#partners etc insert every fuckboy stereotype

[oflgtfol]

i think the whole discourse around whether or not cishet aro men are queer stems specifically from the idea of allo aros being hypersexual - and so the idea of an allo aro, specifically a straight aro man, draws to mind the idea of like, fuckboys, or sexist men who only view women as sex objects, etc. And that is likely why the idea of cishet aro men leaves such a bad taste in apparently so many peoples mouths

now, i’ve spoken before about how attraction =/= libido. i’ve mostly spoken about this in the context of being ace, where asexuals can still have a libido despite not experiencing sexual attraction. the confusion and conflation between attraction and behavior has been a huge source of frustration for me with regards to the popular idea of asexuality and how it has confused me on my path to figuring out my own sexual identity over the years

BUT. the idea holds true not only for aces who have high libidos - but also for allosexuals who have low libidos. the idea that to be allo aro is to immediately be some hypersexual fuckboy is just, so warped? just because you experience sexual attraction but not romantic attraction does not mean you immediately become some sexist pig who always needs your dick wet. like idk it’s just beyond fucking frustrating to see the way that people sexualize alloaros when they’re just - they’re just people. you would not assume what another person’s sex life or libido is if they were otherwise alloromantic allosexual, because your orientation describes the way you experience attraction, not your behavior and sex life, nor your libido. in the same way, being alloaro has literally nothing to do with what your actual libido is. so why are allo aros the exception? to try to divide the community and exclude them based on your assumption of their sex lives is just so fucked

#brot posts #aro tag #gonna get a bit TMI here. beware #i think im definitely acespec i dont know if im fully ace or not but im definitely acespec #and i dont care to define myself further than thst cuz its just gonna be frustrating for no reason #and the reason why i get so mad about the idea that aces inherently dont have sex #is that like - im acespec and i definitely have a libido of some kind #im still a virgin tho! like im not out here being some fuckboy #i just jerk off about it like jesus christ #like when you have this idea of alloaros in your head of being some hypersexual freaks with no boundaries and disrespectful of their #partners etc insert every fuckboy stereotype #its just - why are you assuming things about their sex lives and then deciding you dislike them based on your assumptions #1. how do you know theyre even having sex? all because theyre allosexual? #not all allosexuals have sex…? and not in a celibate way? #they could just jerk off about it and be perfectly content that way. same as me! #2. and even if they are having sex who give a shit? fwb exist you can easily have respectful consensual sex without romance #to assume otherwise is just…. #well dare i say it. its very sex negative. you have messed up ideas on sex if thats what you think