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meigui-jin · 1 year

Note

Hey do you think you could do some yandere headcanons for Hantengu and his clones?

Plot: `Yandere Hantengu Headcanons´

| ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɪ��ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀ. ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ |

Warning!: Blood/Gore, Kidnapping, abuse, nudity, non-con mentioned, blood drinking, no proofread.

Note: Thanks for the request, this(these) demon(s) needs more love! Urami was excluded because he acts exactly like Hantengu 👀 This piece is also kind of long—

|English is not my first language|

Hantengu is a strange character

There could be a multitude of reasons as to why he feels for you. It could be anything really, treating him nicely in his human life, a passing glance, or that he found you pretty.

Which sends his mind into a delirious frenzy, making up a delusion that there was something there. The way his heart leaped into his throat, what a wonderful feeling that was. And it was overwhelming.

There was something about you that he needed. And he falls hard.

Not that you'd ever know of any of this. As Hantengu is a coward, only ever sticking to the shadows. He is big on stalking his beloved since he himself wouldn't be able to withstand you're mere presence, as if you were the sun itself.

Though he is possessive, Hantengu would seeth in jealousy whenever anyone would even come within five feet of his beloved, not even family members are an exception. As he deludes himself in the fantasy where he's obligated to you, and he alone. This occurs often when he stalks, though, he does not trust his clones to not do anything rash. So he just watches and let's his frustrations out later. When your not around.

He has convinced himself that everyone is mean and cruel. Which applies to everyone around you. He and his clones take no problem in eliminating anyone he sees as a threat. Which- sadly for you- is almost everyone.

They are just doing it to protect you, keep their love safe. Is that so wrong to do?

One of his clones would probably be the one to finally pluck you from your old home and bring you to your new one. The one with the highest chance of kidnapping you is Sekido.

You never stood a chance really, their upper rank four for a reason. And once they have you unconscious, they would whisk you away to an abandoned- yet stable home of a poor family who happened to be devoured by the demons not too long ago.

Hantengu is completely baffled and heartbroken at your aversion to him. The scared look in your eyes makes him jump in his own skin and crawl away. He didn't like this expression- not one bit.

Hantengu tries to make it as comfortable as possible for you- at least what he thinks would help. But it just makes it worse, he merely views it as homesickness rather than his own disgusting behavior.

As in his mind he's made up the delusion that the two of you were madly in love.

Hantengu doesn't seem to recognize his own strength at times- forcibly keeping you in his hold or strained kisses where he doesn't seem to notice the tears or pleas. Though he never does anything more than that. As his heart might fail if he did anything else.

Even if you claw away his skin- he sees it as a loving gesture. Bonding. He would also bring gifts- to try and show you that he wasn't like those mean people. That you can trust him.

He's extremely lenient and 'kind' towards you. He sees that you can do no wrong at all. The same way he victimizes himself to guilt trip you into staying or doing something with him. No matter how mundane it is.

Hantengu is extremely gullible when it comes to you. Though he's not stupid enough to just outright let you go- it's that he's the only one you even have a chance at escaping with through manipulation. But it can backfire immensely, your sudden switch to a more sweeter- doting nature may spur his delusions even further.

And when he can't physically be there, he would leave one of his clones to watch over you.

Sekido is probably the worst out of all of them. He doesn't care what you want. He does whatever because he can and there's no way that you could stop him. Even his brothren have trouble keeping him in check.

Sekido has no problem letting his everlasting anger out on you. Even if you weren't the one to cause it.

Which never ends pretty- foul names, red scratches, marks, bruises, broken bones... He never has an ounce of pity or mercy. His punishments are always extreme, he can't control his own anger. He doesn't even apologize for the abuse he puts on you almost constantly.

Sekido does has his moments though. Usually in silence, sitting in the room you've been locked in for God knows how long- just staring.

But those are rare occurrences, other times he just banters off on whatever pissed him off at the moment.

He says he loves you, but you're damn sure that's a lie.

As mentioned before Sekido doesn't care what you want. Often forcing you to partake in extremely uncomfortable situations. Bathing together, striping you nude and just staring- Sekido really does have a staring problem.

Personal space doesn't exist with him either. You'd be sitting, standing- whatever you would be doing Sekido would just slot himself as close as possible to you.

And if you even dare try to move away, or even get some breathing room. He'd have you pinned immediately, it's unfair really. How weak you were against him. He often used that as an advantage against you.

Sekido would get you stuff he thinks you may like. It's extremely awkward however.

Sekido really likes the taste of your blood. Sure his brothren do as well. But not... This much... It's almost on sight when he returns and immediately sinks his sharp fangs into your plush flesh- almost taking too much blood at times and leaving you unconscious.

Sekido incredibly intelligent, so trying an escape attempt when he is the one watching over you- might as well say goodbye to your legs because he may snap them completely off if he gets angry enough. And trust me it's extremely easy to make this demon see red.

Sekido be one of the only ones to actually do anything sexual with you. Sekido uses sex as both a punishment and an award. Either way, if you struggle and fight him or not.

Especially after the first time he had defiled you- it was addicting to feel you so closely intimate. He almost forgot why he was so mad in the first place. Almost.

Sekido might even try and convince or force the others to do it as well.

Aizetsu is- interesting, to say the least.

He is extremely whiney- it shocked you when the demon got on his knees and begged you to just embrace him- he would do anything for any sort of attention.

Aizetsu is extremely desperate, as he's finally feeling something other than sorrow. And he will devote himself entirely to you for letting this new light into his life.

He's extremely stand-offish as he's content with just basking in your presence alone. It's enough for him.

Other than Urogi, Aizetsu is one of the least life threatening one's. He still punishes you yes, but at least it's not breaking your bones or violating you. The most he would do is lock you in somewhere with no contact to himself or his brothren- which starts some fights.

Aizetsu would protect you- at least from bleeding to death. He never- ever would stand up to his brothren. Only helping you with any injuries you sustained by them.

Quiet apologies on their behalf. Though he does say that you acted out of line- and that's why they had to do it- because they love you is all. To forgive them.

Aizetsu would guilt trip you into doing things with him. Intentionally or not. He would tear up if you said no, saying that maybe he wasn't good enough. He never was. When this happens he doesn't even realize that he even is guilting you into letting him play with your hair- feed you- bath you. Really Aizetsu wants to be as close as possible.

Aizetsu is extremely dependent on you, emotionally and physically. So hours are wasted away with him just holding you. It can be any sprt of physical interaction. Holding hands, hugging, anything really.

Urogi is extremely hyper, bouncing from one train of thought to the next. Those of which usually involve random things such as, how were you doing? Had you eaten today? What were you doing right now, ect. He wants to know every last detail of anything and everything that happens with you.

He loves seeing the emotions spread across your face. Whether it be fear, content, pleasure. He finds it all cute.

Urogi is the only one that lets you outside- to the displeasure of his brothren. Small walks with you squirming on his shoulder with such cute doe eyes never fails to make him smile.

Urogi doesn't punish you at all. Sharing the belief you could do no wrong. Other than that you were convinced to do it or there was an alterior motive to any sort of defiance. Urogi would even compliment your abilities when he finds you again. Clapping with a big lazy grin at how far you managed to go this time.

He enjoys the chase, sometimes intentionally letting you escape just to track you down. It's fun to him.

Urogi would often take baths with you. Cooing and softly complimenting you as he helps you wash off, even as you shy away, he'd just grab your forearm and pull you back. Laughing at how cute you were being.

He's also very hyper- like mentioned beforehand. The most Urogi wants to do is spend and know as much about you as he can. Braiding your hair (no matter how short or long it is), if you don't have any he'd do origami with you, sing randomly, draw, talk, cook, sit in silence, kiss. It's fascinating how quick he can jump from one activity to another. As it's all fun to Urogi.

Karaku is obviously the most lenient out of them all. Being Hantengus personification of Relaxation.

Karaku never really speaks unless spoken too- seeing no need since the two of you seemed to just- know what the others thinking. At least he thinks so.

Karaku absolutely loves just lazing around with you, not like you'd be able to run off either. Karaku doesn't seem to be all that aware but trust me, he's alert at all times. Any form of opening a window, door, ceiling, wall- anything he's already beside you in a blink of an eye.

Karaku's punishments are weird- it's not directed at you- per se.

He would force you to inflict damage on himself, being a demon and all it heals really quickly- but this could last hours. Climbing the extremes untill you mentally can't go further.

Cutting off his tongue, gouging out his eyes, taking his heart out of his chest and laying it at your feet.

Karaku, like Urogi, doesn't think that any retaliation is of your own will.

Though, Karaku is a bit masochistic, driving pleasure from the 'punishment' he's forcing you to do. Even if your not physically harming him. Watching your face morph into various states of horror watching him mangle himself.

Karaku never calls you by your name- only random things that come to mind when he thinks about you, "Shortie", seems to be his favorite.

As shared with all of Hantengu's clones, Karaku genuinely thinks you're in love. He is more gentler than the others.

Doesn't mean much as Karaku tries to get you to eat human flesh from time to time.

He loves making any part of your face bleed, especially your lips, then lick the blood from it. He doesn't know why but that disgusted aroma and goosebumps always make him smile. And hungry.

Karaku is most likely the most addicted to your blood- beating Sekido by a long shot.

He would literally not stop- only sucking at your punctured neck slower when he was close to taking too much. He would either fall asleep or get pried off by you or one of his brothren to actually stop. Karaku is smitten by the taste- he'd even take some with him in tiny gourds just to get a taste when he's not near you.

Karaku likes to play with your hair, badly styling it too. Tugging at it and sometimes accidentally ripping some out. He would always apologize for it- even though he's not really sorry.

He would also be the one to try and get you to 'warm up' to them. Trying to set up situations where you either have to do something with them (which is most of the time anyways-) or that you have to talk to them.

Karaku would also sternly yell sometimes when you do something he doesn't like. Mostly when he is lazing about- holding you almost bone crushingly close. Even the slightest move to get off of him would cause him to snap at you. Then Karaku would go back to his relaxed state.

He can switch from calm and relaxed, then jumps to irritated and angry at the slightest things. Making it hard to judge what would set him off. It can literally be standing up too walking around without him. Not like you can explore the almost decrepit house anyways.

One other thing he does is leave punishments to the others sometimes. Too lazy to actually do it himself.

Though Zohakuten, is most likely the worst out of all of them.

Having the temperament of Sekido, the masochism of Urogi, Karaku's unpredictability and Aizetsu's gaslighting is truly the worst. Having enough power to literally bend you to his will isn't a good thing.

Zohakuten is the incarnations of Hantengu's emotions and desires. He will do whatever he wants with out hesitation. And has the audacity to turn it on you. It's your fault he's the way he is- you made him do it. He implanted this mindset that you have no idea what your doing- you need him.

Hes more level headed then Sekido- not irrationally jumping to breaking your bones into tiny little pieces. Not when he can just cage you with his blood demon art. The wood is impossibe to break without a sword or any external help. So he confidently knows your stuck.

Zohakuten would also use his Art for other things. Dragging you to him when your being 'fussy' (is what he says), or holding you in place.

He shares the staring problem. He can do so, unblinking, for hours at a time.

Surprisingly, he doesn't like making you bleed. Zohakuten would rather just restrain you than harm you himself. Though he does cut his own flesh- much like Karaku, though.

Zohakuten is parinoid, he's at least fifth in the most parinoid out of every kny yandere. If you fall ill once for an extended period of time, he starts to panic. Belive it or not they don't want you to die, so Zohakuten would impulsively turn you into a demon. Even if whatever was wrong wasn't even fatal.

Overall, each one of them are so stuck in their own delusions- that even trying to dispute what they believe would land in harsh punishments.

With all five of them- it's entirely impossible to even try escaping by yourself. It's incredibly rare that anyone would even find you anyways. Everyone who's already tried are six feet under.

They mostly don't care what your wishes are. Being selfish and in a constant state of self-victimizing causes them to lash out at you or others. Genuinely believing that they know what's best. That they are in the right and your just being manipulated or stubborn to not accept it.

A truly unfortunate fate indeed.

Thank you for waiting, sorry a lot came up and I haven't been able to get too this, I also ran out of idea halfway through... I didn't add Urami because his personality matched Hantengus way to much- though I hope you enjoyed!

´-

#yandere #yandere kny #Hantengu #Sekido #Aizetsu #yandere hantengu #upper moon four #x gn reader #non-con #abuse #Blood/Gore #anon #Méīguī-Jīn answers #mild nudity #almsot nc-cannibalism #zohakuten #karaku #urogi

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novoaa1writes · 2 years

Text

worthy

pairing(s): queen ramonda x reader, queen ramonda & okoye (platonic)

summary:

“No.” You’re quick to stop her, scurrying forth and taking her hand in yours. Speaking out of turn, laying hands upon a member of the royal family… all punishable offenses. If the Dora Milaje saw it, they’d have you face-first on the ground surrounded in a ring of gleaming spearheads before you could blink. But now, here, she is not Wakanda’s Queen. She is Ramonda—your Ramonda.

Her hand is warm and lax in yours, and the way she’s looking at you… so open, so trusting. So patient. “This is my home, s’thandwa. A place where I feel safe and loved. But it cannot be that if you do not feel it, too.”

Or: Okoye can be a little overprotective sometimes, especially when it comes to Ramonda. You cannot fault her for it.

cross-posted on ao3.

word count: ~1,600

rating: general audiences

warnings: spoilers? for wakanda forever? i guess? tbh the only “spoiler” here is just that i mention ramonda’s hair in brief detail, because it’s different from the first movie’s look. also vague allusions to reader’s past relationship(s) being not terribly fulfilling.

notes: reader’s gender is not specified here. with me, i write these with the reader-insert characters in mind being typically female, non-binary, or transmasc, but it’s really all up to you

— —

The Queen returns in a mood. The way she strides through the rounded entrance to her chambers with downturned lips and all the intrepidity of a woman on a mission is enough to tell you as much.

You’d only been lounging about in her chambers for a short time, having stopped to visit with Shuri in the laboratory on your way over.

You were not native to Wakanda; as such, your visits spanned few and far between. Though, admittedly, that had been subject to change as of late—what with your increasing… familiarity (for lack of a better term) with her Queen.

With this familiarity, you were granted certain privileges. The most obvious one being: You were permitted access to her private chambers—yes, even when they were empty. A weighty concession, to say the least.

The others, though not quite so rife with implication, were no less significant: You could walk freely around Birnin Zana as you pleased, provided you wore a set of Kimoyo beads and checked in with Ramonda—or someone she trusted—every hour or so. As guest of the Queen, you were permitted an additional (non-Wakandan) companion to Wakanda—that is, a plus-one—provided that they were vetted first by the Dora Milaje, and second by the Queen herself. You’d never exercised that particular exemption, and did not foresee a point in time that would find you doing so—but the offer was there all the same, and its connotation was not lost on you.

And so on, and so forth.

These allowances aside, your, shall we say, place in Wakanda is in its infancy, still. Fragile, one might say. Since the start, the Wakandan sentiment towards you has ranged from wary acceptance to unequivocal mistrust.

… This, as evidenced by Okoye’s unwavering presence at the doors of Ramonda’s chambers. She’s been watching you like a hawk since the moment you arrived, spear poised, ready to strike at any moment.

You’ve not bothered asking her why she does so. Despite what people seem to think, there do indeed exist stupid questions, and that would unequivocally be one of them. Similarly, you do not dare do her the injustice of attempting to offer any well-meaning sentiments, or assurances that you do not seek to do the Queen—or Wakanda—any harm. Actions speak louder than words, they say. And Okoye—who’s said scarcely more than five of them to you since your first meeting—quite plainly agrees.

You do try. You tell her ‘Hello’ and ‘Goodbye,’ and, when the setting permits, you’ll even ask her how she is, or communicate that you hope she is faring well. (More often the latter, since any question you ask of her—those excluding an official matter—are continually left unanswered.)

It helps that you’re not white, as Shuri told you. Ramonda had scoffed at her daughter’s impudence, but did not disagree.

And yet, the fact remains that you are not Wakandan—nor African, even—and before you lies a long, uphill path to gaining the Wakandan people’s esteem. For better or for worse, you are determined to climb it.

Regardless—in the present moment, you shut the book you’d been reading when Ramonda enters, turning to give her your full attention. She displays no indication that she’s noticed you, merely dismisses both of her trailing attendants and Okoye with a wave of the hand and a quiet, “Out.”

The attendants exit swiftly, and Okoye is quick to follow—though, not before giving you a look. You imagine it translates (roughly) to: If you make this worse, I will not hesitate to skewer you.

You give the barest hint of a nod in reply, but it is in vain—Okoye is gone. The doors shut behind her with a quiet noise, leaving you and the Queen alone.

Wordlessly, Ramonda divests herself of her headpiece—a gorgeous, deep-purple, crown-like thing—and discards it neatly on the dresser. Her hair is shorter these days, a neatly-trimmed ‘fro with springy, platinum-white strands. You know it was not done out of vanity, but you cannot help thinking it suits her all the same.

As you watch, her eyelids flutter shut and she lets loose a long, measured exhale. You can practically see the tension seeping out of her; the taut line of her shoulders easing, the furrow between her brows dissipating. The queenly affect, the burden of her crown—all of it seems to divest itself of her in waves. And, in its wake: the woman herself, tall and proud.

Your heart clenches, strangled with affection (and, perhaps, something stronger), but you do not speak. You dare not tarnish the moment. You know all too well that it is likely the first truly quiet moment she’s had all day.

You’re content to wait patiently until her eyelids flutter open and her calm gaze sweeps the room, seeking—

She looks down. The furrow in her brow reappears when she spots you sitting cross-legged on the carpet, her painted lips pushed out to form a frown. “S’thandwa sam,” she murmurs, “why are you sitting on the floor?”

An embarrassed flush heats your cheeks. Your skin is too dark to render it visible, but Ramonda will notice it all the same. She notices everything about you.

“I, erm…” You scramble uncouthly to your feet, cheeks aflame. “Okoye was here.” You feel quite underdressed, all of a sudden; Ramonda, a vision in her ceremonial robes before you, and you in… socks and street clothes.

Ramonda’s lips twitch with something like amusement even as she cocks a single brow and prompts, “Oh?”

Something twists in your gut. This time, it’s not anxiety. You shove it back down; tell it to take a Valium. “She… She does not trust me,” you manage.

Concern flares in Ramonda’s gaze. “You did not wish for her to see you in my bed,” she surmises, the teasing pretense having fled entirely from her tone.

“I don’t… I don’t wish for her to think that I take my…” you pause, wanting for the proper word, “position here for granted.”

Ramonda considers this for a moment. “Okoye will think what she wishes to,” she tells you gently. You nod. “But,” she adds, her features hardening as her tone grows cutting, “it is certainly not her place to make you feel unwelcome. I will speak with her—”

Warmth erupts in your chest at her sincerity. You stroke gently over the skin of her knuckles in an effort to convey it. “Okoye is protective of you—” Ramonda cocks a brow as if to say ‘You think? ’ “—but I’m sure it will not be news to you when I say it is because she loves you. I cannot fault her for that.” The ‘because I love you, too’ goes unsaid. (For now.) “To be entirely truthful, it actually reassures me, somewhat.” At Ramonda’s inquisitive glance, you shrug and add: “I know you’re in good hands.”

Ramonda’s brows creep higher up. “I am more than capable of looking after myself, you know,” she retorts, though her tone is not contentious—but rather, tinged with mirth.

“I know, my Queen—you are very strong and mighty,” you acknowledge, only partly in jest.

She doesn’t miss a beat. “And you, my little minx, are quite mouthy today.”

You feel a renewed flush heat your cheeks (again), and a telltale clench in your belly, but you refuse to let it derail you. You still have more to say, and, by the slight tilt of Ramonda’s head, she can tell.

“Maybe…” you trail off in a quiet voice, all pretense discarded. “Maybe I’m just a little protective of you, too.”

The effect is immediate: A broad, delighted grin splits Ramonda’s features. Her hand drops yours and snakes its way around your waist, the other reaching to cup your jaw and hold you like you’re something precious, something treasured.

“I will not leave you, dearest,” she soothes, tracing circles into your cheek with the pad of her thumb. “I am yours, and you are mine.”

Your throat swells with emotion, a dam bursting in your chest. You bite your lip to bear it. When you speak, your voice is hoarse, choked with oncoming tears: “No one’s ever treated me like you do,” you murmur quietly, so quietly it’s like a confession—a secret. The truth of it burns like magma in your lungs, and the tears that trace your cheeks are not nearly hot enough to match. And Ramonda—bless her—she wants to reply, seeks to comfort you, but refrains because she knows you have more to say. Because she’s listening, truly and earnestly. That just makes you want to cry even harder. “I am going to be worthy of you, Ramonda. I promise.”

“Oh, s’thandwa sam,” she murmurs, placing a feather-light kiss upon your forehead. Her fingers nudge your jaw, raising your teary-eyed gaze to meet hers. The sheer measure of love and care you see in her eyes is enough to make your heart feel as though it’s imploding in your ribcage—all butterflies and warmth and love beyond measure. “You already are.”

— —

end notes: okay, i did some reading up on xhosa language and term of endearments for the couple that i used here, and i'll toss those sources down below (along with other sources i used) if anyone's interested. (also, if you've read this, and you're knowledgeable about xhosa + have some corrections / commentary /etc., please please please do not hesitate to message me! i did my very best to make sure i wasn't throwing any terms around, or refusing to do my due diligence, but this is not an area of knowledge i'm terribly well-versed in, and as such, i'm kind of bumbling around here despite my best efforts. let me know!)

update: a special thank-you to a reader on tumblr who messaged me and corrected the xhosa terms of endearment!! i have included the updated ones below. much appreciated<3<3

s’thandwa sam | my love, love of mine s’thandwa | love, sweetheart

sources:

queen ramonda | just an extra source to inform upon ramonda's character and canonical background

symbolism behind the hairstyles in wakanda forever | a brief article about, well.... what it says on the tin

traditional south african dress | since the xhosa-speaking people are indigenous to a particular region of south africa, i wanted to look into traditional south african dress, particularly where it pertains to the marital status of a woman. but then i read up on queen ramonda's headdresses ('cause i wanted to know if i should take that part out for this fic if i wanted to make my canon a little different and say she was never married), which does indeed draw inspiration from some of the traditional headpieces worn in southern africa by married women, but in a wakandan context, it seems that her headdresses (particularly in this second film) are also to indicate her queenly status. so.... uh. yeah

“love, courtship, and marriage in africa” | this is the seventh chapter of a book titled a companion to african history (first edition). this particular chapter gives writing credits to nwanda achebe, who is one of the editors of the book. it includes pretty much what it says on the tin—traditional courting rituals and the like—along with terms of endearments in various african languages.

“wakanda forever: wakandan for emphasis” | this is an academic article written by sarah scott-nelson and alyssa penner. they delve into a sociolinguistic analysis of the use of isixhosa as a national language of black panther's fictional country of wakanda. it's a shorter read (~9 pages), and one i thought was pretty interesting!

— —

link to masterlist

#queen ramonda x reader #ramonda x reader #queen ramonda #stuff i wrote #reader-insert

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tasteslikevequill · 6 months

Text

Autism Allegories - Zane from Ninjago.

(Edited to have a cut, your welcome!)

This is intended to be a random rant due to how disheartened I was from someone else not mentioning it or regarding the topic negatively. It's a weird thing for a first post, but something with passion nonetheless.

Many stereotypes surround autistic people within different media, as well as coding of all forms within the writing. (Queer coding, Trans coding, etc.)

Most people who are actively looking for autistic representation or accidentally stumble upon it are well aware of the common male stereotype of a highly intelligent, logical, non-sarcasm-grasping young man who is most often white or cisgender.

This is common, and can still resonate with autistic people even if it is overused and doesn't represent the wide spectrum that are people with autism. (Pun intended.)

While Zane from Ninjago, (a Lego series with nearly fifteen seasons, one spin-off movie, and a new production in the making,) carries a lot of the traits that an autistic person could have. (Both in a realistic fashion and perhaps a stereotypical fashion, as robots are often coded to be neurodivergent to show them being 'unhuman' and 'different.') However, this does not come from a negative point of view in my eyes.

I think Zane is a wonderful allegory for a person with autism, they acknowledge that he's odd. But they (the team of ninjas and Sensei Wu) all take him as he is. Not accept him, because accepting something about someone implies there is something inherently wrong with them. But are content and allow him to be him.

Now, here comes the part of this that disheartened me. I looked up this same thing I am ranting on, and saw multiple people agreeing that Zane has autistic traits. All of them, however, would deny him being autistic.

Now here is the kicker. Zane cannot be autistic due to him not having human anatomy besides his resemblance to one. This is true, but he still carries the experiences and struggles that would come with someone with autism. Hence, my specific wording on him being an allegory for people with autism -- whether this was intentional or not.

As said by Oxford Languages, an allegory is "a story, poem, or picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one."

Said as well by Wikipedia, an allegory is "A literary device or artistic form, an allegory is a narrative or visual representation in which a character, place, or event can be interpreted to represent a meaning with moral or political significance." Which goes into a little more depth on the definition.

Zane is a perfect allegory when it comes to the autistic experience, as can be shown just by clips of him being himself. (Which, I will link.)

I believe this allegory is further pushed when we consider the fact that Zane has always stood out and has not been able to grasp the subcontext provided by the humans around him. Social cues can be difficult for those with autism. However, they don't make him entirely incompetent despite this.

Which is great! It's amazing! They treat him just like the other ninja in most cases, allowing him to fully feel like part of the family and not excluded.

One specific moment (which was included in the pilot) was as such:

Sensei Wu was beginning to announce Zane's ability, in which, he would respond with a showy move. Displaying his abilities. Kai, the newest member, would lean towards Cole and whisper.

"I sense this one takes things a little too seriously."

In which, Zane would respond blankly with genuine curiosity.

"You too have the gift?"

Which would bring a light chuckle from Jay. And he would explain to the curious Zane.

"He was just making a joke, Zane." Then lean in close with a mildly concerned expression. "Remember what we talked about? Your sense of humor, huh?"

Then in the most monotone voice, matter-of-factly voice, Zane would respond. "Yes, it was a joke."

With a flat "Haha." Which would earn a face palm from Jay in response.

This would serve to seperate him from the rest of the ninjas, but they would never entirely outcast him due to it. If anything, it gave him his own standing presence among them.

It was an indicator but also an endearing quality to him. If allowed to be, he is a good allegory as he most likely has the same experiences an autistic person would endure. (Being talked down to, struggling with social cues, facing judgement for who they are, and so on.)

(My laptop thought it would be funny to shut off while I was typing this, so I did loose some of my commentary. How rude.)

The negative out look I saw on this and the minor ignorance towards him as a character just made me feel icky and inspire me to do this rant. This is all I have to say for now, but Zane is very special to me in all these little clips of him being himself. (Especially when he doesn't understand gender norms!)

youtube

#Youtube #ninjago #ninjago zane #zane julien #autism #allegory

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theintrovertbean · 1 year

Note

you might've just nailed down why I cannot for the life of me feel involved into Nadia's romance. The way she talks about her family and sometimes treats MC is baffling and almost upsetting to me at times. I don't dislike her mind you, I think she's a great character, but when she starts complaining about the audacity of her family worrying about her running off as a small child… I end up liking her in other routes more than her own. Doesn't happen with any other LI. feels bad man

I see your point. She does have a unique and quite unjustified way of talking about her family that I just couldn't understand at first. I expected her siblings to be horrible people, but then Nasmira showed up, and she was possibly one of the nicest characters in the entire game. Made me look at Nadi and think, "Girl, what the hell is your problem? There's no way you are serious."

But, well, Nadia is royalty, the youngest person in her family, and she is definitely spoiled. I think those three things together ensured that baby Nadia had very little contact with children of her age. Most people in her family are much older than her, and she never really got to witness how kids are being treated outside of Prakran palaces. My point is that everyone else got treated like an adult while Nadia was babied. Only Nadia. I think she felt excluded and outlandish, like she didn't belong, not even in her family, which is not nice. Every child wants to be normal, and Nadia was the only person getting the baby treatment. She was already feeling very lonely, but that made her think she was completely alone in the world. We do know that Nadia has always yearned for companionship, and this is something that made her dream feel even farther away.

She really needs someone to bring a 9-year-old child to her and ask her if it's really okay for that tiny little thing to wander off alone in a forest. I bet that hesitantly, but Nadia would say no 😂 That is why dating an MC with younger siblings would do her good. She would finally understand the struggles of being an older sibling.

As for MC. Again, Nadia is a princess from a great nation, and whether we like it or not, even if she treats them like an equal, in theory, the canon MC is always going to be beneath her (not a bad thing if someone is into that wink wonk.) Initially, this shows in Nadia's attitude too, but I think she learns that titles aside, she and MC are both just people and nothing else in the world matters. She also realizes that despite their different titles and finances, she could learn so much from MC about being a person. That's it, just a person. Sure, countesses and princesses are people too, but their lives are so much different from a commoner's.

Nadia lives in an untouchable world where even the slightest bit of physical affection seems like the biggest crime. Would the maids dare to put a reassuring hand on the Countess' shoulder or, gayness forbid, give her a hug? Hell no, because they are fucking terrified of her and the consequences of forgetting their place. Would Nadia actually like someone to put a hand on her shoulder or give her a hug? Hell yes, but she, too, is bound to these kinds of rules and probably wouldn't even think about letting a staff member embrace her.

I'm not sure if it's still in the game, but I remember MC thinking something like they always accidentally touch with Asra because the shop is so small. MC notices that Nadia can't have it and that it makes her feel alone, but she also deserves to have physical affection in her life (this was right before their first kiss.) And this is what MC taught Nadia: that these shitty rules can get fucked, and it is okay to let (nice) people in.

I don't think she ever really looked down on MC (she pitied them at most), but she is pretty much used to bossing people around. I can understand that this was unusual for her and needed some time to adjust. Treating people like her equals is another lesson she had to learn, but I think she did succeed with that. We're gonna ignore the reversed ending because Nadia is undoubtedly superior to MC in that one.

However, in the upright ending, we have a cute, sweet, loving person looking at us like we are the most precious thing in the world, and she would do anything for us. Upright Nadia gives zero fucks about titles, riches, upbringings, or anything because she does not need any of those to love MC. At the same time, she can be herself. She no longer has to hide behind the Princess/Countess mask, she can let her walls down, just be Nadia, and love MC like there's no tomorrow.

The outer layers of her character get stripped down to reveal the kind of person that she is and she can be. She was very, very far from perfect. She was not necessarily bad at first either, but her past is questionable af. However, inside those layers, there's a woman who has been starving for love and companionship her entire life. Did she cause that starvation to herself? That's very possible. She certainly didn't make it easier for herself and the people around her. But MC must stand with Nadia at her lowest (which is the beginning of her route) to see the best version of herself she can be.

And did Nadia learn from her mistakes? Yes, she did. That is unquestionable. She did waste half of her life, but maybe that was the path she needed to take in order to open her eyes (literally.)

In the end, Nadia is a wonderful person and an amazing lover who has managed to leave the past behind for the better. Upright Nadia is baby. She went through a lot of character growth, and that's very beautiful. In the beginning, she is Countess, but in the end, she is just Nadia.

Good job, Nadi. We are proud of you.

#nadia satrinava #the arcana nadia #arcana nadia #countess nadia #nadia the arcana #nadia arcana #the arcana #I'm finally putting my analysing skills to good use

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dreadfutures · 9 months

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HELLO beloved grumpy old man tiem >:]

for Hal & Thom: "there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying"

For @dadrunkwriting

STEALTH PROMPT AND FILL.

Somewhere along the way to Serault, featuring:

Warden Commander Halevune Mahariel (aka the Windy Marcher)

Thom Rainier-made-a-Warden

Vivienne

Inquisitor Ixchel Lavellan

Agent Charter

Agent Argent (DAI multiplayer)

Warden Carver Hawke

Merrill

-:-:-

The fog lay thick across the land, moving almost imperceptibly away from Lake Celestine to take over Val Firmin, and then, perhaps, the world. That was how it felt, at least.

Rarely had Ixchel seen fog like that outside the Storm Coast, unless it was brought to a battlefield by Despair. As far as she could tell, however, no figures moved through the mist besides the members of her own caravan.

"Feels like that old ghost ship should come out of the fog at any moment," Carver muttered, and Mahariel barked out a laugh that made several of their companions jump.

"A ghost ship?" Merrill asked with surprise. "But we're so far from the ocean. Do they have large ships on this lake? Do they get a lot of bad storms?"

"No idea," said Carver. "It's a Fereldan story, anyway. Just came to mind."

Vivienne chuckled. "Is that where you get your namesake, Warden-Commander?"

Mahariel shrugged. "You would have to ask the ones who gave it to me," he demurred. Anticipating Merrill's next question, he continued: "They say when the fog is thick on the Storm Coast, an old ship called the Windline Marcher will be seen in the distance. People try to meet her but can never reach the ship before they find that they've sailed into dangerous waters and sink themselves."

He patted Merrill on the arm. "Don't ask what that has to do with the Dalish Teyrn. I haven't the foggiest."

He laughed again, and his companion's groans fell loudly upon their ears in the close confines of the mist. Their party lapsed into uneasy silence for a few moments, but that was nearly as unbearable as the harsh and unsettling sound of their own voices, and it wasn't long before someone spoke again.

"Val Firmin is a lovely, peaceful place, but it has its share of superstitions," Vivienne said. "They're not quite as provincial, I'm afraid. Ill-fortune befell the ruling house for a time. Mysterious deaths and generational bad luck drove the lady of the house to destroy her family mask--absolutely scandalous, but their fortune has since risen."

"There are new ghost stories," said Argent, and suddenly it seemed everyone wished for silence again. The agent spoke like a Tranquil, even, emotionless in her intonation, and just quiet enough that even in the closeness of the fog it required them to strain their ears. She walked along placidly, face forward and shorn head covered with her hood. She moved, like all assassins, as a ghost herself.

"Children," she said. "They say on these nights, you can hear children playing in the fog. If you follow the sounds they'll lead you to the same place, no matter where around the lake you start."

She turned her head slowly and fixed Thom with a stony look.

"It's a little road, just inside a copse of trees south of the Callier summer estate," she said.

"That's enough, agent," Charter ordered.

"It's very peaceful," Argent said neutrally.

Ixchel moved a little faster to come abreast of Thom. He hung his head, jaw clenched so tight that his beard trembled.

"I didn't realize it was here," she said softly. "I'm sorry."

Mahariel watched them, suspicious as ever. She met his eye askance, then bit her lip and looked back at Thom.

"Remember, you're a Warden now," she said. "You're paying your life twice over, Thom."

"Right," he muttered. "I'm in good company."

Carver looked back and forth between them all in confusion. "Somehow that doesn't sound like you mean it in a good way."

Thom winced. "Present company excluded. I just meant... I'm not the only man paying for a terrible crime with service to the Order."

At that, Carver's face hardened. "Well you certainly don't hold yourself like a man who's happy to've escaped a death sentence," he said. "I've met some of those. Gleeful they get license to continue on with their ways."

"No, he's one of your Andrastian sinners," Mahariel observed, predatory eyes never once leaving the side of Tom's head. Reflecting the dim mage light, he had a predatory look, as if he could see right through Thom's skull and found the hiding spot of a particularly juicy prey. "The Wardens is a rightful penance, a sacred path to redemption. But there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying."

He leaned closer, letting the light slide from his face so that his eyes seemed as flat and pale as a corpse's.

"We're dead men, Rainier," Mahariel said with a grin, too wide to reach his eyes. "This life's miserable enough without the self-flagellation, let me tell you."

#bloodied and broken bits #halevune mahariel #da drunk writing circle

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cyeayt · 10 months

Text

being autistic in the mormon church

being autistic in the mormon church was, for me at least, a weird experience. because i wasn't excluded or mocked very often, just smothered in that strange warm beige obligation. because they could tell, they knew i was different just like i did. so they held my hand, told the other children to be nice to me, to make sure i felt included. and my peers did, cause they didn't have a choice, raised to be polite and kind no matter what just like i was. so i was included and invited places, always as an afterthought or a checked box but invited nonetheless, injected into conversations and games by adults that my peers wouldn't dare contradict. 'well meaning' adults who ask me if im okay or if i want to join the group, talking down in the sweetest tones. every christmas and on every birthday they still track me down to give me a card about how much they miss my 'unique perspective', even though i always tried my hardest to fit in and say the normal things.

"Look at that one. it's different and broken, but you must be kind to it. help it stay in the light of god, because god is the only way to save it. we're good, and righteous, and its so lucky to be in the church because we're the only ones who'll ever tolerate it, because that's what god wants."

and i miss it sometimes. standing on the edge of people who i desperately want to be friends with, flitting around in the back of stores and staring at concert posters indecisively until the date has passed. never finding the right spot in a conversation to talk, never working up the courage to ask if i can come too, i miss the people who had to be nice. who had me on a little list in their mind of what they need to get to heaven.

but im never going back. because even i could feel that it was fake. i felt watched and judged and pitied at all times, by peers who would ask me if i was coming then talk amongst themselves about jokes i didnt get and shared friends i didnt know. and i may be lonely now, but id rather do the work and be awkward and sick with nerves and find people and spaces that i actually want to be in who actually want me to be there, even if it seems impossible now. id rather that than go back to that warm suffocating place, familiar like the worst kind of family.

also telling that all the adults im talking about are either women/afab people or members of the bishopric, people whose 'job' it is to be welcoming and nurturing, though these experiences are mostly from young womens so that would also be it, but even women who arent involved in the yw leadership are raised and taught and obligated to do this and i dont blame any of them but its always made me wildly uncomfortable. never as much as random men who would sit down next to me and just start talking like we knew each other tho so eh

#exmormonism #exmo #autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent #no hate pls its all highly personal to me if you find it inaccurate make your own post #this isnt good or articulate but do you get what im saying?#in other words every mormon adult talks to me like im two and wants to make sure i know where my parents are #i know this isnt just me cause ive seen the same shit with some other queer and autistic people in my ward #but sry if this doesnt fit your experience ive mostly been part of nauseatingly liberal wards in blue cities #i used to come home from activity days every week screaming and sobbing cause i started to be able to feel how different and disconnected #i was from the other kids #everyone misses me everyone wants to know what im reading everyone wants me to know that the church loves me and so wont i stay #wont i let them love me like a sick bird in a cage #and now people are nice in way that tells me im free to come back #questioning isnt a sin as long as you find the answers in god #youll be forgiven all of this if you just come back #ugh i dont even know #salt lake city #but im singing it like the 979 theme #utah #trans #nonbinary #this isnt even about that its just another internal feeling that makes me feel different #religion #religious trauma

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retlasute · 11 months

Text

॰ In The Rich Man's World ॰

Word Count: 6598

☆ Table of contents

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 7 - Luck Be A Lady

''How is your family in Naples, Gyro?'' Johnny asked, causing the Italian to gently release your hand and return to unfinished business.

''They're fine. My little sister is becoming quite a lady, you should see it! I took so long to come back here because I didn't want to spend any more time away from her and my other brothers.''

Gyro looked exultant and picked up his bag to walk with Johnny. You, uncomfortably out of place in the conversation, tried only to listen carefully to every detail; it was impossible to know how many people had the chance to hear a casual conversation between two men from the last century.

"How's it going at the Bastille Tavern?'' Gyro asked.

"More crowded than ever.'' Johnny replied. ''Of women, not customers. Madame Hildegarde and O'Shea were worried about you.''

''That place always gave me the creeps, but I like it there.'' Stiffening himself, he nodded in your direction and tried to include you in the conversation. "Are you from the Bastille Tavern, Bella?''

You reflected with a certain shyness at the immaculate compliment and at the same time with anger. Gyro certainly knew that the girls there were prostitutes, but he would continue to treat you kindly, without any hint of the barely disguised speculation that you occasionally noticed in the eyes of others. You looked at him, dusted off your trousers, and replied.

"No. I'm from Washington.''

"Oh, and what are you doing here? How do you know Johnny?''

"I...''

"Good of you to mention it, Gyro.'' Johnny interrupted you. "We have to talk about this. Are you hungry?''

"Always.'' Gyro replied, squinting his eyes with undeniable curiosity. "And what about Valkyrie? How is she? Did you bring her?''

You felt, more than heard, that the conversations that followed required no participation from you. The only thing left for you to do was to follow them and listen carefully to what they said.

First, Gyro saw his mare, Valkyrie. He somehow seemed much happier to see the animal than to see his friend, exclaiming things in Italian like ''questa è la mia amata Valkyrie!'' and this thought made you laugh a little. Later, Johnny relayed to Gyro the latest news about friends they had in common; and you were more certain that they didn't trust you, as they seemed to use codenames to refer to close friends - things like Hot Pants and Wekapipo, whatever that last name means.

Although the conversations were confusing, you tried to orient yourself. Hot Pants seemed to be some kind of military man, a soldier from the Vatican garrison who, according to Gyro, had boarded a clandestine ship and disappeared over the seas, with the vague possibility of being on any one of the other five continents.

Wekapipo, in turn also some acquaintance of the Italian army, seemed to be someone Gyro was keen to keep in touch with after all - whatever "after all" means - and you remember Gyro mentioning the man's sister.

Until then, two people you didn't know were mentioned, both members of some kind of garrison or important organization. For a brief moment, you also wondered if they had all met during the Steel Ball Run. You already knew that this event was much more than just a race; but, honestly, you weren't interested in uncovering the hostile territories of these men's past. Your focus now was on finding your friend and getting home, no matter how or where.

You couldn't help but feel offended that you were being openly excluded from the issues, but you remained quiet, not imagining that the following conversation would revolt you even more.

''So, Johnny, what are you doing with a sweetie like that if she's still single?'' Gyro asked, glancing at you and then turning his focus back to his friend.

''She's lost, and she's looking for her friend.'' Johnny explained.

''And you're helping her? You're such a good Samaritan.''

"No. We're helping her.''

Gyro was silent for a few seconds. At that moment, only the sound of the hooves of the horses behind you could be heard. You were all walking on foot to a restaurant Johnny had mentioned. Gyro looked at you disapprovingly, taking in every detail of your attire and general scruffy but much more polished appearance than the women he was used to seeing.

"Us? What are you talking about, Johnny? Give me a break... I just got here!''

"Don't worry, it won't be too hard. Remember the letter I sent about Joshua Creed two months ago? Well, his gang is here, in town, planning to rob the bank at dawn.''

''And what does her friend have to do with it?''

"She thinks that Creed's men are with her friend. I think it's quite possible, because the robbery will take place at dawn, with no employees inside, and they will need a hostage to make it work; that's why they must be with the girl.''

''And where did you find this girl?''

''In the forest east of the Bastille Tavern. She was heading toward Creed's gang camp, so I stopped her. She said she was looking for her friend in that forest. Besides... she says she's the daughter of a lawyer and had an automobile.''

Gyro's eyes widened, surprised, but he tried to focus on his train of thought.

''So the gang kidnapped her friend and traveled here with the girl alive, only to use her as a hostage? What's so special about her? Don't get me wrong, Johnny, but this story is very strange. What were the two of them doing alone in that forest?''

Johnny didn't answer, so Gyro finally remembered that you were right there, listening attentively and with an undeniable anger and feeling of being left out. He directed his question at you, arching a well-defined eyebrow.

''I don't understand why you and your friend are so valuable, both to Johnny and to that gang. If you're so valuable, a lawyer's daughter, why the hell would they leave you wandering around the woods alone with your friend?''

He stared at you intensely, like a snake trying to hypnotize a bird. However, by now, you were indignant enough to regain some of your courage and you too stared at him without averting your eyes.

"Ah...'' You said, with exaggerated courtesy. "So I'm included in this conversation? I thought you were doing very well talking about me alone. Please continue.''

The graceful line of his mouth hardened a little and the deep wrinkle at the corner deepened further, but he said nothing. Putting his answer aside, he looked ahead and surveyed the restaurant Johnny had chosen.

You went in. The restaurant room welcomed you with a smell of fried fat and a faint smile. It was a large, pretentious room with edulcorated frescoes depicting hunters in various poses and varying degrees of enchantment, surrounded by a plethora of pale animals, druids and trees. A few sparse old ladies, two religious men, and a man in a suit finished their meals in silence. The restaurant closed at seven o'clock, and the impassive waiters were cheerfully in a desperate hurry to get rid of you. Just like in Washington, you thought, feeling a twinge of longing to eat at Bistro Arachosia.

"Doesn't he look just like Glenn Miller?'' Gyro asked in a low voice, his pointed, tanned elbow not pointing, but visibly itching to point, at the jacket-wearing customer dining alone across the room.

"That famous conductor?'' Johnny asked, looking at the man.

"Yes, he looks just like him.'' He confirmed, with a hint of mirth. You remained silent.

Without blinking, Gyro pulled out a chair and sat down in front of you at one of the tables, and Johnny sat down next to him, responsible for deciding what all three of you would eat. Gyro settled down casually with one booted foot resting on the opposite knee. With this movement, over the table, you saw a pair of round, metallic, greenish objects that you hadn't noticed before. Gyro was wearing a holster, but not like those cowboys you saw in the movies; it was a custom holster for those two metallic spheres. One of the spheres dangled from his hip, and one of Gyro's elegant, aristocratic hands groped the object, causing it to stop dangling.

Without a hat, his hair was light, full, lustrous, and finely textured. It was also similar in appearance to Johnny's, but the man did not discard his blue cap with star details and an extravagant golden horseshoe.

You didn't know if all this talking and beating around the bush was intended to make you nervous – and if so, it was working – or if he just didn't know what to do with you.

The tension was eased a bit by the entrance of a waiter, bringing a tray of juice and side dishes. Still in silence, Johnny poured a glass of juice and held it out to you. Both of you remained in silence for a while, nibbling on the side dishes until the main course arrived.

''So...'' Gyro finally spoke up. ''Why the hell are you two so quiet?''

"This is a fucking torture.'' You said, almost immediately. "I need to go to the bathroom.''

Gyro was taken aback and, for some reason, could not contain his laughter at your urgency. Having dropped his mask, you listened for a few seconds to that laugh in a different tone. When it ended, he stared at you, and you were undeniably startled.

''Whatever you are, bella, at least you're amusing.'' He remarked, and with a cynical nod rang a small bell on the table.

When the waiter appeared, the Italian instructed him to lead you to the necessary facilities.

Locking the lavatory door to which you were led, you leaned weakly against it. Being away from the presence of those two men was a relief, but only for a short time. You already had ample opportunity to judge Johnny's true character, both from your assumptions and from your own experience, and you knew that he was only helping you by expecting something in return.

If he was just a pervert who expected sex in exchange for saving your friend's life, you wouldn't have bothered. You have had sex with more disgusting men for much lower prices. But there was that damned certainty that you were stuck with him and would remain so even after you found Louise. That corpse was proof of that, and now that you were no longer at the table, you could imagine that Johnny was telling Gyro all your terrible lies.

You sat on the floor, ignoring the stench while you concentrated on the problem. Escape now would be irrational; and, after finding Louise, unlikely. You thought about pretending to be ill and remaining in your refuge, but dismissed the idea – and not just because of the unpleasantness. The hard truth was that there was little point in postponing the moment when your lies would be questioned, unless you had something on your mind, that you didn't.

Frantically searching for anything useful you might know about Gyro, you came up with a name. Heard and carelessly recorded, you hoped you had the right name. It was a pitifully small card to play, but the only one you possessed. And it would be very useful depending on how the circumstances turned out.

Gyro Zeppeli. That man was intriguing. You would never imagine that the universe would be so cruel as to make you acquainted with one of Thom's research materials. You would plan to ask a few questions about the Italian to make sure he was who you thought he was – and, perhaps, blackmail him with his real name, which you remember reading in one of the documents as much as you remember Thom saying.

Iulius Caesar Zeppeli, such a pretentious name. You took a deep breath, let it out hastily, and left your sanctuary.

Luckily for you, their table was relatively far from the bathroom and they were both sitting side by side, so it would be impossible for them to see you opening the door. The gentle movement of their faces indicated that they were talking, and if you were cautious, you could hear them.

''Did she call Madre Hildegarde an old witch? What kind of monster would say that?''

"Shut up and listen, Gyro. I need her friend alive.''

"And why is that?''

Glancing ahead, you saw Johnny take something wrapped in a grimy cloth from his pocket and discreetly place it on the table. Gyro hesitated, but gently pulled the end of the cloth, lifting it to peek, and then remained absolutely silent.

The short expression of shock and disbelief that flashed across Gyro's face made it obvious that it was the eye of the corpse, as did the gentle slope of a small round shape under the cloth that was quickly picked up by Johnny and duly put away. Not only did Gyro look in shock, but you felt your throat tighten as you saw that the Italian also knew what the corpse was, judging by his face.

"That woman... (Y/N)...''

''She claims to be an archaeologist.'' Johnny interrupted him to continue explaining. ''Just like Doctor Ferdinand, remember? The one who gave the stand ability to Dio.''

''Yes, I remember.'' The Italian replied, his voice sounding deadly serious. ''Is she a stand user?''

''I don't think so, but she was lost in the forest, almost naked, drunk, and with this eye in her pocket. She told me that she called her friend to help her with some research, that they both had all the parts of the corpse, and then (Y/N) woke up without her friend, without the corpse, and without the... car.''

''Archaeologist... I wonder... if she works for the government?''

''The government wouldn't hire a woman.''

At this point, if this wasn't a prank being broadcast on national television, you were going insane. You had no idea who or what they were talking about, and the urge to look around for cameras was inevitable. Your search being frustrated, you returned your attention to the conversation.

''And there's more... her friend is a widow, her name is Louise.''

"So what?''

''Her husband... her supposed dead husband is called Luca Brando.''

''What?!''

With Gyro's sudden jolt, the whole restaurant stared at him and you retreated behind one of the walls but kept listening.

''Brando? Are you sure, Johnny?''

"Yes. If she's telling the truth, which I doubt very much, we're going to have to ask this Louise some questions.''

"Don't you think you might be jumping the gun? There are a lot of people named Brando out there. And as far as Hot Pants told me, Dio has no family. I mean... only one father, Dario Brando, but they say Dio killed him after the race.''

''I know this... maybe it's just coincidence, yes, but these two women were with the corpse and (Y/N) acts too strange to be just a lawyer's daughter or a lost archaeologist. I'm telling you, Gyro, something is really wrong...''

''Now I understand... What else?''

''I heard that Creed's gang is hiding on the second floor of the gunsmith's store. The third floor is a clandestine gambling spot. Louise is probably being held hostage there, and is holding the corpse.''

''Why would this gang keep the corpse? I don't think they would believe it's that valuable. They're just outlaws, you know...''

"Joshua Creed has ties to the government. He was a military man, he tried to become a politician, so he has a decent education.''

''But that doesn't mean anything, Johnny, he's robbing banks and hiding out in the woods with other rednecks. I don't think the other members of the gang are also well-educated ex-military men.''

''They don't have to be. Joshua may still have ties to the government... you know... with Dio.''

Gyro was silent for a few seconds, analyzing Johnny's hypothesis.

''Well... maybe you're right. I had forgotten that Dio... Ah, shit. What the hell were those two women doing with the corpse?!''

''That's what I'm trying to find out.''

At that very moment, a hurried waiter bumped into you, waving a tray with what looked like the order Johnny had made. Some glasses clinked, but didn't fall over, and you and the waiter apologized to each other in unison. The commotion drew the attention of much of the restaurant, including Gyro and Johnny, who looked back and waited for you to sit back down at the table. The silence was again restored by the time you returned.

In the hours of that crazy trip you had taken, you had no doubt been a laughable failure when it came to being a good liar – or at least telling a decent enough lie to keep you from having to say "I came from the future" to those two cowboys.

But now, Gyro and Johnny didn't say anything. The waiter served a substantial meal that resembled the quality of a packed lunch. You looked at Gyro, his gaze slipping from the window to your untouched plate and back to the window, while Johnny made no secret of staring at you. It was getting dark and the imminence of the scheduled assault was increasingly alarming. You leaned back in your chair and invigorated yourself with big sips of a refreshing juice, while you watched the two men eat.

"I'll be right back.'' Johnny said, breaking the silence as he stood up.

Gyro frowned, confused, but Johnny didn't give him time to ask any questions, and you weren't interested in what he was going to do. Then Johnny simply walked away, leaving you two alone, with a silence interrupted by the clinking of silverware.

Seemingly friendly, you cautiously glance at each other out of the corner of your eyes. Two best friends and a stranger. Gyro was the focal point of you and Johnny being there, tacit, around which your thoughts revolved. If you wanted to find your friend and get home, you had to trust these two men.

The shared years joined them forever, like the wefts of a cloth, but the loops of the fabric were loose, from absence and suspicion, then from your intrusion. Johnny and Gyro's threads had been in this fabric from the beginning, yours was new. How would the tensions act in this new warp, one thread against the other?

Your conversations were about trivial matters, but with the unspoken words clearly audible below.

"Did you and Johnny meet in that race?'' You broke the silence, repeating the question that Johnny hadn't answered before.

"Huh?'' He rested his fork on his plate, surprised by the sound of your voice.

''Steel Ball Run. The transcontinental race of 1890.''

''Ah, yes.'' Gyro replied. ''We met at the first stage, in San Diego.''

We've been partners since the beginning. Our friendship lasted long before we discovered this corpse. What are you, stranger, doing here?

"Johnny says you're an archeologist.'' He continued.

"Yes, I am.''

And in the distant future, you'll be my research subject.

"So you study ancient things? Fossils and relics?''

''Almost... I imagine he already told you about the corpse.''

"Yes, he did.''

''I study atypical phenomena of nature and incorrupt bodies. In this case... corpses of saints or mummies.''

That's what I'm doing here, working, although against my will.

''Johnny said that you called Madame Hildegarde a witch.''

He offers you lodging and food, and this is how you repay?

''She thought I was a prostitute. Besides, she's not very friendly. I'm not a prostitute and I don't accept being treated like one.''

It's all just a big misunderstanding, but I was the first to have my honor hurt.

And so the conversation continued until Johnny returned, on general subjects, exchanging small information, opinions, light and hesitant jokes, evaluating each other. A well-born, highly educated, skilled and strong European, he was not someone to be evaluated lightly and superficially. You wondered what he was thinking about you, but he seemed as capable as Johnny of hiding his thoughts when he decided to.

"What do you think Johnny's doing?''

''He's probably talking to the manager. Looking for information.'' He answered calmly. "He'll be right back.''

You didn't answer but looked around for Johnny's figure standing at a counter where the manager was resting, as Gyro had said. The Italian, by the way, was looking at you carefully, his face with a soft expression of suspicion and amusement. He was good-natured, yes. His voice was melodic, too quiet for a man of his size, not the deep voice you would expect from such a large chest.

Johnny returned to the table, stopping halfway down to look suspiciously around. You and Gyro were silent by now, and that didn't change with Johnny's return. This particularly bothered you. You had heard them talking quietly in your absence and knew that the real cause of this uncomfortable silence was you, only you.

"What time is it?'' You asked, not knowing exactly to whom. You just wanted to say something.

"Six-thirty.'' Johnny answered after a brief glance at his wristwatch.

"And when do we go after that gang?''

"Eat, then we'll talk about it.''

''You don't have to worry about spoiling my appetite, because I don't have one. What do you intend to do?''

"Nothing you need to know.''

"What?'' You couldn't hide your surprise. "We have a deal, I'm coming with you and I need to know!''

"Deal? We don't have a deal.'' Johnny replied dryly. ''We'll drop you off at a hotel, we'll bring your friend and you'll answer some questions.''

You swallowed hard, forcing down the bitter bile that had risen in your throat, mixed with the sip of juice. Johnny sipped his juice, pleased with himself.

''Have you forgotten about the corpse?'' You whispered angrily, approaching the center of the table like a snake. "I have all the parts of the corpse, and I still have a lot more information about it. Project Ecclesiastes, Devil's Palm, Thomas Foster, the identity of the corpse... I'm absolutely sure that you don't know even ten percent of what I know about it.''

''Devil's Palm?'' Gyro cut in. ''What the hell do you know about it, woman?''

You weren't too surprised that he knew what the Devil's Palm was because you knew that it was a very common legend from the Old West.

"Everything. I can track the Devil's Palm anywhere.'' You explained, exempting yourself from complex terms like satellites, computers, and radars.

"And what makes us sure you're not lying again?''

You stared for a moment at Gyro, who seemed focused on his plate of spaghetti. For a moment you felt sorry for ruining the peaceful meal.

"You two are from the Steel Ball Run. You sent letters to the Vatican asking about the corpse in 1890.'' You said, with deliberate confidence, mentioning the date as if it weren't two years ago. Clinging to the hope that you could prove something with your knowledge. ''Actually, more specifically you, Gyro Zeppeli, sent a series of letters to the Vatican mentioning your goal of collecting all the parts along the race, as well as questioning the true identity of the... saint. You arrived on this continent in March 1890, using a false identity, and decided to take part in a race that was in fact a grand corrupt and terrorist scheme, don't you?''

Gyro spilled the juice on his lap and made some very gratifying noises.

You clicked your tongue in disapproval, looking at Johnny, who now seemed to have been taken by surprise.

The Italian calmed down, looking at you furiously. There wasn't much juice in the glass, but it remained overturned, its orange contents soaking the light green carpet, but he made no movement toward the bell on the table. A small muscle bulged in the side of his neck.

You find the stack of napkins in the corner of the table and take one, handing it to Gyro.

"I hope it doesn't stain.'' You said gently.

"No.'' Gyro said, ignoring the napkin, and looking at you intently. "How the hell do you know that? It's not possible, I burned the letters!''

"Why isn't it possible?'' You asked, feigning bravery, wondering what wouldn't be possible.

''Who the hell are you? And who the hell is your friend?'' Johnny questioned, with a strong frown.

"Who's Dio?'' You retorted, and Johnny seemed a little angrier at this question. Meanwhile, Gyro laughed with a tone of incredulity.

"You're kidding, aren't you, lady? You claim to know so much... and you don't know who Dio is? I don't know, Johnny... she sounds a lot like some friend of that bastard. She's saying things a henchman would say.''

"If a woman was working for the government, they would have informed me.'' Johnny clarified, not taking his eyes off you. ''And if she was working for Dio, why the hell would she act so ridiculous?''

''You said yourself that her friend is the widow of a man named Luca Brando! Why the hell did you bring that woman here, Johnny?''

"Can't you see she's lying about most of the things she says? The problem is to find out what is true and what is not...''

''Oh, but she wasn't lying when she talked about me!''

At this point, you were confused again. The only thing you could assume was that Dio was probably some rival connected to the government, since Joshua Creed has possible contacts with this man. Whatever the case, you remained silent.

''Is she testing us? As a spy?'' Johnny continued as if randomly suggesting, and you prepared to stand in one jump if necessary. Gyro's fists were clenched at his sides and lightly touched the metal spheres – whatever they were used for, they were capable of causing quite a bit of head trauma, and you wanted to stay away from that.

''She must be testing our credulity. Or my tolerance for irritation. Both, bella, are extremely weak.'' His green eyes narrowed speculatively, and you mentally prepared yourself.

"I'm not lying.'' You said. "I know a lot more than you realize, and knowledge is the price I'm willing to pay in exchange for my friend's life! I don't want to waste any more time!''

''And why should I believe you? Johnny is a fool, I know that, but I'm not like him. My friend here hasn't convinced me to help you yet, bella, so now it's your turn to try. Don't think we'll go easy on you just because you're a woman.''

At that moment, every impression of chivalry Gyro had built up crumbled in your mind, and an irrational feeling of anger naturally cultivated in your chest by your time of fighting chauvinistic and misogynistic pigs bubbled up. Courtesy and natural feminine incantations would not work with those two men. The only card left for you was buried in the rubble of your memory.

''What kind of gentleman threatens a woman like that?'' You asked courteously.

''A gentleman with foresight.''

Your eyes were half-lidded with bravery as you stared at Gyro, analyzing his face as if your mind were a biometric database.

''I have read several military and informal dispatches that mention this corpse. The vast majority were sent during 116 days. From September 1890 to January 1891, during the Steel Ball Run. One of the letters sent to the Vatican was addressed to Gyro Zeppeli. At first, I thought it was some archaeologist, but my friend did some brief research about a long Italian line called Zeppeli and about the firstborn of a man named Gregorio Zeppeli, who arrived on this continent six months before the race. When Johnny said your name, I didn't believe it was you, but I have no doubt. If I am not crazy... it is you. And I know your real name. I know who you are.''

Gyro, livid with shock, stood up in a jolt and pounded his fist on the table, shaking the extensive array of decorations and cutlery placed on it. A deep murmur of alarm was heard from the restaurant patrons, and the parallel conversations in the background ceased, all eyes focused on Gyro.

The Italian's situation couldn't be worse: his pants were soaked with juice and now everyone was looking at him and his sudden outburst of anger. Gratified, you remained paralyzed, not moving a single muscle or taking your eyes off Gyro. Like a deer staring at the headlights of a car. Even Johnny looked stunned but managed to contain himself and make Gyro sit down again.

''You little bitch...'' Gyro muttered, almost like a growl, and you could understand now what the sudden hatred meant. ''Don't you ever repeat those words out loud again, if you feel love for your life. Johnny's right, you have a lot of questions to answer, cagna.''

You took a deep breath in a way that, under different circumstances, would have sounded elegant, and stood up immediately after dismissing your plate of food. Closing your eyes, you gritted your teeth and clung to your anger. It was the only thing you had to fight fear. There was an air of intense anticipation as you looked at the two men, punctuated by the murmurs of the customers, and soon ceased as you walked towards the exit.

Walking along the restaurant's neatly trimmed facade, you leaned against a lamppost – for a second, you quickly looked up to see if it was a electrical pole, but were frustrated to see only a small lamplight atop the wooden stump – and rummaged through your pockets for some cigarettes. At first, you felt your wallet too, but out of habit you ignored it and pulled out a cigarette, ready to light it.

As you placed the cigarette between your lips to light it, you remembered that you had lost your lighter and had no match. You huffed and rolled your eyes, looking around. Behind you, just around the corner, was a familiar man. The same customer in the jacket that Gyro had been mocking when he entered the restaurant. He lit a cigarette, without putting out the match, and the smoke he exhaled through his nostrils reminded you of a pair of ivory tusks.

You smiled sweetly at him, which startled him a little when he saw that you were a woman in unpolished clothes. Your sense of vanity was deeply wounded by that startled male gaze – you were used to excessive courtesies from men like that.

"Excuse me, could you light my cigarette?'' You asked, holding out the cigarette to him.

"Of course, lady.'' He smiled and did so, then bowed politely with his hat.

Politely you thanked him and started to take a drag on your cigarette, and the man stood there.

''Oh, sorry to bother you...'' You spoke again. "But I'm new in town. Do you know where the gunsmith is?''

"The gunsmith?'' The man let out smoke through his nose as he spoke. ''It's east of town, near the general store. It's the biggest building, you'll know when you see it.''

"Alright... thank you very much, sir.'' You smiled again and saw his cheeks blush softly, but you ignored it and said goodbye to the man, turning the corner.

It was getting dark, the preface to a warm and dark night somewhere in New Jersey. Occasionally, a horse would pass, and you would always look for some rewarding sight of a car or motorcycle. The taillights turning down, the white lights moving forward, or the soft rumble of the engines... but the city seemed dead. No one strolled and laughed on the sidewalks as would have been the customary leisure of the sweet, grey, rotten 20th-century places. You enjoyed the innocent night and your terrible thoughts alone as you turned corners in hurried steps, fearing that Johnny and Gyro were looking for you.

A metal receptacle on the corner described with extreme thoroughness the types of products an establishment sold: sheets, paper, ink, cloths... A tailor's shop. Letters of a cherry-red color signaled a drugstore. A green, illuminated clock rested in the back of one of the few open establishments, surrounded by revolvers, crocodile heads, bear paws, and other crappy trophies on the walls. That seemed to be the gunsmith's store.

How many little towns in the dead of night had you seen? This would not be your last one.

You let yourself lose a little more time, the gunsmith was practically inactive. Across the street, you could see all the customers coming in and out of the place. All men, some in suits, others in beat-up clothes; most of them smoked pipes, and all of them, without exception, were armed. You noticed a curious pattern in a certain group of men who were dressed in the same way – a rustic gray suit, no hats, no ties, and business shoes with spurs.

"Why would anyone wear spurs in formal wear?'' You muttered softly to yourself, throwing the cigarette butt on the floor and stepping on it. It wasn't the same without your heels.

"They're getting ready to get on their horses and run away.'' Said a voice beside you, plunged into the darkness of an alley.

It was impossible to describe the impact of an instantaneous vision in a string of words. Your startle was reduced to a sharp exclamation that was soon contained by a hand on your shoulder. The touch startled you even more, and you turned around, giving a quick jab with your arm to defend yourself. Johnny deftly ducked, avoiding the slap, and snorted, somewhat surprised.

''Wow... is that what they teach you in archeology class?'' He sneered, standing up and looking at you.

"Yeah... my professor's name was James Bond.'' You sneered with a certain tone of irritation. "How did you find me?''

"Where else would you go?''

You pressed your lips together, holding back a rude and inappropriate response for a 19th-century woman. Your focus now was on being patient and astute. Johnny and Gyro didn't seem to be the kind of duo who made foolproof plans for action; neither of them even possessed weapons. The most weapon you ever saw Johnny handle was a hunting knife, while Gyro had those strange steel balls. They were about to do an unarmed operation inside a gun store.

"What do you intend to do?'' You asked, taking your time to find Gyro's silhouette sitting on a crate in the dark corner of the alley.

''Wait and study the place.'' Johnny replied.

"I meant when the time comes, during the robbery. What are you going to do?''

"Beat the crap out of them and get your friend, of course.'' Gyro intruded in the background.

"And how the hell do you intend to do that? Where are your weapons?''

Gyro muttered something, and Johnny let out a nasal laugh along with him. You didn't understand the reason for the joke, but you didn't say anything.

"Trust us.'' Johnny said, looking at the gunsmith.

"What about me? I may need to protect myself, can't I even carry a knife?''

''Your tongue is sharp enough, you can use it as a knife.'' Gyro said. ''You'll be fine.''

"Fine.'' You replied between your teeth, not too calm. You stretched out your hand, indicating the weapons in the gunsmith. "But it's no more effective than a gun. I know how to load and fire a pistol.''

"No way.'' Johnny said, seriously and firmly. You were a bit puzzled by his answer.

"Why not?''

''Because you are a woman, bella.'' Gyro replied.

You felt your face turn red.

"Oh, yeah?'' You exclaimed ironically. "You think women can't understand how a gun works?''

The Italian looked at you without changing, his mouth twisting slightly as he considered various answers.

"I feel like making you go into that store, buy a gun and try it out.'' He said, finally. ''It would serve you right.''

Johnny clicked his tongue, annoyed with the two of you.

''Don't be a fool, Gyro. As for you, (Y/N)...'' Johnny said, turning to you. ''It's not that women are stupid, it's that they're weak.''

"Oh?'' You looked at him perplexed for a moment, without understanding.

Gyro let out a loud breath and pulled one of his steel spheres from its holster. Viewed up close, it was huge, and he held it out in front of you.

"Look.'' He said, indicating for you to hold the sphere.

It was not an absurdly heavy object; but much heavier than you expected. When Gyro released the sphere in your hand, your arm came down with a jerk and then returned to its original position with a slight effort.

''It's no heavier than a loaded pistol.'' He said, reminding you that the guns of that era were, in fact, cruder than the ones you used to see in movies or on policemen's belts. ''And it's not enough just to load and fire. You need support, stability, and your arm dropped like a rag doll when you held my steel ball. You don't know how to use a gun.''

You stared at him in disbelief, and he took the steel ball back and put it in its holster.

''When you pull the trigger, the gun recoil like a mule. I'm a lot stronger than you are, and a gun recoil can hurt me pretty bad if I can't handle it; it should knock you flat on your back if it doesn't hit your face.'' He continued his explanation with a gentle tone of debauchery. ''I'd let you see for yourself, but I like you better with all your teeth. You must have a nice smile, even though you're always grumpy.''

The comment served as a lesson and you accepted without discussion the opinion of the two men that even the slightest proximity to some conflict was too dangerous for a woman like you. Johnny's small knife was deemed acceptable and he gave it to you, a sharp, pointed object with a lethal appearance. You felt the blade, and Gyro looked at you with deep doubt.

"Are you sure you're going to leave her armed, Johnny?''

''She's right, it can be dangerous to leave her alone with no way to defend herself, especially when we're dealing with Joshua Creed.''

''Hm... I still think the only good weapon for a woman is poison.''

''Maybe.'' Johnny retorted. ''But it has its disadvantages in hand-to-hand combat.''

#johnny joestar #diego brando x reader #gyro zeppeli #gyro x reader #jjba part 7 #jojos bizzare adventure #ao3fic #diego brando #steel ball run #johnny x reader

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queensconquest · 2 years

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@acandlelitdeath said: All the jacks for chrollo

( CARD SUIT HEADCANONS )

Jack of Hearts - How does your muse view their friends, both old and new? Chrollo doesn’t really make friends. It’s just him and the troupe. That said , Chrollo does care deeply for those who’ve been been beside him , which is most of the troupe with a few exceptions. Even those who weren’t original members , like Kalluto for example , he can come to care about. There are exceptions. Hisoka was one of his troupe members but he knew Hisoka wanted to fight him and did not truly trust Hisoka beyond actions. But he cares in his own way for them. He values them both as resources , troupe members , and as friends / family in a way. He trusts in their abilites and trusts them.

Chrollo isn’t a very emotional person. But those close to him know the signs and subtle ways that Chrollo shows he cares. And his friends are an area where strong emotions can be evoked , albeit only under extreme circumstances like death. Chrollo doesn’t lose his head when it does , but he has mourned over the loss of Troupe members. He has been furious. But at the same time , Chrollo will still abide by the rules of the Troupe and he won’t risk the cost of everyone else just for one. Despite being the leader , he will not go against his own rules. The thing with Chrollo is that he struggles with any sort of personal identity. Most of the troupe reflect an aspect of him , they are a part of him.

When it comes to new members , Chrollo is distant until they catch his interest and attention. He isn’t rude and he doesn’t make them feel excluded from within the troupe ; everyone is equal. But it takes time for him to really open up. He’s not afraid of being hurt , he just isn’t a very open or emotive person , so it’s a matter of getting there.

Jack of Clubs - How far could the one closest to them go before they decide to stand against them? Honestly , a fair bit. Chrollo isn’t easily bothered. They could even want to kill him and it wouldn’t particularly bother him. But do not kill his spiders. Do not try to crush the spider , or he and everyone beside him will hunt the one closest down to kill them. And Chrollo won’t hesitate. It doesn’t matter how much he cared ; if you are a threat to the spider then he will cut you down without remorse. He may mourn a bit after , but then he’s moving on. Things like letting a secret slip , sharing something personal , disagreeing with him ? It doesn’t really bother him. He’ll just warn them to not get in his way. Listen if you value your life , or don’t and perish.

Jack of Spades - What is the rudest thing your muse has ever done? Honestly , probably just ignoring people. He’s not intentionally rude , though he’s definitely intentionally cheeky and impudent at ties. But he’s not very rude.

Jack of Diamonds - Does your muse use unreliable methods for “high risk high reward” gains or do they go the safe route with things? It would depend , and in a way it’s both. Chrollo is a very strategic person , so in a way he’s safe. He doesn’t rush into matters without thinking of various situations and ways to approach something. He knows his members and his own capabilities and he works with that. But one can also argue he does “ high risk high reward “ considering Chrollo made enemies of just about every mafia in the world when the Phantom Troupe robbed the underground auction , had the 10 dons assassinated , and murdered the leaders of a bunch of other mafias ( well not personally , he had other troupe members do it ). So obviously that was high risk high reward , being able to steal all these valuable treasures as well as making such vast amounts of enemies. But it was all carefully and strategically planned. It LOOKS high risk high reward , and there’s always the risk of dying , and to anyone else even if they’ve heard the rumors of the Phantom Troupe they would think it’s INSANE , but Chrollo does put lots of thought into it and is very quick to adapt if situations change. So it’s a bit of both.

#acandlelitdeath #he is many things #but rude is not really one of them #cruel and sadistic yes but rude??? no #not particularly #〉a history as blank as a journal〈 — ᛭ ⌜chrollo headcanon⌟

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lovehealgrow · 2 years

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Coping with Family Estrangement During the Holidays

The holidays are so often tied inherently to the idea of a family gathering around a table, visiting relatives, and having joyous conversations with loved ones. But this “typical” idea of the holidays is not realistic for many people — especially those who have been estranged from their families.

Individuals who are estranged from a member or few members of their family may be expected to join family get-togethers and “get over” the estrangement as if it is something as simple as an argument that happened during childhood. But conversely, some individuals may be estranged from an entire family and be left out of holiday plans, gatherings, and even stories.

No matter the extent of your estranged relationship, the holidays can be challenging and full of mixed emotions. Today, we’re going to look into why estrangement happens, its effects on an individual’s mental health, and some tips for coping during the festive holiday season.

How Does Estrangement Happen?

In general, the circumstances around estrangement will vary from situation to situation. However, one thing that is often the case is that estrangements are rarely mutual. Often, the individual estranged from a family member or family may not even know why.

Estrangement is an intentional decision. It is not the same as drifting apart from an old friend. With estrangement, it is a conscious and intentional decision to cut ties and sever communication. People of all ages, genders, and opinions may become estranged from members of their families. One example of a community with a high level of estranged relationships is the LGBTQ+ community. Some community members may have cut ties with their families of origin and joined their chosen families. Others may have become estranged from their families due to disownment or trans/homophobia of relatives.

The Effects of Estrangement on Mental Health

We grow up with sayings like “blood is thicker than water” and “there is nothing more important than family.” But what if family isn’t forever. What if you are excluded from and even ignored by your family? This exclusion that comes with being estranged from family can take a heavy toll on our mental health.

Estranged individuals — whether they cut the ties themselves or were forced out of the family — often carry heavy feelings of grief and loss. Some may feel regret or guilt, while others may feel only loneliness and anger. Of course, what you feel will depend on your situation and your personal emotions. But one thing is for sure, estrangement can damage your mental health — especially if you do not know any healthy coping mechanisms.

Tips for Coping with Estrangement During the Holidays

Now, without further ado, here are some tips for coping with family estrangement during this winter holiday.

Recognize Your Feelings

Remember that you are entitled to any and all feelings that you are experiencing. While these feelings may not be pleasant, they reflect your emotions and accepting them is crucial.

Estrangement is complicated, painful, and often way too much for us to handle on our own. Because of this, many of us may push off the feelings — saying things like “I need to get over it” or “I should be fine with this by now” — but this is not helpful. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions, whether they are sadness, guilt, anger, or anything else, and realize that they will not last forever.

Be Gentle

We touched on this just a little bit above, but more than anything, you need to be caring and accepting of yourself and the feelings you are going through. Especially if we are recently estranged, we can have a tendency to blame others or (more commonly) ourselves. Blame gets you nowhere, and the longer you spend in that accusatory mentality, the harder it can be to let go and move on.

Make a Plan

Sometimes it might seem like going into the holiday season with no plan, but “relax” is the best idea ever — especially if, up until the holidays, your work or school schedule is packed. But, in reality, we often get bored after just a day or two of “relaxing”. The last thing you want for your holiday is to be left bored with nothing to look forward to and no one to see.

To prevent this from happening to you, make plans in advance. Maybe plan a night out with your friends sometimes when you’re all around. Plan a trip to the spa for a lovely holiday-time pampering. There are tons of things that you can plan that are relaxing and fun to stave off that boredom and loneliness you may feel if you’re just “relaxing” at home.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

It can be tempting to stay holed up in your home, avoid people, and ignore the festivities around you. Unfortunately, this is not going to make anything better. Humans are inherently social creatures; when we hide away from others and allow ourselves to be alone, we usually end up feeling worse than we did before.

So, rather than isolating yourself, spend time with friends — hang out with people you care about and who care about you. Focus on connecting with your chosen family.

Opt for Healthy Hobbies

Picking up weightlifting, running, boxing, or any other form of physical exercise can be a great way to release some of your pent-up emotions healthily. If you’re not feeling like doing a whole bunch of physical activity, you can also try doing a more mentally stimulating exercise, such as meditation or yoga.

The goal here is to try and devote some of your time to doing something for your body. When we get stressed or experience severe emotions, it can be beneficial to opt for activities that bring our focus to our bodies.

Come Up with a Script

If you are still spending the holidays with your family, there may be some topics you’d rather not discuss. We all know that even if they mean well, sometimes family and friends can be less sensitive than we’d like them to be. But, if you prepare a script that you can say when that topic comes up, you can deal with the situation much more effectively than if you were trying to come up with something on the spot.

This does not have to be a long script by any means. No one is expecting you to delve into a Shakespearean monologue. But, having a simple answer and moving on can be a great way to notify family and friends that this might not be the best topic for the dinner table this year.

Seek Support

We’ve touched on this before, but recognize that being alone and trying to solve everything on your own is simply not going to be as effective (or pleasant) as engaging with others. Maybe you can call a trusted friend who you can talk to about what you are going through.

If you would like more professional advice and personalized guidance about how you can better cope with and process the feelings you are going through, you can also reach out to a therapist. Therapists can be excellent sources of support, acceptance, and guidance on how to healthily process your emotions and improve your life. So, if you think you could use additional guidance before (or after) the holiday season, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at Love Heal Grow.

#Coping #Counseling #Estrangement #Family Therapy #Holidays

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kathyprior4200 · 2 years

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Spirit Guiding 101

(Excerpt from the “Universal Bible:” Akashic Ascendance – Making the Most out of your Eternal Existence.” by God Source. Co-authored by Jesus, Mohamed, Joseph, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Gabriel, Auset, Buddha, Braham, Hekate, Gaia, et al. Published by M. Fraserian Records (two white feathers logo).

Being a soul isn’t just relaxing on clouds, singing, and playing on harps. If you’re lucky enough to have the ability to actually exist after death in the afterlife, you’ll have divine tasks to do along with your relaxation and recovery from your mortal experience. These divine tasks are perfectly suited to your evolution, personality, and desires. Think of them less like Earth office jobs and more like fun versions of community service tasks. What is the one thing every soul desires to do and eventually will do?

Look after their living loved ones of course!

Yes, you heard that right…our connections are not severed by death and realm separation. It is so strong that it is our soul instinct to make sure those we care about are okay. Being dead isn’t all too different from being alive on Earth (save for the increased universal knowledge and special superhuman psychic powers! You can travel anywhere and manipulate energy to your will.) Yes, you can relax and relive your glorious moments from your various Earth lifetimes. But after your recovery stage, when your soul family is ready to evolve again, that’s when the divine work begins. Don’t worry…here in Heaven you’ll have access to countless beings (animals, deities, aliens, guides, angels etc. and even your alternate selves, who love to watch you succeed and grow.) Why do we all keep growing and incarnating?

And why do the laws and lessons and tasks revolve around mortals and humans on Earth?

Because God wants us to love, grow, expand, and succeed. And God knows each and every one of us will merge with Them again and reach enlightenment and be with God until the end of time and beyond when God will reach Their power, end the universe and start it again. But it’s not a race in a timeless world, and not when each of our souls cannot be compared…we change at our own pace.

What can you expect from these tasks? Lots of fun, lots of learning (and yes, a lot of energy paperwork and approval). But as you handled your jobs on Earth, your godlike powers will ensue you thrive and help you survive on your next journey.

- ALL SOUL DUTIES (Excluding angels, deities and divine beings)

- Life Reviews and Reviews of Life Reviews/Akashic Records before the incarnations of any soul family member

- Mortal Realm Simulations – We know that these are redundant and annoying, but they are a prerequisite no matter who you are. Whether you are incarnating or not, you’ll all need to let’s say annually in Earth time, feel what’s it’s like to be mortal. Experience (the energy) of Earth food and drink and sex (even though it’s not as genuine as the real thing, I know…there are things about being alive that every dead soul is jealous of!) Yes, all souls must also go through various types of pain and deaths at random, just like life on Earth. (Accidents, fires, drowning, disease etc. You won’t expect them and it’ll be up to other souls to either provide healing or help ease in the ‘death transition.’ It won’t kill you, but our dense-energy gravity simulation rooms perfectly mimic various environments on other planets, including Earth. You’ll also need to describe and briefly adapt to any Earth emotions like arousal, pain, heartbreak, anger, hatred etc. You will be scored on these!

- Telepathy/Teleportation Tests – Being able to efficiently travel between worlds is essential for your journeys. Mortal souls will find it hard to communicate with you, as both you and them must calm their vibrations. (Spirits lowering theirs and mortals raising their vibration is a bit of a misdemeanor, as the spirit world is not above the mortal realm but within it.) You will learn how to effectively send signs of mortals: mental pictures, feelings, and voices to ears. Any inappropriate messages or those that interfere with mortal timelines will result in write-ups. Souls will practice on other souls in Earth-simulated environments. You will need this communications training to properly look after your loved ones on Earth.

- Transition Training – Whether you’re a spirit guide, an ancestor, or about to be incarnated, the transitions of birth and death between worlds are jarring for every soul to go through. For birth, the incarnating soul goes through the veil and undergoes a memory wipe of all past lives and experiences in the spirit world. This ensues that the soul only learns in that specific lifetime with no bias nor remembrance of past mistakes. It would be too overwhelming for the human mind. In special cases when the wipe doesn’t completely take effect, special spirit guides are assigned to help the mortal with past life nightmares/memories and newfound psychic abilities at young ages. Most of the time, these memories fade with more time on Earth. The soul carefully merges with the mind and energy of the host baby, usually having nine Earth months to adjust to and merge permanently with their human host. The soul’s connection to the spirit world usually remains until about human age of 3 or 4, after which it fades away but is never lost completely.

Birth – Birth and death are two opposites, one cannot exist without the other. After a soul’s memory is erased, the soul shrinks down painfully through the portal, it then descends rapidly into the host body and begins the merging process. Once the being is born, the merging is complete. The being is overwhelmed by noise, bright lights and is utterly helpless. It is up to the parents and caregivers to care for the soul while it adjusts to the weakened form. There is a reason why all souls start as babies…babies must be formed biologically in the mother’s womb, and the soul must have enough time to adjust to the much denser world of Earth. Forming in an adult body right away would result in confusion and no growth. Moreover, possession of another’s body without permission is forbidden. Only souls who have chosen a compatible body will succeed.

Death- Death is the complete opposite of birth. It can be called birth 2.0, a rebirth or a reverse birth. Unlike birth, there are many ways to exit the living world, some more painful than others. The reason is that leaving the world can result in a variety of lessons…to embrace change and how valuable life is. But the end result is the same. After the last breath, the soul usually exits through the head, taking all the memories and experiences and traits of its human host with them. Only an empty shell of a body remains. Unlike birth, death is actually the easier transition in the long run. With birth, the soul shrinks to fit, with death, the soul expands upward and outward. The soul is then guided “toward the light” through the portal by family members and guides to the spirit world. All memories of past lives, the spirit world and the previous earth life are restored after going through the veil again. After the soul has learned it’s lesson from the Life Review, it is then welcomed back to it’s true home with open arms.

A note about grief: Grief is hard for any soul to endure, and we all must do so. You know that people grieve when a loved one dies on Earth while the spirit world celebrates their return. But did you know that when a baby is celebrated for being born on Earth, the spirit family temporarily grieves after the soul incarnates? Yes, it’s true…we are not happy all the time. In fact, it can take a while for spirit guides and family members to adjust to the world difference. Why? Because the sad fact of their family members on Earth forgetting the existence of their loved ones and guides in Heaven is very painful. But keep in mind that grief is a lot easier for souls to overcome than it is for humans...mostly because humans are restrained by the illusion of time.

But if you ever have thoughts of nonexistence as a soul, please talk with your trustworthy guide/counselor. A private session with God always helps as well…Believe it or not, God (the genderless Universe Source) is more divine than the love between mothers and babies and all living things, more erotic than the greatest climaxes in sex and greater than all the love and fun moments you’ve experienced while alive. No joke.

- Formulation of Soul Contracts (Must be approved by God, Master Guides and the Council) Incarnating souls acknowledge the place, birth date, time and personality traits they have chosen for their incarnation. They acknowledge that “there is a likely chance of them living in poverty, having a disability, being with negative souls etc.” but only God knows their complete life and what will happen. Souls plan their lives but much of it is purposefully kept from them. If souls knew they’d be with abusive families or have certain disabilities or deaths, then they wouldn’t take the risk of going to Earth! Their soul family members will also communicate with them, role switching each incarnation. (Mother to child to lover etc.) They acknowledge that their human thoughts can make them do good or bad things. Most of all, they acknowledge their free will and their willingness to love and learn as much as possible for a faster evolution. The more they live, the closer they get to God and their true self. They also acknowledge that they will die in their centuries and go through cleansing/purgatory via the Life Review. Their soul signature/soul name/soul ID: consists of a unique glowing Light Language symbol (like a fingerprint) around their crown chakra that identifies all past selves as aspects of the same soul and shows their unique frequency.

Forms:

- Soul Contract – new ones created for every incarnation. Must have mutual agreement between spirit guide, incarnating client, Master Guides and Council. God will determine entry and exit points for incarnating soul. Must have signatures of soul family, spirit guides, incarnating soul and Council. Will be activated by God before soul birth.

- Proof/documentation of at least 5 successful mortal incarnations (either successful helping of client from spirit world or both guide and client experiencing Earth.) Must be approved by God, Master Guides and Council. Also demonstrate lessons learned and quality of life … remember that’s more important than the number of lives you’ve lived!

- Spirit Guide Entrance Exam (for all human-oriented guides) – Get out your Akashic Records, guides! Before becoming a guide for a human incarnation, you must demonstrate your knowledge of your client’s most likely lived life beforehand. Know that your soul client has granted you permission to look through their future life records beforehand (though of course, only God knows the times of death, birth, and other important factors). Bear in mind that unlike animals, plants, bacteria etc. Humans are unpredictable and complex. Thus, what would you do if a human feels lost or strays from their path? How would you gently guide your human client through life without dominance or scaring them? Be sure you are able to adequately answer and demonstrate your reasonings.

NOTE: All Spirit Guides must re-take and review this exam before any new human incarnation. Must have a B + or better. Incarnating souls will begin their own preparations before their journeys, including their own exams, pleasure and pain simulations, eating simulations and life planning. Soul progress and comparisons with other souls will be erased from the minds of souls after the exams, only for the records of the instructors, so the souls don’t have to worry about comparing themselves and their auras to other souls on higher levels. (Because everyone is unique, and labels are so Earth-centuries!)

Spirit Guides: More than divine gurus

Do you think you have what it takes to be a spirit guide?

No, you cannot just gain knowledge and look after a loved one and call yourself an official “spirit guide.” Official spirit guides go under special training, and the job is not for every soul. Spirit guides are not just helpful teachers, they are a deep part of the soul family. Why is it harder to do such an important task?

Like a counselor who decides to work with a teenager or client they do not know, a spirit guide volunteers to watch over a mortal they do not know personally. Or more accurately, the mortal does not know the spirit guide in their lifetime. The guide is a complete stranger but is qualified and trusted enough to have information about the mortal’s life and personality…even before the mortal’s birth! (The mortal soul consented to it, despite the memory erasure)

Not only must the client and the spirit guide choose each other based on energy compatibility and agree to the terms, the spirit guide must demonstrate their skills and loyalty to their client through interactions in both the living and the spirit worlds. Plus, they need to have permission from God, the Council and higher guides to ensure things go smoothly. It takes a lot of work to raise a foster child or teach a group of individuals over a long period of time, or help a person go through rehab. It is similar with spirit guides…just with more psychic and supernatural elements involved. (Add in the extra problem of the mortal’s memory erasure, thus the guide is often left to watch the mortal and learn from afar. The guide is not restrained by time, so there is no need for sleep, food, or boredom. To spirits, watching mortals is like watching their beloved movie characters on a high definition interactive screen.)

Some guides choose mortals based on interests – maybe both guide and client loved to make art on Earth. Or a guide will help a mortal with addiction issues, like alcohol or drugs so the guide can learn from their previous life mistakes. By helping a mortal, the guide can make amends for their mistakes while alive, and thus evolve further. Or a guide will just know that a client is for them with no explanation. The spirit guides will shapeshift into loved ones, animals, mythical figures and other things in the mortal’s mind to help them, since communication is nearly impossible for most mortals. Plus, it is easier than full-body apparitions. Spirit guides used to be mortal and human as well with their own guides over several lives (their own guides who may raise up to Master Guide/Ascended Master)…so it seems natural that they’d want to return the favor and continue the divine student-teacher cycle.

Each mortal has a team of guides, including spirit family members who can all exist in many places at once. They guide the mortal until the mortal leaves Earth, then they help them transition to the spirit world. Although the mortal has strong bonds with family members and soulmates who have been with them in many lifetimes, it is the Primary Guide who has been with the mortal soul in all its lifetimes, thus the privileges and wisdom granted to the Primary Guide leader.

Duties: (Primary spirit guide) be a leader of mortal’s chosen spirit team, including collaborating with spirit family members during client’s earth lifetime

Shapeshift into appropriate forms that client’s subconscious mind will connect with the easiest (ex. Butterflies, human wise figure, religious figure, certain animal or plant for when client lives as that animal or plant etc.)

Acknowledge that mortal client will 98% not be able to see or sense your presence but still help them evolve as best as you can, closest as to how the soul client before birth requested. (ex. If soul before birth wanted to learn music, forgiveness and justice, help guide them to opportunities to express their musical talents and desire for equality in relationships.

Although you know all the events and thoughts that will likely happen for your client, know that you cannot interfere with their free will, even if your client does lots of damage (murder etc.)

You may travel elsewhere for evolution and reporting of your findings to the Master Guides, Angels and Grand Council, but as your client can transition to death at any moment, always ensure their spirit family and other guides are watching over them.

Spirit Guide/Ascended Master Prerequisites:

- (Primary Guide) – permission from God to help soul and experience at least five successful interactions with soul client (5 successful lifetimes with client on a mortal physical world (Earth as a requirement) and at least 5 lifetimes with both you and client on a physical world.) Aid in soul’s creation from God’s band of light, to God’s dark purple flame light (universe’s version of the womb for souls), to time in soul nursery/Hall of Souls, to personality development.

- In spirit world, adjust energy alignment with spirit guide and client/s, and other frequency adjustments of both soul energies to prepare for next incarnations. Will further be confirmed by God, Master Guides and Council.

- (Master Guides) – after successful incarnations along with Ascended Masters, your duty is to oversee progress of all Spirit Guide types, Primary, Secondary etc. as well as humanity and Earth life as a whole. Will collaborate with Grand Council, Old Ones/Archangels of God and God.

- (Ascended Masters) (Jesus, Durga, Mary, St. Germain, Kwan Yin, Buddha, Abraham, Auset, Braham, Hekate, Matt Fraser etc.) – Contribute to the lessons of humanity and Earth as a whole, regardless of human race, gender, religion and culture. Can be done in an incarnation or from the spirit world. Aid humanity in raising vibrations, instilling peace and valuable lessons. Being along the higher levels means more power and closeness to God, but make sure no one gets left behind, for you mission is to help us become One, united.

- (For all guides) – Healing, greeting and review for each time a soul comes from death and recovers. No interfering of mortals’ free will, even if mortal client strays from their path and lessons, as all lessons will be reviewed and amended. Review of soul’s life lessons and restoration of memories. Ensure that entering soul helps to make amends for mistakes made on Earth and guide them to help loved ones and descendants on Earth.

- Teleportation, telepathy, world adjustment and other trainings, supervised under Master Guides, Ascended Masters etc. between client’s incarnations.

- (Secondary Guides) – permission from God, Council, Master Guides and Primary Guide to aid in soul client development. Must have experienced several successful earthly incarnations, including living human lives. Secondary Guides can do shifts from client to loved ones, animals, and others. (Note: the first souls on Earth and other planets aka. Bacteria, plants, cavemen etc. had celestial guides)

- (Primary Guide and Gatekeeper Guide) – ensure that no dark energy or malevolent spirit invades the aura, mind, and body of your soul client to the best of your power. Dark souls take advantage of the mortal’s oblivious nature and convince them to do harm for their own purposes and desires.

- Collaborate with angels to either help mortal client avoid obstacles or ease the death transition. Due to specializations and contract, the Primary Guide is connected to and must watch their mortal client and their mortal client alone.

Your Primary Spirit Guide Duties:

(Primary Guide) – Due to the strong bond with soul client over many lifetimes on Earth (as animals and humans), all Primary Spirit Guides will not only help guide their mortal clients, but also learn from them and remember the feeling of living a mortal life. Thus, the Primary Guide will also feel the thoughts, pleasures and pains of their singular mortal client during each incarnation, including the phantom pains of their deaths to strengthen the bond and feelings of mortality.

A Note on Bonding Levels: The bond with Primary Guide and client is on par with the strength of the bond between soulmates and soul families. The second most powerful bond in the universe is the bond of the soul with its past life selves and human selves due to the fact that the soul is a mini-God for all their mortal selves and the merging of the soul with the human body and mind, is a fragile but connected bond that transcends any other and is unique to the universe. The soul and the living host experiences pleasures, pains, and lessons simultaneously, contributing to the fastest form of evolution and bonding. Not even the spiritual elite can fully comprehend such a mortal fragile bond without experiencing it themselves. Apart from God, the Soul automatically knows its own self versions completely, more than family, angels and guides. (No one knows you better than yourself and this applies to the soul as well). The strongest bond of all is our bond with God and everything.

Guardian Angel, Deity and Angel Essential Duties:

1 Managing the cosmos and planetary movements.

2 Interfering with energy and mortal events under God’s permission. (Including humans, aliens, animals etc.)

3 Overseeing the actions and duties of the Old Ones, Grand Council, Master Guides and regular souls.

4 Creation of new planets and life forms under God’s instruction.

5 Assistance to all souls to reach enlightenment at their own pace.

6. Recording the Akashic records/Books of Life of all mortals, ensuring that only appropriate information is available to both the mortal and their spiritual team. (No information on death dates, causes, etc. it is confidential. Free will and proper timelines are essential as it is the will of God.)

#mattfraserpsychicmedium

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yallmakemyassitch · 2 years

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Okay how 'bout we try something a little different.

For Mid Fight Masses! R, L, Q, F, T and either U or D. For Selever, Sarvante and Rasazy. (Excluding Ruv mainly to go along with the canon that he's not ticklish)

Alright, this should be fun! I haven't done any MFM characters before (only once) so it'll be cool to do this =)

Headcanons✨

R - Lee or ler, what is generally their main role?

Selever: He has ler energy 200% but let's be real, this man is a lee by heart. He's a great ler but as a lee, all that bravado melts away and next thing you're met with is a giggling teenager, begging for you to stop. He's adorable, who would stop?

Sarvente: She is canonically ticklish according to the mfm's wiki page but on a serious note, while not a lee often has that ler aura lingering behind that sweet smile of hers. She has two children so of course she would be a motherly tickler. Nibbles, raspberries, kisses, anything a child would love to experience from their mother.

Rasazy: Rasazy is so mysterious that nobody can really pinpoint, nor give her a direct role. She could be both, one or the other, neither, it doesn't matter. It'd be best if you hadn't tried for yourself, she's quite powerful and could likely turn you into a pile of dust if she wanted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Q - Their response to the question ‘are you ticklish’?

Selever: "Uh yeah, duh???"

The guy is so confident that he'd be entirely honest, This causes the person asking to be taken off guard since they expected some sort of reaction like a blush or scowl but none of that happens. By then he's laughing in their face and makes fun of you for reaching the way you did. Don't try to tickle him either since he can see that shit from a mile away and is already prepared to scatter, along with the fact he can fly so it's gonna be hard to catch him.

Sarvente: "To be sincere my dear saint, I am ticklish. Why do you ask, kind stranger?"

She'll flutter her eyelashes at you all innocent, blissfully unaware of the grave she just dug for herself. Sarv isn't the smartest individual so when you approach her to tickle her, she'll just take that as a invitation for a hug, and a hug she'll give. Until you tickle her and she's shrieking.

Rasazy:

Rasazy won't respond, only staring at you and if you try to make a move , for a split second, her eyes will flash a blue and pink color. It'll be so quick you almost wonder if you're seeing things but once you see she's looks much more threatening, that is a warning you should take it.

F - What is their behavior in a tickle fight like?

Selever: He lives alone in The Nothing World with his sister, so that means no friends or other family members to be with. Tickle fights rarely occur between the two and if they do, they often end in disaster. He acts very predatory and skulks around the place, looking for Rasazy and teasing her to death while doing it, fully aware she can hear him from wherever she's hiding.

Sarvente: She is a wonderful partner to have in a tickle fight. Sarv is very trusting, making her victims easy to capture. She respects your boundaries and will stop if you say so but very thorough in what she's doing.

Rasazy: Not the type to participate and will typically quietly observe or just walk away. If Rasazy is somehow convinced to join than well consider it an instant loss. Despite her petite stature and innocence, she is very powerful and capable of 'restrainment magic'✨, bless your soul if you fall victim to her. Very merciless but will drop you once you've reached your limit. Maybe she'll comment that it was fun and even smile a bit before walking away.

T - Their most favorite methods of teasing their lee/ler?

Selever: He likes to feel in control and will make sure you know you aren't escaping unless he says so. Your struggles for mercy and your begging only inflate his ego, so he's absolutely gonna tease you more about it to hear your delicious cries for mercy. "You can't handle it? Aw, well that too fuckin' bad, suck it up! I ain't stopping anytime soon..." Selever will call you names like a crybaby but means no ill will and that only means he's having fun tickling you. You're likely enjoying it too and if he ever catches wind of this, he's never letting this go and will constantly taunt you for it, poking you randomly all around the place, leaving you a vicious cycle of hypertickilishness (it'll go away in 3-4 business days).

Sarvente: As a holy figure, she won't be as merciless as you think her to be. She's rather kind but because of her naivety, Sarv doesn't necessarily know when she's being a tease. She likes to point them out for her lee to hear and finds it cute when they get flustered. Sarv almost does this to catalog their victims so next time a tickle fight breaks out, she'll know exactly what to do and where to target.

Rasazy: Razy doesn't verbally tease. She is completely nonverbal and only watches her lee struggle and squeal quietly. Physically however is a different ball park. Rasazy will slowly poke her way up, almost like a itsy bitsy spider and relishes in the fact you're screaming a whole lot more.

U - Do they have some unusual tickle spots? Where?

Selever: The spot right between the wings and the shoulder blades. Those spots are the bane of his existence and he can't stand it when it's touched or tickled. But it's not his fault he breaks out in a fit or giggles or even cackled when you just happen to dig in.

Sarvente: Her hands are quite sensitive so imagine what it's like when they are even in any sort of contact. Hand holding with her freaking husband is a hassle since she has this stupidly large grin on her face and she's giggling like a fool. Ruv one time decided enough was enough and investigated it, very thoroughly examining her hand to see what made her tick. Ruv's finger gently tracing her palm would be too much for her and she yanking and pulling at it, begging for him to stop.

"Da, there is nothing to worry about I was just-"

"R-RUV! Nohohohoho!"

Rasazy: Beneath her chin. Hardly anybody knows this (except Selever's rat ass) but under her chin could get quite the giggle and even a blush if you're lucky enough. Rasazy actually enjoys it and likes the feeling of fingers caressing her chin, more brownie points if you manage to get her neck. Because of her reserved nature, nobody knows about it except Selever. Even though he's a little shit sometimes, he promises to keep her secret and often uses her chin to make her smile a bit if she's feeling a bit down. Selever is a greater brother than you think he is :3

D - What is there most ticklish spot?

Selever: A good way to catch him off guard is to sneak up on him, and one of best areas to start are his armpits. Dude squeals like a little girl before his cackling is all that fills the room, it is extremely loud! He can't even fight back because of how much is tickles and isn't even focused on revenge, only getting it to stop.

Sarvente: Ribs, sides, and hips. Attack any of those and she'll shriek at the top of her lungs. She refuses to remember the time Ruv was trying to get her attention during a church service and squeezed her side. The ensuing scream jumpscared everyone in the room, even herself a bit. Ruv sometimes subtly teases her about it and even wiggles his fingers a bit, much to her embarrassment.

Rasazy: Remember what I said about her chin and neck well, if you manage to make it down to her collarbone is when she really starts to react. This is only area where she genuinely laughs with a bright smile on her face. She can't focus enough on her powers to activate so she has to take it until the ler (Selever) stops. He finds this to be super intriguing and even nibbled on them before, much to her ticklish misfortune. Nibbles and raspberries are where they are actually effective and Rasazy is trying to push you off with a blush across her face. Once you'll stop depending on who you are, she won't send you through the roof.

#fnf tickling #lee selever #ler selever #lee sarvente #ler sarvente #lee rasazy #ler rasazy #mid fight masses #friday night funkin #headcanons #ask answered #anon

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gralunaisland · 2 years

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if you were writing fairy tail how would you go about developing Graylu as an endgame couple?

Endgame GraLu

Thank you so much for asking! I think I talked about that a little already if you want to check out my other #gralu posts on my blog, but as for how I would develop them? That's a good, hard question. I feel like my answer might not be satisfying, but I’ll give it a shot! This won’t really be as fluffy or fanfic-y as my other posts, just me kinda spitballing about it.

After they started dating, (here's a mini fic about how I might write that and how their relationship might look like in this post, I highly suggest you read that and this post about why like GraLu for a full understanding of why/how they’d work as an endgame couple), I would have Lucy and Gray finally confront juvia and the guild for their mistreatment of Gray. All that gaslighting by their guild-mates and juvia's incessant slobbering over him--yeah that's gotta end first and foremost. Lucy certainly wouldn’t accept it, and would stand up to everyone on his behalf. Gray would draw from her impetuous strength and would also finally put his foot down and not humor juvia any more.

I'd want them to have the time to develop more of a relationship: going on quests and jobs alone together, exploring the world, just hanging out, learning how to synchronize their magic etc. They basically would need more one-on-one time, which they would enjoy immensely no matter what they did, but since they both love their guild so much, they wouldn't leave the guild and would still spend a lot of time with Fairy Tail. I think they’d still go on tons of adventures with Team Natsu because they are Team Natsu. UNLIKE SOMEONE, they can have lives outside of their romance.

Lots of people would definitely tease them about it, from Happy to Mira to Erza to basically everyone (I’d imagine Natsu would be a mite jealous so he wouldn’t), but they all would agree that each completes the other.

I don’t think the two of them would act that lovey-dovey in public ie in front of Fairy Tail members. It’s not so much that they’re too embarrassed—though Lucy definitely gets embarrassed by all the teasing and constantly has to tell people to shut it—it’s more because when they’re with the guild, they like to enjoy the community and wouldn’t want to act like they’re excluding others or in their own world. Their friends are their family after all. Dating wouldn’t change that.

juvia would have a hard time accepting this as you’d imagine, might even try to kill the two of them as she’s shown to be capable of attempting several times before, and might just in the end up and leave the guild (if she isn’t expelled because of her trying to hurt Gray and Lucy), plotting vengeance one way or another. Lucy would be relieved just for Gray’s sake; she’s not the jealous type after all. Gray would be relieved for his own sake too haha, might feel bad for her though because he’s a big softie sometimes, but Lucy grounds him well, affirming him and letting him know he’s safer now.

Anyway, if I was the author, I’d just make more sweet moments between them. I think they already have the perfect basis for a relationship, being best friends who can joke and be themselves with each other, so barely anything would have to change, just the amount of moments really.

In the manga I’m not sure I’d go as far as to show how they get married, though I’d definitely want them to be eventually. If I did though, I think it would be really cute if they had the wedding in the cold mountains of Gray’s hometown to honor Ur and his parents who couldn’t be there. This would’ve been Lucy’s idea. They would have ways of keeping the guests warm through magic I’m sure. Lucy would have a custom made winter wedding dress, and Gray would wear a black suit (going naked is going a bit too far in honoring Ur haha). Everyone from Fairy Tail and the guilds that they both have friends in would come, and there’d be lots of tears. Aquarius would find a way to be there despite her broken key, huffing and saying it was about time Lucy got married, but also crying nonstop. It’d be funny if during their first dance, Gray danced like he did in the Eclipse Celestial Spirit arc with Cancer, but maybe that’s too comedic haha.

After the reception, I think Gray and Lucy would honeymoon by traveling all over the country and beyond. They would first make sure to visit the graves of Layla and Jude, and then to Isvan to Silver’s to pay their respects, but then the sky’s the limit on their honeymoon adventure.

Idk how much time one could spend on that since there are other characters and storylines to be written, so that might be it for that lil arc.

Both of them definitely want to have kids. Gray wants to be the father he lost so young. He doesn’t want his children to feel as helpless as he did, and wants to protect them like Ur protected him. Lucy also wants to be the mother she lost so young, being just like Layla and teaching her children to be kind no matter what. She really appreciates it how she doesn’t have to worry about Gray becoming like her father, and yet she would only tell her kids about all the good things Jude did.

They wouldn’t have children super soon—they’re only teens in the anime anyway—and I’m sure they’d have lots of work to do saving the world time and again, but when they did, while still in their prime ofc, I’d want to break the trope of having one boy and one girl, so I think I’d have them have both boys and maybe they’d be twins. They might name them Urek and Layland to honor Ur and Layla (yes yes lots of honoring their parents/parent figures but they were really important to these two you know?) One would have Gray’s eye shape and the other something more similar to Lucy’s but not quite bc her eyes are too big for an anime dude, but maybe both of their eyes are a deep brown, and one had blonde and the other had black hair. (Maybe I’ll try to draw these two!)

I feel like this was a really brain dead post of mine, but I tried spurring my sleepy brain to put something down, so please forgive the randomness of it TvT Please send another ask if you’re not satisfied and wanted something specific!

#now I wanna draw gray’s and lucy’s kids though 0.0 #askgraluna #anti gruvia #ask #gray fullbuster #anon #gralu #graylu #defend gray fullbuster #anti juvia #anti juvia loxar #anti juvia lockser #fairy tail #gray x lucy #gray fullbuster x lucy heartfilia #gralunaessay #lucy heartfilia #defend lucy heartfilia

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animeomegas · 3 years

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(infertile alpha request) oh, sorry! Preferably Naruto, Death Note or Obey me

(Thank you so much for clarifying! I’ve done Naruto and Death Note 💓 Enjoy!)

Naruto – He is a bit sad when he hears the news. He definitely wanted to adopt at least one child, so he’s not sad about never having children, because he knows he still can easily, but he was kinda really looking forward to being pregnant. He wanted to know what it was like, all the things he’d seen other couples go through (ultrasounds, cravings, birth classes), and it’s a little startling to have that dream suddenly ripped away from him. He’s not comfortable with any other conception methods, so he adopts all his children. But, when he’s cuddled up with his three adopted children, he can’t believe he was ever upset about not having biological children, and the thought that having biological children would have stopped him adopting all of his current children makes him feel sick because he can’t imagine a life without all his precious pups. Where would they be if he didn’t adopt them? Naruto decides that it was better this way, in the end.

Sasuke canon – Sasuke is very conflicted, at first. He had been clinging onto this dream of reviving his clan since he was a child, but now the only person he could ever tolerate having sex with can’t give him that… He’s not getting a donor, no way. There are no orphans from his clan to adopt. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, there seems to be no good answer. In the end, I think he would decide to just never use birth control and see what happens. The chances may be extremely slim, but he’s not comfortable with any other conception method, so it’s this or nothing. It might actually be quite a good experience for Sasuke in the end, because he is finally forced to examine some of the goals he clung to as a child to keep himself from breaking down and see if they are something he ever actually wanted. He might think about what life would have been like with his own pup occasionally, but he’s never been as happy as he is with his alpha and that is more than good enough for him (but not good enough for the council who harass him about having as many children as possible, constantly.)

Sasuke non-massacre AU – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal tbh. He got himself sterilised while he was in his early twenties because he didn’t want to deal with the possibility of getting pregnant, and he had to fight his clan for it! So, he’s glad that you won’t have to do that same, but it’s easier for alphas anyway. If you’re in a relationship with him, then you obviously don’t want pups, so he doesn’t think much about it. He’s like “Oh, okay,” then ends the discussion.

Shikamaru – This might be a problem… His child will be the next clan leader and they have to be of his blood, as is clan tradition. He would probably have to go for a donor to get pregnant, probably some distant clan member he’s never met before, but he feels really weird about it. He doesn’t like it, but he bites his tongue for once and gets on with it. He keeps it a secret from most people. The other biological parent is a clan member, so he just lets people believe that Shikamaru’s Nara genes were super strong, and that’s why there’s none of his alpha in their pup. I don’t think he would ever tell his pup that they weren’t biologically the child of both of their parents, he doesn’t think it matters and he doesn’t want to cause drama or have to involve the other bio parent if his pup asks after them. It’s better left as a family secret.

Shino – His situation is similar to Shikamaru’s. His child will be the next clan leader and in order to have a kikaichu and be trained like his clanmates, they have to be biologically an Aburame. Shino is also not comfortable with other conception methods, but mainly because he’s terrified of his alpha rejecting the pup if they aren’t theirs or reacting badly if Shino is pregnant with someone else. Some alphas have a hard time with those instincts and can’t accept non-biological pups or get violent when their mate is carrying someone else’s offspring. Shino is pretty scared. He also is so humiliated during the invasive insemination procedure. In the end, he had nothing to worry about, as his alpha was the perfect parent to their pup, but for about a year, Shino is constantly stressed that everything is going to change suddenly, and his mate will snap and leave them or something. It’s a tough time for him.

Neji – He’s actually quite relieved. It makes him feel a lot less guilty for his own fertility problems. If you’re both sterile, he’s sad that you’re both lacking something you want, but it makes dealing with his own problems easier. There are many orphans in the clan, so you both adopt from that pool, and Neji couldn’t be happier and prouder of his children.

Kakashi – Thank fuck for that. He got sterilised when he was in ANBU, just in case he had any missions that involved seduction. Kakashi might make a joke about how you’re lucky that you got to avoid the hospital and still be sterile. He wishes lol. Anything that helps him remain childless is good in his book.

Iruka – He makes sure his mate isn’t upset, but Iruka himself is totally fine. He wouldn’t mind not having children at all, and if they both decided to have children, Iruka would want to adopt anyway. He thinks it makes so much more sense to adopt when there are so many pups who need loving homes. He does get a little sad if his mate is sad though, but only out of empathy, not because he himself is sad.

Itachi canon – It is very helpful for him. While Itachi has issues with his heat and his health, he doesn’t have many problems getting pregnant, he just can't carry to term. And birth control is hard as a missing nin, so he’s very glad that he doesn’t have to worry about it. (Miscarriages are not fun, and with a fertile mate he would certainly have suffered through a few). It’s better for him this way, his circumstances prevent him from having children anyway.

Itachi non-massacre AU – He’s devastated. He doesn’t blame his alpha at all, but he’s very upset. His clan will never let him adopt, if they're losing one of their best shinobi to stay at home and raise children, those children better be the new top shinobi, so they have to be his biological children. He using artificial insemination, and he uses the sperm of another Uchiha (one that he's not directly related to). The clan elders are overjoyed that Itachi's pups will be 100% Uchiha blood rather than mixed. But Itachi is very, very firm about making legal protections for his mate as their pups' parent. He doesn't want his clan to pull anything to try and exclude his alpha or claim that his mate doesn't have authority over their own child. He's very firm about those conditions.

Sai – Huh, well, he hadn’t given pups much thought tbh. He’s totally okay with not having children, he genuinely doesn’t care that much. He likes it just being his alpha and him, so why change it?

Gaara – He’s another one who is completely devastated when he hears the news, but he is very stoic about it on the outside because he wants to be a good support for his alpha who might be struggling. He really mourns being able to carry his alpha’s pups. He doesn’t want to adopt because he really wants to carry a pup and breastfeed and everything, but he’s also worried about his alpha feeling betrayed or excluded if he goes for a sperm donor. He’s desperate for his own children, two at least, so he wants to use a sperm donor.

...

L – He nods and files it away in his brain with all the other information about his beloved, but he doesn’t file it as important. You have already agreed to not have children, so it doesn’t matter either way.

Light – Hmm, this is a problem for his plan. He needs someone to take over the perfect world he’s creating, and he was planning on it being the biological child of him and his mate. Well, it needs to be his child, but it doesn’t matter too much if it’s also his alpha’s biological child. Light isn’t comfortable with artificial insemination, but he’s down for seducing one of his fangirls/fanboys and using them. He wouldn’t tell them that the pup is theirs though because he doesn’t want to be tied down to someone he can’t stand. If they got too suspicious that his pup was theirs, they might find themselves the victims of a mysterious death.

Matsuda – He’s distraught for you and himself. He’s a very traditional person who wants traditional things, a couple of kids, a nice house, a dog, that kind of thing. He would want to try every possible method to conceive naturally, but after two years going back and forth between various fertility clinics, it’s clear that he’s not going to get what he wants. Matsuda goes back and forth between various other methods but eventually decides to adopt an infant. He never really stops hoping that he’ll magically become pregnant, but that doesn’t mean he loves his child any less, because he absolutely dotes on them.

#headcanons #a/b/o #omegaverse #death note #naruto #omega!l #omega!light #omega!matsuda #omega!naruto #omega!sasuke #omega!shikamaru #omega!shino #omega!kakashi #omega!neji #omega!iruka #omega!itachi #omega!gaara #asks #tw: infertility

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kyberphilosopher · 3 years

Text

Rᴀɴᴄᴏʀ

While the Titans make their way through the district of Trost, a wounded soldier makes an unexpected discovery. Word Count: 4098 Requested: yes! Warnings: violence.

“The word rancor is best when you're not just talking about anger, you're talking about a deep, twisted bitter type of anger in your heart. The open rancor in political discussion prevents cooperation between political parties.

The most helpful way to remember rancor with all its dark, miserable bitterness is to think of how rancor rhymes with canker, as in canker sore, the horrible painful burning on your lip. Or, you might want to remind yourself that rancor has its roots in the word rancid meaning "rotten." Rancor refers particularly to the sort of ill-will associated with resentment, envy, slow-brewing anger, and a very personal sort of hatred.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Fuck. It hurts.

You collapse into a kneel. Your left knee scuffs against the damp, cold ground, dirtying the leg of your pants and the top of your boot. As your right hand prods the side of your torso, hot, burning pain courses through your veins with a spark. It feels almost as if the entire area is on fire, which you’re able to identify from the time your friend Jean accidentally caused you to burn your elbow over a candle at dinner.

Still, this is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. This pain... your ribs must be broken. Fuck.

“Shit,” you hiss to yourself through tight teeth. The hand on your abdomen strengthens its grip against the skin as your head rears back to look up to the sky. It’s cloudy grey, with absolutely no light from the sun peeking through. At first glance, the clouds appear to you as a muddy shade of blue. However, the longer you stare at them, the more you think they might be a cool purple-gray. It’s going to rain, soon.

It’s too dangerous, being on the ground like this. The tall buildings surrounding you, added to the isolation of the entire premises, makes you feel like you’re at the bottom of a valley. If only you’d been able to catch your balance on the roof.

Squad 29. Part of the vanguard, although the six of you had only been cadets. None of you were within the top ten. In fact, you’d chalked up your assigned position to just being extra bodies used to buy extra time. Completely expendable.

Although you’d managed to graduate 15th in your division, the other members of the squad hadn’t heeded your advice. They were a rather close knit group of friends, excluding you and one of the other boys. But those four had been committed to barreling head first into the titan’s mouths, regardless of what better plans there could’ve been to come up with. One of them died immediately.

You, the most physically adept of the group, killed two titans on your own, and aided in one assist. Then, you and Finn were attempting on taking down a thirteen meter, when an abnormal swatted the both of you like mere flies. You cleared the air, smacking into a distant tiled roof before you could fire an anchor to steady yourself. Even though you attempted to physically compose your legs, you rolled over the side and onto an abandoned market stall. When it broke under you, you dragged yourself to the middle of the street- where you are now.

But you can’t move. Every intake of air is a piercing stab to your lungs, a thorn in your side, literally. Beads of sweat are beginning to break across your temples, intensified with the concentration of your knitted brows.

If your ODM gear isn’t broken on some miracle, then how will you survive? You received basic medical lessons, but you’re no healer. If you ran into a healer, would they even help you? Compared to Hanna and Franz, or those friends you’d been assigned with, your life wasn’t worth much. You weren’t associated closely with anyone in the 104th, and you’d neither written, nor received letters from your family in well over three years. The irony is that you’d always thought being a lone wolf had more pros than cons. And now, you may pay the price for it.

Pop. A single drop of rain erupts in the center of your eyebrows. The first promise of an oncoming storm.

Your eyes flutter to a close briefly, before reopening. The smell of petrichor floods your senses, invigorating you with memories of spring and dirt. It’s enough to make you want to stand up and finally anchor your way to the high ground, but the slightest movement inflames your ribs all over again. And so no matter how much you wish you weren’t, you clutch the left side of your stomach in the middle of a lonely stone street, crippled in on yourself as you tremble in silent pain.

Sheets of rain begin to fall, reminding you that natural forces are never far behind. However, it’s not colorful like spring, or pleasant to associate with, like dirt. It’s icy and stark, drenching your hair and clothes in a matter of seconds.

Get up, you order yourself, but your body does not obey. Get. Up.

You’ve got more problems than just your ribs. The stiller you are, the more body parts you begin to realize are worse for the wear. Your left wrist feels stiff, like a wheel that can’t rotate full circle. Your right ankle feels limp, like a glass structure on the verge of shattering. But the main problem is in your lungs, because of the damage to your bones. It’s possible that you stabbed your own innards, and now you’re slowly dying. You need that medical attention.

A particularly sharp inhale turns to a wheeze. “Fuck,” you mutter hoarsely, digging the soles of your boots into the ground beneath you to solidify yourself.

Little pebbles between the cracks of the hard surface begin to bounce softly, like little tremors. A steady pace of booms fill the air, and the stench of death walks around the corner.

Lifting your head slightly and craning your neck to the right, you see the shadow of a large, ten meter titan lumbering towards you. With matted, dusty blond hair to its shoulders, you can make out the stain of thick redness running down its potbelly stomach, slowly washing away in the rain.

“No,” you struggle, now clambering to force yourself off the ground. “Come on- fuck.”

You’re going to die. You’re going to die- you’re going to die. You’re going to die, and they won’t even find your body. You’ll be labeled missing in action, and nobody will know what really happened to you. Not unless you get up.

A shooting cry for help springs to your veins. Every breath is agony. Your heart lurches, your ribs shaking and burning without any pressure anymore. Your left hand reaches to the ground to hold yourself up, unable to keep yourself balanced on your own.

No, this is it. You’re done for.

“Fuck,” you sigh out finally, the acceptance of defeat freeing you.

The titan’s coming closer. Your head falls back again, and you look up into the pouring precipitation. Quickly, your eyelids blink at a rapid place from the micro knives of wetness piercing into them. The sweat you previously worked up has run away, turning your skin cold.

You wait for your final thought to turn into ‘it was a good life’. But it doesn’t come. In fact, no thought comes to you at all. Your mind is blank, even when you turn to stare in the face of death, whose enormous hand is reaching out to you.

No thoughts. Just... fuck.

A fist erupts through the maw of the ten meter. With an explosive pop, something thick showers over you, glooping in your hair and dripping down your nose and into your mouth. Something in your ears click as a hollow, electric roar amplifies itself into the air. As you open your sticky, goo ridden eyelids to look at your grim reaper, you find the beast lifted off the ground by an incredible force.

Another titan- a muscular one about fifteen meters, with his hand straight through the smaller ones mouth. With long, dark brown hair whipping harshly in the wind and rain, emerald eyes glow like a flame of grass. He is... vicious, and what splattered on you was blood, and it’s burning but you’re too shocked by the sight ahead of you to care.

The fifteen meter pushes the ten meter off of his wrist with his other hand, before gripping him by the nape and throwing him through the air like nothing more than a ball.

Your free arm covers your head with fear as you flinch. For a split second, you are shielded from the rain, and can hear the whistling sound of something flying at a quick speed. Even with shut eyes, your vision darkness with the shadow of a large body. And then the ground shakes as the monster collapses with a boom.

What the hell?

Out of breath, you widen your eyes as you stare at the steaming hulk of flesh. Salty water slips in drops off of strands of your hair. The titan blood covering you begins to evaporate just as you turn to the other titan, breathing through your mouth despite the oncoming pain.

What the hell?

The fifteen meter leans back on his heels to observe his work of the other titan. His toned, muscular form shines in the glint of the wet rain. His dark hair clings to his neck tightly. When his two rows of teeth open, warm puffs of steam hiss out in a flurry as easily as air.

Abnormal. He’s gotta be... an... abnormal...

And then he meets your eyes, and it’s all over.

You watch a large, muscled hand reach out to you. There’s too much pain to move, or panic, or even think. Your life isn’t flashing before your eyes. You’re not thinking of home, family, anything like that. You’re thinking about how the icy rain has stopped falling against you for a brief moment, stopped by the skin of your killer.

Eyes shut tight as you keep applying pressure on your ribcage. The hood of your sweatshirt lifts up, choking you as your body follows limply. There’s only a few seconds before you can’t feel the rough ground anymore, and you know you’re up in the air. The rain sparks against your skin again, adding to the weight that’s gone straight to your throat and ankles.

And then...

Your feet touch against a solid again. The hood falls back against your shoulders. Your weight returns to your entire body. That’s a sharp stab against your ribs that makes you grit your teeth and pop your eyes open, but you find that there’s no gaping mouth in front of you. There is no, absolutely no chance, threat of death.

You’re... on a roof. The Abnormal is drawing his palm away from you, looking down through his dark hair that’s soaked in the salty water from above. His eyes are piercing and intelligent, but they’re not angry. He’s not going to kill you. He’s not going to hurt you.

As your eyes continuously widen, the Abnormal finally turns away from you. Great booms ring out into the air, the flats of his feet crush the ground beneath him with no effort at all. All the muscles in his back are tensing and shifting, drawing further and further away from you.

He didn’t kill you. The biggest, strongest titan you’ve ever seen didn’t kill you. Even when it had you between its fingers. And the way he looked at you... it was showing something more than other titans. It was showing intelligence, awareness. If something of this caliber has a bone to pick with its fellow titans, are you really going to slip away this easily?

If you could possibly steer the thing to find your way back to your squad, you could use it to your advantage in the battle. How many humans could you save with this? Could this be enough to take out the Colossal? Or the Armored, even? There’s only one way to find out.

You’ve made a discovery. This realization alone gives you the motivation you need to push yourself to your feet with a whimper. It’s time to catch up to that thing.

Limping as you pick up your pacing, trying your best to work up an acceleration before firing the anchors of your ODM gear. One hand still held tightly against your side, your fingers squeeze the triggers of your gear. The anchor latches into the skin of Abnormal with a click, albeit just barely, and you fly towards him with as much care as you can.

You clamber to the top of the muscle, trying to find your footing while still holding your abdomen. One of your hands reaches out to grip onto a lock of brunette hair on the beast like a kind of rope, hoping to steady yourself. Luckily, your ride comes to a stop, shifting its head to acknowledge you. Once more, you hold eye contact, but this time you’re quick to overcome your disbelief.

Could it understand communication?

You go to say something, but the pressure on your lungs makes you wince and hiss instead. A gasp falls from the back of your throat- a strangled cry that confirms how serious this injury really is. Something is broken, something is wrong, and you pull on the titans hair as you try to keep yourself steady from falling off and injuring yourself further, and for a split second you think you’ll hurt it.

“Fuck,” you wheeze out with shut eyes.

Beside you, you feel the rumbling of a growling breath. The shoulder you stand on shifts, reminding you that your ankle is also pained. When your eyes open again, there’s a hand beside you, reaching out once more.

You scoot away from it best you can, tugging on the things hair for leverage. It’s grimy, and dirty, but long and soft and slick at the same time. Weirdly enough, it’s better than most of your fellow soldiers hair.

The Abnormals fingers come into range, and with as much might as you can muster, you slap it away. It barely moves, of course. There’s another growl. The fingers extend again. Another push to shove it away.

“No,” you strangle out weakly. “Stop it.”

And then he does stop. You twist your head around to meet his eyes once more, but they’re right where you left them- on you.

“I can stay,” you say hoarsely as your ribs crack uncomfortably. “I can stay.”

The drum of the rain fades into silence. There is only you, and whatever he is, staring at each other with desperation and analyzation. Nothing else exists. Not the battle around you, nor the lives being lost at this very moment. It’s just the promise of life that pushes you to keep going. It’s the new chance of hope that you’ve been given, purely by chance.

The rain around you comes back to life. It shudders with the wind, loud and clear and explosive. It seems to be on the verge of turning to hail, popping and pricking against rooftops a million times over. It’s making the air colder, more violent. But it’s nothing compared to the way the Abnormal bows its head shortly. It’s nothing compared to the way the Abnormal nods at you.

“Okay,” you breathe out with disbelief. “Okay.”

A loud, shrieking roar pulls the both of you from your gaze. At the end of the road is a nine meter, with messy short hair and a wide mouth splattered with blood. Beside it is a smaller titan, maybe four meters, on its hands and knees like it’s about to pounce. With those stupid, hated expressions, you can see where your new partner got the strength to rip off a head.

You pull on the Abnormals hair in preparation. He rears his head back, breathing out steam to the sky. Beneath the soles of your shoes, you can feel its strange skin heating up like a fresh fire.

At once, your fingers squeeze the triggers of your ODM. It anchors into the wall of a building to the left of the smaller titan. At the same time, your Abnormal companion steps forward, cocking his fist back.

It takes a lot of strength and teeth gritting to pull both of your blades out. The hand leaving your side makes you feel the inside of your ribs pop. But you hold them behind you, twisting as you turn and make quick work of slicing the nape of the four meter before it can make any moves. It’s still, and then it collapses, smoking.

Your partner shoves the nine meter into a building. Both his hands pull back into fists, pommeling the thing repeatedly. You click the trigger again, jumping up into the air far above the rooftops all around you. You’re soaring, and coming closer and closer to the titan until you swing out with a whisper. Its head falls back, while your Abnormal lifts his leg to knee it in the chest.

The Abnormal shows emotions. It shows anger- even after he sees that his foe has been finished off. Prompting you, as you twist to aim your ODM gear again, to wonder if he is even an Abnormal. For all you know, he could be something completely different entirely. But then what is it? What have you discovered here?

You fall back to the shoulder of your partner gracefully. You sheathe both swords, grip onto his hair with one hand, and onto your side with the other. He stops his movements, still breathing out like a rancor human would.

You learn quickly that it’s better if you don’t try to control him. He’s more efficient when you treat him like a partner, and split up to clear a path for him. So you do. You spring from his shoulder to take out whatever slow, stupid creature crosses your path, though occasionally he moves before you can do so as if he’d rather do it himself. It’s not easy at all with your ribs in the condition that they are, and every movement makes your ankle and wrist click like they’re on the verge of snapping away. They probably are. Breathing, again with your rib problem, is becoming increasingly difficult, and there’s no sign of your squad in sight.

There’s no soldiers to be seen at all, actually- not even using ODM gear above you. It’s almost like the entire battle has just ended. Maybe everyone died. Everyone, except you, who did not even make the top ten and should be dead anyway.

You clutch your stomach as you think about this. The great being you’ve come to rely on in the past few minutes cranes his neck to look at you.

Your eyes close as you breathe as steadily as you can. The stabbing, electrical, unimaginable pain is becoming more and more unbearable by the second. You could’ve pierced a lung, and now you’re slowly dying, with only a foe who’s not even a foe to comfort you. At least you’ve started to like the strange rows of teeth he possesses. Looking at that as you die might make you feel better.

In one motion, the shadow of a hand covers you. The little pricks of rain have ceased once again, so you open your eyes to look up. Sure enough, a behemoth of a hand shields you like an umbrella, keeping you from soaking any further.

You look to meet his eyes. Before, they were all emerald green. But now, you can see flecks of teal in them. They’re strangely beautiful, almost otherworldly. And they remind you of something you can neither define nor place. Something you’ve never seen before. Cool toned, but also... warm.

“What the hell are you?” you whisper out, half to yourself.

Large fingers brush against your hood softly. It’s tugged up and placed over your head as gently as the giant can muster, the raindrops stuck to the cloth falling into your eyes. Maybe you won’t die. Maybe you really, really won’t.

The Abnormal growls again, though it’s still distant and none threatening. It’s more like a vibration, really. This thing is the embodiment of anger and vengeance, and yet its saved your life multiple times. You should be... you should be dead. How many times have you thought that today?

Your ribs bring you back to reality. Breathing a little too inwardly proves to be your undoing, nearly collapsing over as you grab at the area. It stings, it stabs, and you choke on your own throat with tightly shut eyes.

Yes, I should be dead. The proof is right here.

There’s one movement. It’s slow and fluid, as if something gentle was about to happen. But that, like all other gentle things, dies fast. Because there’s a second motion, a quicker one and a more abrupt one. And then there’s something slamming into you, your head going hot, the wind in your ears, and finally your back bursting open on something rough.

You can’t think. You can’t move. But only one thing comes to mind: The Titan.

“Y/N?!”

You groan in response, eyes closed as pain tingles up from your toes slowly.

“Where did you come from?! Y/N?!”

...

You’ve never liked waking up. You might’ve tolerated it in your youth, before the titans came, but since you’d enlisted, it was hard to be an early bird. It made you grumpy. Luckily, you weren’t social enough to have people around you to witness you doing so. Except for now, and the man in front of you with intense eyes and a long face.

On his jacket is the sigil of the military police- a green unicorn shining like bravery. His lips are slightly snarled, despite the charismatic voice that you barely bother listening to.

He tells you his name- Nile- and asks yours. You don’t answer. He has to get the report from the nurse, who only has your first name listed because nobody else in the corps knows your last. He keeps overusing it in some strange attempt to make you feel at ease, unaware that your intelligence has a built in bullshit detector.

What an idiot, you think behind your bandaged head.

Nile asks you if you can tell him what happened to you, but you can tell he doesn’t care. You keep it short and anonymous. (“I was assigned to the vanguard. I already know my squad is dead.”)

He asks if you know someone with the last name Jaeger. You do. But it feels wrong to say so. (“Probably.”)

By the end of it, Nile’s stupid looking eye is practically twitching. He asks about your injuries, which you learn more about. your ribs were broken, as you’d expected. There was internal bleeding, your appendix had been removed, a few broken fingers on your right hand. Twisted ankle, broken wrist. Then Nile asks how you got them.

(“I fell.”)

And he asks how you fell, like he’s looking for a specific answer.

(“I landed on a roof and lost my feet.”)

He also questions if you ran into any Abnormals. If maybe they were responsible for your injuries.

You narrow your eyes.

(“I only ran into one.”)

And finally, if that one hurt you.

(“No.”)

You know that he knows. But it doesn’t matter. Something inside of you tells you that you can’t tattle on your Abnormal discovery. If he was responsible for knocking you off his shoulder, which he probably was, you still weren’t going to say a word. He saved your life. Considering he’s alive and well, maybe even captured, it’s only fitting you save him in return.

Nile leaves at least, foaming at the mouth in frustration, masked only in a thin layer of politeness. Rain drops hit the window behind you. You crane your head around to watch them, the thunder booming lowly. Last time you were in this weather, that great beast had shielded you from it. Once with his hand, another with your own hood. And if you squint hard enough through the pain, you can just make out the silhouette of a rancor titan, and the tiny human on its shoulder, eager to return the favor.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Did I reread this? I skimmed it. Why? Because this took over a week or 2 to get out and I have to start finishing requests before i lose my mind with all these drafts oh god. i always so i’ll go back and edit but i never do lmao. my bad.

Fun fact! the original draft showcased the reader being separated from eren, and losing all gas. surrounded by titans, they yell at the titan for help, but he is distracted by a titan nearby after leading him to Mikasa. While the reader finally dies, eren sees them from over the buildings and roars, begins to stomp on the nape of the titan, and is infused with a new rage. The reader is listed missing in action, and Eren can’t remember what happened to them, but remembers seeing them. Another happy ending!

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azucanela · 4 years

Note

OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH YOUR WRITING YOU ARE DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS ON TUMBLR NO CAP!!! i love ur zuko fics, and i wanted to request some sokka x reader!!! i want u to have complete creative freedom but i love how you write slowburn omg so some enemies to friends to lovers sokka content would be insaneeee! maybe reader is fire nation (zuko’s cousin/iroh’s daughter??) but joins the gaang after crossroads or something?

AFTER | SOKKA X READER

SUMMARY: Sokka didn’t expect the girl who held a knife to his neck to be the same girl he’d fall for. Y/N didn’t really expect to fall either.

WORD COUNT: 10k

WARNINGS: injuries, implications of death, kisses, bloodbending, threats of bodily harm, death threats

A/N: time to give sokka the attention and hype he is OWED, also im SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGG but this is quite possibly my favorite Y/N. writing for sokka is hard tho. im not sure how much i like this tbh but its really long omg. also thank you!!!! i feel honored to be considered the best :D you are too kind

When she was younger, Y/N joined Azula’s little troupe of girls. Though she wasn’t some loyal little soldier for her to order around, no, Y/N never feared Azula. Nor did she follow her blindly. No, it had always been a struggle for power between the two. Even when her father was booted from the throne as the rightful heir.

Losing her brother made her wonder if giving up like her father had in Ba Sing Se was the easy way out. Perhaps thats why she promised herself she would never give up. Maybe thats why she challenged Azula to... an unofficial duel when she’d heard her comment. Challenged her and won.

The new Fire Lord’s pride and joy had lost against his niece, a shame.

Y/N hadn’t thought much of it, but it probably would’ve explained why Fire Lord Ozai was rather pleased when Y/N had came to him and explained her intents to go alongside her father and cousin in banishment. She was, no matter how unlikely, another potential heir to the throne. And unlike Zuko, an actual threat. Sending her on a journey to find someone who’d been missing for a century was the best way to get rid of her.

If Y/N was honest, she viewed the banishment as more of a vacation. All her life, she had to deal with banquets, politics, war tactics, all at such a young age. It was tiring, and dull, spending day and night in the palace doing such things. Now, she had the opportunity to travel the world, though her grumpy cousin was rushing them throughout each spot, it was still nice. Zuko certainly didn’t think so, given that they hadn’t found the Avatar yet, not that Y/N believed they ever would but, it is what it is.

A sigh escaped her as she sat, on leg propped up against the other on the deck of the ship, they had arrived in the Southern Water Tribe after seeing an odd light in the distance. Maybe it was cruel, but Y/N sincerely hoped they didn’t find the Avatar. She didn’t want her vacation to end, she didn’t want to return to the politics, and she didn’t want to deal with one of the most powerful people on the planet. Aside from her own desires, Y/N couldn’t help but disapprove of Zuko’s need to please his father, the man who’d hurt him beyond forgiveness.

She sincerely doubted her father approved either. Though their relationship had been strained for some time now. Y/N didn’t hate her father, she doubted that was possible, he was a kind man and a good father. Things between them simply felt... off. She liked to think she’d gotten over it, the initial jealously she felt when she discovered her father intended to join Zuko on his hunt for the Avatar.

When she’d found out from Fire Lord Ozai.

Sometimes she wondered if her father even intended to say goodbye. But she wasn’t a fool, Y/N knew he had recently lost a son, they were both hurting and Zuko needed someone who wasn’t going to hurt him if he did something wrong. Though, Y/N saw him try to save the lives of the soldiers of the so-called great Fire Nation, not do something wrong. Regardless, Zuko needed a father figure, yes. But Y/N needed a father as she grappled with the death of her brother.

Maybe she was just a little bitter about it.

“Are you coming?” Zuko asked, his words coming out harshly.

Raising a brow, Y/N shook her head, “no. Don’t get too violent, though.” She warned, looking at him pointedly, “they’re a small tribe that’s going extinct.”

Zuko rolled his eyes as he exclaimed, “that’s not my fault!”

Sitting up to face him, Y/N smacked him upside the head as she walked past him, “considering the royal family, which you are a part of need I remind you, ordered the genocide of every single Waterbender they had...” She paused, cracking her knuckles before turning to look back at Zuko, “I would say you that everyone here probably blames you for it by assosiation.” Y/N reasoned. She had never liked the history that her ancestors had, much less approved.

Taken aback, Zuko exclaimed, “you’re a part of the royal family too!” Y/N was well aware of the circumstances surrounding his banishment, he’d tried to save lives, but war was the only thing that mattered to the Fire Nation it appeared.

His attempt at defense simply earned him a shrug, “perhaps.” Y/N didn’t consider herself a member of the royal family, and she doubted her father did either. And no matter what Zuko thought, though he was royal by blood, his banishment severed his ties to the throne permanently.

Unless they happened to find the Avatar, though that wasn’t very likely, Y/N decided she would rethinking her life choices should the Avatar be here of all places, as she rested her forearms on the side of the ship and watched Zuko march down his soldiers.

She wasn’t going to tell him that the Southern Water Tribe didn’t have a military, much less benders. As previously mentioned, the genocide destroyed the benders, and the most of the soldiers in the village had headed off to fight in the war against the Fire Nation. Though her brow did raise as she watched him yank an old lady from the small crowd of people, Y/N straightened her back, preparing to get involved.

Of course, a young warrior ended up running at her cousin, war paint and all as he attempted to attack. Key word being attempted. Watching him fall face first into the snow, Y/N realized he wasn’t a warrior, but a boy. The Avatar also happened to be a boy. A very, very young boy. Not a century year old Airbender.

Y/N supposed it was time to start rethinking her life.

Sokka didn’t know what he was supposed to do as he helped Princess Yue onto the Sky Bison. They needed to find Aang’s physical body, quickly, otherwise he wouldn’t be returning to the real world, and they happened to be fresh out of Avatars up until recently so that wasn’t really an option. Not when they needed the balance of the world to be restored immediately.

Sighing, Sokka moved to get onto the Sky Bison, only to be yanked backwards, stumbling before having a knife pressed to his neck. “What the hell!” He exclaimed in shock, garnering the attention of the others that were already on Appa. Katara’s mouth gaping open at the sight of him as Princess Yue cried out in shock.

The knife against his neck is certainly uncomfortable, and he realizes that he probably should’ve stuck around Kyoshi Island long enough to learn how to get out a situation like this. “I’m coming with you. Someone has to make sure Zuko doesn’t do anything else dumb.” Comes a voice from behind him, and Sokka’s brows furrowed in confusion, who was this? And why were they trying to kill him? More importantly, how did they know Prince Zuko, the guy who had been chasing them since Aang had come out of that iceberg. Questions ran rampant through his mind, and he nearly forgot that his life was being threatened.

That was a luxury he couldn’t afford at the moment.

Though he couldn’t see the person behind him, he could see Katara grimace at her demand, anyone associated with Prince Zuko likely had a similar end goal, to capture the Avatar. This wasn’t something they could allow, and Sokka recognized this as Katara asked, “why should we trust you?” Katara’s eyes soon met Sokka’s and he knew that no matter what he said, she would give into the girl’s demands for his safety. Sokka mentally scolded himself for failing to prevent this situation.

The girl behind him scoffed, “unlike my dear cousin,” Sokka couldn’t help the shock that flooded him, cousin? As in Zuko is this girl’s cousin? Or did she mean someone else? He was kidding himself, there was no one else it could be. “I like banishment, it’s like a fun little vacation. I could care less about the Avatar.” The knife draws in closer to Sokka’s neck, nearly drawing blood, likely expressing the fact that she could care less if Katara believed her. Though Sokka doubted she didn’t care about the Avatar, he was one of the most important people in the world.

But Sokka would likely die if she didn’t agree, or at least end up fatally injured. No matter how far Katara had come with her Waterbending, she hadn’t perfected it yet, and healing was only so effective. Sokka sincerely doubted she could beat the speed of this girl and her weapon considering the fact that she’d gotten the jump on them the first time around. Death wasn’t something he wanted, but anyone who knew Zuko couldn’t be trusted, much less someone who shared his blood. If he turned out... like that, Sokka didn’t want to imagine how this stranger ended up.

“Don’t try anything.” Katara warned, eyeing the girl wearily. Though it was an empty threat for the most part, in the air, there was little Katara could do against a foe. Though three, well two if you exclude the princess, against one seemed like favorable odds, this girl seemed talented in combat, even without bending.

She released Sokka, and he turned to see her beaming up at Katara, “happy to be doing business with ya.” Turning to Sokka, she looked him up and down, sizing him up before speaking, “be a gentleman and help me up?” Yeah, she was crazy. The pretty ones are always crazy. That, and she was Zuko’s cousin, it made sense. Though Sokka was fairly sure that she was joking, you could never be too sure.

“Who even are you?!” He exclaimed, exasperated and preparing to whip out his boomerang as he glared at her. He didn’t recognize her, but she’d likely been traveling with Zuko for quite some time now if they were related.

She just shrugged, “you can call me Y/N.” She got onto Appa with ease, Katara on guard a she eyed her, eyes piercing into her soul, Y/N raised a brow upon noticing this, “calm down. I wouldn’t have killed him.”

Katara inhaled deeply, trying to maintain patience as Sokka got into the saddle, “yip, yip.”

Y/N wasn’t really shocked when it turned out Azula was after them. Of course good old Uncle Ozai sent his most valuable asset to bring them back. Though some good at come of it, Zuko cut his ponytail, something Y/N had taken pleasure in bullying him over. Now they were on the run, in the very city that her father had tried to run to the ground all those years ago.

Irony at its finest.

Tugging at the sleeves of her Earth Kingdom garments, Y/N sighed, walking through the streets of the city. She didn’t know where she was if she was honest, and standing in the beautiful plaza, Y/N wondered if maybe, it would be better if she never returned back to that horrid apartment. Her father was starting over, getting them all jobs at a tea shop, even Zuko had tried to move on, going out on a date with a girl.

The Earth Kingdom was an odd place, but here, no one knew who she was. It wouldn’t be difficult to restart, alone. Without the expectations she’d been raised with. Fists balling up, Y/N exhaled slowly, turning a corner. There wasn’t graffiti in this part of the city, she realized, staring at the walls. Though there was an odd poster, squinting at it, she moved closer. It was a poorly drawn image of-

A Sky Bison. The same one she’d ridden on back during the Siege of the North, not that any others existed, the Sky Bison were a dying breed. Which could only mean one thing, the Avatar was in Ba Sing Se.

"Have you seen him?” She heard from behind her. Y/N recognized the voice, it belonged to the boy she’d held at knife point, “the drawing isn’t my best but-”

Turning around she spoke rapidly, “don’t freak out.” This was a problem.

Y/N liked to think she was the least threatening of the Royal Family, aside from her father that is. Though they could both be lethal in their own ways, neither demonstrated the true extents of their power unless it was truly necessary. Maybe that’s why Y/N hoped that the boy, Sokka, she believed his name was, wouldn’t freak out.

Of course, he did. Dropping the posters in his hand, he opened his mouth, likely to scream, only for Y/N to practically tackle him. She slammed his body against the wall, covering his mouth with her hand as she glared at him. Sokka let out a grunt of surprise, immediately beginning to struggle in her hold, “calm down! I don’t have a knife this time around.” Y/N cried out, her voice a hushed whisper. Of course, what she said was a lie, she always had at least three weapons on her. Upon entering the city, she’d knocked that number down to only two weapons, much to her dismay and Iroh’s relief.

She felt him lick her hand, and she quickly removed her hand in disgust, while keeping the other planted on his shoulder, they both exclaimed, “what the hell!”

Sokka’s eyes narrowed at her, “look. I don’t wanna cause a scene, so I’m just gonna go-” He sighed when her hand remained on his shoulder, firmly holding him against the wall as he tried to move away only to be pushed back into the wall. “Or not.”

“Look, you cannot go back to your little group and tell them that I’m here.” Y/N tried to choose her words carefully, if she didn’t need to, she didn’t want to suggest that her father and Zuko were also in the city. “I’m trying to have a permanent vacation, away from the Fire Nation and my crazy family, in Ba Sing Se.” She explained, slowly removing her hand from his shoulder, “think you can respect that?”

He looked at her wearily, during their last interaction, she’d made no attempts to actually injure them. And when she had the Avatar right in front of her, unlike Zuko, she hadn’t tried to kidnap him. Y/N had been honest last time, and chances were, she was being honest now. That didn’t make him feel any better about trusting her though.

“How do I know you won’t follow me and kill me in my sleep?”

Y/N looked at him incredulously, “is that a joke?” She’d considered that too though, the possibility that he’d follow her back to her shared apartment and alert his friends of their location. Y/N refused to be the reason that they lost their new lives in Ba Sing Se, and had already decided to check into an inn for the night.

Raising a brow at her, Sokka gestured for her to give him an answer, and Y/N stared at him momentarily, “well. How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?” Y/N retorted.

Sokka rolled his eyes at her, “I’m a good person.” Came his response.

“Debatable.”

Sokka stared at her in disbelief, “I’m trying to save the world here!” He exclaimed, and Y/N wasn’t shocked by his response, her goal had been to fluster him and she had.

Tilting her head at him, Y/N replied, “sure.” Stretching her arms upwards, she waves to him, “don’t tell your friends I was here, and we’re good.” She began to walk further into the alley, towards the other side, “see you around.” If he was here, his friends were probably around the area as well, meaning she had to leave.

His mouth gaped open and he stared at her figure as she stalked off, pausing momentarily before groaning and running after her, ending up at her side. “What do you mean, sure?” Sokka asked, confusion laced in his tone.

Y/N raised a brow at him. “What are you doing?” She wanted to laugh at his reaction, though he was now following her liked a lovesick puppy, which could prove problematic.

Crossing his arms he responded, “making sure you don’t do anything bad.” Sokka eyed her suspiciously, “because I am a good person.” He asserted.

“And I’m a bad person?”

She already knew he was going to say, ‘yes, yes you are.’ After all, she was from the Fire Nation, and Y/N had no doubt she’d done terrible things in her life, especially when she’d fallen into a dark place and taken on... less than favorable coping mechanisms.

And he’s silent for a moment, leaving Y/N to wonder if he suddenly cares about the feelings of the enemy. Only for him to say, “in my experience... good people can do bad things.”

That wasn’t what she expected. Y/N found herself stunned, speechless as she looked to Sokka, though he simply continued to walk alongside her nonchalantly. Quickly collecting herself, she looks away from him and to the nearby food stand, “that didn’t answer my question.” And as Sokka opened his mouth to likely continue his statement, Y/N realized she didn’t want to know the answer as she spoke, “you want food? I want food. Let’s get food.”

Sighing, Sokka followed her, “as long as you don’t poison me.”

Y/N’s brows furrowed at his comment, looking back at him, “do you-” A small laugh escaped her, “do you think I just carry around poison?”

Sokka didn’t know why he swelled with pride when he made her laugh, “in case you run into your enemies, absolutely.” It was probably because she was the enemy, and it took real talent to make someone who hated you laugh.

“How often do you think I run into my enemies and invite them to get food with me?” She asked, picking up a few things from the stand, before heading over to pay.

Frowning, Sokka watches her pay, “I thought we were bonding over,” he paused to take a meat bun from her and shove it into her face dramatically, “meat! Yet, I’m still your enemy.”

Y/N simply shrugged, “this is a one time thing.”

It was not a one time thing.

Sokka found himself ‘coincidentally’ running into Y/N, more and more often. She’d be walking through the streets of the upper ring about once a week, though she had started walking through the streets of the inner ring of Ba Sing Se far more frequently than normal in recent weeks. He’d been meaning to ask her why, maybe she’d also grown accustomed to their meetings and started to come around more. During their meetups they’d talk, about things other than the war, which was a conversation difficult to come by with the others. Though he cared for his friends, talking to Y/N felt different, a good different. She wasn’t overbearing like Katara, or mean like Toph, but she also wasn’t as passive as Aang.

It was odd. Knowing someone who had once held a knife to your neck in a more friendly way. Though, if Sokka was honest, he didn’t trust her, and she likely didn’t trust him either. They’d both taken precautions due to the mistrust between them, not that be blamed her. At the end of the day, they were still on opposing sides, kind of. Y/N had never seemed to care about finding the Avatar, but she was certainly loyal to her family above all else.

She’d demonstrated that in the Northern Water Tribe.

Sokka was the same, if he had saw an inkling of betrayal as a possibility, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell the others. Their safety was his priority at the end of the day, and Y/N didn’t owe him anything, just like he didn’t owe her anything. Maybe that was the beauty of it all. But for now, everything remained peaceful, calming, and simple.

Of course, all good things must come to an end.

Katara had oddly disappeared after Aang arrived with news of his vision. And then, as though things couldn’t get any weirder, Iroh arrived, Y/N’s apparent Father Iroh. Toph seemed to know him well, which certainly came as a shock to Sokka and Aang. “I need your help, Prince Zuko has been captured.” He explained, opening his mouth to continue only for Sokka to interrupt. He couldn’t help it when his brows furrowed in both confusion and frustration, Y/N had never suggested that the rest of her family was here.

“Are you crazy? You guys were trying to capture Aang not to long ago!” Sokka pointed out, throwing his arms outwards, “why not get Y/N to help?” She was certainly capable of raiding the palace and retrieving her cousin.

At this comment, Iroh’s face darkened, “we were separated in the palace. I’m unsure if they managed to capture her or if she escaped.” Oh. So that’s what he was going to say.

Sokka couldn’t help it when his face dropped, looking to Iroh he exclaimed, “well- why didn’t you lead with that!” Pushing past Aang who had been prepared to start giving a speech on why they should assist Iroh, only for his mouth to gape open as Sokka headed for the door.

“Why are you so eager?” Toph asked as they began to follow him out the door.

He faltered, quickly trying to think up a good excuse as he replied, “no reason.”

Toph’s frowned, “I can tell when you’re lying Sokka.” She reminded him.

“We can discuss this later!” He exclaimed, flustered. “Let’s go.”

Y/N had contemplated killing Zuko before.

It had never really been serious, as far as she would’ve gone was maybe injuring him badly enough that she got her point across. But at the end of the day, she protected Zuko to the best of her ability, and tried to keep his mind from being poisoned by the Fire Nation ideals that she’d once lived by unquestionably.

Now she actually wanted him dead. He stood alongside Azula, who had offered Y/N her spot in her little gang hours ago, though she’d rejected the offer much to Azula’s chagrin. But she seemed sure that Y/N would accept some time soon. Perhaps it was because Zuko had betrayed her father and left him to the Dai Li.

He had betrayed her father, the man who had practically raised both of them.

Y/N had a violent past, she wouldn’t deny, and she liked to think that she was past all that. But looking at the situation ahead of them, watching the Waterbender, Sokka’s sister, Katara, cry over the body of the Avatar, she realized that maybe violence was the answer. Just this once.

So, when she hopped in front of them, she had a plan. A violent one.

“Pull yourself together.” She snapped at Katara, who looked up at her, bloodshot eyes and tears streaming down her confused face, “he’s getting out of here alive. But first, I need you to soak them.” Y/N gestured towards the troops coming towards them, Zuko and Azula accompanying them. Katara opened her mouth, and Y/N didn’t care what she was going to say as she ordered, “now!”

Katara’s brows drew together as she released the Avatar’s head onto her lap, raising her hands to use the waterfall behind them to successfully drench the soldiers, who groaned at the discomfort but pausing temporarily before they continued towards them. “What did you think that would accomplish? What a pitiful-” Azula’s taunts were paused when she watched as Y/N drew her hands together, inhaling deeply, and Azula stopped her movement. “That’s not possible.”

Suddenly, lightning was between Y/N’s fingertips, and she extended her hand into the large puddle of water that Katara had created. Y/N had learnt to bend lightning soon after she’d mastered Firebending, from her father, he’d insisted that she only use it when necessary, so she kept her ability to herself. This was necessary, she decided, hand touching the water and sending a shock throughout everyone with it, successfully putting all of the soldiers out of commission.

Unfortunately, Azula recognized the signs of lightning bending, and withdrew alongside Zuko, and the two were now coming to attack from above at a rapid rate. Y/N whipped her head around to see Katara, mouth gaped open at all the fallen soldiers. “You two need to leave, I’ll hold them off.” She began to move to create another strike of lightning

“No.” Called out another voice, and Y/N whipped her head over to see it was her father, Dai Li agents likely nearby as he moved in front of Y/N. “You all need to leave. Take Y/N with you, she will help the Avatar reach his destiny.” Y/N wanted to laugh at that, how could he be so sure? If the boy did die, then this would all be for nothing

Y/N scoffed, “are you crazy?” She moved closer to her father, “unlike Zuko, I’m not leaving you.” She exclaimed, exasperated.

Iroh simply smiled at her as he said, “I’m proud of you, Y/N.”

Sokka knew he seemed dumb. He knew how others perceived him, as the ‘extra’ member of Team Avatar, the useless one, because he lacked bending. At the end of the day, Sokka was the brains of their operations, he was observant, and this helped him develop plans that most people would never even consider.

Not that anyone else knew, but Sokka was the only one that had actually interacted with Y/N prior to what happened in Ba Sing Se. Sure, they’d all met once or twice in the past, but Sokka had a knife to his throat then, so Y/N probably didn’t seem that appealing to the others. And he doubted they understood how odd it was that she was so... apathetic. Normally she’d tease, and joke alongside him but now?

It was odd, and nobody else could notice the shift in her personality but him, and he was concerned. Y/N had lost her father, and been betrayed by her cousin, and she had yet to talk about it, at all. Sokka liked to think that they were close enough to discuss such things, and he’d tried to get some sort of emotion out of her, the key word being tried.

Despite her apathetic personality, the others had warmed up to her for the most part. Apparently Toph had met Y/N in the past, during the time she’d run off and encountered Iroh. So, the two got acquainted fairly fast, Aang was happy to have a Firebender, and insisted that once he was back to full strength, and they’d found a better place for practice, he’d learn Firebending from her. Y/N had agreed but it was clear Aang wasn’t as excited as he was acting, Sokka figured he still associated the time he hurt Katara with Firebending.

Katara had been far less weary of Y/N than Sokka had expected, but given what Katara had told him when she’d first joined, that made sense. Y/N was a powerful Firebender who had betrayed her entire nation to help save Aang’s life, and though Katara didn’t approve of everything she’d done in the past, she tolerated her. Which was better than nothing in Sokka’s book.

They were currently camped out in the woods beside a Fire Nation town, everyone had scattered to prepare for the few nights they’d likely stay in the area. Katara had gone to the town with Toph and Aang, in search of supplies and food, while Sokka and Y/N set up the camp and collected wood to help start a fire. Y/N had insisted that she could maintain the fire without any wood, but Sokka viewed this as an excuse to get her alone and force her to discuss her feelings.

“So...” Sokka mumbled, looking to her as she leaned down to pick up another piece of wood, “lovely weather we’re having.”

Y/N turned to him, raising a brow before nodding, “yeah.” It was clear she wasn’t entirely paying attention the nonsense that was coming out of his mouth as he tried to get her to listen to him.

Sokka grabbed another piece of wood, “how have you been?”

Tilting her head at him in confusion, Y/N brought another piece of wood into her arms, “fine.” Looking up at the dimming sky she frowned, “we should start heading back to that spot we’d found earlier.” Y/N turned to begin walking, and Sokka struggled to match her pace.

His brows furrowed in frustration as he stared at her, the light of the falling sun filtering in between the trees and onto them. Y/N seemed to glow as she maneuvered between the trees, “how have you been sleeping?” Even Sokka sounded confused at the question he asked, but he didn’t know how to broach the topic with Y/N.

She simply paused her movement, turning to him, he stumbled slightly due to the abrupt stop, and met her eyes. “Just ask what you wanna ask, Sokka. Stop dancing around whatever it is.” Y/N sounded tired, looking to him expectantly as she awaited his question. Sokka scolded himself for being so obvious that she’d noticed something was up.

He sighed, “are you okay?” And she opened her mouth to respond but he continued, “actually? You can say that you are okay, and not mean it. Y/N you lost your dad and were betrayed by your cousin, and you-” Sokka grimaced as he met her eyes, “you haven’t been the same since you joined us.”

Y/N is silent for a moment, then her eyes were piercing into his, “how would you know that I haven’t been the same?” She asked, turning away to continue walking back to the chosen campsite, “it’s not like you know me.” His statement had set her off it appeared, but her response had easily done the same for him.

“Are you serious? Not like I know you?” He scoffed, jogging to catch up with her, “I know that you do whatever it takes to protect the people you care about. I know that you really like Earth Kingdom food because most of the food within the Fire Nation is on the spicier side.” Y/N didn’t seem to be listening, and the camp was in sight, but Sokka continued, “I know that you get really cold easily unless you regulate your body temperature with your Firebending. And I know that you can’t pick a favorite color because you are very indecisive.”

Aggressively, Y/N dropped the sticks into the center of the campsite as they arrived, turning to him, “you can stop now.” Her voice was almost taunting as she spoke, sarcastic in a way.

Sokka simply followed suit, placing the firewood in the center and facing her head on, “and most importantly, I know what it’s like to lose someone.” He takes her hand, and Y/N practically growls at the contact, attempting to yank her hand out of his grasp, she ends up pulling him closer towards her. Sokka clumsily topples onto her, knocking the both of them down into the dirt with a grunt. His forearms preventing him from crushing Y/N under his body weight as he held himself up, his eyes meet hers.

Y/N finds herself glaring daggers at him, while Sokka finishes his little speech with, “you don’t have to deal with this alone.”

And in that moment, he looks at her, really looks at her. And she’s really pretty.

Y/N opens her mouth to say something to him, only for someone else to begin speaking, “are we interrupting something?” Toph. Looking up, Sokka sees the others as well, Aang looks rather smug as he wiggles his eyebrows at Sokka, and Katara gives him a pointed look, likely disappointed that he’d fraternizing with the former enemy. He can’t help it when he feels his cheeks warm, and before he can move to get off Y/N, she’s launched him off of her, and he’s flat on his back on the ground. Toph laughs at the actions, bending a seat of earth for herself and the others before falling backwards into it, the girl seems to wish she had popcorn as she watched the moment unfold.

“No.” Y/N mumbles, bringing herself to her feet and dusting herself off. “I’ll be in my tent if you need me.” She retreats into one of the tents they’d set up earlier, and Sokka groans as he lets his head fall backwards into the ground and runs his hands over his face.

When he removes them, Aang is standing over him, along with Toph, while Katara organizes the firewood. “So... did we interrupt something?” Toph asked.

Sokka just sighs, his plan failed. This time at least. Next time, his goal would be to make her laugh, to make her smile. At least she had expressed some emotion, anger was better than nothing.

Anger seemed to turn to annoyance, since Y/N doesn’t leave her tent until nightfall and Sokka can’t help but wonder what was entertaining enough to keep her in there for all that time. When she does exit, she uses her Firebending to light a fire, and uses the firewood they’d collected earlier to ensure it stays alight. The rest of the group was seated around the center of the campsite, and Sokka wonders if she’s going to go back to her tent when she realizes the only open seat is next to him.

She doesn’t return to her tent though and he’s grateful. Though she sits as far as possible from him on the bench that Toph had created, half-heartedly listening to the things that the others are saying. Y/N can feel herself getting cold and can’t help the resent that bubbles up in her chest as she recalls what Sokka send earlier. Exhaling deeply, a puff of blue fire escapes her mouth and Y/N feels nauseous at the small reminder of Azula.

This catches Sokka’s attention, though the others are too enraptured in the story Aang was telling, Sokka turned to her, “cold?” He asked, leaning to the side to grab a blanket from his small pack, he offers it to her.

Y/N knew she wouldn’t be able to regulate her temperature when she fell asleep, but accepting the blanket from Sokka felt like... it felt like accepting him and everything he had said about her. So, when she doesn’t take the blanket from his hands, Sokka sighs, moving to put it back, only for Y/N to snatch the blanket from his hand and wrap it around herself begrudgingly.

This was her way of apologizing, moving closer to Sokka on the small bench she huffed as she pulled the blanket tighter around herself and turned her attention to Aang. She’d been mean, she wouldn’t deny, but what was she supposed to say? Exhaling deeply, Y/N closes her eyes temporarily, allowing drowsiness to consume her for a moment, before looking back to Aang.

It isn’t until Sokka feels a weight fall onto his shoulder midway through his own story that he realizes Y/N has fallen asleep, his mouth gaping open in shock as he pauses his words. He quickly shakes off the shock, cheeks warming as he turns back to the rest of the group, who all regard him curiously. Aang once again wiggles his eyebrows and Sokka ignores the action, continuing his story. Though he’s more weary of his vivid hand movements in fear of awakening Y/N, and noticeably quiets his voice. Sokka finds himself wishing he was Y/N as he listens to Katara’s Water Tribe horror story intently, after all, this is the most peaceful he’s ever seen her.

It doesn’t last long, because she’s soon startled awake, hand going to her side where she keeps her dagger as she and Toph speak simultaneously, “someone’s coming.”

As an old woman emerges from the shadows, Sokka practically holds Y/N down to keep her from lunging at her and attacking as the woman speaks. And of course, Y/N’s distaste for the woman doesn’t stop there, even when she invites them into her home, though Sokka doesn’t blame her. She’s a suspicious woman.

It’s not until he and Aang are attacking each other that Sokka regrets preventing Y/N from attacking the old woman when she had the chance. Katara is struggling to move, and Sokka can only hope that Toph and Y/N return from the cave soon as he yelps upon nearly making contact with Aang, the old woman laughing cynically. Sokka watches as she shifts, hand outstretching behind her, “don’t think I forgot you little Firebender.”

His eyes widen in both shock and fear as Y/N’s body is suddenly thrown onto the ground in front of him. Her body rising almost mechanically, back to a stand, Sokka realizes there’s lightning at her fingertips, the woman manipulating her body to aim for Sokka. “A shame you’ll be the woman to end your friend’s life isn’t it,” She’s making eye contact with Katara who is crying out and begging for her to stop.

Sokka can see the panic in Y/N’s eyes as the her hands aim towards him, “Y/N. It’s okay.” He calls out her, in an attempt at assurance that he doubts does much to soothe her. “It’s okay.” He repeats, squeezing his eyes shut as he prepares for the lightning to hit him. Except it never does, instead, it goes upwards into the sky as Y/N cries out in pain, having moved her body despite the woman blending her blood.

She had overpowered Hama’s bloodbending, something that clearly came as a shock to the old woman as Y/N turned around sluggishly, staring at the shocked old woman as blue fire left her mouth once more, chest heaving. Sokka could feel the weight on his bones slowly disappear, leaving behind an ache, the woman likely intended to focus her abilities onto Y/N, who was struggling to walk towards her.

“Scared?” Y/N asked, looking up at the woman, “you should be.”

The next time that Team Avatar feared Y/N. She was face to face with Zuko.

He’d approached them as they sat in the Air Temple. And Y/N had practically jumped out of her seat, preparing for a fight as lightning seemed to dance at her fingertips. Though Sokka knew better than to allow her to attack her cousin, and grabbed her arm. “Can you guys handle this?” He asks the others, maintaining eye contact with Y/N. The others looked to them understanding what would likely occur if Y/N was allowed to be involved.

Zuko wouldn’t walk away from that fight.

“We got this Sokka.” Katara assured, pure hate in her eyes as she stared Zuko down, and Sokka couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he should remove both of them from the situation.

Sokka’s hand found Y/N’s, and it was almost burning hot, a sparks seeming to fly between them, he pulls at her hand. Y/N hesitantly allows him to drag her away, though she turns back momentarily to meet Zuko’s eyes. “I’ll kill you later, cousin.” She promises, and her voice is scarily calm. “For my father.” The condescending tone in her voice and the wince Zuko has in response is enough for Sokka to know that her intent was to hurt him emotionally if she couldn’t do it physically, and it was clear she had been successful.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N closes her eyes temporarily as Sokka brings her into one of many abandoned rooms in the temple, sitting her down onto a bed before kneeling down in front of her. “Are you good?” He asks.

“That’s a stupid question.” Comes her response.

Sokka tilts his head at her, giving her a smile, “well I’m a stupid guy.”

He’s rubbing gentle circles in her hand as she shakes her head, a small laugh escaping her, “no you’re not.” Her voice cracks and she cringes at the sound so she clears her throat, staring at the wall beside her. Sokka can’t help the way his heart swells at this comment, because for once he doesn’t feel like the comic relief, he doesn’t feel like the side character. Though he appreciates the rest of Team Avatar and loves them all dearly, at times, they didn’t take him seriously.

Y/N makes him feel important. Though he doesn’t say this as he looks at her, clearly shaken by Zuko’s sudden appearance, she speaks once more, “are you sure I can’t kill him?”

This time Sokka laughs, shaking his head, “I’m sure Katara would love to help you with that, but I doubt Aang would approve.”

Y/N nods slowly, letting out a shaky breath as a tear escaped her, though she quickly wiped it away and looks to the ground. “You wanna sit with me?” She asks, patting the spot on the bed beside her.

“Sure.” He replies softly, moving to sit on the bed with her. One he’s situated, Y/N leans her head onto his shoulder, and Sokka finds his hand wrapping around her waist. And they sit like this for several moments.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N removes her head from his shoulder and looks to him, “thank you.”

Sokka raises a brow, “for what?”

“Being here.” She replies, bringing her hand to move a hair from his face, Sokka watches her actions intently and in awe. “With me.” Her hand remains on his face for longer than necessary, and when she moves to let it fall back into her lap, Sokka’s hand cups hers.

They’re both silent when Sokka’s hand releases hers, and his other hand leaves her waist, both coming to her face. The look in his eyes tells her enough, and she nods to him.

The kiss felt like the first breath of fresh air in a while. Maybe it’s because it had been long overdue, but as Y/N brought her hands to his arms to pull him closer, she felt her head empty of all thoughts.

He pulls away momentarily, their foreheads resting against each others, he can see her eyes are shut, lashes pressed against her cheeks. “I hope,” Sokka pauses, and her eyes flutter open to look at him, he can feel his cheek warm as he continues, “I hope I can always be here, with you.” It’s a confession in its own way, and Sokka understands the weight of his words as he watches her reaction.

She opens her mouth, likely to reply, be closes it quickly, and Sokka can’t help the panic that floods him. Though this is quickly replaced by the feeling of her lips on his as her hand collides with his chest and pushes him down on the bed, earning a grunt from him.

“Guys, Zuko is gone-” Y/N throws herself onto the floor as she rolls off Sokka, and he sits up immediately. “Am I interrupting something now?” Aang asked, giving Sokka a look.

Y/N clears her throat, “no.” Sokka couldn’t help it when his brows drew together at this comment, bringing a hand to his temple as he sighed, and Y/N stood, dusting off her thighs as she mumbled, “see you guys later.”

She started avoiding him after that.

When Zuko joined the group, she’s also made a point to avoid him no matter how hard he tried to apologize to her. And of course, when Sokka first showed him to his room they had a... chat. To put it simply, Sokka had threatened him.

Just a little.

“So yeah, here it is, your room.” Gesturing to the room, Sokka gave Zuko a tight lipped smile, watching him wearily.

Zuko’s back was to him as he placed his stuff down, “thank you.” He said, expecting that to be the end of it, upon hearing the door close he assumed Sokka had left.

When he turned around, Sokka was still very much there. “Let’s have a chat, Prince Zuko.” It didn’t go unnoticed by Sokka how the boy grimaced at the use of his title, though that didn’t stop him from moving forward and placing a hand on Zuko’s shoulder a little too tightly. “Y/N does not want to speak with you.”

“I know,” Came his reply. “Thank you for keeping her from... killing me. The other day. I intend to apologize-”

A small laugh escaped Sokka, “next time. I won’t stop her.” This was for multiple reasons, one of which being that Y/N was avoiding him, and the other being that he wished to respect her and her feeling about Zuko. “And you need to respect her wishes. One of those wishes being, avoiding you. Until she approaches you, leave her be.”

Zuko’s brows furrowed at this comment, “she’s my cousin. You can’t expect-”

“Leave. Her. Be.”

Zuko became silent, nodding slowly as he looked to Sokka curiously.

And now, to avoid some of his problems and solve some of them, Sokka ended up running away in a hot air balloon with the person he related to the most at the moment, and the person he threatened rather recently. Zuko. Both of them were being avoided by someone important in their lives, and they both had slightly crazy younger sisters. Though their conversations were certainly... odd.

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

Zuko looked at him for a moment before saying, “that’s rough, buddy.” There was silence after this, a temporary lapse in conversation that Zuko seemed determined to fill. “So...” Zuko mumbled. “You and my cousin huh.”

It wasn’t a question, Sokka realized this, but he disregarded it as he responded, “what about us?” Playing dumb would hopefully get him to drop the subject.

Zuko raised his brows at Sokka, “us?”

Scolding himself, Sokka realized he’d unintentionally dug a deeper hole for himself when he said this as he tried to avoid Zuko’s gaze. “Not really.” Sokka replied, “she’s avoiding me too.”

Nodding, Zuko gave him a tight lipped smile, “what did you do?”

“I wish I knew.” Sokka could only make assumptions about why Y/N had begun to avoid him, but at the end of the day was confused over it.

He really needed to talk to her.

As the day of Sozin’s Comet drew closer, Sokka had started trying to talk to Y/N more and more, she’d keep basic conversation but whenever he tried to address... the kiss, Y/N would shut down the conversation. And now, it was the day of Sozin’s Comet, and they established that Zuko and Katara would take on Azula, Aang would take on Ozai, and the rest of them would go after the army that was heading for the Earth Kingdom.

It seemed that Sokka intended to try to speak with her once more as he approached her while she strapped a dagger to her thigh. “We need to talk.” He said, plopping down onto a rock beside her.

“About battle strategy?” She asked, looking to him, “I had some ideas.”

Play dumb, play dumb, play dumb.

Sokka’s brows furrowed as he shook his head, “about the kiss, Y/N.” Y/N tried to hide her shock at his forwardness, he’d never been this blunt before, during his previous attempts to discuss this with her. Turning to him, she prepared to speak but he silenced her, “you’re going to listen this time.” Grimacing, he looked away, towards the horizon. “I don’t know what’s going to happen today. And if something goes wrong, I need you to know-”

“Nothing is going wrong.” Y/N stated firmly. “Nothing. So, we can have this conversation after.”

Sokka sat up from his place on the rock, moving in front of her, “there’s no way to guarantee that Y/N.”

Squeezing her eyes shot, Y/N took a deep breath, “I’ll make sure nothing happens to you guys.” She promised, “and I swear we can talk about this after.” She grabs onto his hands, holding them in hers as she looks away. Y/N knew why she was avoiding it. He was right, it was totally possible for one of them to die, and a relationship in the midst of a war was the worst possible idea. After would be better, or at least that’s what she’d told herself.

The pleading look in his eyes almost burns through her resolve as he asks, “will we?” It almost hurts that he doesn’t believe her, but Y/N can’t blame him.

“We need to go.” Her voice was almost a whisper as she releases his hands. Even if she wanted to continue discussing the subject, they needed to begin the battle soon.

Sokka frowned though, “if you don’t want this, just tell me and I’ll-” He sighed, bringing a hand to his temple. “I’ll stop bothering you.”

Y/n began to shake her head, “you are never a bother to me I just-” Sighing, she looked into his eyes, “I want this. I do, I’m just scared, and we’re in the middle of a war Sokka!” She exclaimed, the words spilling out of her mouth before she can stop them.

“You think I don’t know that?” Sokka cried out, exasperated. “Y/N I’m so scared that something is going to go wrong, and I’ll never get to tell you that I-”

“Don’t say it.” She interrupts, fear in her veins as she watches him.

So, he didn’t.

If she didn’t feel like she had something to come back to, maybe that would make it easier. Sacrifices would have to be made to reach victory, and Y/N wouldn’t hesitate to be the one to make them if it meant the others survived. They deserved to see the new world, the world of peace, prosperity, and freedom, the one that came after all this.

Y/N could feel the power flooding her as the comet drew closer, pure and raw power. Though this accompanied by her skill would likely help her in the upcoming battle, dozens of Firebenders with half her skill and the power of the comet was something she was definitely worried about. Overpowering them all was unlikely, and in the best case scenario, Y/N could slow them down. But she wasn’t a fool. In war, there were always casualties, and she was prepared to become one of many.

Then there were the thoughts in the back of her mind. Though nobody had discussed it, the throne could potentially go to her after all this, and that wasn’t really something Y/n was looking forward to debating. Perhaps it was selfish, but Y/N didn’t really care. Was it wrong of her to dream of escaping the shackles that bound her to the Fire Nation since birth, to leave behind the politics and the lies and the pain of it all?

Maybe.

Sokka knew Y/N had a lot going on in her mind right now. And he knew she was scared of what was to come, and no matter how much it hurt him, he respected her wishes to wait until this battle was over to discuss whatever it was between them. He knew where he stood. But now that Suki had left them, he found himself beginning to regret it. On the top of the Air Balloon, Toph was practically blind, and Sokka could do little in terms of long distance, aside from his boomerang. Which left Y/N to do her best to defend them from the Firebenders that had begun to swarm them.

“Go!” She cried out, knocking one of the Firebenders off the balloon. “Take out the rest of the fleet.” Y/N dodged the oncoming flames, intercepting them with her own to prevent the others from getting burned.

But Sokka wasn’t going to let anyone die today. “You still owe me a conversation,” came his response, looking down at the bridges on the Air Balloon. “Jump!” Sokka cried out as another ball of fire rushed towards them, he took Toph by the hand and hoped that Y/N followed.

Thankfully, she did, he took notice of her as he fell towards the bridges extending from the giant hot air balloon. They were all screaming as they fell, and Y/N grunted in pain as she hit Sokka, tumbling over him and off the edge, yelping as her hands grasped the bridge, with little leverage. Toph similarly went over the side, her screams filling Sokka ears as Y/N released one of her hands from the bridge and caught Toph’s wrist.

Panic flooded Sokka as he scrambled to the edge of the bridge, Y/N’s hand slipping, “Sokka! Hurry up-” Another scream rips out of her as she loses her grip on the edge.

Nearly falling as he grabbed her hand, his chest heaved. “It’s gonna be okay.” He promised, looking into Y/N’s panicked eyes. “It’s gonna be fine Toph!” He cried out to her.

“Yeah, right!” She called out into the wind, the fear evident in her voice despite the sarcastic nature of the comment. “Y/N I don’t wanna die.”

Y/N almost can’t hear her, too focused on maintaining her grip on both Sokka and Toph’s hands. She exhales slowly, eyes falling on the soldiers that are beginning to make their way down to them as she replied, “you’re gonna be fine, I promise. I’m gonna get you to Sokka, okay?”

Sokka was internally panicking, he wouldn’t be able to fight back against the incoming soldiers if both his hands were occupied, but his grip was faltering and he couldn’t pull them both up. Grimacing as he looked down at the two, he nodded in agreement to Y/N signaling that he was ready. It made sense in his mind, she would be able to use her free hand to Firebend, which was far more useful than anything he could provide at the moment.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N looks to Toph, “Toph, I need you to climb up my body, and grab Sokka’s free hand, okay?”

Toph’s death grip on her hand seems to grow stronger, tears brimming her eyes, “I- I don’t think I can.”

Y/N shakes her head at these words, “yes, yes you can. Bring your legs up to grab my lower body, and then make your way up, okay? Like a tree.”

Toph shook her head rapidly, “I’ve never climbed a tree!”

Sokka couldn’t help but grow impatient as he exclaimed, “there are soldiers coming, Toph please!” His hand was growing sweaty as he used his free hand to throw his sword at one of the oncoming soldiers, effectively knocking him down.

Y/N felt her arm swing slightly, and watched as Toph blindly extended her legs, finally managing to wrap them around her legs. She released Y/N’s hand and wrapped both arms around her lower body, slowly inching upwards until her legs were around Y/N’s waist and her arms were on her shoulders. “Good job, now reach up, as far as you can, and Sokka’s gonna grab your hand.” Y/n instructed using her free hand to pat the hand that Toph had wrapped around her.

Y/N could feel the young girl’s tears fall onto her shirt as she extended her hand upwards, Sokka’s freehand moving as far down as possible. The strain on Y/N’s body slowly becoming too much as tears leaked out of her eyes.

Maybe it would be better to just... let go.

She quickly shook off those thoughts, Toph, Toph, Toph, she couldn’t do anything brash until Toph was safe. Y/N watched as Sokka’s hand narrowly missed Toph’s. “Sokka, please.” Y/N whispered, looking to him with pleading eyes.

Maybe it was the desperation he heard in her voice that moment, or maybe it was pure luck, put his fingers grazed Toph’s and he latched on, extending his arm as far as possible and gripping her hand. “Now let go of me, and Sokka’s gonna pull you up, okay?” Y/N explained, looking to Sokka, his eyes meeting hers. Y/N quickly realized he couldn’t lift either of them up. Just like her, this was straining his muscles, and Sokka was struggling to keep both of them up.

“Sokka.” She said, demanding his attention, his eyes met hers, filled with fear as Toph relieved Y/N’s body of her weight and evened out the distribution on Sokka’s body. “You can’t fight back with both your hands taken.” More tears were streaming down her face as she spoke, “a-and... you can’t pull us both up.” Sokka was crying too now, shaking his head rapidly as Y/N simply pointed out the facts.

Toph’s grip on his hand tightened, “we’re all going to die.” There was resignation in her voice, and it hurt Y/N to hear it.

“We’ll figure it out. We are all going to be okay.” He stated firmly, a shaky breath leaving him as he made an attempt to pull them both upwards, a failed attempt.

Squeezing her eyes shut momentarily, Y/N allowed herself to imagine it, a life with Sokka and the rest of her friends. A life where they were all happy. Where everyone made it out of this war alive, and they helped bring balance to the world.

To give them that world, they had to end this war. And what was war without death?

Opening her eyes, she looked to Sokka, and he was panicked, noticing that far more soldiers had surrounded them and were preparing to mercilessly throw them off the balloon. “Sokka.” She repeated, and he looked to her with a tear streaked face.

“I love you.”

Everything seemed to slow as she spoke this words, and Y/N didn’t see the horror on his face for long as the grip of his hand faltered when she released it, he was screaming, crying, begging for her to stop. Toph clearly didn’t understand what was going on as she began to call out Y/N’s name in a panic.

And then she was falling.

It appeared there would be no after.

It felt peaceful, she decided. Falling. The stress on her body had dissipated and she caught one final glimpse of Sokka’s mortified face before going through the clouds. The comet was visible from where she was, the horizon, it was a beautiful way to die. But staring at the comet she realized she wanted to know what would come after, she realized that Toph was practically helpless and all Sokka had was a boomerang against dozens of Firebenders.

They would die. So, what was the point of her sacrifice? What was the point of her dying?

No, she wouldn’t be dying today.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N felt the power course through her veins, and she reminded herself that she was Y/N L/N, a force to be reckoned with. Nobody would forget that as fire tore through the soles of her shoes, and extended from her hands, propelling her upwards.

She was the daughter of the famed Dragon of the West. And she would take on his mantle, she decided, as she flew upwards and through the clouds.

She could see Sokka had managed to bring Toph upwards and onto the platform alongside him, and they were surrounded by Firebenders. It was clear that they’d seen her when their mouthes gaped open, and a few of the soldiers began to retreat, much to the chagrin of their commanding officer. Y/N found herself ceasing her Firebending and falling towards the platform, she landed in a roll and rose on one knee before opening her mouth and allowing fire to pour outwards.

The Firebenders fell off the bridges beside them one by one, and those who didn’t retreated back inside along with the others at the sight of the Air Balloon that Suki had evidently comandeered.

Closing her mouth, Y/N’s chest heaved, and she felt Toph tackle her from behind, “you’re alive!” She exclaimed, punching Y/N’s arm roughly, “idiot.” She dug her head into Y/N’s shirt.

“Yeah, I am an idiot.” Y/N replied breathlessly, holding the girl tightly.

When Toph finally released her, she gave her a smug look, “I’ll give you and him a minute.” Though this was partially an excuse to head back inside and into the safety of the balloon, maybe even attack some of the remaining Firebenders, it was also because Toph could read the room.

And there stood Sokka, mouth gaping open, tears streaming down his smiling face as he looked at her, before lunging towards her similar to how Toph had. Except his hands came to her cheeks as he brought their lips together, effectively knocking the two onto the ground of the platform, be pulled apart from her with a smile on his face, “I love you too.”

Yeah, after was looking pretty good right about now.

A/N: i hope you guys liked this SUPER LONG THING WOW, that was an accident. i was super close to like breaking everyones hearts and killing Y/N but then i felt bad so be grateful i was nice ksaljdlahfkj

anyways take care of yourselves!

taglists:

atla: @bubblebars @jada-cleo @art-flirt @the-deli-meat

#sokka x reader #sokka x you #sokka x y/n #sokka atla #atla sokka #atla sokka x reader #sokka atla x reader #atla sokka x you #atla #avatar the last airbender #lok #legend of korra #sokka is a bottom change my mind #im sorry ignore this #i hope no one reads tags #anyways have a nice day #drink water

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