either because they got a flight home or where being moved onto another ship. If I remember correctly our largest sign off was ~500 Filipinos, it was a hectic time in crew movement, by the time we got into Phase 3 we only had a few hundred people on board if memory serves right.

PHASE 3

We could finally be outside for as long as we wanted, no more restricted movement. Meals where in the large guest buffet area (seating 1 or 2 people a table only, all distanced), temp checks where done at division based locations, for me that was the theatre (still two a day)....that’s basically the only change.

We still had to wear masks at all times, we were still supposed to keep distance, no groups, no going into each others cabins, no fun nights out...in theory.

The first few days in Phase 3 we ended up signing off almost everyone that was in Group 2, by May 20th we were at minimum manning +16 Group 3 (in total about 100 people). It was then that we went back to eating in the crew mess and the restrictions where unofficially forgotten about.

When I say this you must keep in mind that at this point it had been almost 3 months since any of us had touched land, and a solid month and a half since we had a positive case. Much like New Zealand and Australia now, we no longer had to worry about covid. We still wore masks around the ship (thanks to the CDC), but unless Chief Safety caught you no one was gonna look twice at a large group eating at one table, or a group staying up late drinking and playing cards (guilty of that)...By the end of May it was almost like we had regained some normalicy...so of course it couldn’t last...

MOVING SHIP

May 21st, Group 3 got a notice that we would be transferred to another ship in the fleet to consolidate all of us together. They said it would be a few weeks before this transfer...We finally got moved on June 22nd.

As of today March 16th 2021 a full year after we stopped sailing, the last remaining Group 2 and Group 3 people from my company have gotten home, those that were in Group 2 came from Vietnam, and Trinidad and Trabago it took a year to finally get them home...let that sink in.

...

And here is where i’ll end this tale, if anyone is interested in knowing about life on the 2nd and 3rd ship I got transferred to before going home in December, let me know i’ll type something up.

#cruise crew #Cruise Ship #covid #crew #long post #there is so much i didn't put down #all the little things #all the rules #all the shit the cdc did to us and still is doing #a lot of nuance #is lost here as i tried to make it not a super long post #as well as keep it vague what company i work with #and don't get the wrong idea here i will be the 1st one back on a ship #i just felt like doing a retrospective on how my covid experiance differed from others #maybe its because my friends from the ship just got home and seeing them reacting to just everything that's changed ....#well it got me thinking

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